


There's Somethin' Demonic About You

by NotSoSilentSuicide



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Blood, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Nicole is everyone's bro, Serious Injuries, Torture, kidnapped nicole, single as a pringle Wynonna, there be smut, waverly for the win
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-07 20:45:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 100,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7729090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoSilentSuicide/pseuds/NotSoSilentSuicide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicole is kidnapped by revenants who believe that the two Earps would trade Peacemaker for her life a second time.</p><p>No goo touching, Dolls isn't arrested for treason</p><p>Warnings inside</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good Start To A Tragedy

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This work will contain points of heavy violence, kidnapping, torture, and a couple scenes of panic attacks. If anything of that sort triggers you in a bad way, please don't continue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a brief mention of rape in this first chapter.

The morning sun peered in through the window of Waverly's room at the Homestead. The sunlight reflected off of Nicole's red hair, and it caused parts of the tresses to shine yellow. Waverly smiled at how angelic her girlfriend (yes, official girlfriend) looked, and couldn't resist the temptation to reach out and stroke her face. She herself had requested that Nicole spent the night with her, and while it led to more risque activities, Waverly couldn't have been more ecstatic.

Nicole's chest rose and fell with every breath she took, and it captured Waverly's full attention. Just like Nicole, Waverly was currently undressed underneath the sheets, and her face flushed at the memory of Nicole's tongue gliding up and down her body. There was a heat that spread through her core in a way that Champ could never quite achieve. Only Nicole had managed to work her the right way that had her arousal trickling down her thigh.

The same heat was beginning to build inside of her, and while last night was certainly a first for her, there was no time to be bashful and modest now. Waverly scooted closer to Nicole's sleeping form, and ran her tongue across her collarbone. Nicole didn't move at all. Waverly frowned, but decided to up her antics. Soon, she was lying between her girlfriend's legs, and was running her tongue flat against her abdomen.

She could remember from last night how Nicole spent a good ten minutes just focusing on Waverly's stomach, claiming she had a six-pack to admire for days. The memory prompted her to moan and send vibrations through Nicole's body. The officer finally started to come to, and was confused by the sensation that was going south down her body. Before she could blink away the sleep from her eyes, a hot, wet mouth began to suck on her clit.

"Fuck!" Nicole moaned breathlessly before she glanced down to find a pair of mischievous brown eyes staring back up at her.

Waverly giggled against her, and it send shock waves up her spine and in her core. Nicole's hand snaked down, and her fingers tangled in brunette hair, encouraging her on. She would have been stunned to see Waverly taking action first, but the tongue that was sliding inside of her was enough to short-circuit her brain, and the only thing that was capable of coming out of her mouth were breathless moans and pleas.

"Right there, please!" Nicole begged, almost afraid that Waverly would stop without the right amount of encouragement.

But Waverly showed no signs of ceasing her movements; In fact, she brought her hand into the mix, and rubbed small circles against her clit as she thrust her tongue deep into her entrance. Nicole was on cloud nine, and she was pretty sure this was the best morning of her entire life. She'd have to have sleep overs with Waverly more often. A single digit replaced her tongue, and the redhead was seeing stars.

With a barely concealed shout (because even if Wynonna was passed out drunk on the couch, she wasn't deaf) Nicole came hard. Waverly lapped up everything that was flowing into her awaiting mouth. When it was over, she kissed and nipped her way up Nicole's body, stopping to pay more attention to the slight bruising that colored her chest. It had been almost a month since Bobo had poisoned the town and almost escaped the Triangle with the help of Willa, so the bruising and pain was almost nonexistent... Almost like it never happened at all, but it did.

"Hey, I'm fine, baby." Nicole insisted while running her hand through Waverly's hair. "In fact, I have a shift that starts in an hour and a half."

Nicole was benched from work for the past month seeing as she would be useless out in the field, and she'd have been in pain sitting at her desk filing paperwork. After she insisted she was alright, and the doctor gave her the green light, Sheriff Nedley finally let her come back to work. That wasn't all Nicole was excited for. She was now an official member of the Black Badge Division, and she couldn't wait to finally work on the real trouble of Purgatory.

"If you need another week to recover, everyone would understand." Waverly said with wide eyes. She was aware that pleading with Nicole wouldn't change her mind, but what kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn't at least try?

"Wave, I've had enough time to recuperate, and even Dr. Reynolds said I'm well enough to get back on the job." countered Nicole. She wasn't mad at Waverly's concern for her, she was thrilled that Waverly cared enough about her enough to check in several times.

"You know I just worry." defended Waverly with a pout that Nicole reached up to kiss away, leaving a brilliant smile in its place.

"And I love you even more for it." she whispered against her lips.

"I love you, too." Waverly giggled as their kisses grew more heated.

"I've gotta shower... I can't be late on my first day back." Nicole said begrudgingly as she broke the kisses, but Waverly pushed her back down, and straddled her waist. They both moaned at the contact of bare skin against bare skin.

"I've always been a firm believer in saving the planet." Waverly said between moans as their hips rocked against each other.

"Oh yeah?" asked Nicole absentmindedly, her eyes focused on Waverly's mound rubbing against hers.

"Yes!" moaned Waverly loudly. "So why don't we save water, and shower together."

That was the only thing Nicole needed to hear before she dragged a giggling Waverly into the bathroom. The mirror and glass doors soon grew foggy, but that had nothing to do with the warm water cascading down.

...

Nicole entered the station with a spring in her step. She smiled at Sheriff Nedley, who offered her a bemused nod of the head. He briefly wondered what had her so chipper in the morning, but he soon had his answer. His new deputy had a habit of not following dress code, and that was a mistake on this morning because the hickey on her neck was quite visible.

Now usually, he would keep his nose out of such things, but out of all his deputies, Haught was by far his favorite (not that he'd admit to that) and everyone knew there was something between her and the youngest Earp. If anyone were to spot a hickey on her neck, they'd sure as hell have a field day with it, and neither woman deserved to be under a magnifying glass.

"Haught... A word please?" he called across the room. Nicole furrowed her brows in confusion, but stalked over nonetheless.

"Yes, sir?"

"You might want to follow dress code for today." suggested Sheriff Nedley before he gently tapped his own neck.

Nicole's eyes widened, and her cheeks matched the color of her hair. She stammered and stuttered weak defenses, but eventually settled on a thanks as she swiftly buttoned up the top two buttons of her uniform. She looked as though it was choking her, but she'd take that over any more humiliation any day. Nicole quickly moved to her desk that stood empty for a month now. The deputies she passed by offered her either a "Welcome back" or a "Nice to see you back at it", and she gave them all a thankful grin.

A file was already placed on her desk, ready to be solved. Nicole smiled as she sat down, and released a sigh before she dove in. An hour later, a chipper Waverly and a half-dead Wynonna came wandering into the station. Waverly gave Sheriff Nedley a small wave before she stepped up to Nicole's desk. She set down a cup of coffee onto her desk with a happy grin, but it soon faded when she didn't get the response she was looking for.

"Uhm, is everything alright?" questioned a curious Waverly.

Nicole was questioning why she didn't request another week off. The pictures and papers were glaring up at her, and the intense amount of hatred that was coming from it was enough to make her a tad sick. She didn't even see the Earp sisters' arrival, and she jumped a little when Waverly asked her a question. Nicole glanced up, saw the concern swimming in her eyes, and looked away.

"There's a new case for the Black Badge." she muttered, rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands.

"Step into our lair." Wynonna quipped as she made 'come hither' movements with her fingers.

Nicole closed the manila folder, and followed the Earps to the door, the coffee forgotten on the desk. She closed the door behind her, and threw the file onto the table with a snap. Dolls caught the sliding folder, and opened it. After years of dealing with such things, he learned to show no emotion over any case. But the pictures were enough to bring a sigh from the Deputy Marshal.

A young woman who couldn't be older than Wynonna was lying naked on the ground. The thing was, her arms and legs were torn off, and were thrown haphazardly to the side of her body. There were random marks carved into her torso. Her face was bruised and battered, her nose broken. From the report, it was stated that the woman had her appendages removed while she alive. The report also mentioned bruises to her thighs and tearing to her vaginal walls.

"Dude, that's so fucked up." complained Wynonna, who was reading over Dolls' shoulder.

Waverly took a look at the new case, and blanched. She murmured something under her breath, and turned away to her research. Her eyes were scanning over everything all at once, and Nicole would have liked to help, but she feared she might just get in the way. She turned to Dolls, but he was already out of the chair, and was gearing up. When he noticed that his new agent's eyes on him, he snapped his fingers.

"C'mon, gear up, both of you!" he commanded.

Wynonna muttered something about him having his panties in a twist, but moved to gear up nevertheless. Nicole followed her steps, and suited up in a bulletproof vest. She hoped that she wouldn't need it considering it hurt like a bitch last time, but she was always prepared for the worst. She grabbed the duffle bag that Dolls held out to her, and slung it over her shoulder.

"Right, so we're heading out to where the body was left, but seeing as this case is this gruesome, I suggest we take gear just in case the revenant who did this is on the prowl." Dolls briefed.

"I'll feel so overdressed for such a small outing." Wynonna joked. Nicole chuckled quietly as Dolls grilled her about the importance of safety as they headed for the door.

"You be careful," warned Waverly as Nicole walked up behind her for a hug.

"I'm always careful... It's your sister you need to warn." grinned Nicole, chuckling again when Waverly slapped her arm.

"Yes, you give her my warning, too." the smaller woman said, turning around in the strong arms around her waist to peck Nicole on the lips.

"Roger that, ma'am," Nicole joked before returning the kiss. "I love you." She'd never tire of saying that.

"I love you more, now get going, I'll text you when I find out which revenant is doing this."

They shared one more kiss, and Nicole jogged out the station to meet up with the other two who were still talking about the bulletproof vests ("Do you think this vest makes me look fat?" "Earp!").

...

There was blood coating the ground still, and the grass was stained red. The severed body parts and the torso were long gone in the morgue, but the smell remained. Wynonna was gagging as she held her hand over her mouth and nose in a futile attempt to block the smell. Dolls and Nicole had smeared Vick's Vapor Rub under their noses to counteract the smell, and Nicole snickered when Dolls put the container back into his pocket without offering Wynonna any.

"Maybe next time she'll have more respect when visiting a crime scene." he said simply when he caught her eye.

So far, there was nothing left behind to give them any clues. The only hope they had was Waverly's research. After half an hour of futile searching for who-knows-what, Wynonna called it quits, and stomped back to the SUV. She was still pissy from when she found out they used the Vapor Rub without her. Dolls sighed, and said it was time to go so he could examine the body himself.

"Keep your eyes peeled for anything until we reach the car." ordered the Deputy Marshal.

Nicole nodded wordlessly, prepared to find anything that could be used to find the sick bastard. The crunching of leaves from the right side of the trail caught both their attentions. Their guns were drawn quicker than they could blink. Nicole looked to the car, hoping Wynonna was safe inside, and when she saw her nodding her head to a beat Nicole herself couldn't hear, she sighed.

Dolls put a finger to his lips, and cocked his head as a motion to follow behind him. The duo went deeper into the trees with Dolls training his gun in front, and Nicole keeping an eye out behind them. They searched low and high for several long minutes, but when there were no more rustling of leaves, Nicole decided to pipe up.

"I think we should square back and get the the SUV." she suggested.

When there was no response, she craned her neck, and saw that Dolls was nowhere in sight. She felt a pulse of fear. _Where did he go? Is he alright?_ There was a crunch of a twig, but before she could take aim, something heavy and blunt collided with the back of her skull. She slumped down, but fell into a pair of arms that reminded her of her run in with Jack. She could hear muttering, but her hearing swam in and out of focus.

"... gave up Peacemaker..."

"... do it again?"

"... first time..."

The blue sky soon turned black with everything else, and Nicole slipped out of consciousness.


	2. Wake Up Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole awakens in a foreign place.

Nicole's ears were ringing, and her head was pounding. She could feel that she was lying on her side on a hard surface. Her auburn hair that used to be in her standard braid was now hanging free around her shoulders. Her training at the academy taught her to use her other senses in an emergency where she couldn't use her sight. She couldn't open her eyes, and all she could see was black. It was either some time into the night, or she was being held in a room where light couldn't reach.

She couldn't use her sense of hearing since all she could hear was an incessant ringing. That tends to happen when someone gets smashed over the head with a heavy object. So she tried her sense of smell. The faint traces of Vapor Rub were still just under her nose, but the overbearing stench of decay filtered past that. The smell was so powerful, that Nicole could vaguely taste it.

The officer gagged, but swallowed it down. After a few minutes, the urge to vomit passed, and Nicole attempted to open her eyes once more. The gunk in her eyes ripped apart as she tore apart her eyelids, and she saw... Nothing. It was so dark in the room surrounding her, that Nicole had to blink a few times to make sure she actually succeeded in opening her eyes.

Her body felt too heavy when she tried to lift herself up. It was a strange feeling as she felt the scrapes on her body from being thrown onto the concrete floor and the radiating pain in her skull, but at the same time, a numbness settled into her bones. Her head felt light and like it was disconnected from the rest of her body. It almost felt as though she wasn't even in her own body.

When her back touched the wall behind her, Nicole allowed herself to rest. It was short-lived however. The light bulb hanging overhead soon burned brightly, and everything was visible. Nicole wished it wasn't. There were mangled bodies littering the floor. Some weren't fully intact, and severed body parts were piled in the corner next to the officer. She squeaked and jerked away, much to the protest of her body.

There was a tub on the opposite side of the room. Crimson stained the outside of the basin in streaks. Nicole grimaced when lifeless green eyes stared back into hers from the tub. A new type of fear plagued her chest while clenching her heart. She knew horrible things were about to happen to her, and while it seemed bad already, it was nothing to compare.

She just hoped that the BBD with the help of Doc would find her soon enough. Nicole thought about Waverly. She hoped she'd be able to see her again. The ex-bartender of Shorty's just came into her life, and Nicole wasn't ready to let her go. She'd never be ready. But the thought of Waverly had calmed her somewhat. If she thought harder, the redhead could pretend her girlfriend was with her.

The door was busted wide open with enough force to send it crashing into the wall behind it. The doorknob punched a hole into the wall, and anxiety punched a hole through Nicole's gut with the same amount of force. Two pairs of red eyes were burning into her, and she hung her head to hide behind her curtain of hair. The revenants didn't like that, so the bulkier one of the two stalked forward, and ripped her head up by the hair on the back of her head.

"I can't believe them Earp girls gave up Peacemaker for you." he snarled in her face, ignoring the whimper and flinch.

"What's so special about you?" questioned the other one.

"I didn't ask them to." Nicole spat angrily, her temper rising as tears swam in her eyes from the stinging in the back of her head.

A hand smacked her across the face, splitting her lip and prompting blood to flow from the cut. Nicole returned their glares with one of her own. The bulky revenant threw her sideways, and kicked her in the ribs. And then kicked her again. And again. And one more time before the skinnier revenant stepped forward to place a hand on his shoulder to stop his assaults.

"Remember, Samuel, we can't kill her just yet." he snapped, pulling his companion away from Nicole's crumpled form.

"But she ain't beggin' and screamin' like the others!" Samuel barked furiously while glaring over at the officer who curled into a ball to protect her ribcage from further assault.

"Well, I never said we couldn't mess her up some." the other revenant grinned nastily, his yellow teeth sharp and deadly.

Nicole's eyes widened as four different hands ripped her up off the ground. Samuel held her by the lapels of her jacket after they slammed her back into the wall. The other revenant went off in search of something. He was muttering to himself, and Nicole could hear metal clanging around as he threw everything aside, and Samuel laughed wickedly when he saw the fear growing on Nicole's face.

"Me and Bartholomew are gonna get you good, girlie." he grinned maniacally. "You sure those Earps care about you enough to save you twice?"

Nicole struggled against his grip, her legs swinging in the air, but froze when she saw the rusty barbed wire that Bartholomew was carrying over in his left hand. A freshly cleaned scalpel was in his right hand. His fingers tangled into her hair, and she could feel the cool metal against her scalp. As he carelessly began to drag her out of the room and down the hall, the blade dug into the top of her scalp repeatedly, and blood trickled down her forehead into her eyes.

"Get her onto the table." Bartholomew ordered, unraveling the barbed wire.

Samuel slammed her onto the table, and the back of her head collided with the hard surface. Her vision swam like it did before, but a burning sting in her wrists brought her attention back into focus. Bartholomew was tying her down to the table using the wire. There was blood rushing from the cuts and pricks on her wrists. Nicole knew better than to struggle against the barbed restraints seeing as it was tied tight enough to cut her already.

"Try not to squirm, or it'll cause even more damage." warned Bartholomew before he and Samuel shared a laugh.

"How do you expect anyone to know I'm here?" Nicole countered crossly, her glare entirely ineffective.

There was a flash that blinded her. After she blinked away the dots coloring her vision, Nicole took notice to the old fashioned camera in Samuel's hands. He gently pulled on the picture, and carefully flicked it through the air until the image became clear. Nicole saw her own glare staring back at her, and she looked awful with blood dripping into her eyes, from her lip, and down her arms from her wrists.

"We've planned this for some time, Nicole Haught... We won't mess this up." replied Bartholomew calmly. "Now, after I have the picture delivered to the Black Badge Division, Samuel and I shall have our fun."

...

Wynonna was chewing on her fingernails as she tried to think of an easy way to tell Waverly that they had lost Nicole in the woods, and that she was probably in the hands of the same revenants who slaughtered the other women. When she entered the station, her eyes automatically scanned Nicole's desk. The coffee was still sitting on the desk, and it made Wynonna cringe. Anything that reminded her of the officer sent a pang of regret in her chest.

Her and Dolls had searched through the woods for hours in search of the redhead, but there were no signs of her whereabouts. When Dolls told her it was time to regroup back at the station to inform Waverly of the situation on their hands, Wynonna was less than thrilled. She knew it would devastate her baby sister, and it was going to crush Wynonna that it had to be her that delivered the news.

"Hey! You're back!" came the chipper voice of Waverly.

Wynonna jumped, and turned to see the beaming face of Waverly. The oldest Earp could have cried at the thought of the crushed look that was about to come. She swallowed down her own emotions, and weaved her way through the deputies in her way. She knew her sister would follow closely behind her, and she was preparing herself for when Waverly would ask her where her girlfriend was.

Dolls was carrying up the line silently. He was prepared to give the youngest Earp the news if Wynonna wasn't able to bring herself to say it. Once the three were in their office, he shut the door, and crossed his arms over his chest. He watched as Waverly walked over to her research, and sifted through it. Wynonna slumped into a chair with her face in her hands.

"So where's Nicole?" Waverly questioned innocently without looking up from her work. When Wynonna didn't answer immediately, she looked up.

"Baby girl..." was as far as Wynonna got before Waverly began shaking her head vigorously.

"No... No!" Waverly stammered hysterically, but Wynonna was quick to assure her.

"She isn't dead... I think." said Wynonna lamely.

"Smooth," commented Dolls from his place at the door.

"I'd like to see you start off any better!" she snarled.

"W-where is N-Nicole?" Waverly stuttered, her breath catching and wobbling.

She couldn't catch her breath, and her chest began to tighten from the lack of air. There were spots in her vision, and when she looked down, her hands were gripping the back of a chair so tight, her fingers were turning white. There were thousands of hot needles pricking the flesh of her entire body. Wynonna was by her side in an instant, and her fingers curled around her sister's. She gently pried the fingers away, and they felt stiff to Waverly.

"We're going to find her, baby girl. I promise." Wynonna swore quietly into her ear.

There was a knock on the door, and Dolls decided to give the sisters a moment. He opened the door just a crack, and poked his head out to see Sheriff Nedley with an envelope in his hands. In clear, bold letters, it read **BLACK BADGE DIVISION**. The sheriff mumbled something about the letter being delivered just a few minutes after their arrival, and when Dolls opened it, he was glad that he was back in time to receive it before Waverly did.

The bloody face of a glaring Nicole stared up at him, and he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. He thanked Sheriff Nedley, who paled considerably when he caught sight of the picture. When he stepped back into the BBD office, Wynonna was comforting a panicking Waverly. When he caught Wynonna's eye, he shook his head. He knew there was no point in withholding such crucial information from the youngest Earp.

"There's something you two should see."

Wynonna tried to intercept what was in Dolls' hands before Waverly could, but she was too fast. A strangled gasp tumbled from Waverly's lips, and tears filled her eyes to the brim before they spilled down her cheeks. Wynonna cursed loudly when she saw the picture, and glanced over Dolls' shoulder when she found he was reading a letter. She snatched it away from him, and read aloud.

" _To the Earp girls,_

_You've given up Peacemaker for this girl before... Is she important enough to do it a second time? Just like Bobo, I have my sources, and I succeeded in obtaining Wynonna's cellular device number. Be expecting a message some time throughout the night. My companion and I will be having too much fun with Miss Haught to send one sooner, but once I send the message, inform me of the decision to save Miss Haught._

_If you decide against it, well... My companion and I shall have a field day in tearing Miss Haught apart. You have between now and then to decide, but don't wait too long... She won't last._

_Bartholomew and Samuel_ "

Waverly was a sobbing mess. Wynonna quickly ripped apart the letter in fury, and proceeded to stomp on the crumpled shreds. Dolls cautiously grabbed Waverly by the shoulders, and forced her to look into his eyes.

"Waverly, we have names. If anyone can find the information to help Nicole, it's you." Dolls said seriously. Waverly shook her head while still sobbing.

"Y-you heard them! T-the only thing they w-want is Peacemaker!"

"Baby girl, that's exactly what we're going to give them." swore Wynonna.

"What?" Waverly and Dolls said simultaneously.

"Well, yeah! It's not like they can hold it anyways." Wynonna insisted with a shrug. "I'll hand it over, they'll go all sizzly, and when those dumbasses realize their mistake, I'll send them to hell in a handbasket."

"That's not the correct term, but we should form an actual plan, Earp." suggested Dolls.

"We're Earps... Since when do any of our plans actually work anyways?" drawled Wynonna as she slung her arm over a slightly calmer Waverly.

"I'm going to go research." Waverly said quickly before she pushed off Wynonna's arm to scurry over to her boxes.

She had to get her mind off of whatever they might be doing to Nicole at that very minute. They've seen what Bartholomew and Samuel were capable of, and Waverly refused to let that happen to her Nicole. So with a newfound desperation, the young Earp picked and pulled at files until her back was sore and her eyes blurred.


	3. Heart For A Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not only does Nicole endure physical assault, she receives a lot of emotional and mental trauma as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some homophobic content in this chapter, and some gay bashing as well. Being gay myself, I would just like to point out that I do NOT condone this type of narrow-minded behavior, but seeing as it would be farfetched that all men from Doc's time would be as accepting as Doc, it seemed realistic to put it in this story. That being said, none of these views are my own. Enjoy.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Nicole had given up hope on a swift escape. Her throat was raw and bleeding from the force of her screams. After hours, she stopped screaming for help, and started screaming for death. The cackling faces of her captors still haunted Nicole even when she closed her eyes. Bartholomew and Samuel were burned into her mind, and danced behind her eyelids. It was like when you stared at something for so long that when you closed your eyes, you could still see a vague image of it.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

When Bartholomew had returned from sending the taunting letter, Nicole realized that their "fun" was about to begin, and despite common sense screaming in her ear, she still attempted to rip her way out of the restraints, and it only resulted in her tearing her wrists to shreds. While Bartholomew was away, Samuel couldn't resist the urge to poke some fun at Nicole by spitting hateful words at her while nicking superficial wounds into her flesh with the scalpel.

"Trust me, girlie, if it were up to me, I'd've butchered you long ago... You sicken me with yer filth." he snarled, gliding the blade along the inside of Nicole's wrist, drawing a thin trickle of blood.

"A bitch lovin' bitch? What kind of monstrosity is that shit?" He cut into her once more, this time across her collarbone.

Nicole had withstood his hatred for as long as she could. It wasn't anything new, nothing she hadn't heard before in her lifetime. There were always those awful people who claimed to be a dutiful child of God, but then go and tear her, another child of God, down for something she couldn't repress or change. So everything he was saying was bouncing off of her armor that she built for herself after years of arrogant bashing.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

"Lemme tell you somethin'... If you were around back then, Wyatt Earp himself probably would've put you down himself for yer disgusting acts." hissed Samuel, slicing another abrasion just under her chin. He raised the scalpel under his nose, and took a whiff like he was smelling some divine delicacy before his red eyes snapped down to glare into Nicole's.

"There's one joke that I just can't get over, and ya wanna know what that is?" Samuel laughed derisively as he grabbed her throat tight enough to block her airways. Nicole couldn't have asked even if she wanted to. "You think you're better than me... I can see it in yer eyes, bitch... But you ain't no better than me... You ain't even human."

Nicole could honestly say she hadn't heard that one before, and she also had to admit that it winded her like a punch to the gut. Almost as if she wasn't winded enough, Samuel reeled his arm back, and his fist collided with her already sore ribs.

"No one is comin' to save you."

The door flung open loudly once more as Bartholomew strode into the room. His eyes dropped to the scalpel in his companion's hand, and he merely arched an eyebrow.

"Starting without me, I see, Samuel?" he drawled, almost bored. Before Samuel could stutter an apology, Bartholomew continued. "No matter, but I do believe it's my turn."

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

The game hadn't even officially started, and there was already blood pooling around her body onto the table, and was dribbling down the sides to the floor with a loud dripping noise. Bartholomew watched on in amusement as Nicole struggled uselessly against her restraints. Without taking his eyes off her squirming figure, he withdrew a silver lighter from his pocket, and held a hand out to Samuel.

"Scalpel, please, Samuel," he requested, and smiled widely at the whimpering his words produced, and held the scalpel that was now in his hand over the flame. "Tell me, my dear friend, what have you put her through while I was gone? She was more feisty when I left, and I must say, it was rather _enjoyable_."

"I was tellin' 'er exactly what was wrong with 'er... For a minute, I think I got through to 'er." crooned Samuel with a smirk.

"Tamed the mighty beast, have you?" drawled Bartholomew before he spoke directly to Nicole. "What a pity, that would have been quite the show, but it seems you got a front row seat, didn't you?"

The blade was now a scorching orange instead of the slick scarlet it was before from her blood. He pocketed the lighter once more, and held it a few inches away from Nicole's face. The heat was already blistering, and a small part of her was relieved when he moved it away from her face. Bartholomew ran a blackened fingernail across her collarbone, and shifted the collar of her shirt over enough to reach the flesh over her heart.

"Every time your... _lover_ touches your heart, or any time that you reach up to feel your heartbeat, you will both think of me. You will remember this day forever, and it will be as though your heart belongs to me." cackled Bartholomew as he ripped Nicole's chin over so she was looking him in the eye. "I mark it as mine."

The blade seared the flesh over her heart, and the scream that came out of Nicole's mouth was more powerful than before. The smell of burnt skin wafted through the air, and smoke swirled above, and Nicole began choking on it. The agony was excruciating, and it was unlike anything she's ever experienced in her life. And if the burning wasn't enough, he began carving into her blackening flesh.

When Bartholomew stepped back, he grinned proudly at his work. Samuel stepped forward with glee, expecting something along the lines of a scrawled "B" marring the skin, but he was a little surprised when he saw a tiny heart carved into Nicole's skin.

"What the hell's that 'sposed to mean?" Samuel asked, but Bartholomew only chuckled in response.

"I claimed her heart by marking over it... I might as well return the favor."

"Why didn't you mark her with an initial or somethin'?" countered Samuel, scratching his head in confusion. Again, Bartholomew laughed heartily.

"What is the point? She'll never forget my name."

_Pop. Pop. Pop._

The dripping of her blood was soon replaced by the pops and sizzles of her flesh. Nicole was sobbing atop the table, and she gave up on fighting them. Everything they were saying was horrid, and everything they were doing to her was monstrous. She didn't believe that anyone would be coming to save her anyway. Samuel was right. No one was coming to save her. She had pressed her luck the first time, and Wynonna was already hesitant to save her the first time... Surely she wouldn't do it a second time.

And Waverly. Waverly would have gotten sick of her eventually. Everyone lost interest in her at one point or another. Maybe it was all some sort of experiment to Waverly. She was surely just testing the waters to see if it was nice enough for her? What would happen if she decided that this wasn't her lifestyle? What if it wasn't for her? And Nicole wouldn't blame her in the slightest. It would certainly be a pleasure to be used by Waverly Earp.

"Oh no, you don't." snapped Bartholomew as Nicole began to doze off from the pain. "Samuel, be a good friend and go retrieve the blowtorch."

Nicole's eyes widened significantly as she gawked at Samuel's receding back. Bartholomew dropped the scalpel onto the table beside Nicole, and stood by her head as he waited for Samuel to return. A few moments later, he was back with the blowtorch in hand, and a look of pure glee was on his face as he handed it over to his companion, but Bartholomew quickly shook his head while pushing it away.

"Why don't you do the honors of going first." he proposed, and Samuel actually jumped with joy before she stepped to Nicole's left side.

He started the gas, and sparked a striker in front of the nozzle. A blue flame erupted from the end, and he lowered the nozzle to the barbed wire around her wrist. A fresh set of shrieks tumbled from Nicole's mouth, and the only intelligible sentence coming from her mouth was "Kill me." over and over again. Blisters were bubbling along her wrist, and Nicole could feel the heat of the flame caressing her flesh almost intimately.

"That's enough, Samuel... We'll save the right for later." ordered Bartholomew. "That's to say if the Earp girls refuse our offer. For right now however, I would like to play with the hook, wouldn't you agree?"

...

Waverly could practically feel her spine about to snap from sitting rigidly in her chair for almost two hours straight. As much as she tried to keep her mind off of the fact that Nicole was being tortured, she couldn't help the different scenarios that were playing on the back of her eyelids like a horror movie. No matter what played behind her eyes, there was always blood, and lots of it. There were always screams that filled her ears, and there were always sobs that shattered her heart into millions of pieces.

Waverly was losing it, and Wynonna could only watch as it happened. She signaled for Dolls to come help her, but he didn't know if he could be much help if Wynonna wasn't. The silence was choking them all, and as if to answer an unspoken prayer of some sort of distraction, Doc came strolling into the room with his hat down low. He had a cigar in his mouth, and he was waiting to enter the BBD office to light it up, but when he realized the tension he just walked into, he paused.

"It appears to me as though I have interrupted something." he remarked curiously.

"An extra pair of hands will be accepted, Doc." Wynonna said in relief. Doc always had something to throw onto the table when it came to hunting down revenants. "Nicole was captured, and we need a plan to get her back."

Doc had a lit match just inches away from the cigar in his mouth, but he froze, the match popping before fizzling out. His eyes scanned Wynonna and Dolls' faces before they settled on Waverly. She looked like a statue with her straight, unmoving posture. The mention of Nicole certainly had an affect on the poor girl who looked close to snapping in half at any given moment. Doc cleared his throat before he ran his hands down the front of his vest.

"Miss Haught is very dear to Waverly, and has found a soft spot in my heart as well, I must admit... I will gladly offer my services to find her."

"That's just it," Waverly spoke for the first time in hours, and her voice was scratchy. "We have no idea where they have her, but all we know is that they want one thing."

"Might my assumptions be correct if I say they are after Peacemaker?" Doc drawled with a sigh.

"Yep, spot on, and I'm sayin' we should give them what they want! I've seen what happens to them." insisted Wynonna eagerly, but Dolls was already shaking his head.

"That's not a good enough plan, Earp. What if it fails?" he countered.

"He's right." Waverly agreed quietly, throwing Wynonna off-guard. "We can't risk our lives or Nicole's life by going into a gunfight half-cocked. We need a real plan, or at least a plan B if all else fails."

"Fine, Dolls, you hide out somewhere with a sniper." said Wynonna, her eyes widening in excitement as she thought further along. "Yeah! And if something goes sideways, you blast 'em! Problem solved!"

"I do believe that's the best plan you'll get outta her." Doc chuckled before he struck another match, successfully lighting his cigar this time. He took a long drag from it before he exhaled. "And might I say that I'm offended that you'd choose his skills over mine."

"Well, I don't suppose they call you quickdraw for nothing, right?" Dolls quipped smugly, and Doc scowled.

"It gets the job done in the end, and out of the both of us, I am the one who had the opportunity to present my own set of _skills_ , might I add." Doc spat, ashes falling from the lit end of his cigar.

"Stop it!" shouted Waverly, her head in her hands. "Nicole is out there somewhere, and she's hurt and scared, and you two are acting like babies over Wynonna's attention! Either you two act civil enough to help my girlfriend, or you both can just leave!"

Doc, Dolls, and Wynonna stared at Waverly in shock after her outburst. The cigar fell from Doc's wide open mouth, and crashed to his feet. Wynonna had to admit, she was getting pretty frustrated at the two men, and she was relieved when Waverly said something before she had to and end up hurting one or both of them. Doc and Dolls had the decency to look ashamed before they pulled themselves together. They both offered the other a nod.

"What would you have us do, Waverly?" questioned Doc, taking off his hat to place it over his chest, a sign that he was being serious.

"We wait for the message, and then we strike them before they know what's coming for them." said Waverly, taking role as the leader on this mission. It was _her_ girlfriend they took after all. "No one is allowed to hurt what's mine and get away with it."


	4. What Did They Do To You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes with plan B, and Nicole's mental state is scarred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this story, the revenants can leave the Triangle with Peacemaker and the heir at any time and not just during the Solstice.

Everyone was at the edges of their seat when Wynonna's phone dinged. Wynonna held her breath, sure that this was it, but released it with a growl before she slammed it down onto the table.

"I swear if I get one more notification for candy crush, I'm gonna lose my shit!" she snarled aggressively as she crossed her arms over her chest while leaning back into her chair.

"Do you even play that game?" Doc questioned curiously, taking a drag from his cigar.

"It was a dark point in my life, and I swore I'd never fall down that hole again." muttered Wynonna darkly as she stared off into space. "'One more level' I said... 'I can stop whenever I want' I said."

Before she could reminisce any further, her phone lit up again, but with a text rather than a notification. The number was blocked, and all the message said was an address. Before she could tell the others, the number sent an attachment of a picture that made Wynonna's stomach churn uneasily. Nicole stared into the camera with no emotion on her face. Her eyes were dull, almost lifeless... Almost like she didn't care.

And if the lack of emotions weren't enough, the blood was a cherry on top. Her clothes were stained in different areas with it, and the cuts that littered across her wrists and collarbone was like a slap in the face. There were burning blisters littering her left wrist, but the thing that haunted Wynonna the most was the charred skin on Nicole's chest. The small heart made her want to vomit; It made her hesitant to show Waverly, who was currently staring at her impatiently.

"Well?" she snapped, her fingers tapping away on the table.

Wynonna glanced tentatively to Doc and Dolls before she said, "Baby girl... There's something you have to see... You're not gonna like it, but you'll find out eventually."

Waverly was behind Wynonna before she could finish her sentence, and the air was forcibly ripped out of her lungs immediately. Her hand flew to her mouth in shock and horror. Wynonna cringed at the loud gasp that resonated in her ear, and grimaced at the hand that was now digging into her shoulder. Wynonna would have to have the "Good lesbians clip their nails regularly" talk with her little sister in the near future.

"639 Wortham Bend Drive... We need to go now, and we need a flamethrower, or a tank, or _something!_ " screeched Waverly, her panic getting the best of her.

"What you need is a collected head, Earp..." said Dolls monotonously. "Panicking won't help us, or get Nicole to safety. We are all the backup she needs, so we can't afford to feel fear right now because she's probably freaking out enough for all of us."

"I reckon Dolls is right, Waverly... You don't get to feel scared. Your job is to comfort and help Miss Haught, and if she sees you afraid, it'll only make it all the more unpleasant." Doc agreed before snuffing out his cigar.

"Alright! I'm calm! Can we _please go now?!_ " Waverly said exasperatedly. "Are we ready?"

"Baby girl, I'm ready for anything." smirked Wynonna.

...

"I'm so not ready for this!" Wynonna barked angrily.

Nicole flinched at the volume, and Waverly quickly growled a "Shut the hell up" into Wynonna's ear. There was a gun pointed right between Nicole's shoulder blades, and another one aimed directly at the back of her head. Before they left the station, Wynonna received another text saying that the "Marshal and the Cowboy" better be at the exchange as well so there wasn't any funny business. So the fact that her boss and the quickest draw were standing by her side was a little disconcerting.

"I'll say it one more time, give the girl the gun, and we'll be on our way." stated Bartholomew slowly through gritted teeth.

"That wasn't the deal!" snapped Waverly, her fury and fear building by the second.

"Now, girlie, you don't look like yer in any position to say what's what, and neither does this filly right here." said Samuel in amusement. He cocked the gun for good measure.

"You get Peacemaker, what more do you want?" Wynonna questioned in a hiss, to which Bartholomew laughed like he knew some kind of joke that she didn't.

"I want to be free."

"Ya mean _we_ want to be free, don't ya?" Samuel asked quizzically, slightly lowering his gun in his confusion.

Bartholomew smiled at him before his eyes burned red. The gunshot rang out before anyone could question the weird interaction taking place. Samuel dropped to his knees with shock permanently etched into his face. Bartholomew turned to Wynonna, looking utterly bored.

"Send him back to hell if it satisfies you. Personally, I'd hope you will," he drawled with a shrug.

Wynonna stared at him in shock, and without taking her eyes off him, she shot Samuel with Peacemaker. She didn't have to look to confirm that she got him; The sound of the earth opening up just to swallow him was enough proof. Nobody looked stunned besides Nicole seeing as it was her first time witnessing a revenant being sent back to hell. Her mouth parted slightly, but other than that, she remained without emotion.

"Now that that problem is crossed off my to-do list, I'll be taking Peacemaker, Miss Haught, and Wynonna." said Bartholomew nonchalantly, as if he was reading the weather forecast.

"Now that is not going to happen, sir, now you best kindly quit while you are ahead." Doc said before anyone else could. "We are giving you Peacemaker out of the kindness of our hearts in exchange for the lovely Miss Haught... Was that not the deal?"

"Do you take me for a fool, Holliday? You think I'm not fully aware of what will happen to me once I touch it?" hissed Bartholomew, his temper flaring at the insinuation of being dim-witted. "I have planned this since I discovered the little fact that the Earp girls traded Peacemaker for this woman's life! I need this one to handle the gun since I know she can't use it, and she's also the bait."

"Bait? Bait for what? We're already here, aren't we?" snapped Waverly, who was watching Nicole like a hawk the entire time. The fact that Nicole wouldn't look her in the eye made Waverly's heart clench. _What did they do to you?_

"Oh, young Waverly... I can see why Bobo took a real shining to you." said Bartholomew, his eyes running up and down Waverly's body.

"Shut up!" shouted Nicole for the first time throughout the entire conversation, her eyes alight with fire. "Don't even look at her."

"I will say whatever the hell I want to say, and seeing as you have a gun to your back, you'd do yourself a favor in zipping your trap." snarled Bartholomew, his hand grabbing a fistful of her hair. She whimpered while screwing her eyes tight shut.

"You need me, you won't do a goddamn thing to kill me... Not when you're so close, right?" Nicole taunted, her breathing now shallow due to the pain pulsing through her skull.

"Now, now... I knew I liked you for a reason... Maybe I'll take you with me when I leave the Triangle." grinned Bartholomew. "I like a woman with a little kick, but luckily I know how to break 'em in."

"If you so much as lay a hand on my deputy, I can bring you a world of pain with a single phone call." Dolls said forcefully, whipping out his phone as a warning.

"A man knows better than to lay a finger on a woman without her permission, and it seems you are no man." said Doc, his mustache twitching. "I know it will have weak affect, but I will shoot you myself for touching Miss Haught."

"People, please, why don't we save these threats for when I'm across the line, shall we?" chuckled Bartholomew. "Now, Wynonna, it's up to you what happens to Miss Haught. You were awfully hesitant the first time around. Is she worth setting me free, or will you let her die so you can send me back down to where I belong?"

"Wynonna, you can't let him go... He's a _monster!_ " Nicole pleaded, her voice breaking on the last word.

"That is true, Wynonna." Bartholomew agreed. "I'm so much of a monster that I'll drag her down to hell with me."

"Wynonna!" Waverly breathed out in a mere whisper, her eyes shining with tears as she gazed at her girlfriend who still wouldn't look at her.

"You can't let him go." warned Dolls.

"We can't let Miss Haught die." insisted Doc.

"There will be a high number of deaths if you let him out." Nicole said, desperation leaking into her voice.

"Is Miss Haught nothing more than a casualty to you, Wynonna?" said Bartholomew, his grin twisted wickedly. "You'll be hurting Waverly, and we all know you've done enough of that throughout your life."

"I'm not worth it, Wynonna." whispered Nicole, her head hanging pitifully.

"EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND!" bellowed Wynonna, her breathing was hard and heavy.

 She couldn't think at all with everyone talking all at once, and she really couldn't think with Bartholomew whispering cruel things to her with a faux innocent look, and a tone that made her feel challenged and belittled. It hurt to hear her sister pleading with her all over again, just like that night a month ago. There were so many similarities: Waverly's fear, Wynonna's uneasiness, and the cruel glare from behind the trigger that said the person didn't give a damn about anything but their personal gain.

Wynonna was in a tight spot. There were people telling her to save Nicole, and there were others saying that letting him go would be a grave mistake. It threw Wynonna in a loop that one of those people was Nicole. Here they were, gambling everything to save a woman who didn't want to be saved; To save a woman who endured something so bad that she couldn't even look her girlfriend in the eye. _What did they do to you, Nicole?_

"Time's ticking, Wynonna... Are you going to cross over with me willingly, or will I put a bullet in her, something your sister Willa couldn't accomplish?" Bartholomew quipped, his grin widening as fury crossed over Wynonna's face.

"Keep her name out of your mouth." whispered Wynonna, her voice as high as it could go without breaking in absolute rage.

"Or what? A choice needs to be made, and only you can make it, but I am losing my patience." Bartholomew warned.

"No."

"What?" he asked, sure he had heard wrong.

"I said no... There's too much of a risk, and I can't let you out into the world." Wynonna said with resignation.

"What?!" shrieked Waverly, her eyes glancing between the two women who she cared about the most in the world. "You're just going to let her die?" Her voice was shaking uncontrollably.

"Perhaps I rushed you?" suggested Bartholomew, growing nervous for the first time they'd seen him.

"No, I weighed out the options, and I'm so sorry baby girl, but even Nicole sees that letting him out is wrong."

"She's right Waverly." murmured Nicole, finally turning to look Waverly in the eye. "You already saved me once, I can't let you do it again."

"But I'll always save you!" sobbed Waverly. "Please, I love you, Nicole... Wynonna, please!"

"Waves, we both know this is for the best... Do you think I could live with myself knowing it was all my fault when he goes out and tortures someone else?" Nicole asked rhetorically with bitterness lacing her tone.

"We'll find another way to get him, I swear I won't let him live for hurting you, but just think about what you're saying, baby!" pleaded Waverly, her voice rising as she descended into hysteria.

"I've had enough time to think about different things, and I've made up my mind." Nicole said, the tone of her voice saying it was final.

"Miss Haught-" started Doc, but Dolls cut him off.

"Haught, as my new deputy, you must know that certain sacrifices need to be made for the best outcomes." he insisted. "You know that it's nothing against you."

"Whatever, I don't care." muttered Nicole monotonously. She never show them how much it hurt that they were actually choosing to let her die. It _was_ for the best, but it didn't take any of the sting out of the blow. Besides, they couldn't break the curse without Bartholomew, and Nicole just wanted Waverly to be safe in the end. "Waverly, I'm only trying to protect you, you can see that, right?"

"We need to get this over with... Now!" shouted Wynonna before a single gunshot rang out.

Both Bartholomew and Nicole collapsed to the ground. Waverly screamed horribly, like she was the one who was shot, and she fell to her knees beside Nicole. The tears were falling rapidly now, and she couldn't get any words out due to the lack of air in her lungs. Her eyes scanned Nicole's body before she realized that she was covered in blood even before the gunshot. Waverly cradled Nicole's face which was clouded with confusion.

Wynonna stepped forward, and blew Bartholomew back to hell. Wynonna cringed as she looked towards her sister. She knew Waverly would probably never forgive her, but she certainly hoped she would sometime in the future.

"You can come out now, Sheriff." called Wynonna.

Waverly's head snapped up, and she saw Nedley stepping out of the shadows of the alley between buildings. He wiped at his brow, and steadied his hat as he rested the sniper in his hands against his shoulder. With mouth wide open, Waverly turned to Wynonna, and slowly stood up, a murderous look darkening her features.

"You had this plan B all set up, but you couldn't even tell me about it?!" she shouted furiously, and slapped Wynonna hard enough on her arm to make her wince. "You let me believe that you were going to have my girlfriend killed?"

"To be fair, Waverly, your reactions were the key to our success." Dolls said seriously.

"I don't care!" sobbed Waverly as she fell back onto her knees beside the stunned Nicole who was still trying to regain her bearings. "I thought you didn't care at all."

"Well, Haughtstuff here certainly didn't follow the script I had in my head, so..." said Wynonna, growing a bit uncomfortable at remembering how much Nicole agreed with her fake plan, so she laughed it off with a joke. "Don't you just hate it when people don't follow along with your script?"

"I do believe we should stop flapping our gums, and get my deputy to the hospital." Sheriff Nedley suggested pointedly.

"When did you become a part of this?" questioned Waverly as she gently placed Nicole's head in her lap before she started stroking her hair, careful of the blood crusted in the hair on the back of her head and along the top of her scalp.

"The second I saw that god awful picture of my deputy... When Wynonna and Dolls approached me saying I could help, I didn't question it, I knew I had to." said Nedley, coughing awkwardly when he felt as though he said too much. "After all, if something were to happen to her, I'd have to go out and hire someone like Champ."

"Well, Waverly can tell you firsthand how much of a downgrade that'll be." joked Wynonna, cowering away when Waverly glared at her again.

"I'm still angry at you, but yes, no one can replace Nicole... Let's get her into the car."

...

Nicole stared up at the roof of the car. She was sprawled out in the backseat with her head in Waverly's lap. A thumb was rubbing circles across her cheek, and Nicole suddenly felt self-conscious about herself. She must have looked like a mess. Almost as if she sensed her internal struggle, Waverly leaned down, and placed a loving kiss on her forehead. Normally, Nicole would have an all-out grin on her face, dimples and all, but nothing about the car ride was normal; Nothing about however long she'd been with Bartholomew and Samuel had been normal.

"Nic? Baby? Can you hear me?" whispered Waverly, resuming her actions before.

Nicole could, in fact, hear her, but she couldn't bring herself to answer. She was too drained physically, mentally, and emotionally to really say anything, so she just stared up at the roof. Everything that those awful revenants had said to her while cutting into her as still ringing in her ears. All she could hear was "They won't save you." or "Everything about you is wrong." and all she could think about was if she really meant as much to Waverly as Waverly meant to her. Despite Waverly's loving affection, there was still a seed of doubt in Nicole's mind telling her that she was just an experiment with an expiration date stamped across her forehead.

"Can we go any faster?" snapped Waverly, her concern growing at Nicole's lack of response. She looked so despondent and small in her lap.

"I'm pushing eighty here, Waverly." said Dolls.

"Well you got Nedley into this for a reason, tell him to give us an escort." Waverly countered scathingly.

"Waverly?" Nicole said so quietly that the woman in question thought she had imagined it.

"Nicole? What is it, honey?"

"Please don't leave me." Nicole pleaded like her life depended on it. The thought of Waverly leaving her was crippling her mentally and emotionally.

"Never," Waverly swore before she placed the gentlest of kisses on Nicole's lips, fully aware of the split bottom lip.

"I'm exhausted." muttered Nicole, just like Waverly had said long ago, her eyes blurring.

"Stay awake for me, can you do that?"

"No..." murmured Nicole before she gave into her exhaustion, Waverly calling her name somewhere in the background.


	5. Everyone Has A Special Place In Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole is physically free from Bartholomew and Samuel, but her mind isn't, and Wynonna and Waverly get into a somewhat heated argument

When Nicole sleeps, she dreams about the fire of Hell licking at her ankles. The earth opened wide like a hungry mouth and then it swallowed her whole. The noise she heard varied as she fell lower and lower. Nicole could hear the roaring of the fire, and then she heard the screams of terror, and then there were taunting laughs. Despite the change of sounds, there was always one thing that never changed: the burning red eyes.

"I told you I'd bring you with me." Bartholomew chuckled from somewhere just beyond her sight. "You will always belong to me... Heart, mind, and soul!"

Nicole clasped her hands over her ears to block out the vile laughter, but it was echoing inside her head. She could hear Samuel's laugh mixing in with Bartholomew's, and she felt like she was back with them all over again. Was this even a dream? Is she really falling down to Hell? Did she even escape? Nicole's back collided with the ground, and she groaned as she slowly turned herself onto her front.

A pair of feet stood before her face, and When she looked up, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she said, "Bobo?"

"The one and only," Bobo grinned, crouching down until he was nearly eye level with Nicole.

"What are you doing in my dream? Why am I here?" she questioned, those being the main questions burning on the tip of her tongue.

"That's the difference between Heaven and Hell, Haught... Everyone has their very own special place in Hell, but you have to earn your way into Heaven." drawled Bobo as he stared curiously at her. It was always refreshing to see a new one in the sea of faces.

"Where's your 'special place'?" Nicole bit back with a frown.

"My place is the throne, Haught, where's yours?"

Bobo stood back as Nicole unsteadily pushed herself back to her feet. Her body felt like she had been run over by a semi truck, and she was so exhausted that she found that she really could fall asleep anywhere - even in Hell. However, she couldn't fall asleep, not with the damn red eyes staring into her, and certainly not with Bartholomew and Samuel whispering inside her brain.

"I won't end up here... I'm not like _any_ of you." growled Nicole, her fists clenching by her side. Bobo laughed heartily, and pulled a mirror from the pocket inside his big furry coat.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked cryptically, presenting the mirror to Nicole, and she gasped at her eyes - They were blazing a fiery crimson.

"No," she whispered in horror, throwing the mirror to the ground and stomping on the shards of glass until they were nothing but dust. "I can't be a revenant, I _won't!_ "

"You think I came down here and expected to become one?" countered Bobo sardonically. "Hell no, but the afterlife is just as much of a bitch as real life."

"I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming..." Nicole repeated over and over again while she slipped into madness.

"No, this is a warning." Bobo interrupted her slow descent into insanity. "You better hope Wynonna breaks this curse because if she doesn't, I will be back... Bartholomew and Samuel will be back, and we will be coming for you and Waverly. You will always be tied to Bartholomew."

"Don't talk about her!" shouted Nicole, her vision suddenly blurring.

"I'm interested to see if you two last long enough for me to return, and I'm always interested in a good bet." grinned Bobo, his eyes burning a hole through her insides.

"You're wrong," Nicole snapped unconvincingly.

"Sounds like someone is unsure of themselves... Are you afraid she'll leave you for the next pair of abs with some douche haircut?"

"Shut up." hissed Nicole, her voice wavering.

"Does that break your heart, Haught? Does it _burn_ it?" Bobo taunted as he placed his palm over her heart and the carved heart.

The burning sensation that erupted on the flesh where he touched was quick and sudden, and Nicole yelped as she jumped away. Bartholomew was laughing louder inside her ears, and it felt like the white-hot blade was pressing against her all over again. She fell to her knees while clawing at her chest. Bobo was laughing maniacally over her, and he placed his boot on her shoulder. Nicole could do nothing as he gently led her down with his foot, and she stared up at him in horror.

"I'll be seeing you around, Haught... Enjoy this time away while you can, and give my regards to Waverly before she breaks your heart."

...

"Baby girl, it's been two days now... Don't you think you should head home and clean yourself up? Maybe get something to eat?" suggested Wynonna carefully. Waverly was still mad at her, and she wasn't interested in receiving another slap.

" _No,_ " replied Waverly sharply, her hand holding Nicole's gently, careful of the bandages around her wrist. "She begged me not to leave her."

Wynonna shuffled from foot to foot as she peered over at the sleeping Nicole. To her, the pleading sounded awfully desperate, like there was more meaning to it. There were two things that she was sure of: the desperation went right over Waverly's head, and Nicole was never going to be the same person she was before.

"Waves, I don't think she meant for you to stay by her side twenty-four seven." started Wynonna slowly. "In some kidnappings, the captor abuses them mentally and emotionally, too."

"Are you suggesting that they used _me_ to torment her?" gasped Waverly, horrified at the prospect of being used to hurt Nicole.

"It would explain why she couldn't look you in the eye." Wynonna pointed out begrudgingly, her anger towards Bartholomew and Samuel rising.

Waverly gawked at Nicole's sleeping figure. Her heart dropped down to her feet. She felt as though the ground was going to swallow her whole. The air was thinning out, and she couldn't quite catch her breath. Waverly released Nicole's hand like she was burned, and she was out of the chair before her brain could catch up with her feet. Luckily, Wynonna could read the signs of someone who was about to run, and she caught her sister by the waist.

"C'mon, let's get you to the restroom." whispered Wynonna as she carefully led Waverly into the room's bathroom.

Wynonna reached behind her back to close the door, but kept one arm around Waverly's waist as she cried into her shoulder. The fact that she herself was causing Nicole emotional pain was too much for her at the moment, and she broke beneath the weight of the pressure. Wynonna rubbed circles on her back, but pulled back after some time.

"Waverly, I know it must come as a shock to you, but you need to be strong for Nicole... Do you understand?" she said seriously, and when Waverly nodded, she repeated herself. "Do you understand, Waverly? You might be hurting by this, but it's Nicole who has the right to break, and it might sting to hear, but you need to pull yourself together."

"I'm trying to," insisted Waverly, fresh tears coming.

"Try harder, baby girl," Wynonna said with a little force. "You're my sister, and I love you more than anything, but I care about Nicole too, and she deserves to fall apart knowing someone is there to put her back together, and you can't help her if you aren't fully together yourself."

"I'm going to be there for her, Wynonna!" Waverly defended herself.

"You can't help her if you're always going to give her sad eyes that clearly show her how guilty you feel. Do you think that would make her feel any better?" questioned Wynonna rhetorically. "It wouldn't make you feel better, it'd make you feel like crap."

"She's my girlfriend, how can you expect me to _not_ feel sad?" snapped Waverly.

"I'm not asking you to be ecstatic, of course you feel sad! I'm just telling you to hide that from her until she can handle it." Wynonna countered lowly, trying to ease the tension that suddenly filled the room.

"Do you really think that's the best idea?" asked Waverly, suddenly feeling uneasy. "She'll probably feel like we don't care all thanks to your stupid idea!" Another smack hit Wynonna's sore arm. _Ouch!_

"We saved her! That's what matters right now!"

"Her mental state was already fragile, Wynonna!" hissed Waverly. "You heard her, she was practically pleading for death!"

"You don't think I'm aware of that?" Wynonna barked gruffly. "It killed me to hear her justify all the reasons why we should have killed her!"

"Well, Dolls didn't have to chime in with the whole "Don't take it personal" act! Did you see her face? I could see how much it hurt her even though she wouldn't show it!" Waverly clapped back, unaware that she was now shouting.

"Would you rather her be dead right now? Because you're certainly acting like it!" yelled Wynonna.

The silence that followed was almost as heavy as the situation they were in. Waverly was gaping at her, stunned that her sister would even suggest that she would want Nicole dead, let alone insinuate that she did. Wynonna stared back at Waverly, internally cringing at her words, but not taking them back either. Neither of them dared breath until Waverly choked out a half-sob, half-scoff.

"Wow... Okay."

She couldn't even look at Wynonna anymore, and she pushed her out of the way so she could leave the bathroom. Wynonna let her go without so much as looking back at her. She caught sight of her reflection, and scowled at it.

"All you seem capable of doing is hurting your family." she spat at her reflection before she left the bathroom too.

 Doc stood awkwardly in the corner having heard what was said while the two sisters were in a shouting match. He was torn between who to side with. He could agree with Waverly seeing as he wasn't let in on the little plan Wynonna and Dolls had planned alone _together._ The shock and panic had worn off, and now he was a little miffed about being led to believe that Miss Haught was about to meet her doom before his eyes. He had come to appreciate her presence, and it would have wounded him to say goodbye.

That being said, he also knew where Wynonna was coming from when she didn't explain the plan to Waverly. Bartholomew and Samuel were aware of the relationship between Nicole and Waverly, so her reactions were required to be spot on, and that couldn't have been achieved as perfectly without her being led to believe that her girlfriend was about to be murdered. It was a cruel thing to put her through, but Miss Haught's life was in her reactions.

"If I may so bold as to cast in my opinion-" started Doc.

"It won't help." "Not right now, Doc." Wynonna and Waverly said simultaneously.

"You are both wrong, and you are both right." Doc said anyway, and continued when he received two perplexed looks. "Wynonna, as a person who was fooled by your plan as well, I can tell you that Waverly is just hurt and still a little frightened by the thought of you ordering Miss Haught to her death. That was a cruel trick. Waverly, you must understand that the revenants knew perfectly well about the relationship you two have, and you had to be convincing."

"I could have!" hissed Waverly, but Doc held up his hand to stop her.

"Bartholomew was many things, a monster being one of them, but one thing he was not was a fool. Any trick you would have played, he would have seen right through, so can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you could have put on a perfect performance that would have tricked him when he has obsessed over this plan for some time now?" countered Doc knowingly.

Waverly sat silently, guilt swirling in her gut for giving Wynonna such a hard time, but damn it! How else could she have reacted? She was sure that she was justified at being angered, but Doc's words were getting through to her. Wynonna rubbed the back of her neck. Perhaps telling Waverly to basically suck it up wasn't the best thing for her to hear at the moment. Both sisters felt remorse, but neither felt woman enough to apologize first. They were saved from saying anything by the spike of Nicole's pulse racing across the monitor.

"Go get the nurse!" Waverly said, but Wynonna was already out the door to go get a doctor, and a minute later, she returned with an uncomfortable one. Wynonna clearly threatened him about five times in the span of reaching the room.

"She's having a nightmare." remarked the doctor as he checked her vitals and shined a light in her eyes. They were moving rather rapidly when her eyelids closed again.

"Can you help her?" Waverly asked impatiently.

"I can only help her body, not her mind." the doctor said shrewdly.

"If you even say the word 'therapist' I will shoot you with my big ass gun." warned Wynonna irately. She's been sent to enough of those to know that unloading demon theories onto them will earn yourself a ticket to the nuthouse.

"She can either work her way through it or wake up, it's up to her, but I am a little concerned by the fever she's running." muttered the doctor thoughtfully when he felt her forehead. "She wasn't running a temperature this high earlier, the nightmare must be causing distress."

"I find that nightmares tend to do that." said Doc sarcastically.

"I'll call in a nurse to give her something to calm her while taking down the fever." the doctor informed, ignoring Doc's comment.

Once the doctor left, Waverly reclaimed Nicole's hand, and held it carefully between hers. She was all too aware at how clammy they were, but she began to worry when her girlfriend's hand started to burn. Nicole's head tossed and turned on the pillow, and her mouth was twisted in pain. Waverly shot up out of the chair, and caressed Nicole's head with her free hand as cautiously as she could without causing any more aches.

"Nicole? It's just a nightmare, sweetheart... Wake up." she called soothingly, her fingertips ghosting across her cheek.

As if she heard Waverly, Nicole's eyes flew open, but stared unseeingly up at the ceiling. They were wide with fright, and her mouth was moving like she was saying something, but no words were coming out. Her hand ripped out of Waverly's grasp, and flew to her chest. She began clawing at the skin, but the gauze was preventing any damage. Doc bolted forward, and grabbed Nicole's hand before he forced it down onto the bed as gently as he could (which wasn't that gentle).

"Get someone back in here." ordered Doc wildly.

A nurse stepped into the room with a tray in her hands, but froze at the scene before her. When the doctor told her Miss Haught needed something to calm down, she hadn't expected to walk in on a cowboy almost lying on top of the patient. She sat down the tray quickly, and filled a syringe with morphine.

"Hold her arm still." commanded the nurse, and injected the morphine into Nicole's system. It took a minute, but her eyes sagged heavily as they looked around the room.

"I'll go get the restraints." commented the nurse breathlessly.

"No!" shouted Waverly in a wobbly voice. She was frightened by Nicole's reaction.

"I do not think that would be wise." warned Doc. "She was tied down with barbed wire by her captors, and it would undoubtedly scare Miss Haught when she wakes up in them."

"Don't try to argue with us." said Wynonna when she saw the nurse open her mouth to protest. "She isn't a threat to herself or anyone else, I'm fully aware of the protocol, so don't try to tell me anything else."

"Don't tell me how to do my job, and don't tell me you know for sure she isn't a danger. She went through serious trauma, and it's always an option, and seeing as she already tried to attack herself, it is my job to protect her and everyone surrounding her." snapped the nurse heatedly. "I will return shortly with restraints."

Wynonna glared after the nurse while giving her the finger, and Waverly was hovering over the much calmer Nicole. She stroked her cheek, and tried to give her a comforting smile. She would try putting aside her own emotions for the time being like Wynonna suggested.

"Nicole, where were you, baby?" she whispered after she kissed Nicole right above her eye. Nicole blinked, and turned to look Waverly right in her eye.

"Hell, with all the other revenants."

"It was just a dream, Nic, they can't hurt you anymore. I won't let them." said Waverly with so much conviction that Nicole's doped up mind had no choice but to believe her.

"They'll get you and me, Waverly... Bobo said they would, and I have my own special place in Hell. And Bartholomew... He's stuck inside my head, I can hear him laughing... He will never leave me alone." whispered Nicole before she slipped back into unconsciousness.

Waverly, Wynonna, and Doc stared at her in shock. They soon glanced at each other uneasily.

"Baby girl, there is more to this than we originally thought." grumbled Wynonna. "Is this really necessary?!"

The nurse was back, and ignored everyone's protests as she restrained Nicole.

"She'll hurt herself when she wakes up fighting! Her wrists are already injured!" Waverly fought.

"Visiting hours are over." snapped the nurse, and security stood in the doorway just in case they were required, and they were.

"This is so not allowed!"

"You can't take me away from her now! She'll panic even more when she wakes up and sees me not here!"

"I do reckon that this should be a fair fight, so draw your gun and I'll draw mine."

The trio was kicked out of the hospital, and all three of them were furious about it.

"What a bunch of dicks!" Wynonna shouted at security's backs.

"There's something not right about Nicole's dream, and I'm going to go find out the best way I know how." exclaimed Waverly with her hands on her hips. She finally found the strength to put on a brave face, and do everything she can to help her girlfriend.

"To the library," muttered Doc and Wynonna at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sounds like there's more than what was originally thought between Nicole and Bartholomew... He just won't let her go. Reviews are welcome, so tell me what you think.


	6. The Past Is Never Buried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bartholomew brings up Nicole's sensitive past, Sheriff Nedley and Nicole have a heart-to-heart, and Waverly might just be on her way to a breakthrough

Nicole was in darkness. There was not even a glimpse of light, and it felt like she was floating in a void. On the bright side, Nicole couldn't feel any pain. That alone made her smile, but it was fleeting when the soul-crushing reality set in that she was all alone with her thoughts, and they weren't good these days. She curled into herself, and already had her hands over her ears, ready for when Bartholomew resumed his mental attacks. Ever since her trip down to Hell, Bartholomew was always in her ear. He took shelter inside her brain, and made it his home.

" _You still think you can block me out?_ " taunted Bartholomew, startling her out of her thoughts.

He loved scaring her when she least expected it, but when did she ever _not_ expect it anymore? She was always on edge, just waiting for him to open his mouth and destroy her mind while tearing her down. Bartholomew was particularly fond of picking through her worst memories, and Nicole could always feel his glee when he made her relive it time and time again. His favorites were always from her childhood; Things she hadn't even opened up to Waverly about, and things she tried so desperately to repress.

" _How long do you think it will be before Waverly discovers how much of a let down you are?_ " remarked Bartholomew, having finished picking through her past for the time being. " _You're family believes so, do they not? A father who loved the job more than his family; A mother who had to find love from someone else when your father wouldn't, and a brother who always felt jealousy towards his sister who was always in the center of attention. A family too poor to afford three meals a day, so sometimes you would have sleep for dinner._ "

"That's enough!" shouted Nicole, her hands falling limp at her sides when she found that they weren't blocking his words out at all.

Bartholomew decided to hit her where it hurt this time bringing up her family affairs. She was always taught to keep family business within the family, and to have it all spread out before her with nowhere to unleash it to was driving her more insane than she already was. It hurt her to hear everything played back to her, and it was a great deal worse when her brother was mentioned.

Nicole was highly aware of how her brother felt, and she had cried herself to sleep so many times (because that was the only time she'd ever allow herself to break down) at the thought of her brother feeling that way, like she was the favorite child. What was worse was the fact that even though she wanted to deny it, it was true, she used to be the favorite. Her grades were good, she was somewhat popular, she played sports, and she was heading off to college while her brother was just beyond the light that was cast around her.

But the pressure got to be too much for Nicole to handle. Once she showed signs of greatness, it was expected of her, so she dared not slip in fear of everyone's pride wavering. Not only did Nicole slip, she fell and landed right onto her face in a daze. That was when she was no longer the favorite, and that position was filled by her brother. Nicole was so happy for him since she was aware of how bad he felt about himself when no one would listen to him when Nicole was around, but he shoved it back into her face.

" _Looks to me as though he wanted you to know what being nothing felt like._ " chuckled Bartholomew, watching everything for himself.

"I don't care because in the end he was happy, and that's all he ever deserved." snapped Nicole. It wounded her that her brother held resentment towards her, but it was warranted.

" _I can see that you haven't told Waverly about your childhood. Has your father drilled secrecy into you so deep that you just can't tell even your... partner?_ " drawled Bartholomew with a chuckle. " _Is that why you won't say anything? Are you holding onto any scrap of pride he could give you by keeping the secret he forced into your brain?_ "

"Leave me alone!" cried Nicole, all the fight leaving her body as his onslaught of teases and taunts were becoming too much.

" _He would be so ashamed of you if word got out about how lowly the Haughts used to live._ " teased Bartholomew. He smile victoriously when Nicole had no more responses to snap back.

" _Sorry to tell you this, dear, but I wasn't the first one to take control of your brain... Seems daddy dearest has beaten me to it._ " said Bartholomew knowingly, and it felt as though he was caressing her brain softly. " _Do not fret, Nicole... I'm willing to share your brain with him as long as I have control over your heart._ "

Fire burned at the carved heart once more, and Nicole fell into a fit of sobs. The psychological abuse mixed with the fiery prodding at her heart was too much, and all she could do was break under the pressure. She had only ever once broke under so much weight before now, but this time was becoming so much worse. She was falling lower and lower every time he spoke to her, and all she could do was endure it.

" _We can show him, Nicole. We will show him that you are more than your mistakes._ " whispered Bartholomew lowly, but it still echoed of the walls of her brain. " _Say it, Nicole... I hate him._ "

"I hate him." said Nicole monotonously, and the only light that happened to shine through the darkness was the red that burned from her dull eyes.

...

Sheriff Nedley was used to seeing some pretty crazy things while living in Purgatory - that was a given with the territory. After he received the rank of Sheriff, things got crazier from there, but he knew better than to go off and flap his jaw about anything of the sort after seeing what good it did to Wynonna. So, he kept everything under wraps because if he were to inform the town of such a sore topic of demons running around Purgatory, there were only two possible outcomes: He'd be welcomed into the crazy house with open arms and a straight jacket, or the town would descend into chaos.

That being said, he was well aware of some pretty crazy things, but seeing his new deputy tied down to a hospital bed with everything from cuts to bruises while shouting at some invisible assailant wasn't easy to watch. The moment the new (if not a little despondent) young woman stepped into the station with an odd mixture of fire and discourage shining in her eyes as she strove to prove herself, Nedley's heart went out to her.

Perhaps it was the fact that Nicole was just a couple years older than his own daughter, but there was something about her that made him a little perplexed as to why this woman flew so far from the nest. Nedley convinced himself that the reason he tried so hard to make his new deputy feel right at him in his small town was because he needed her to know everything about the place she was protecting. He swears it isn't because he feels a father-daughter connection there! No way.

But as he gazed down at his battered deputy, the rush of anger burned hotter than if their relationship was just office friendly. He took Nicole under his wing, he helped her mingle somewhat with the Purgatory residents, he fed her cat for Christ sake! He was glad he had a part in helping his deputy, and no one had to know that he felt a hint of satisfaction when he pulled the trigger as he aimed at that bastard's head.

Small whimpering brought him out of his thoughts, and Nedley began to panic when he saw Nicole thrashing in the bed. She was fighting against her restraints, and if he didn't stop her, she'd end up hurting herself more.

"Nurse!" shouted Nedley at the top of his lungs before he struggled with Nicole. "Haught! Listen to me, you need to stop fighting, there's none of those bastards here."

Nicole's eyes flew open, but they were not her usual brown ones that tended to sparkle. No, they were a harsh crimson as she glared up at Nedley. He stumbled away in shock, and turned to look at the nurse who ran in with horror.

"Miss Haught, it looks like you're awake." commented the nurse with a gentle smile that they usually reserved for patients.

"I don't like the restraints." snapped Nicole.

Nedley's eyes snapped back to look at his deputy, and was shocked when they were their usual brown again. However, there was fear in them as she tugged uselessly at the restraints one more time. It was like he had imagined the burning red eyes, but he was certain that he hadn't. And it looked like Nicole didn't have a clue that they changed either because she was more focused on trying to control her breathing before she was consumed in a panic attack.

"Miss Haught, you awoke earlier, and began clawing at yourself." informed the nurse. "This was protocol, and I apologize that it terrified you, but it was necessary, and until we can be sure that you are-"

"Take off the restraints," interrupted Nedley, flashing his badge for good measure, and ignored the gawk from the nurse.

"Why won't any of you allow me to do my job?" she snapped, her hands on her hips.

"Because the ones who care about her know about the situation she was in a hell of a lot more than you do, and we know what's best when it comes to handling her." said Nedley with just as much bite as she had. "Now take off those damn things before I do it myself, and do it gently."

The nurse complied, but had an attitude while undoing the restraints. Nicole quickly pulled her hands to her chest in fear that if she didn't withdraw fast enough, they'd tie her back down. When the nurse stormed out of the room, Nedley took his place back in the chair by her bedside. He scratched his neck awkwardly, unsure of what to say to break the silence. He wouldn't bring up the whole 'eye' thing with Nicole, but he'd certainly mention it to Waverly.

"I, uh, made sure that cat of yours was fed." said Nedley lamely.

Nicole nodded wordlessly, and turned to stare at the wall with a vacant expression on her face. Nedley fiddled with his duty belt, completely at a loss of what to say or do. In his defense, he was just as bad at comforting Chrissy, and usually left the comforting to her mother, but it appeared that no parent was here to do that for Nicole, and that made him bristle.

"Has no one informed your family? God, this hospital really-" he started, but Nicole cut him off sharply.

"The last time I was in here, I made it clear to them that whenever I'm in here, my family is not to be contacted."

The silence that followed was uncomfortable as Nicole stared into him before she looked away. In all her time in town, she never really snapped at her boss, but seeing as she went through something horrible, Nedley was more than willing to let it slide. With a heavy sigh, he leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees as he eyed Nicole with a serious look on his face. He would make sure he would get his point across... whatever his point was because he wasn't quite sure what it was yet.

"Look, Haught..." started Nedley uncertainly, but he decided to wing it... How hard could comforting a young woman be? "You take all the time you need before you come back to work."

That probably wasn't the best thing to say, but it was a safe topic to test the waters with before he dove into the tsunami. When Nicole glanced over at him with blank eyes before looking away without a word, Nedley was sure that yeah, that wasn't a great start. So he tried to take another crack at it.

"You aren't alone, Nicole, you have people around you that love you." he insisted.

"Are you aware, sheriff, that it's possible to feel alone in a crowded room?" countered Nicole monotonously. "It doesn't matter if I'm in the spotlight because no one ever really sees me anyway."

 _Okay... So it_ is _difficult to comfort a young woman_. Nedley thought to himself with a grimace. It would have been different if Nicole was a man, then he would have been on level ground, but talking about feelings and problems with a young woman was like working his way through a minefield, and he was already setting of landmines. His hand grasped at the cool metal of the rails of the hospital bed.

"I find that I prefer to be in a small group than a crowd myself." murmured Nedley gently. "And you don't need a crowd, Nicole, because you already have your small group here in Purgatory. There's more love in a group than there ever will be in a crowd."

Nicole wouldn't look at him, so he was unsure if his words were having an affect on her. However, by the clenching of her hand, he could tell that he was getting some sort of reaction from her, but he didn't know if it was a good one or not. When she spoke after some time, her voice was in a mere whisper, almost like she was uttering a secret to herself rather than talking to the other occupant of the room.

"You're different from him... He would have told me that I shouldn't feel sad... That other people have had it worse off than I did." muttered Nicole in a daze, and for a moment, Nedley really thought that Nicole was talking to herself. "He would have told me to suck it up, but not you."

"Just because others have had it worse doesn't mean you don't have the right to hurt. You shouldn't even compare your troubles to anyone else's anyways because everyone goes through something different." said Nedley strongly. "Telling you not to feel sad because others have it worse is like saying you shouldn't be happy because others have it better."

"How can I feel good knowing that I've had it better off than those other girls?" whimpered Nicole. It was the only show of emotion she had for the entire conversation.

"Don't you go starting with that, Nicole." rushed Nedley, aware that survivor's guilt would tear her apart mentally, and her mental state was already treading on a fraying line as it was. "Don't ever feel bad about surviving, you hear me?"

Nicole began sobbing into her curled fist, and Nedley threw his awkwardness to the side so he could bring his deputy into a sidehug. He might be pushing aside his awkwardness, but that didn't mean he was ready for an actual hug, and something told him that Nicole wasn't ready for that either. Her other hand grabbed at the lapels of his jacket tightly, and she leaned onto his shoulder.

"He killed so many girls." sobbed Nicole.

"We took care of those sick bastards." assured Nedley, patting her back gently.

"Who's gonna take care of the girls!" cried Nicole. "Their families are probably still holding out hope for their return, and they're never gonna go back."

"You don't have to feel any pressure on that, the boys and I will see to it that we identify every one of those girls and notify their families." he insisted, but Nicole wasn't feeling any better.

"Just because we sent Bartholomew and Samuel away doesn't mean there aren't others like them."

"That's why you're there to help when you're feeling up to it. You, Wynonna, Waverly, Dolls, and that cowboy of y'alls are making a difference here in Purgatory." said Nedley fiercely. "We need you, Nicole."

"You're different... so much different." whispered Nicole, and Nedley pretended he hadn't heard her.

He had a feeling he knew exactly who she was talking about, and then some things started making sense. He now understood why Nicole so desperately tried to prove herself day in and day out in everything she did. He understood why she took her failures to heart, and despite insisting that everything was okay, she would still berate herself until the next day was over. He finally understood why Nicole landed herself right in Purgatory, so far away from home. It was because what she left behind was barely a home at all.

But Nedley would show Nicole that her work was appreciated. He'd let her out in the field more when she was working on his force rather than the Black Badge Division so she could prove herself more. He'd compliment her achievements more, and maybe buy her a drink for her mistakes. Whatever it took, he'd show her that she was a good human being, and that the people who cared most about her saw her for her, and not just her mistakes.

"Don't be afraid to show how down you are because there are so many arms reaching for you at the bottom." said Nedley, but Nicole was already asleep.

...

"Have you found anything yet?" whined Wynonna, her voice muffled by the book lying across her face.

"No, and we'll _all_ be here until we find something." snapped Waverly, her temper rising more easily by her lack of results.

They had been cooped up in the library for about three hours now, and Wynonna had been restless after the first five minutes. She usually left the research to her super smart sister while she went on the frontlines with guns doing the talking for her. In this case however, there was no physical enemy she could fight, so all she could do was assist her sister with the help of Doc and Dolls.

"We've probably searched through every relevant book, and we aren't getting any closer!" wailed Wynonna, throwing her arms over her head.

"So we're going to stay here however long it takes until we do." hissed Waverly, her patience for Wynonna dwindling.

"Perhaps when Miss Haught mentioned that Bartholomew was inside her head, she meant there was a connection between them." remarked Doc thoughtfully. "And she did react violently towards it when she awoke."

"So what are you suggesting we do about it?" drawled Wynonna, but Waverly looked so excited that she could have kissed Doc (but she'd leave that to her sister).

"Doc! You're a genius!" cried Waverly before she darted back behind a tall bookshelf.

"Well, I do try." replied Doc with a pleased smile.

When Waverly returned, she slammed a thick book onto the table, and for a moment, Wynonna was afraid that the legs would give out beneath the weight. Waverly flipped through a few hundred pages before she came to a halt and began reading quietly to herself. Wynonna and Doc glanced at each other, shrugging in unison, and then the youngest Earp gasped.

"What is it, baby girl?" Wynonna asked fearfully. She thought nothing could possibly get worse.

"We have to sever the connection between them." whispered Waverly grimly.

"Meaning?"

"We have to cut the carved heart."

_Oh... It did get worse._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A father figure Nedley is always the best in my book.


	7. Is That You Or Him Talking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little insight on what Bobo and Bartholomew has got planned, an unhappy Wayhaught+Wynonna reunion, and an unexpected enemy is revealed

Bobo was thoroughly at his wits end. He had stalked through Hell before, and when he clawed his way out of the inferno that had his soul shaking, he vowed to himself that he would never be sent back. Yet there he was, and he was far from happy about it. He had enough of those Earps, and he wanted revenge.

"Willa, you bitch," growled Bobo to himself as he paced back and forth.

He was not one to forget, and he sure as hell wasn't one to forgive. Bobo was more of a relive and resent kind of man, and he remembered vividly how Willa was so content to just leave him behind to the fate of her sister. He wasn't sure what happened to Willa after Wynonna blasted her, and quite frankly, he didn't give two shits anymore, not when he was just the scum on the bottom of her boot.

He would certainly have a field day when he rose from Hell the next time around. He'd appreciate being on Earth more, and he'd live just a little bit wilder. He'd bone every hot chick he'd happen to come across (without picturing Willa's face anymore), and he wouldn't hold back to feed his desire that only human flesh and blood could satiate. Bobo would show everyone that despite being trapped in Purgatory, he wasn't in chains, and the world would be his.

He was torn from his reverie by the cackle that came from Bartholomew. Bobo had certainly grown an interest in Bartholomew and his little "project" (if possessing a helpless woman could be called that), and he had his own ideas to throw into the mix. See, Bartholomew was just tormenting Nicole for amusement, but no, Bobo saw the potential in what he was doing.

"How are you coming along with her?" he questioned curiously as he stopped his pacing to step closer to Bartholomew.

"I am succeeding with her." grinned Bartholomew smugly. "Not that I had any doubts, of course! I knew what I was doing when I created a backup plan!"

"Yeah, plan B's are always a must." muttered Bobo absentmindedly. "How long do you think a full possession will take? You know I'm not a very patient man, Bartholomew."

The warning in his tone was not lost on Bartholomew, and he gulped. Many thought that there wasn't a fate worse than Hell, but they hadn't experienced Hell with Bobo. Bobo could certainly make his life... well, a living Hell (no pun intended). He straightened his spine until he was at full height, but refused to look Bobo in the eye.

"I have made progress, and I have been capable of catching glimpses through her eyes." informed Bartholomew nervously. "I suppose it shouldn't take me long to have full control over her body."

"Excellent," said Bobo, pleased that it wouldn't be too much longer now. "The sooner we get rid of Wynonna, the sooner we get to go back."

"Not to worry, Bobo," assured Bartholomew quickly. "with Miss Haught, I shall get her."

"I'm looking forward to that because us revenants are going to have some fun giving her a big welcome down here." grinned Bobo wickedly before he turned away from Bartholomew.

_I can almost taste her._

...

Nedley hadn't left Nicole's side since their talk despite the nurses and doctors telling him that it was time to leave. One of the many perks of having the sheriff's badge was that all it took was one flash (or in this case several), and there was no lip from anybody. But when he heard the furious voices of the two Earp sisters, he quickly rushed from the room before they tied his hands by giving him a reason to book them.

"I am her girlfriend, and I will see her whenever I damn well please!" shouted Waverly, her cheeks flushed in anger.

"Yeah, she's practically family!" agreed Wynonna fiercely, already pushing her way through the nurses that barricaded their path to Nicole's room.

""Practically" doesn't mean you can go against regulations!" snapped the same nurse who had gotten on everyone's nerves at least once.

"Nurse Stevens, this girl in here doesn't have any family with her, and you know well enough that no one is comin' for her." said Nedley, his patience running dry for the staff at the hospital. "These girls are all the family Miss Haught needs, and you are well aware that everyone is family in Purgatory, so why don't you just let these girls through." It wasn't a question, but a demand.

"Or else you'll flash your badge at me again?" sneered nurse Stevens before she gave up. This case was certainly a thorn in her side.

Waverly and Wynonna cast him bemused looks, but he waved it off until they were out of earshot. Once the trio reached the door to Nicole's room, Nedley held his arm across the doorway to block off entrance. With a careful glance back to assure himself that Nicole was fast asleep, he turned back to face the agitated Earp girls.

"Where were you two?" he questioned seriously. He hadn't meant to sound like he was interrogating them, but Nicole could have been hurt far worse had he not been there so she wasn't alone.

"The library,"

"None of your business,"

The two Earps turned to glare at each other for a moment before they turned back to face the perplexed Nedley, which, in Wynonna's opinion, was the only look the sheriff ever really wore. But that wasn't the point as of right now.

"Nicole certainly panicked when she woke up to find herself tied down to the bed." said Nedley, watching Waverly's expression like a hawk, and he didn't miss the guilt and horror that crossed her face.

"Is she alright? I told them not to restrain her! I was just looking for research that can help her, oh god, was she mad that I wasn't here? Was she hurt? I couldn't live with myself if she-" Waverly rambled quickly before Nedley decided to cut the poor girl some slack by interrupting her.

"Other than looking like a scared, cornered cat, she's... fine." said Nedley, unsure. Nothing about Nicole was fine if her little episode was anything to go by, but he had a feeling that Waverly wasn't fully aware of his deputy's past, and he'd be damned if he went around telling Nicole's secrets without her consent. "But there was something that I think is up the Black Badge Division's alley."

"Please tell me it's doughnuts." pleaded Wynonna, her stomach growling at the thought.

"When Nicole woke up, her eyes were red like those bastards'." said Nedley grimly. "It was only for a moment, but I know I saw it."

"This is worse than a stupid connection." spat Wynonna angrily. "This is a goddamn possession!"

"I need to see her." whispered Waverly, her voice strangled as she ducked under the sheriff's arm.

"Waverly," started Nedley, effectively getting her attention. "You are capable of doing many things, but don't let one of those things be breaking her heart."

"I don't think I could ever do that, Sheriff... It would kill me." insisted Waverly seriously, and after a moment he nodded, satisfied with her answer.

"Good, now you two do what y'all do best, and get this bastard out of my deputy." said Nedley before he tapped the brim of his hat, and took this as his cue to leave.

Wynonna watched his back as he left. She held resentment towards him for so long. For each and every time Wynonna was busted by the law growing up, Nedley was the one to close the handcuffs around her wrists. She could still feel the cool metal to this day. However, before she learned to keep the word 'demon' out of her mouth, every officer would scoff in either amusement or irritation, but never Nedley. He would still arrest her, but he'd never disagree like the others. So for the time being, she wasn't sure what she felt towards the sheriff, but it wasn't the burning hostility it was before.

When Wynonna walked into the room, she expected to find Waverly sitting in the chair beside the bed. Instead, she was lying right beside Nicole, who was gazing around blearily, and was holding her gently. Waverly was whispering sweet nothings into her girlfriend's ear as she stroked Nicole's arm with her fingertips.

"Waverly?" croaked Nicole.

"I'm right here, baby, and I'm not going anywhere." swore Waverly, peppering soft kisses to Nicole's temple.

" _Where was she earlier?_ " whispered Bartholomew.

"You weren't here before." accused Nicole, her eyes narrowing, and it chipped a crack into Waverly's heart.

"I was researching a way to sever your tie with Bartholomew." she insisted forlornly.

Nicole relaxed, seeming to accept the answer, but Bartholomew wasn't as accepting as she was, and wasn't about to let Nicole believe her.

" _She's lying to you... If she would have cared enough, she'd have been by your side no matter what._ " hissed Bartholomew into her ear.

"I don't believe you." snapped Nicole, retreating from Waverly's grasp.

"But-"started Waverly, her voice hitching, but Wynonna cut her off.

"Is that you talking, Haughtpants, or Bartholomew?"

" _Wynonna shouldn't even have the right to speak to you._ " said Bartholomew in disgust. " _How can she even look at you when she was going to let you die?_ "

"I don't want you here." hissed Nicole, glaring at Wynonna, and Wynonna glared right back.

"Now, Haughtstuff, I know you don't mean that... Bartholomew is just making you say these things." she countered, her hand reaching for Peacemaker on instinct.

" _Do not let her speak to you like that!_ " barked Bartholomew furiously. " _How can she act like she cares about you when you clearly weren't good enough to save?_ "

Nicole's hands gripped her head, a headache forming as his words bounced off her brain's walls. She was trying to fight against him, she really was, but for some reason, everything he was saying was making sense. Her breathing was shallow, but when she looked back to Wynonna, her eyes were glowing red.

" _You are not allowed to even look a me! You were going to let me die!_ " shrieked Nicole, but her voice was much deeper than usual.

Wynonna took a step back in shock, and Waverly shrunk away to get away from Nicole. Her girlfriend held her head in her hands again, and she was whimpering. When she looked back up, her eyes were back to normal, but there was fear and tears shining in them.

"Please," sobbed Nicole. "Help me get him out of my head, out of my body."

"NURSE!" bellowed Wynonna, her eyes never leaving the shaking form of Nicole.

Nurse Stevens strolled in with a roll of her eyes, but stopped short when her eyes landed on the patient.

"We're gonna need those restraints back." muttered Wynonna. "I'm sorry Nicole, but seeing how bad it is, we can't trust you while he's inside your mind and body." The way she said her name let Nicole realize how sincere her apology and explanation was.

Nurse Stevens returned shortly, restraints in her hands, and a smug look on her face. All she was trying to do was her job, and it was about damn time that they let her do just that, and it felt good that they realized how right she was. Once she was gone again, Waverly was back to leaning over Nicole, and was stroking her face and neck.

"I love you, Nicole." stated Waverly sincerely. "I love you so damn much."

And then she brought their lips into a bruising kiss, and despite the split lip, Nicole returned the kiss wholeheartedly even though Bartholomew was hissing and spitting in her ear. Everything Waverly was overwhelming her senses, and when Waverly pulled back to give her that look that made Nicole feel like the luckiest woman in the world, it wasn't that hard to tune out Bartholomew. When Waverly whispered the phrase "I love you" over and over again into her ear as she kissed her all over her face, Nicole couldn't care less about the hateful words Bartholomew was shouting at her.

"I love you." whispered Nicole, and moaned softly into the kiss that Waverly gave her in response.

"Dudes, I'm right here, and if I had anything in my stomach, it'd be all over the floor right now." whined Wynonna in disgust, but it was all in good nature. "Which reminds me, neither of you have eaten anything, so I'll be right back with some food."

Neither of the women were listening, too busy sending heart eyes to each other, and Wynonna would never admit to it, but the display made her smile. After releasing a sigh when she realized that she wasn't going to receive a response, Wynonna turned on her heel to leave the room. There were probably more "regulations" on whether or not you could bring outside food to a patient, but she couldn't care less. Nicole had endured something traumatic, so she deserved to eat something nice damn it! Wynonna sent a wink in nurse Stevens' direction, and chuckled at the angered glare that was sent back.

" _Stop!_ " hissed Bartholomew, but Nicole was putting a lot more effort into ignoring him in favor of spending time with her girlfriend. " _She'll leave you! It's inevitable!_ "

"Shut up!" snapped Nicole in a whisper, but Waverly was immediately on high alert.

"We need to get him out of your head." she said urgently, but tentatively. "There is a way, but I don't think you'll like it very much because I don't like it very much, so I'm sorry in advance because you know I never want to hurt you, but it's the only way, but I'm sorry I can't find any other-"

"Waverly," interrupted Nicole with a frown. "Just tell me, I'll do anything."

" _You can't get rid of me that easily!_ " snarled Bartholomew.

The carved heart began to burn like if Nicole had fallen onto a burning stove top. A strangled shriek forced its way out of her clenched teeth, and her fingers were digging into the sheets by her side. Waverly jumped away in fright, unsure what to do for her, but the option was made when nurse Stevens and the doctor came rushing into the room when her monitor went blaring loudly.

"Get her out of the room!" shouted the doctor. and nurse Stevens did as she was told, but not gently.

Waverly could only watch in horror as she was being drug out of the room, and was still gaping when the nurse left her in the waiting room. Several of the townspeople who were waiting to be seen by a doctor offered her a wave and a smile, but Waverly couldn't bring herself to do either back. How could she when the source of her smile and happiness was currently thrashing around in pain? She wasn't aware of the tears falling down her cheeks until a hand landed on her shoulder.

Dolls gave her a grim face while Doc stood to the side while fiddling with his hat to give his hands something to do. Waverly pushed herself into Dolls' arms, and he patted her once on the back as a friendly gesture. Doc stepped forward to pat her as well, and was startled when Waverly pulled him into a hug as well. Everyone surrounding the three could clearly see how uncomfortable the two men were as they sandwiched Waverly in between themselves.

"We never speak of this." ordered Dolls monotonously as he tried to pull away enough so that his and Doc's faces weren't so close.

"My thoughts exactly, Marshal." agreed Doc awkwardly, but rubbed Waverly's arm comfortingly.

"We're going to sever the connection soon." said Waverly authoritatively. "The second we can get her out of here, we're getting him out of her head."

...

The doctor was gone, positive that his patient was unconscious and stable for the moment. However, nurse Stevens remained behind, claiming that she wanted to keep an eye on Miss Haught for a moment longer. The second she was sure she was alone, she walked up to the side of the patient's bed, and pinched the tube that was dripping a steady stream of morphine into her veins. After a few minutes, Nicole's eyes opened, but they were red.

"Please tell me this plan you told me about isn't going to be much longer." snarled nurse Stevens, her eyes burning crimson, and her voice deeper. Nicole smiled up at her.

" _Things are progressing quite nicely thanks to you giving her more drugs than called for_." complimented Bartholomew, twisting Nicole's lips into a grin that looked out of place on such a sweet face. " _I find that I'm more capable of taking over when she can't fight back._ "

"Hurry it along then!" hissed Stevens, finally letting go of the morphine tube. "I can't have you exposing me to those damn Earps so I'll be sent back to Hell when we're so close. You need to think more about this plan of yours, so why don't you sleep on it."

Nurse Stevens stalked out of the room just as Nicole's eyes sagged shut once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nurse Stevens was a bitch from the beginning, and now we see why. How much of a plot twist was that? Not that much? Also, it's always team Doc or team Dolls, but where's team Wynonna? I'm keeping her single for this fic because she can do bad all on her own (although, I'm so team Doc, he's such an adorable puppy sometimes).


	8. Taking Over Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Nicole" is discharged from the hospital with some help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To keep from causing any sort of confusion, italic words will be when Bartholomew is speaking in his deep voice, like when the revenants get that deeper voice when they go all 'demon-y', and when they aren't in italics, that'll be when Nicole's speaking in her normal voice, but she's still possessed. Also, figuring out the correct pronouns to use to when a woman is possessed by a man is hard and makes a person irrationally angry to the point where they contemplate giving up.

The clock that hung on the wall ticked every second away. It was a funny thing how the sound was so easy to ignore and overlook when someone was busy, but when all you have is your thoughts and silence, the faint _tick_ becomes an explosion that reverberates through the silence. After three hundred ticks (Nicole kept track of each and every one), and with no doctors or nurses coming into the room, Nicole threw back the sheets covering the bottom half of her body.

When Waverly meekly returned to the room earlier, Nicole was awake, and had insisted on Waverly returning to the Homestead to get some rest. The couple got into a slight argument when Waverly had insisted on staying by Nicole's side, but the officer was quick to silence her with a kiss that left her dazed. It hadn't weakened her resolve however, so Nicole glanced down beside herself where Waverly was currently curled up, fast asleep.

Trying her hardest to stay silent as to not wake the other woman, Nicole slipped out of bed. She paused to unplug the heart monitor so it wouldn't go crazy when she'd pull the clip off her finger, and then she carefully pulled out her IV. Nurse Stevens crept in once Waverly was asleep to unfasten the restraints, and Nicole couldn't have been happier. Once she was certain that she was free of any wire, Nicole leaned over the railing of the hospital bed, and planted a kiss on Waverly's forehead.

" _It'll all be over soon, darling._ " husked Bartholomew with a chuckle before he straightened Nicole's spine.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?!" hissed Stevens, her cheeks colored in rage, and a satchel dangling from her arm.

" _Am I not allowed to kiss my lover goodbye?_ " Bartholomew quipped with a grin, but Stevens wasn't amused in the slightest.

"You stupid son of a bitch, don't ruin this for us!" she snapped aggressively. "Bobo won't be pleased when he finds out you've been gambling his escape because you wanted to have fun."

" _And if you fucking tell him a damn thing, I'll send you right into Wynonna._ " Bartholomew whisper-shouted. " _She thinks I'm Nicole, so she will believe whatever I tell her, that oblivious bitch._ "

"She might be oblivious, but you have to admit that she isn't stupid." drawled Stevens bitterly.

" _No matter,_ " said Bartholomew, waving her off; " _I'll fool her long enough for it to be a right surprise when I literally and metaphorically_ _stab her in the back._ "

"You're a real catch." sneered Stevens with a curled lip.

" _Waverly sure thinks so._ " joked Bartholomew, weaving Nicole's fingers through her hair, but grimaced when the fingers caught on a couple tangles. " _Just do your job and get me released from here._ "

"I took the liberty of being the smart one by getting you fresh clothes." snarled Stevens, reaching into her satchel, and throwing pieces of garments into Nicole's hands. "We can't have you running around in nothing but a damn hospital gown."

Bartholomew begrudgingly made Nicole take the clothes, and went into the bathroom to change, although he got a little caught up in admiring Nicole's body with perverted eyes. He was interrupted by one sharp knock on the door, and before Bartholomew knew it, he was signing discharge papers at the front desk with nurse Stevens giving Nicole information with a false smile. Nicole scrawled one last sloppy signature, and offered the papers to the pudgy woman.

"Have a great day!" exclaimed Nicole loudly with a wide smile as she began walking backwards.

"I hope you feel better Officer Haught." called nurse Stevens with a smile, but her eyes shone with hatred and annoyance.

Nicole stepped onto the platform that opened the sliding doors, and offered a few friendly townspeople a wave or a polite smile. She suddenly paused for a moment, and then she went back into the hospital. Nurse Stevens looked up when she stepped up to the front desk, and she scowled darkly before she caught herself. She forced a smile.

"What can I help you with, Officer Haught?" she questioned through clenched teeth.

" _Where do I live?_ " whispered Bartholomew, leaning onto the surface of the desk, not caring about the paperwork that was crumpling underneath Nicole's body.

"Seriously?" snapped Stevens, her voice tight. "You researched everything down to a point, but you failed to figure out where she lives?"

Nicole shrugged, and smiled when Stevens turned to skim through files while muttering under her breath. Before too much time passed, the nurse slapped a piece of paper onto the top of the desk, and went back to typing away on her keyboard without so much as a glance her way. Nicole bowed her head in thanks before she was back out the door, and was heading in the direction of the address that was on the paper.

...

The door gave way and splintered, and Nicole fell to the floor with a groan. With no key and a locked door, it was all she could think to do to get inside, and she was really regretting it the second she was sprawled out on the floor.

" _Perhaps Samuel and I had overdone it,_ " whimpered Bartholomew before he hoisted Nicole to her feet.

Before he could turn Nicole's head around, sharp claws were digging into Nicole's leg. She yelped, startled by the sting, and glanced down to find a cat glaring up at her. The feline's ear flicked, and her whiskers twitched before she arched her back with a hiss.

"Easy there... kitty." soothed Nicole, momentarily forgetting what her cat's name was.

The cat wasn't having any of it, and was climbing up Nicole's leg in the matter of seconds. The claws were digging into her thigh, and it was all Nicole could do to refrain herself from ripping the cat off, and flinging it right out the window. Instead, she waddled over to the open door of the bedroom, and shook the cat off before slamming the door shut. The wails, hisses, and the scratching on the door were promptly ignored.

Nicole stalked to the kitchen, not quite sure what she was looking for, but was too restless to sit still anywhere. She drummed her fingers against the bar while her eyes scanned over anything and everything. There was a yellow note stuck to the fridge, and she bounded over in anticipation. Her hope deflated instantly when it was just a grocery list, so she ripped it apart in anger. The incessant ticking of the clock on Nicole's wall began to get on her nerves.

The irritation and fury that scorched through her body was sudden and fierce, and it also wasn't her own. Bartholomew wanted to speed the process along so badly, that he failed to plan this far ahead. He had no idea where Wynonna was, and he didn't even have Nicole's phone, let alone Wynonna's phone number. A harsh scream of anger ripped from Nicole's throat, and she wasn't fully aware when her hands clasped around the clock. She barely even heard the shattering of the glass as it collided with the wall.

All she did know was that it felt satisfying to break something, so she went and did it again. And again. And again. Books were scattered all over the floor as she turned over the bookshelf onto the glass table placed in front of the couch. The piercing sound of glass breaking bounced off the walls, and it was mixed with Nicole's maniac laughter. She blinked, and suddenly her fist was through the wall. When she retracted her stinging hand, her knuckles were bloodied, and there was a gaping hole in the wall.

A shrill ring cut through the air, and Nicole nearly broke her neck when she snapped her head over to the ringing phone that was sitting on the charger on the island. Within seconds, she was standing in front of the phone, and she held it up to her ear.

"Hello?" she whispered suspiciously. _Who the hell would be calling when everyone she knew thought she was in the hospital?_

"Uhm, Miss Haught?" questioned a heavily accented voice. "I can hear noises coming from your apartment, and I just wanted to check up on you."

"Who is this?" asked Nicole coldly.

"Mr. Bellmont?" said the man slowly. "Your next door neighbor, remember?"

"Oh, yes, right," dismissed Nicole, not having any willingness to carry on the conversation. "I'm fine, really, thank you for checking in on me, that was very kind."

Nicole hung up the phone before Mr. Bellmont could get in another word, and quickly skimmed through the caller ID. She repeatedly pressed the down button until she reached 'Wynonna'. Nicole pressed the green phone button, and held it up to her ear. It rang three times, and before Nicole could convince herself that it was a bad idea and hang up, a familiar voice filtered in through the phone.

"Haught? What's going on?" asked Wynonna.

"Oh, um, someone broke into my apartment." said Nicole slowly, her eyes taking in all the damage she had created, and then she smiled as a plan formed itself inside her head.

"What are you doing there? Aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?" she questioned suspiciously, and Bartholomew's anger boiled inside Nicole's gut.

"I was discharged, so Waverly drove me home." lied Nicole smoothly. "I convinced her to shower and get some food in her once I searched through the apartment to see if anyone was still in here."

"Oh... I'll be there in a flash." said Wynonna with ease.

"Thanks, Wynonna, Waverly will feel safer with Peacemaker around." said Nicole, flinching at the thought of Peacemaker being anywhere near her.

Wynonna hung up, so there was nothing much else for Nicole to do but wait.

...

Wynonna would have knocked on the door, but seeing as it was busted in and parts of it were all over the floor, she settled on stepping a foot inside and calling out to Nicole. The woman in question came into view with a lighthearted grin on her face, her dimples  on display.

"Hey, Wynonna," greeted Nicole.

"Nice shirt, Haughtpants," chuckled Wynonna.

Nicole glanced down, she hadn't really paid that much attention to what was on it when she put it on. It read "I'm fluent in English, sarcasm, and talking shit.", and Nicole let out a forced chuckle.

"Yeah, that's why I bought it." said Nicole lamely.

"So, was it that bitchy nurse who released you?" questioned Wynonna curiously as she walked deeper into the apartment to take in everything. "Jeez, this place is a mess."

"Yeah, she said I was all clear." insisted Nicole, her hands behind her back. "Who am I to go against doctor's orders?"

"Right," drawled Wynonna, eyeing her closely. "So where's Waverly?"

"She just hopped in the shower." lied Nicole, her hand tightening around the handle of the knife that was hidden behind her back. "I could go tell her you're here if you'd like?"

"No, that's alright... I can wait." Wynonna muttered, turning her head when she noticed a large hole in the wall with blood leaking down the wall.

Nicole glided closer to Wynonna, who jumped at the sudden close proximity. Her hand was instantly at her side before she forced herself to relax. Nicole gave her one of those disarming smiles while her fingers were flexing around the knife. It was suddenly too hot inside the apartment, and Wynonna was seriously regretting wearing her leather jacket, but damn did she look hot in it... literally.

"Why don't you sit down while you wait?" suggested Nicole, slipping behind Wynonna, and pushed her gently on her back to get her to move.

"Did these intruders break the A/C while they were at it?" snapped Wynonna, waving her hand in front of her face. "It's hot as hell in here."

" _Trust me, bitch, it's hotter down there._ " snarled Bartholomew, kicking Wynonna's knees out from under her.

Wynonna was sent crashing to the ground with a hiss as she happened to land right on the shattered glass of the table. She quickly flipped herself onto her back, and kicked the knife out of Nicole's hand.

"You think I'm _that_ easy?" hissed Wynonna. "You haven't even bought me dinner yet, and you already have me on my back."

" _Maybe when I'm done with you, I'll have a go at your sister._ " spat Bartholomew, twisting Nicole's lips into a sneer. " _I can play Nicole just a bit longer so I can get into her pants._ "

"Don't you fucking dare say that again." hissed Nicole, reeling back suddenly with her head in her hands.

" _You idiot! You're ruining the plan!_ " snarled Bartholomew, forcing away Nicole's hands, and stepping closer to Wynonna.

Wynonna quickly jumped to her feet, but the fist that collided with her jaw sent her back down onto the glass. She groaned mostly in annoyance.

"It's been awhile since I had something unpleasant poking me in the back." she murmured bitterly.

Nicole was on top of her in an instant, pinning her down with her weight, and relishing in Wynonna's wince. She wrapped her hand around the other woman's throat, and pushed her head up to reveal more skin. Nicole's fingers dug in harshly as her other hand grasped the sharpest piece of glass she could find among the mess. Wynonna was struggling against her fiercely, but Nicole was stronger than she gave her credit for.

"Nicole, fight it," pleaded Wynonna. "I know you can do it, you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

" _You don't know anything about me!_ " snarled Nicole, her red eyes burning down at Wynonna.

"You're right... I don't know anything about you, but when we get out of this, that will change." swore Wynonna earnestly. "Because we're a family."

"You're wrong." whispered Nicole softly, her voice trembling. "I don't have a family. I'm all alone."

"No, you might've been alone for a long time, hell, I've been alone, too, but you have a family now, and that family stays by each other no matter how bad they fuck up." stated Wynonna strongly. "I mean look at me... I fucked up the worst anybody could fuck up, and Waverly still loves me, dude."

" _Doesn't mean she'll love you forever._ " hissed Bartholomew into Nicole's ear, making Nicole tremble.

"How can you be so sure that she'll love me forever?" choked Nicole, staring tearfully down at Wynonna, who had stopped fighting. "Ever since they took me, all I've been told is that she'll leave me, and now it's all I ever think about."

"You should have seen how bad Waverly was freaking out the minute I told her you were gone. She would have had a full blown panic attack if I hadn't helped her out, and then when I calmed her down, she did nothing but research so she could find _anything_ that could save you." insisted Wynonna softly.

" _But she was going to let you die._ " countered Bartholomew out loud, making Nicole grip the glass tight enough to draw blood from her palm.

"I was _never_ going to let that happen, Nicole." said Wynonna fervidly. "I had Nedley out of sight, ready for the call if we had to go with plan B, and I'm so sorry that he's making you feel that you aren't worth anything, but the fact of the matter is that you mean _everything_ to Waverly, so you mean a lot to me. We're family Nicole."

" _I said I don't have a family, goddamn it!_ " snarled Bartholomew, feeling his control slipping, but he was determined to finish the most important part of the plan before he was forced out. " _She's sending me back to Hell, and I'm bringing you with me._ "

Rearranging the piece of glass in her hand, Nicole raised the glass high, and brought it down with force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I struggled with this chapter to be honest, and it took me all day of deleting and starting over on parts, and I'm not sure if I like it or not, so tell me if you do because I need reviews on this chapter to see if I succeeded or failed.


	9. What I've Done (There's Things You Shouldn't Forgive)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so easy to write, and I'm pretty proud of it, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

_" I said I don't have a family, goddamn it!"_ _snarled Bartholomew, feeling his control slipping, but he was determined to finish the most important part of the plan before he was forced out. "She's sending me back to Hell, and I'm bringing you with me."_

_Rearranging the piece of glass in her hand, Nicole raised the glass high, and brought it down with force._

_..._

A gunshot echoed off the walls. The piece of glass was shot out of Nicole's hand, and all she could do was gaze at her empty hand with confusion. Wynonna was staring up at her with a guarded expression before she pushed Nicole off of her. When Nicole finally snapped her attention to where the gunshot came from, her heart sank to her feet when she saw the tear-streaked face of Waverly with a gun in her hands that was pointed directly at Nicole.

"Waverly..." choked Nicole, unable to say anything more.

"Yeah, I brought backup along with me after I got a hysterical phone call from Waverly right before you called me." said Wynonna darkly.

Doc and Dolls stepped through the battered doorway with their guns drawn, but lowered them slowly when they saw a guilt-ridden Nicole sitting on the floor with her back resting against the island, glass scattered all around her. She couldn't even look in their direction anymore after she realized what she had done... What she _almost_ did. Her fingers ghosted over the broken glass surrounding her.

" _Look what you have done._ " whispered Bartholomew inside her head, but it was faint now, like he was falling further and further away. " _We told you it would be a matter of time before Waverly hated you._ "

"I know." said Nicole weakly, refusing to meet anyone's eye. "I just didn't think it would be because of this."

"Haught," said Dolls, unable to take watching his deputy talk to herself anymore. "We know what to do to get Bartholomew out of you."

Nicole chuckled, but it was self-deprecatingly. Her fingers were still running along the jagged ends of the broken glass, and her eyes closed as she wrapped her hands around a particularly sharp piece that nicked her fingertips. When she finally glanced over at the group, their hopes dashed when her eyes were burning red.

" _You fools..._ " drawled Bartholomew bitterly. " _You think getting rid of me is going to make everything okay?_ "

"I thought Nicole sent you back to Hell out of sheer will." groaned Wynonna heatedly.

" _Her will is long gone, Earp._ " chuckled Bartholomew bitterly, making Nicole flex her fingers around the piece of glass. " _She's all but given up, the poor girl._ "

"No, Nicole, I know you can fight him." insisted Waverly, speaking for the first time since using her weapon against Nicole. "I believe in you, baby."

" _How can you even stand to look at her?_ " sneered Bartholomew, staring at Waverly without blinking once, but Waverly glared unflinchingly right back. " _You used a gun on her... That makes two Earp girls to shoot at her now doesn't it? I think I want to go for all three._ "

"I shot at you, you pathetic piece of filth." hissed Waverly, taking a step towards Nicole's body despite the protests coming from everyone else. "I would never hurt Nicole."

" _That's what you think now, but this whole time it's been you that's on her brain, and every single time it tortures her._ " countered Bartholomew, grinning widely when Waverly flinched. " _You're hurting the poor girl already._ "

"Don't listen to him, baby girl!" snapped Wynonna, stepping forward until she was side-by-side with her sister. "It's him, he's the one telling her all these cruel things, not you."

"I'm hurting her." whispered Waverly lowly, her heart breaking.

" _Yes indeed, you should have felt her emotions when she looked over to see it was you who was pointing a gun at her face._ " cackled Bartholomew, the glass gripped so tightly that more blood was flowing from Nicole's palm onto her pant leg. " _She knew you were going to leave her, but she didn't expect you to shoot her first._ "

"What the hell are you talking about?" questioned Waverly, confusion clouding her face. "I'm never going to leave her! Nic, baby... you think I'm going to leave you?"

Nicole's face was screwed up with what looked like pain before her red eyes were brown again. She was looking everywhere but Waverly, and lessened her grip on the glass just marginally. Her hand shook as she examined all the blood coming from her wound, and then she shrugged her shoulders meekly without glancing over to see the other woman's reaction. What she didn't expect, was the soft fingers guiding her chin over.

"Nicole, do you really think I'm going to let you go after I just got you?" questioned Waverly with an arched eyebrow. "I am willing to battle any demon who thinks they can take you from me without a fight. You're all mine, baby... Just like I'm all yours."

Waverly was kneeling down in front of Nicole, and she leaned in to plant a kiss right onto her girlfriend's lips, but Nicole pulled away quickly, her palms running over glass in her haste to get away. Waverly looked confused, stunned, and then hurt when she watched Nicole run away like a scared animal.

"You need to stay away from me!" yelped Nicole, her voice shaking as bad as her body was. "I almost killed Wynonna, how can you even stand to be around me?"

Waverly slowly stood back up, and refused to allow Nicole to put anymore space between them as she basically sat right in Nicole's lap. Wynonna was somewhere in the background gagging and muttering something about how overly sweet the display was and it was making her sick to her stomach. Doc gently pushed her on the arm to get her to be quiet and let the couple have their much needed moment.

"I think there are some things that we really need to talk about, and now is the best time to do it." said Waverly seriously. "We're going to start off with the fact that you shouldn't feel guilt about what _Bartholomew_ almost did. I don't blame you, and Wynonna doesn't blame you, right Wynonna?"

"Buy me some doughnuts and whiskey, and then we'll talk." Wynonna quipped, but quickly backtracked when Waverly sent her a death glare from over her shoulder. "What I meant to say was no hard feelings. We could never hate you, right guys?" Wynonna elbowed both Doc and Dolls in the ribs.

"Well of course we could never harbor any ill feelings towards such a mighty fine woman." insisted Doc earnestly, fiddling with the brim of his hat.

"You'll always be a deputy for the Black Badge." said Dolls with a quick nod.

"That's the best you'll get out of him, I'm afraid." shrugged Wynonna.

"Now that we've crossed that point off," started Waverly, running her fingertips across the back of Nicole's clenched hand; "It's time to get it through to you that you are my world, Nicole. I almost fell apart when I thought I lost you, and then I nearly lost it again when no one told me about plan B."

"Are we still on this right now?" scoffed Wynonna, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout.

" _Yes_ , and I'm still a little angry at that." spat Waverly, sending a withering look to Wynonna before she turned back to look at Nicole with loving eyes. "I cannot and will not lose you to anything or anyone, and I'll always love you no matter what, Nicole."

"There are some things that you shouldn't forgive, Waverly." muttered Nicole, trying to break away from the woman that was claiming her lap, but was failing. "You shouldn't forgive someone who steals everything from you, or cheats on you, or tries to kill your sister for crying out loud!"

"Nicole," Waverly interrupted sharply. "I've been with Champ long enough to experience everything apart from attempting murder on my sister, and you two are so different. I've endured everything for so long that I refuse to go through that again, so that's a warning to you, Nicole."

"That's a warning from both of us." chimed in Wynonna, her hand resting on Peacemaker threateningly. "If you break her heart, Haughtstuff, I'll break your legs so you can't run away from me."

"I'll let you know when you're about to go over the line, so stop worrying that you'll do something that will make me leave you because I don't plan on it... ever." soothed Waverly, drawing small circles on the back of Nicole's hand until her fist relaxed, and the bloody piece of glass fell onto her lap.

"See?" called Wynonna with a pleased grin. "Told you she'd forgive your fuck ups no matter what."

"I love you, Nicole." insisted Waverly, cradling her girlfriend's face in her hands, and leaned her head against Nicole's. She used her thumbs to wipe away the tears that were spilling down her cheeks. "And I plan on showing you how much when you're feeling better." Waverly bit her lip suggestively.

"Oh gross! I'm about to shoot myself so I don't have to hear that over and over again." gagged Wynonna, her hands covering her ears, and an absolute look of disgust on her face. "That will haunt my dreams!"

"When you hear moaning, pretend it's ghosts." taunted Waverly, deciding she'd get even with Wynonna by grossing her out.

Doc cleared his throat. Ever the gentleman, he wanted to get that particular spotlight off the blushing Nicole.

"As touching as this is, and I do mean touching, we still need to sever the tie before Bartholomew takes control over Miss Haught's body again." he insisted.

"I need him gone, I won't be able to stop him a second time, and he's still fighting for control." agreed Nicole, her tone full of fear, and the glass was back in her hand.

"Do you want us to tie you down?" questioned Wynonna slowly, cautiously. "If not, we can get Doc and Dolls to hold you still so you won't jerk about while we're cutting apart that carved heart."

"Wait, what?" choked Nicole, looking between Waverly and Wynonna. She wasn't fully informed on what they had to do.

"You didn't tell her?" hissed Wynonna, gaping at her sister.

"I didn't have time to before he possessed her!" defended Waverly, and as she turned away from Nicole, she wasn't aware of the war going on behind her eyes.

Bartholomew took full advantage of Nicole once her guard was down at the mention of cutting into her, and once Waverly had her back turned, he reached Nicole's hands forward, and pulled Waverly to Nicole's chest. He pulled her into a heated kiss, and chuckled inside Nicole's head, tuning out her pleas and screams for him to leave Waverly alone. He ran Nicole's hand up under Waverly's shirt, ignoring the brunette's protests to stop, and trailed the bloody fingers over toned abs.

" _I can see why this bitch is so smitten for you._ " growled Bartholomew. " _I can clearly see inside Nicole's head that you're a good lay._ "

"Stop talking about her like that." stammered Nicole, her voice wavering as she fought back for control over her own body.

She quickly let go of Waverly, and gently forced her away. Her eyes were changing from red to brown and back rapidly, a clear sign that Bartholomew and Nicole were both fighting for control, and in the end, Nicole had enough. She was tired of his onslaught of abuse. He had the nerve to break her physically, and then he attacked her emotionally. Now, when all was said and done and she thought for a whole minute that she might have been free, she was proved wrong.

But she was so used to having her heart built up and then crushed from years of being at home with a house full of people who no longer even asked how she was doing, let alone even look in her general direction. Nicole spent years having loved ones just drop her so easily, that she came to think of herself as unlovable. The disappointment she had to carry from everyone was too much, and she was so terrified of disappointing Waverly like she had done with everyone else.

And when she saw the slight disappointment in her eyes as she held a gun at Nicole, Nicole's heart shattered inside her chest, and she was surprised that the pieces weren't scattered all over the floor right along with the glass. She wouldn't let Bartholomew hurt Waverly anymore. She wouldn't let him take everything from her when all she deserved was the stars and the moon in the sky.

Nicole knew what had to be done in the end, and she might not like it, but at least she would finally be at peace. She wouldn't be harassed and taunted and abused anymore, and that thought alone was comforting as she brought the glass up to look at. It took Waverly a minute before she realized what Nicole planned to do, and then she jumped forward in fear. Wynonna's eyes widened in panic, Doc held his arm out in a useless attempt to stop Nicole, and Dolls dashed forward, but his inhuman speed wasn't quick enough.

Nicole gripped the glass with a mixture of fear and resignation. The glass cut through the air as she brought it down swiftly, and was soon embedded inside the skin where the carved heart was. The heart was broken, and a loud shriek reverberated inside Nicole's head, and she didn't realize the demonic shriek was coming from her mouth and was piercing through the air as well. Everyone but Waverly covered their ears. She was too busy grabbing at Nicole to block out the noise, and she was sobbing horribly.

" _You stupid fucking bitch!_ " screamed Bartholomew in agony. " _You ruined everything! You always ruined everything! No wonder they hate you!_ "

Nicole swallowed down the hateful words, and tried to focus on the pulsing pain that was spreading throughout her chest. She could feel soft, urgent hands moving over her body, and after a full minute of Bartholomew clinging onto her for dear life, he was finally ripped out of her, and was sent back to Hell. Nicole tumbled to her side, but was caught by Waverly, and she relaxed into her arms.

"Nicole? Please don't do this again!" sobbed Waverly, and Wynonna was talking rapidly on her phone to someone, and then a thought suddenly came to Nicole.

"Nurse Stevens," whispered Nicole weakly.

"What was that, honey?" Waverly asked, leaning forward so she could hear better.

"Nurse Stevens is one of them. You have... to stop... her." mumbled Nicole, trailing off as her eyes closed.

Everyone was talking (or were they yelling? All Nicole could hear were whispers) in the background, but Nicole couldn't open her eyes again before she slipped into the darkness.

...

When Nicole opened her eyes once again, it was hot. Fires danced all around her, and the same sounds of roaring fires, screams, and laughs were echoing all around like it did before. Nicole pushed herself onto her elbows as she looked around. All she could see was fire burning away at everything, and then the fear settled inside her gut. This was it, she died, and now she was in Hell. She didn't have enough time to earn a place in Heaven.

Then there were growls that sounded just a little louder than the roaring inferno. When Nicole looked around, her fear rose even more until she was paralyzed with unadulterated terror. Bartholomew and Bobo were glaring down at her, and before she could stutter anything out, they pounced, and grabbed her.

"I wanted Wynonna, Bartholomew!" snarled Bobo.

"I tried, but this bitch got in the way." defended Bartholomew crossly.

"Now I have to wait for some other idiot genius to come up with some idea to get rid of the heir!" hissed Bobo, angered beyond anything that his plan was foiled by some stupid woman. "You will regret what you've done for the rest of eternity!"

_Oh, no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I thought that making Nicole sever the tie between her and Bartholomew was kinda fitting. What do you think? Were you shocked at how this chapter played out?


	10. What Makes You Special?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole finds the sass that Bartholomew and Samuel took from her, and rips into both Bobo and Bartholomew

Bobo reeled his arm back, ready to strike, and swung at Nicole... Only to have his arm glide right through her abdomen. He pulled back quickly, and looked over at Bartholomew quizzically. Bartholomew shrugged, turned back to Nicole, and tried to slap her across the face, but his hand never made contact with anything solid.

Nicole was wincing the entire time, but once she found that she couldn't be touched by either men, she somewhat calmed down. Bobo and Bartholomew weren't willing to give up so easily, and after five whole minutes of different assaults, Bobo finally stepped back in shock and fury.

"This is just a dream for you... You're not really dead." he snarled, running his fingers through his hair and ripping at it. "Fuck it all!"

"It can't be!" exclaimed Bartholomew wildly. "We know she sacrificed herself!"

"Then kindly explain to me as to why we can't lay a finger on her, Bartholomew." spat Bobo, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for the other revenant to stammer and sputter. "Wrong answer! She isn't physically here!"

Nicole was confused. She wasn't really in Hell? They why was she down there? Was there a purpose? There was clearly a reason as to why she was back with Bartholomew and Bobo, and she had a feeling that she wouldn't be able to leave until she resolved whatever that was.

"We could still have some fun with her." offered Bartholomew meekly, but Bobo wasn't in the mood.

"You idiot, she isn't even the one I wanted!"

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm as good as you're gonna get." drawled Nicole, getting over her initial fear once she learned that she wasn't really in Hell.

"Shut it, bitch... Does it look like I care about your opinion?" snapped Bobo, taking a threatening step towards the fallen woman.

"Not really, but it also doesn't look like you can do a damn thing about it." grinned Nicole, the sass that Bartholomew and Samuel took from her coming back full force.

"Bartholomew, I thought you broke her in every way." hissed Bobo, whipping around to glare daggers into him. "Why is she talking back to me?"

"She's a coward, Bobo!" insisted Bartholomew anxiously. "She's only talking back because we can't physically harm her."

Nicole laughed. It was an incredulous laugh as she slowly pushed herself up until she was sitting, and then she sent a withering glare at Bartholomew, not that it had much affect. The two revenants arched their eyebrows as they looked down at her.

"You want to talk about cowardice?" asked Nicole defiantly. "Cowardice is kidnapping and slaughtering innocent girls who could never fight back. Cowardice is using someone to get to someone else. Cowardice is breaking someone down just because they will always be better than you in every possible way, and you know that you will always be nothing but the dirt beneath Bobo's boot because YOU are the coward who can never stand up to him... You're just miffed that I'm talking back to him because you never will."

"You shut your fucking mouth!" barked Bartholomew, his fist clenched by his sides since he couldn't hit her.

"I think I hit a sensitive subject for you. I wonder how that feels." said Nicole sarcastically. "I wonder what it feels like to be hit right where it hurts."

"I might not be able to physically hurt you, but I can still tear you down." warned Bartholomew. "I've seen everything that makes you tick. I know what makes you sad, and I can tell you all your insecurities."

"You could try." said Nicole blankly. "But haven't you already done that? It won't be anything I haven't heard before."

"Well," dralwed Bobo, a wicked grin coming to his face as he finally interrupted the altercation. "I must say that I do know of one thing that will definitely make you sick to your stomach."

"Don't you dare," growled Nicole, her snarky attitude dissipating.

"I'll tell you _exactly_ what I plan to do to Waverly when I finally break free of this prison."

"What makes you think you'll ever get out of here?" countered Nicole through clenched teeth. "I will make it my personal mission to make sure you have to stay down here for eternity."

"What makes you so goddamn special?" sneered Bobo, watching Nicole through narrowed eyes as he circled around her body like a predator stalking its prey. "Everyone wants me down here, so tell me what the hell makes you any different from them? What gives you the thought that you can actually do anything about it?"

Nicole opened her mouth, prepared to retort, but nothing came out. What did make her different? What made her so special? He was right, sheer will alone won't do anything about it, or else he never would have came back as a revenant. No, just because she wanted him to stay in Hell so bad didn't mean it would happen. But there was something that made her different than them, that would make her do something that no one else can.

"The Earps," said Nicole simply.

"The Earps... What about them?" questioned Bobo, clearly amused by her answer. " _They_ don't make _you_ special, you know."

"That's what makes me different from everyone else... The Earps are my family, and family helps and supports each other, and I will protect my family with everything I have because I care about them. No one else is or ever was willing to do that for them, but I am."

"How touching," drawled Bobo with an eye roll. "You're so desperate to have a family that you'll go and get close with the _Earps_."

Nicole's blood boiled in her veins at the way he said their last name. She was so used to hearing everyone of Purgatory sneer at Waverly and Wynonna's last name, and she was so used to the way people would spit insults as they passed or roll their eyes when they spotted the sisters. It would anger Nicole every single time, but she couldn't undo over a decade's worth of hatred even if she could list off reasons they were good people until she was blue in the face.

So Nicole made it her mission to show Waverly how much she was cherished when they were together. There weren't many times Waverly could say that someone went out of their way for her, but Nicole would be damned if Waverly felt that way with her. And when she befriended Wynonna, she knew how fragile their friendship was, and she knew why. Wynonna wasn't that familiar with the concept of friendship, and Nicole would show her that all friendships were different, but no less special. Whether they were just drinking buddies or they were civil due to the fact that they both loved Waverly, there was still a bond there that Nicole wouldn't let break.

"They are a closer family than anyone else, and they have enough love to give that makes someone feel so damn lucky to be a part of." insisted Nicole heatedly. "No one takes the time to see how amazing they are, and if they did, they'd wonder why they ever made the Earps feel like pariahs. Hell, _I_ wonder why they made them feel so low about themselves because they are so much more than just a name. They are a family, and I need them, so that's why I grew close to them... I grew close with them because they are exactly like me."

"You are a freak just like they are." Bobo quipped, crouching low so he was closer to Nicole's face so he could convey just how lowly he thought of her.

"He's right," agreed Bartholomew.

"Shut up, asshole... Find your own opinion for once." snapped Nicole without looking his way, and instead stared back at Bobo. "You know well enough that they aren't freaks... You just made everyone in Purgatory believe they were because it was all you and your little crew. It's all your fault, and you don't even feel bad about how you turned them into pariahs that everyone bullied or avoided like the plague. They were never the freaks... You were, and you always will be."

"Does it look like I am a man who gives a damn?" asked Bobo rhetorically. "It's far too late for me to act nice and follow the rules when I know exactly where I'll end up. Why be good when I can have fun instead? Why act clean when I can be a freak that's living to the fullest?"

"Why put the blame on a little girl instead of owning up to it like you are doing now with pride? Why ruin her life, and then turn around and act all bad and tough around all your revenant friends?" Nicole quipped in disgust. "I don't see a man at all... I see a pathetic piece of shit who's mad that he was beaten by the very girl he ruined so long ago, and you aren't clever at all... you're just petty as all fuck."

"Is this how you think it's going to go?" questioned Bobo with an arched eyebrow. "You think you're going to turn the emotional assault onto me? Because I have news for you, Haught... Once you've spent what feels like an eternity in Hell of all places, you lose all feeling towards anything and everyone. You can call me whatever you like, but I've built a tolerance for pitiful backlash, unlike you, so go ahead and take a shot at me because I'm sure that you'll crash and burn just like you've always done throughout your life."

"You think you can hurt me by taking a shot at my past?" Nicole retorted with a glare. "If I survived it when my family of all people spat words of disappointment and anger at me, what makes you think that someone as miserably inadequate as you will hurt me?"

Bobo opened his mouth with another quip burning on the tip of his tongue, but when Nicole's body began to quiver and fade away, his eyes widened. When Nicole noticed his lack of response and wide eyes, she glanced down, and gasped when she began to disappear. Maybe this was it. Maybe she was going back to wherever she was, and she didn't care as long as it wasn't Hell. For a moment, she began to wonder what it took to finally leave. Was it just because she was waking up? No, there had to be something.

"What's going on?" questioned Bartholomew angrily. "You haven't been down here long enough!"

And then it hit Nicole like a train. She smiled smugly as she looked at both Bobo and Bartholomew.

"I finally found what makes me special, and I've finally let go of my past. I've let go of my own personal hell." she grinned widely, flashing her dimples at the scowling revenants.

"You think the Earps make you special?" growled Bobo. "If that's what makes you feel high and mighty, you're going to fall."

"There will be days that I'll fall, that's true, but I'll never stay down when I have people helping me back up." countered Nicole with a smirk.

"If your family dropped you before, what makes you think they won't?" snapped Bartholomew with a frown.

"Because they know how much it hurts. They understand me better than anyone ever has, and that's what makes me special." corrected Nicole. "Some people finally see me, and that's all I ever wanted; all I ever needed."

Bobo threw his caution to the wind, and hurled himself forward in hopes of forcing Nicole to stay down in Hell right along with him. When his face hit the brimstone, he screamed in anger rather than agony as his face sizzled from the heat radiating from the stone. He looked back, and the only person he saw was a furious Bartholomew, and Nicole was nowhere in sight.

"NO!" bellowed Bobo, and then he unleashed his fury onto the brimstone as he repeatedly punched at the ground, not caring that his flesh was bubbling. "We were so close!"

"There has to be some other way, Bobo... We will return!" insisted Bartholomew earnestly.

"You idiot, what makes you think I have any other ideas?" snapped Bobo, grabbing Bartholomew by his collar, and slamming him face down onto the boiling brimstone, ignoring his shrieks and pleas for him to stop as smoke wafted through the air. "You failed me, Bartholomew, and now you'll see what happens to those who let me down."

...

 Waverly was pacing all around the waiting room. It seemed like she had done that several times in the span of a couple days. Doc, Dolls, and Wynonna had taken care of nurse Stevens, so Waverly felt a little better about the staff that was taking care of Nicole. But that didn't make her feel great, and nothing would make her feel happier until she could yell at her girlfriend for being so reckless.

Waverly still had Nicole's blood staining her hands, and she had a feeling that even if she washed and scrubbed them a million times, they'd never be clean of it. Her throat was still sore from calling and pleading for Nicole to open her eyes, but she never did. Waverly knew that smartest idea was to leave the glass in the wound as to prevent blood from flowing more freely, but when she stared down at the object that was slowly killing her girlfriend, all she could think about was pulling it out and applying pressure, but she was so afraid that she would end up killing her that she froze and did nothing.

Wynonna had called an ambulance, and Waverly could vaguely remember the ride to the hospital as she gripped Nicole's hand in a tight grasp while refusing to let go. She could barely recall Wynonna pulling her away as they wheeled Nicole away. She couldn't quite say when Nedley showed up when he got the call saying his deputy was back in the hospital with yet another critical injury.

Waverly was taking shelter in his arms, but she never remembered forcing herself into his embrace. He was stiff and awkward, but he didn't push her away like she would have thought he'd do. She could feel him patting her on the back while whispering things like "She's too strong to give up." and "I'll kick her ass myself if she dies." and while it would make Waverly giggle just a little bit, it wasn't enough to settle her rapidly beating heart.

"Haught," called the doctor, but his eyes already landed on Waverly and the sheriff seeing as he was all too familiar with the trouble those two gave his staff just yesterday.

"Is she alright there, doc?" said Nedley, asking the question Waverly couldn't bring herself to ask.

"Miss Haught managed to force the piece of glass far enough to nick her heart, but not deep enough to pierce through completely. We managed to go in and stitch the wound closed, so we have her under some heavy medication. She's in ICU for the night just so we can watch over her thoroughly so we can prevent anything unexpected to happen, so I can only allow one at a time until she wakes up." said the doctor monotonously, like he was so used to giving this sort of news.

"You go on, Earp... I can wait my turn." insisted Nedley quietly.

Waverly spared him a glance, and she couldn't stop herself from giving Nedley another hug, and he'd never admit to actually finding comfort himself in the hug. Once Waverly pulled away, the doctor led her down different halls that blurred as she passed by, and it felt like forever and too quick all at the same time when she arrived at the glass door that Nicole was behind. She looked like a peaceful angel as she slept.

Waverly bit back a sob as she stepped into the room, and when she gently slid the door shut, she finally allowed it out as she took her place at the end of the bed while being careful of Nicole's legs. Tears were falling down her face as she cautiously rubbed her hand over the legs that were covered by the antiseptic sheets. She wondered what Nicole was dreaming about, if she was dreaming at all, and then panic took purchase of her heart. _What if Bartholomew is still taunting her?_ Waverly forced the thought away. _No, Nicole severed the connection._

As she took in everything about her sleeping girlfriend, the dams broke, and she was crying into her hand to muffle the sounds. The emotional toll it was taking on her was exhausting her, and while Nicole slept, she'd break down and cry and feel fear, but when she was awake, that would be when she puts on a brave face to hold and comfort Nicole. But now was her time, and the breakdown she was having was heartbreaking.

"Oh god, Nicole." sobbed Waverly, biting down onto her fist. "I almost lost you too many times now. I can't lose you."

In Waverly's opinion, it was so stupid when someone called someone else an ugly crier. There were no pretty criers when your entire world was breaking before your eyes, or if everything was taken from you, or when your special someone was ripped away so carelessly and callously. There was nothing beautiful in that kind of pain. It was just an ugly, soul-crushing, agonizing pain that fucking hurt. And right now, there was nothing pretty about the sobs that were tearing out of her, and there was nothing pretty about the tear stains that were tracking down her cheeks.

"I need you so much." cried Waverly, the hand on Nicole's leg moving to her side so she can grip the sheets until her knuckles were white. "You were so scared of me leaving you, but it's me who's so terrified that you'll leave. Please don't leave me."

But Nicole didn't say anything. She stayed perfectly still as she slept on, oblivious to the breakdown that was happening at the foot of the bed, and for that, Waverly was grateful. Nicole had gone through so much that she deserved to have her own breakdown, and if she saw Waverly breaking down, she'd never allow herself to, and Waverly was going to make sure Nicole dealt with what happened properly, and not just push it down for it to explode later.

"We'll have each other, baby." whispered Waverly, calming down enough to where she resumed rubbing Nicole's leg. "And the Black Badge, even Nedley... You have all of us."

Waverly moved off the bed, and took a seat in the uncomfortable chair beside the bed. She took her girlfriend's hand (her _too cold_ hand) into her own, and began rubbing small circles all across the back of it before she brought it to her lips.

"You'll never be alone again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The back and forth between a sassy ass Nicole and a boss ass bitch Bobo was so fun, and I'm glad that they both had a quip for each other... It doesn't seem in character for either of them to just take a hit and not send one back. But we all know that Nicole deserved to get the last word in. What do you think?


	11. A Trip (And Fall) Down Memory Lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip down memory lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head, Nicole is from Texas, not even gonna apologize

Nicole's eighteenth birthday was only a short few months away. It was the final day of high school, her last basketball game was today after school, and apparently there was a man from one of the top colleges in Texas coming to the game to offer her a scholarship. It seemed like her life was on the right track. Her alarm blared loudly, forcing Nicole out of her dream, and when she turned over to shut off the clock, it was glowing bright red as it said that it was six o' clock in the morning. Rather than feel agitated about being awoken, Nicole grinned widely.

"Last day of high school!" she announced to herself as she flung the comforter off her body.

She could hear her brother grumbling through the super thin walls as he got ready for school. He had come home the previous day with a slip of paper saying he required summer school, so he was nowhere near as excited as his sister was that morning. Nicole would have felt sympathy for Victor, but honestly, it was his fault if he would rather slack off in school, ditch classes, and just wing it on his finals. There was a muffled _thump_ that came from his room, and she could tell that he tumbled to the floor, and by the lack of expletives, Nicole could also discern that he more than likely went back to sleep right on the floor.

Nicole basically flew down the stairs after she got dressed for the day. Her mother was frying up breakfast, a cigarette dangling from between her lips, and an open bottle of liquor sitting on the counter by her side. She took a drag of the cigarette, and offered Nicole a small wave as her way of saying good morning. Her mother was dressed in a robe, and for some reason, she decided that wearing a scarf wouldn't be suspicious at all.

If that wasn't proof enough that her mother had a wild night with someone other than her father, there were muffled curses coming from the master bedroom. Nicole's father never came home from work the night before. He claimed that he needed to blow off some steam after learning that his son would need summer school, but Nicole was well aware that he would have found any excuse to get away to his job instead of spending the night at home.

"Morning, mom," said Nicole brightly, choosing to look away from the creaking door of the master bedroom and the opening of the front door.

"Last day of school... Are you excited, dear?" questioned Mrs. Haught, flipping the bacon before taking a swig of the liquor.

"You know it!" exclaimed Nicole with a grin. "I'm ready for the game, too!"

"That reminds me, honey, your uniform is in the dryer. I washed it last night." her mom said with a warm smile. "You needed it fresh and clean for your last time wearing it."

"Thanks, mom!" said Nicole, taking a seat at the table just as Victor dragged his way down the stairs with his backpack slung loosely over his shoulder.

"Morning, sweetheart." said Mrs. Haught, her tone not nearly as warm and inviting as it was for Nicole. "Are you happy that it's the last day?"

"Why should I be?" snapped Victor crossly. "I have to go back in a week!"

"Don't you raise your voice at me!" hissed Mrs. Haught, her voice matching his volume. "Whose fault is it that you decided you wanted to mess around and waste your education instead of buckling down and study like your sister here?"

"Surprise, surprise, you bring Miss Perfect into this." snarled Victor, crossing his arms over his chest while leaning down in his chair.

"Act more like her, and good things will happen to you like they are for your sister!" said Mrs. Haught heatedly, cracking an egg with a little too much force, and cursed loudly when a few shells fell into the pan.

"Victor," tried Nicole gently, knowing how much it was hurting him to be compared to her time and time again in everything he did. "She doesn't mean that, she just wants you to put more effort into school."

"Easy for you to say when everyone loves you!" hissed Victor in a whisper before he threw himself out of his chair, ripped his pack off the back of it, and took off out the door without breakfast or a glance back.

As the screen door slammed shut, Nicole winced. The heartbreak that Victor tried so hard to hide was so evident in his eyes when he says things like that (and he said them a lot). It was like someone was taking a chisel to her heart every time she heard him snarl or hiss or spit such things at her before running away. What hurt even more was when their parents never said a word as he went on his way. They just let him go without knowing where he was headed or when he'd be back. It was up to Nicole to worry about him, and Victor didn't even care.

"Nic, dear, your father called just before you woke up, and he said he'll be at your game today." informed Mrs. Haught, filling a dish up with bacon and eggs.

Nicole hummed her acknowledgment halfheartedly, her eyes still glued on the screen door. The fact that her father was going to attend her last game was actually a big deal. He never went to anything his children participated in, and had it not been for the man coming about a scholarship, Nicole had no doubt that he wouldn't be there. It added to the mounting pressure that was taking shelter on her shoulders.

"How does it feel to have the entire school rooting for you, honey?" questioned Mrs. Haught proudly, placing the plate in front of her daughter.

The thought of eating suddenly was too much for Nicole, but with her mother standing over her with a wide grin, her dimples flashing, she shoveled the eggs into her mouth reluctantly before she said, "Intense."

"Don't worry, Nicole, I know you'll do fantastic as always." assured Mrs. Haught with conviction.

The praise was meant to be encouraging, but it only made Nicole's stomach clench uncomfortably as more weight was shoveled onto her shoulders, and for a moment, Nicole was afraid that she'd collapse beneath it. Instead of voicing her struggles, she forced a smile on her face, but it quickly slipped away once her mother's back was turned. Sawyer, the pit bull puppy that their father begrudgingly bought after his children's incessant pleas, bounded up to Nicole, his tail wagging as he smelled the food.

Nicole smiled gently down at him, and reached down to pet just behind his left ear. His tongue was flapping out the side of his mouth, and after making sure that her mother's back was still turned, Nicole dropped her food to the floor, and tried to look as innocent as possible as Sawyer gulped everything down noisily. After glancing down at her wrist to check her watch, Nicole went back upstairs to finish getting ready for the day.

"Nicole!" called her mother just as she fished her uniform out of the dryer. "Your papa is going to be at your game, too."

"What?" gulped Nicole anxiously. When she woke up this morning, everything seemed to be so easy, but now the tension in her body was enough to wound her up so tight she could snap at any second.

"Yeah, he wants to see the game that'll get his granddaughter a scholarship. He can't wait to brag to all his friends and drinking buddies." said Mrs. Haught excitedly.

Nicole's grandpa (on her father's side) was all about sports. He had forced her father to play any sport while he was a kid, and he was really good. He had numerous scholarships and several colleges wanted him, and his life was going nowhere but up... Until he got his girlfriend pregnant. Then there was Nicole, and while he insisted that he wasn't mad that he gave everything up to raise his daughter at the young age of seventeen, she always felt the vibe that everything was her fault.

So when her grandpa came to any of her games, it was important to impress him enough to brag to his pals, or else she'd end up like Victor; None of her grandpa's friends knew he had a grandson. When she joined the basketball team, he was suddenly caring about her enough to call her every other month, something he didn't bother doing before. To hear that he was going to be there along with her father, the entire school, plus the man from college, Nicole was glad that she barely ate anything because it would be all over her shoes right now.

"I'm gonna head off to school... Maybe get in some practice before the day starts." called Nicole shakily.

"Good idea, Nicky, have a great day sweetheart." smiled Mrs. Haught. "I'll see you later on tonight at the game... Make me proud!"

"You and everyone else," muttered Nicole as she closed the front door behind herself.

...

To say that Nicole was off her game would be an understatement; She had _no_ game that night. For starters, she accidentally stepped out of court, resulting in the other team getting the ball and scoring three points. Then, when she got the ball, she threw it with perfect aim and precision... into the other team's net.  When she got anywhere near her own goal, the ball would bounce off the rim, or off the backboard. Nicole Haught had been the star player... Now everyone wondered if she was even a player at all.

Nicole had gotten fouled, and while anyone else would have grimaced, she grinned, seeing a chance to redeem herself in everyone's eyes. She got two clean shots in, and fist pumped the air when they both went in with a _swish_. _Maybe I've got my groove back!_ Nicole had jinxed herself horribly. After fouling, missing, and losing the ball too many times, her coach pulled her to the side, and benched her.

Nicole didn't have to look over to see the disapproval on her family's faces, although, Victor was grinning happily, his hands crossed behind his head as he relaxed to watch the game, a package of popcorn settled between his legs. Her grandpa had clearly had enough of watching her make a fool of herself, so he left long ago, and her father looked close to following in his footsteps, but only stayed because her mother was grabbing at his arm every time he so much as stood up.

The man who came to talk to her about a scholarship was shaking his head while scribbling something onto his clipboard before he hoisted himself from the bleachers, and walked away. And just like that, Nicole - who had possession of the ball, and was about to shoot before the buzzer buzzed - dropped the ball in horror, realizing her chance had slipped away, and then the buzzer went off, signaling the end of the game.

Her father shook his head in disappointment when her eyes zeroed in on him. He stormed away with her frowning mother in tow, and Victor was strolling out of the building cockily, but stopped just by the door. He turned to face his sister, but she was too busy staring down at her feet, a look of misery written all over her face. She had everything... It was within her grasp, and she was so sure that morning that this was going to be the best day of her life... And then she dropped it just like she dropped the ball. Her parents couldn't even look at her anymore after embarrassing herself (and them by extension) in front of a crowd of people.

"Sucks doesn't it?" called Victor with a smirk. "You had everything I didn't, and now you lost it... That must suck."

Nicole wanted to retort, but she didn't have it in her. She didn't have anything in her right now. The crowd had already left, and her teammates and coach all headed towards the locker room, completely ignoring her existence like her family did. Her girlfriend had immediately dumped her after her little display, and she had never felt so alone... so disappointed. She was so disappointed in herself enough for everyone else, but that didn't mean they didn't feel any towards her.

"I failed." whispered Nicole aloud.

"You're right... You did." agreed Victor cruelly.

"Is this what you always felt like?" questioned Nicole quietly, and for a moment, Victor just looked at her before his gaze hardened.

"No... There's a difference between what you and I feel." snapped Victor bitterly. "You had everything and lost it, and I never had anything at all. It's my turn now, _I'll_ have it all."

Nicole watched him as he walked away, and then called out to him.

"I hope you never lose it."

Then she broke.

...

Wynonna sat in the chair next to Waverly. Nicole was transferred to room two eleven once she was cleared from the ICU. Waverly never left her side once, and Wynonna had a feeling she wouldn't be going anywhere until Haughtstuff woke up. Not that Wynonna blamed her. If her girlfriend was kidnapped, tortured, tortured some more, possessed, and then stabbed herself to finally free herself from a demon, Wynonna wouldn't leave her side either.

Nedley was off to help his deputies identify the girls that Bartholomew had taken and slaughtered, but he had insisted that he be informed of there was a change in Nicole. He took it upon himself to retrieve Calamity Jane, and seeing as he wasn't certain when Nicole would come to, he took the cat home with him, fighting off that scratches and hisses the entire ride home. The second Calamity saw Chrissy, she hurled herself towards the woman, and was curling herself around his daughter's legs while glaring and spitting his way.

Doc had brought some flowers to brighten up the room. He had spent about half an hour speaking to the owner of the local flower shop before he gave up in anger, claiming flowers were not his forte, but he wasn't willing to give up. So when he was crossing through a field on his way back to the hospital, purple lilies were flowing in the wind. His eyes brightened as he stalked up to them, and he carefully plucked a handful of them before he ran back to the hospital. Doc momentarily panicked when Wynonna had informed him that they needed a vase and some water, so quickly thinking, Doc flipped his hat onto its top, and poured water into it before he put the lilies into it.

Waverly muffled her laughter when Doc halted immediately with the pitcher in his hand. He glanced down at the glass, then to the flowers, and then to his hat. His mustache twitched along with his eye as he cursed his stupidity for not thinking to set the flowers into the pitcher before he slowly left the room with his spine straight like an arrow.

Dolls had gotten her a stuffed puppy from the gift shop, and from him, that spoke volumes seeing as he threatened her with treason during their first encounter. He acted like he was unaffected by it all, but he genuinely feared for his newest deputy's safety. So when he saw the puppy wearing a stetson, he automatically bought it with her in mind with no hesitancy whatsoever. When Waverly and Wynonna shot him knowing grins, he cleared his throat, claiming he needed to make an urgent call to his bosses.

"So I was asking myself something just earlier." said Wynonna suddenly, turning to smirk wickedly at her sister.

"I'm afraid of anything that goes through your head." Waverly quipped, turning her body in the chair to look directly at Wynonna. "But you're going to tell me anyway, so what was it?"

"Seeing as I'm important to both you and Nicole, do I get to be _both_ of you guys' maid of honor?" questioned Wynonna seriously, and when Waverly looked like a fish out of water, she began laughing her ass off.

"Wynonna!" yelped Waverly, her entire face as red as a tomato. "It's way too early to think about that!"

"Oh, c'mon," drawled Wynonna with an eye roll. "You two have been through more than any couple who's been together for years! Time doesn't mean a damn thing, dude."

"So quality over quantity?" questioned Waverly with an arched eyebrow.

"Exactly," nodded Wynonna with a smirk.

"You're just looking forward to the booze and the cake." countered Waverly with a laugh.

"I firmly believe that anyone getting married only have a wedding for those two purposes." insisted Wynonna with a grin and a shrug. "Tell me one other reason, I dare you."

"Love?" Waverly quipped with an incredulous laugh.

"Whatever, like you need a wedding for that." waved Wynonna. "It's all in the cake and booze."

"Did someone say booze?" questioned Nicole groggily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart goes out to Victor... And Doc is so sweet, I love him. Dolls, he has a soft spot, I know it, and I will fight you on this. Are you glad you caught a glimpse at Nicole's past?


	12. Unexpected Visitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Earp sisters have a chat with Nicole, and an unexpected visitor arrives in Purgatory.

Waverly and Wynonna jumped at the croaky voice. Waverly was out of the chair in an instant with Wynonna right by her side. Nicole was leaning up in the bed, wiping her blurry eyes before she blinked a few times. When her eyes focused on the two sisters, she offered them a tired smile. Waverly leaned far over the rail, and kissed her girlfriend passionately, which Nicole returned with the same amount of enthusiasm.

When Waverly pulled back, Nicole opened her mouth, but was cut off. She was expecting words of love from Waverly. She thought maybe she'd cry tears of relief like she did on the dirty floor of the station all those days ago. Nicole hoped she would get another fervent kiss. One of the last things she expected (though in retrospect, it wasn't that unlikely) was an angry Waverly blowing up and going off on her.

"You could have died!" shrieked Waverly loud enough to make even Wynonna flinch.

"You know what, I've been on the receiving end of Waverly's angry rants, and let me tell you, it isn't pretty." warned Wynonna before she ducked away when her sister turned to glare at her. "Good job, Haught, you are an official member of the family once Waverly goes off on you, but I'm gonna go seeing as it isn't me."

"You're just going to leave me here?" questioned Nicole incredulously, but cowered underneath Waverly's stare.

"On second thought," said Wynonna thoughtfully. "it isn't _me_ who's in trouble... So you're right, I can't just leave you here... It'll be too amusing to pass up!"

Nicole gawked at Wynonna as she ungracefully plopped down into the chair with wide eyes. She shifted around, getting as comfortable as she could considering the chairs weren't good, and interlocked her fingers behind her head. When Waverly looked her way, she shook her hand vigorously as if to tell her to get the show on the road. Waverly pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a deep sigh before she slowly turned back to Nicole.

"Look," started Nicole quickly so she could get a word in before Waverly could begin her ranting. "I get that you're angry, but I had to to it."

"No, you didn't!" snapped Waverly, her hands in fists by her side. " _We_ could have severed the tie! _We_ could have helped you. _We_ -"

"- would have been in unnecessary danger." Nicole cut in. "I couldn't keep control for very long, and he could have hurt any of you... Just like he hurt Wynonna."

"Dude," interrupted Wynonna, leaning forward in her chair to look Nicole deep in the eye. "Like I said before, it's all good... You aren't the first person who tried to off me, and you surely won't be the last."

"That's not a comforting thought." said Nicole with a frown.

"Try being in my shoes," Wynonna joked with an easy-going grin.

"Nicole," said Waverly briskly. "Do you know how horrified I was when I couldn't stop the bleeding? I had your blood all over my hands, and I just... froze. I panicked and did nothing."

"Waverly," whispered Nicole gently, seeing the tears lining her eyes.

"No!" cried Waverly, sensing that her girlfriend was about to start comforting her, but she wouldn't allow that. "Don't you dare try to comfort me when I'm not the one who was tortured!"

Nicole flinched at the last word, but said, "Honestly, Waves, it's okay to panic... It's okay to be scared, I don't blame you for freezing up. And please stop feeling guilty for feeling something about what happened to me. You love me, and I love you, of course you'll feel scared or sad or angry on my behalf, so don't force your emotions down on my account."

"I have to comfort you, Nicole." insisted Waverly, her voice wavering. "How can I help you and myself at the same time? I can't and won't let you be the one to comfort me when it was you who was hurt."

"Why don't we help each other?" questioned Nicole with a small, inviting smile. "We have each other to lean on, babe."

"What am I? A next door neighbor?" drawled Wynonna with a grin.

"Actually, Mr. Bellmont is a lot nicer than you." teased Nicole with a smile of her own, and Wynonna scoffed.

"That hurts me right where it counts." Wynonna quipped, her hand over her heart.

"Where's that, because I know you don't have a heart." Nicole shot back before the two women started laughing, unable to keep up their banter anymore, and Waverly normally would have joined in, she really would have, but she was still too frazzled and on edge to find anything amusing.

"This whole thing could have been avoided, Nicole." spat Waverly, all the energy leaving her body as she felt emotionally drained. "If only you would have let us help you... You would have been free without almost killing yourself!"

"I don't regret it though." said Nicole quietly, her grin fading as she looked down, finding the sheets more interesting.

"What?" said Waverly just as quietly, falling back into the seat beside Wynonna, who was leaning forward to catch what was being said.

"I said I don't regret what I did." repeated Nicole, finally looking up to glance between the thunderstruck sisters. "Not only did it help me sever the tie between me and Bartholomew, it helped me figure some things out while I let go of the past."

"What?" repeated the Earp sisters simultaneously, their faces blank.

"I, uh, had another run in with Bobo in Hell." informed Nicole reluctantly. Waverly gasped, her hand over her mouth in an instant, and Wynonna's hand flew to Peacemaker at the mere mention of Bobo.

"Tell me what he did, and I'll go down to Hell just to shoot him again." said Wynonna through clenched teeth.

"That would kinda be pointless considering he's already down there." countered Nicole with an arched eyebrow.

"Dude, you're stealing my thunder." whined Wynonna, crossing her arms over her chest with a scowl on her face.

"Sorry," said Nicole sardonically. "And he was a dick, as usual, but I'm never one to back down in any fight, whether it be verbal or physical."

"Did he hurt you?" questioned Waverly lowly, her eyes glittering dangerously, and if the anger had been directed at her, Nicole would have been shaking.

"He tried to, boy did he try, but I think I'm the one who won." boasted Nicole with a smirk, and Wynonna whooped as she sent the other woman an impressed look.

"Now you really are family!" exclaimed Wynonna. "If you beat him, you're definitely an Earp in my eyes."

"Actually, in a weird way, I should thank him... He helped me realize things about myself and you guys, and I feel like there's one thing to cross off the list of things that fucked me up." said Nicole, shrugging her shoulders, but immediately regretted it when fire spread throughout her chest. "Ow!"

"How did _he_ help _you_?"questioned Wynonna, flabbergasted that Bobo was capable of helping _anyone_.

"I think it's time to tell you both about my "family"." said Nicole with a sigh.

...

A man with jet black hair slammed his car door closed once he got out of the car. He craned his neck so he could take in everything about the small town. People were walking all along the sidewalk since they found it a little pointless to drive everywhere when everything was literally next door.

People stopped to look at him, clearly not used to an outsider, and that alone was enough to make him uneasy. He hated small towns, and if everyone around these parts knew each other well enough to pick out the outsider from the rest, this was by far the smallest community he has ever been to.

The man reached into his pocket to pull out the slip of paper. He basically knew the scribbles written down by heart from the amount of times he had read it, but it was more about giving him something to do rather than focus on the stares being sent his way. He now regretted wearing anything with style seeing as the townsfolk here were firm believers in plaid and sturdy pairs of boots.

Two men were staring at him for a moment, and then after deciding on something, they approached the man with black hair.

"You lost?" asked the first man, reaching up to scratch at his beard.

"Um, just a bit actually." said the man with black hair.

"The name's Pete, this is Champ." informed the first man, pointing at the second man who was sizing him up.

"What's got you here anyway?" barked Champ, eyeing him warily. "You don't look like you fit in around here."

"I'm looking for someone, and what part of my expression says I give a damn about fitting in?" drawled the mysterious man.

"Who're you looking for?" Pete asked, grabbing Champ by his arm when he looked ready to pounce.

"Look, could you please direct me to the police station, and then I'll be on my way." insisted the man with black hair.

"What business do you have here?" spat Champ, angered at the jab that was sent his way.

"If I was interested in spreading that around, I would have told you by now." snapped the dark haired man.

"You've got some spine by coming into my town and talking to me like that." hissed Champ, flexing his biceps threateningly.

"Like what? Like you're stupid? Something tells me people talk to you like that a lot, don't they?" the man quipped with a smirk, and ducked away to avoid the fist that flew his way.

"You fucking shit!" snarled Champ, reeling his arm back to aim another punch at the outsider.

But Champ's arm was soon in the outsider's grip, and a fist collided with his nose. Before he could steel himself to attack again, his arm was twisted behind his shoulder blades, and he was lying flat on his stomach, his face pressed firmly into the road. People stopped to stare or snicker, but other than that, no one came to his aid. The outsider knelt down, placing his knee in Champ's back as he lowered himself far enough until Champ could look up into his eyes.

"Now, I'm going to ask one more time before I snap your wrist and your arm all at once." warned the outsider. "Where is the police station?"

"I think I can take you there." said another man who came out of nowhere.

The dark haired man turned around to see a plump man with a stetson on his head, and a badge was pinned to his shirt. The word 'Sheriff' was clear as day on the badge, and the outsider quickly released Champs' arm. Pete knelt down beside him while chuckling as he patted him on his back.

"I'm Sheriff Nedley, and whatever concerns you may have can be brought up with me." said the sheriff, his hands on his utility belt.

"You are just the man I'm looking for." remarked the dark haired man, pausing to watch the two men slink away, Champ glaring daggers into him as they left.

"What can I do for an outsider like yourself?" questioned Sheriff Nedley. "And don't mind anyone here, they aren't as... vacuous as Hardy Champ can be."

"I can handle myself around idiots like him." assured the outsider. "But maybe you can help me in finding my sister."

"And who might that be? I know just about everyone in this fine town."

"Nicole." said the outsider. "Nicole Haught... My name is Victor."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today, but Haught damn, right? Were you expecting that?


	13. Calling Off The Guard Dogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor's welcome isn't all that warm

Nedley blinked owlishly as Victor's words didn't quite register through his mind at first. His hands, which were loosely holding onto his utility belt, clenched until his knuckles paled considerably. His friendly demeanor was soon gone, and flipped like a light switch. His eyes narrowed as he eyed Victor up and down, trying to figure out where exactly he should start ripping into him.

"I wasn't aware that Haught had much family considering _no one_ has been around to visit since she's been here." huffed Nedley, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Well here I am," responded Victor, standing his ground under the sheriff's hard gaze.

"Sure has taken you some time to get your hide on down here, now don't you think?" countered Nedley, not ready to back down from defending his deputy.

"However long it's taken me is none of your concern." snapped Victor through gritted teeth. "Where is my sister? I know she works for your department."

"I look out for my own, son, and seeing as I know nothing of your intentions, I'm not inclined to give out any information on my deputy!" growled Nedley, his face flushing in anger.

"Considering she's my family, I'd say I have a right to know of her whereabouts and what not." spat Victor, slipping his hands into his pockets to prevent himself from earning his place in a jail cell. "And seeing as you're the sheriff around these parts, surely you should know that a family member has the right to know information on their sibling!"

"Look here, boy, you need to get something through that thick skull of yours because you are coming across as dim as Champ, and he's failed my exam about three damn times!" said Nedley dangerously. "Blood might be thicker than water, but it sure don't make a family. Miss Haught has enough family here to make up for what she lacks... This is her home now."

"Be that as it may," said Victor, forcing himself to cool down. "I've come just to talk to her, I don't plan on pulling her away from her... _family_."

"If you've come to Purgatory just to stir some shit up for her, I suggest you get in that car of yours and head on out without coming back to my town." warned Nedley, reaching up to flick his hat out of his eyes.

"Whatever business I have with her is between me and her." hissed Victor, despising the fact that he felt like a scolded child.

"Have you not been listening to a goddamn word I've been saying?" questioned Nedley incredulously. "You have a list of people to get through before you get to Nicole, and they won't be as _kind_ as I am being right now. So no, you don't have any private business with her."

Victor was about to blow up at the sheriff, but he took a deep breath, and held it. He rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand as he slowly released the breath, and when he finally felt calm enough to keep things civil, he opened his eyes. Getting on the sheriff's bad side would not be in his favor if he ever wanted to get to Nicole, so he'd try his best to prove himself to him.

"Yes, I find that I'm quite capable of hearing, thank you, and whoever I have to get through better be ready because a Haught is always determined, and they never give up on what they want."

"I would say that that must be in the genes, but Nicole is _nothing_ like you and your family." Nedley quipped shrewdly.

"Sir, I am trying to be civil with you, so I would appreciate it if you'd try on your part as well." remarked Victor warily.

Nedley eyed Victor thoughtfully. He had never met this young man before, and Nicole had never spoke of him. He had just come to his own conclusions, and he had to admit, he owed Victor at least a somewhat decent conversation. If not, he would be the pigheaded asshole that Wynonna had accused him of so many times before. But damn it, he'd be sure to be on his guard around the newcomer, and he wouldn't give him anything on his deputy without a damn good reason.

"I must admit, I do owe you a civil conversation, boy, but I will not be giving you anything on Haught unless I see that it fits." conceded Nedley, his glare still hard.

Victor wanted to fight the sheriff on it, but he knew it would be futile, and all it would probably just end with him in handcuffs by the time all was said and done. He opened his mouth, ready to agree to Nedley's rules, but a man in uniform came running up to Nedley with a thin line of sweat over his brow. He reached up to wipe it away with the sleeve of his issued jacket, and tried to even his breathing as he stood tall in front of his boss.

"Sir, you wanted to be informed if there was any difference in Haught's condition, and I was walking by the hospital-" said the deputy, and Nedley shook his head wildly.

"Ericson, that's enough,"

"-and then I decided to walk on in, ya know? To check on Haught just like you would want! I told myself that you'd want me to do that." grinned Ericson proudly.

"Ericson-"

"And so the lovely nurse told me that Nicole was awake, and I knew I had to get to you right away because-"

"Ericson! For fuck's sake!" bellowed Nedley, a vein in his neck was bulging as he glared at his deputy. "Since when do you _ever_ do as I say? Why do you pick _now_ of all times to-"

Victor was already dashing away from the sheriff and deputy, and never slowed down despite the shouts and calls they were yelling after him. He was pushing people out of the way before they could come to their senses and help out Nedley. He wasn't sure where the hospital was, but as soon as he got far enough away from the sheriff, he'd stop to ask for directions. But for now, he just ran.

...

Nicole was picking at her fingers after she told the Earp sisters everything she had to tell about her family. A part of her felt a flash of fear and regret, but that was the small part of her that her father still owned. She briefly wondered if her father would find out that she had confessed to anyone about how they lived before, but when a hand fell onto her shoulder she looked up.

A pair of lips were on hers in a flash, but before she had time to recover from her slight shock to reciprocate, they were gone. Nicole opened her eyes slowly, a little dazed, and found Wynonna patting her shoulder, and Waverly was leaning over the railing of the bed while staring at her lovingly. Wynonna moved her hand to ruffle her hair with a grin on her face.

"Not to worry there, Haught, you'll always have us." said Wynonna, moving to punch her on the shoulder when she felt like she said something too mushy, but stopped herself when Nicole flinched. "Right, you stabbed yourself... Forgot, my bad!"

"What Wynonna is trying to say," Waverly cut in with a pointed look at Wynonna. "is that we know it hurts because we're both extremely angry at those people, but we're your family, not them."

"If I meant it, I'd have said it." said Wynonna with a wink to which Waverly rolled her eyes lovingly.

Nicole sighed happily. The Earp girls were fun and amusing, and she couldn't have picked better people to be family with. As she watched the two tease and poke at each other, she felt something she hadn't quite felt for years. She felt right at home. Nicole was about to throw in her own joke to continue the banter, but there was a knock on the door that pulled everyone's attention to it.

Nedley stepped into the room. He was watching how easily the Earp sisters and Haught were laughing and having a good time (as much as someone could in a hospital room), and he loathed to break it up, but Nicole needed to know exactly who was in Purgatory because it would be a matter of time before he showed up, and it'd be quite the shock to Nicole if she wasn't warned.

"Looks like sleeping beauty finally decided to wake her lazy ass up." joked Nedley with a soft smile.

"I was expecting breakfast in bed, but apparently this isn't the Ritz." Nicole quipped with a lazy smirk.

"Like you could visit the Ritz on your salary," countered Nedley with a chuckle as he lowered himself into one of the abandoned chairs.

He fiddled with his hat, trying to find a way to start the conversation he didn't want to have. He puffed out his cheeks before he finally met her eyes.

"I, um, brought your cat over to my place." he said lamely as he showed off his hands to show the bite marks and scratches. "Feisty little tiger you got yourself there, but she warmed right up to Chrissy, so she's actually been the one taking care of her."

"Well, I did tell you that she doesn't like men." said Nicole with an apologetic look on her face.

"Just like her owner, right Haught?" grinned Wynonna, winking at Nicole.

"How long have you been sitting on that one, Earp?" countered Nicole with narrowed eyes.

"I'd rather not say." said Wynonna in a small voice, but her grin was still in place. "The point is, I'm funny as fuck, I crack myself up. You guys are so lucky to have me."

"If only we could figure out a way to get rid of you." Waverly piped up with a bright smile, and Nicole laughed while Wynonna pouted.

"Wow, Waves, you throw more shade than a cloudy day."

"Nicole," interrupted Nedley, finally bringing himself to mention Victor. "There was a man who arrived in Purgatory looking for you."

"Huh?" asked Nicole with furrowed brows, and Waverly and Wynonna tensed.

"Who was it?" they questioned simultaneously.

"Your little brother," said a deep voice from the doorway.

All heads turned quickly. Victor shifted uncomfortably underneath the stares, but kept his eyes on Nicole. He cringed as he took in all the damage, but before he could open his mouth to ask her what happened, there was an old gun in his face. Once his eyes uncrossed, he focused on the brunette woman who was giving him a withering glare. He would have been afraid by the look alone had he not been on the receiving end of worse looks.

"Get the fuck out," whispered Wynonna coldly, cocking the gun.

"I do believe that I've come all this way." said Victor defiantly. "I'm not leaving until I speak to my sister."

"Well she's my sister now, and I won't let you near her." spat Wynonna furiously. "I know all about you, and how much of a little dick you are."

"I can't argue with that." admitted Victor, slowly raising his hands as a show of peace. "But I've come to talk to her, and you can shoot me all you want, but I'm not going anywhere."

"You'll be going to Hell, and I can arrange a ticket for you."

"Nicole, could you please call off your guard dog?" pleaded Victor, refusing to look Wynonna's way anymore.

"Wynonna," called Nicole gently, her wide eyes still glued on Victor. "Down, girl."

"Nicole!" chimed in Waverly, glaring at Victor as well. "I thought we've just established that you have us now."

"Yeah, we did," agreed Nicole, still gazing at her brother. "And I never want to lose either of you two, but I never wanted to lose him either."

"Now, Nicole," Nedley cut in, glancing between the two Haughts. "Are you sure that he deserves an explanation? You don't have to talk to him, and if he refuses, I can send him on his way in handcuffs."

"Nicole," started Victor. "I understand that I might not _deserve_ this chance, but will you please allow me to have it anyway?"

"Why are you even here?" questioned Nicole warily. "Where's mom and dad?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you, so if you'd please send everyone on out-"

"No," interrupted Nicole, leveling Victor with a hard stare. "I want to know what's going on, but everyone is gonna stick around for it."

"Nic-"

"Take it or leave it," snapped Nicole with an arched eyebrow.

"Fine," said Victor through clenched teeth.

"Where's mom and dad... Let's start with that."

Victor sighed. He had everything he was going to say ready, but with everyone around, he felt less than thrilled to even speak. He always hated talking in front of an audience, unused to being the center of attention, and it didn't make him feel any better that at least three occupants of the room hated his guts. Maybe Nicole did to, but he had to prove himself, and he was too much of a Haught to back down from a challenge.

"Dad is still in Texas. He's still married to the job, and that's all fine and dandy seeing as he isn't married to his wife any more." he said bitterly.

"What?" gasped Nicole. "They divorced?"

"About time too... I've been hoping they would for years and just be done with it." said Victor with an angry sigh. "Mom is... I don't really know. She never settles in one spot long enough for me to go off and find her. I don't think she wants to be found though."

"What... happened?" questioned Nicole cautiously.

"It was about a few months after you moved away without telling anyone where you were going. You know how much dad loved to keep a good image, so once you gone and fucked up and just left, he eventually convinced himself that it didn't matter anymore... That he was embarrassed enough already so he might as well go and divorce his cheating wife."

"You really have a way with words, dumbass." drawled Nedley sardonically, feeling his anger rising at the mention of Nicole's mistake.

"She's giving you a chance to talk, so don't you dare speak to her of her mistake." snapped Waverly, the hand she was holding Nicole's with suddenly tightening.

"It was _his_ words, not mine." defended Victor with a frown, choosing to ignore the hand holding for the time being. "So that's how mommy and daddy dearests are doing."

"Okay... Then why are _you_ here?" Nicole asked suspiciously. "Aren't you afraid that it'll ruin your image as the star child?"

"I'm not the star anymore." corrected Victor quietly. "I haven't been fir some time now."

"Is that why you've come then? To run away like I did? Because this is my town, Victor, and there's no more room for another Haught." snapped Nicole, Wynonna, Waverly, and Nedley all nodding their heads in agreement.

"No, I didn't come to run away from them, I came to make it right with you." insisted Victor earnestly, ducking his head under everyone's stares.

"Like I'm supposed to believe that," drawled Nicole, uncertain as to where this burning anger was coming from all of a sudden. "You lose everything just like I did, and you expect me to feel sorry for you?"

"See, that's where we're different yet again, Nic." said Victor solemnly. "I didn't lose everything... I gave it up."

Nicole just stared at Victor, not really comprehending what he said, and when she finally did, she was still thunderstruck. Who would throw away everything that they ever wanted? He was so petty and jealous when he was younger because he was overlooked time and time again. So why did he just give it up so easily? He was aware of how much it could destroy a person because he saw how it was affecting Nicole day in and day out, so what possessed him to lose it anyway?

"What?" questioned Waverly, Wynonna, and Nedley simultaneously.

"Why?" whispered Nicole, gawking at him. "Why would you do that when you hated me so much because you wanted to feel special?"

"I never hated you, Nicole." argued Victor quietly. "I was always angry at you, and I might have grown to feel resentment toward always being in your shadow, but I never hated _you_."

"Well why the fuck did you act like it?" snapped Wynonna, not buying into his act.

"Because I _was_ jealous, and I _was_ bitter, and I couldn't handle it, and when I finally felt that spotlight, I _was_ petty." admitted Victor, rubbing the back of his neck without meeting anyone's eye. "I wanted you to feel exactly what I felt, and that was wrong of me."

"It didn't feel that good." said Nicole with a sigh.

"And I was wrong before at the game when I insinuated that what I felt was worse." Victor confessed sorrowfully. "I might not have had the attention, but I also never felt it being ripped away. I never felt the pressure that would have broke me down like I could see it was doing to you. I went unseen for so many long years, but if I knew then what I know now, I'd have been content with it."

"You should never feel content with being nothing more than a shadow." said Waverly in a whisper. Wynonna had her arm over her shoulder in an instant.

"Being judged was a lot better than being expected of great things that I knew I could never live up to." countered Victor, glancing in Waverly's direction for a split-second before looking back at Nicole. "I couldn't be myself because if I did, it'd only disappoint mom and dad. I was never a shadow, I was just me, and I should have been happy with that, but I wasn't, and I took that out on you, and I'm so fucking sorry, and I know I can never say it enough to prove to you how much I am, so I'll show you."

"Wha-" started Nicole, but Victor pulled something out of his pocket.

"Dad always loved being a cop, and so do you, but I don't want to be... I never wanted to do that, but dad said he knew a sure way to get me onto the crew with him so long as I give in my resume. I swear I have to spray it with febreze so they won't smell the bullshit, but dad said he's the sheriff now, so he'll give me a position no matter what." said Victor, unfolding the paper.

Nicole wasn't sure what she expected, but she could say that she was still shocked when he ripped the paper into tiny little pieces before he threw it away into the trash bin. He smiled to himself.

"I'm not going to hand in a resume I literally typed up in five minutes just because it'll make him happy." insisted Victor with conviction. "I don't care that I'll have to work hard to make myself happy because I'm tired of making decisions that revolve around his happiness, and that's exactly how I gave up everything."

"How?"

"I gave it up when I told him that I wanted to be just like you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How you feeling towards Victor now? Love him? Hate him? Understand him? Undecided? Let me know


	14. Fatherly Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Earp girls have a problem with Victor, and all the tension is making Nicole uneasy, which Nedley seems to sense. Nicole and Nedley have another one of their one-on-one talks.

The silence that followed was deafening. It was a funny thought how silence could be so quiet that it's loud. The tension was a whole other story. It was a quietly lurking intruder that crept up and strangled them all, and no one could fight against it. All that could be heard was the heart monitor attached to Nicole, and it was blaring out her uneasiness, putting it out on display.

It seemed to shake something inside Victor, and he swallowed thickly underneath the heavy stares. Waverly was glancing uncertainly between Nicole and her brother. Wynonna was staring suspiciously at him, seemingly not impressed by his words, and Nedley was scratching the back of his neck while clearing his throat uncomfortably. And Nicole... All she could really do was stare, open-mouthed, at Victor.

"Well," started Victor when it was obvious that no one else was going to say anything. "I've told my story... What happened to you?"

Nicole closed her mouth, and looked away quickly with a look of pain on her face. She didn't really want to think about what happened, let alone speak about it. Of all people she wouldn't want to tell her gruesome tale to, Victor would certainly be on the list, and how could she even begin? He knew nothing of revenants, and she wasn't at liberty to discuss them. Thankfully, Wynonna seemed to sense her anxiety, and stepped up.

"That is none of your concern, and before you give me the 'She's my sister, I have a right to know' line, you really don't have any rights to anything." said Wynonna with a nonchalant shrug. "And if that inconveniences you, I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that it's not my problem, therefore, I don't give a shit."

"I can see that I won't be getting through to you." drawled Victor with an eye roll. "I don't think I'm getting through to any of you. Nicole?"

Nicole looked up at him, uncertainty shining in her eyes, and then she looked away from him. It sent a jolt through Victor's chest, but he nodded, accepting defeat, but that didn't mean he'd give up so easily. He'd respect her wish for space and privacy, but he wasn't ready to leave quite yet, so summoning back his resolve, he turned away from the women, and glanced at the sheriff.

"If you could point me in the direction of a motel or something, it'd be highly appreciated."

"Did you hear Nicole?" barked Wynonna. "She doesn't want you around!"

"If you hadn't noticed, she didn't say anything." corrected Victor somberly.

"I think silence speaks a higher volume than any word could." countered Waverly, taking a step closer so she was standing beside Wynonna.

"Fine," said Victor through gritted teeth. "Nicole, tell them, tell _me_ , do you want me to leave?"

Nicole wouldn't look at anyone, unsure of what to say or do. Victor was always asking her questions she wasn't ready to answer, and the Earp sisters were always tearing him down a peg before Nicole could even think. They were all asking her for her opinion, but to her, it felt like no matter what she picked, someone wouldn't like her decision, and the thought of upsetting someone was upsetting her.

In her mind, she had no say in the matter because no matter what, Victor wasn't going to leave, she knew this, but before she could tell him to leave or stay, Wynonna or Waverly had an answer or retort for him before she could get her point across. While Victor and the Earps were glaring at each other, Nedley seemed to read up on her expressions and body language. He could sense something was wrong, and if the sudden spike of her heart monitor was anything to go by, he needed to break the verbal fight up.

"See? Silence speaks-" started Victor triumphantly, but Nedley cut him off.

"That's enough, all of you!"

Every pair of eye was on him in shock. They hadn't expected Nedley to start yelling, but by the look of irritation on his face, his blood had to have been simmering just under the surface before it boiled over. Wynonna, Waverly, and Victor all opened their mouths, but he shook his head.

"No, you've all been talking plenty! None of you have allowed Nicole to even talk, and this is about her!" bellowed Nedley, his face flushing in anger.

"I've been trying, it's those two who-" argued Victor, but Nedley was having none of his weak excuses.

"Boy, you have been a thorn in my side from the moment you've gotten here, and just because you say a few charming words and tear up some piece of paper don't mean a thing to me! You need to man up, and start proving yourself by some real actions, and fighting with a couple of girls sure ain't helping your case." spat Nedley. "So long as Nicole gives me a verbal confirmation, I will take you to the motel my damn self, but if she so much as hesitates, I am taking you out of Purgatory in the cruiser if that's what it takes."

"Alright!" cheered Wynonna, fist bumping the air. "Go Ned-"

"Don't you even start with me, Wynonna." warned Nedley, wiping the grin off of Wynonna's face. "I understand that you are protecting a part of your family, someone you care about, but this is her choice, and so far, all I've hear was you shooting everything down with some sarcastic comment. You don't have to like him, hell, I hate this bastard, too-"

"Um," cut in Victor, but was soon interrupted with a couple glares.

"-but whether we like it or not," continued Nedley as though he was never cut off. "whatever Nicole decides, we will stand by her decision, and we will _not_ make her feel bad, or make her feel like she made the wrong choice! Do you understand me?"

"Yes," grumbled Wynonna, her arms crosses over her chest.

"I don't think you heard me since I didn't hear a real answer, so let me try this again." snapped Nedley. "Do I make myself perfectly clear?" His voice was louder this time around.

"I said yes!" exclaimed Wynonna, throwing her hands up over her head with a look of anger on her face. "I'm twenty-seven years old! I am not a child that you can scold!"

"Really?" countered Nedley coolly, but he was hiding his amusement at her antics. "The fact that you have to tell me that speaks volumes on how childish you're being right now."

"He's got you there." giggled Waverly, but she swallowed up her laughter when Nedley turned to her.

"I think all of you are putting pressure on Nicole, and she doesn't need anymore distress than she already has, so I think I need to have a private conversation with my deputy."  said Nedley, and looked kindly over to Nicole while ignoring the arguments. "As long as that's alright with you, Nicole."

Nicole didn't look at anyone, but slowly nodded her head. That was all Nedley needed, so he hoisted himself out of the chair, and was guiding everyone out of the room. They went reluctantly, only because that was what Nicole wanted, and not because they found him intimidating.

""All of you need to take a lap, cool off." suggested Nedley, carefully closing the door behind himself. "You all separate, I don't want any fighting, ya hear? I don't want to arrest anyone, but it'd look bad on me if I showed any favoritism. So you all go on while I have a talk with Nicole, but no one is to leave, especially you, you little monger."

Victor scowled, but didn't say anything. He nodded once, quickly, and then he turned on his heel. He stalked down some random hall, and when it was obvious that Nedley was wanting them to move along, Wynonna and Waverly took off down the hall in the opposite direction.

"If we round back around, we could listen in on what they're saying!" suggested Wynonna with a wiggle of her eyebrow.

"Wynonna, no." said Waverly with a small shake of her head.

"Wynonna, yes," replied Wynonna, ready to turn back around, but Waverly caught her by the crook of her arm.

"If Nicole doesn't want us in there to listen, then we won't listen in." countered Waverly seriously. It sent a pang of hurt in her chest that Nicole didn't really want her in there, but she understood how the presence of your partner could make you clam up about some things.

"When you put it that way," muttered Wynonna, stalking off down the hall, and away from Nicole's room. "You make me sound like a terrible person."

"You don't need me to make you look like a terrible person." Waverly quipped with a small chuckle.

"Careful there Waves, I might rub off on you!" exclaimed Wynonna with fake horror before she pulled Waverly into a bone-crushing hug. "I'm rubbing off on you! I'm rubbing off on you!"

"Wynonna!"

...

When Nedley closed the door gently, Nicole was leaning back in the bed, just staring out the window. The sunlight was shining all over her face, and for a moment, she looked exactly like a haunted angel with her fiery red hair. Nedley took a seat in the chair, but he brought it forward so he was closer that before. He figured it'd be smart to stay quiet until she was ready to talk about whatever she was comfortable talking about. After a minute, she finally spoke in a voice so quiet, he had to lean forward to hear.

"I don't know what to do."

Nedley sighed grimly before he ran his hand over his face. He was twirling his black stetson in his hands, but he eventually set it aside in the other chair. Nicole wouldn't look at him, and he figured she was afraid to see his reaction to whatever she said.

"Look, Nicole... There is no wrong answer here." insisted Nedley.

"But no matter what, it'll make someone mad." countered Nicole, still looking out the window.

"Whoever judges your decision can fuck off." growled Nedley, and Nicole finally looked over to stare at him. "I'm serious Nicole, if they don't like it, too bad."

"But I just got a new family. I don't want to upset them." whispered Nicole, her voice trembling. "And Victor... I've wanted to see him for so long, but I couldn't. I could never bring myself to even call."

"Families fight all the time, that's what makes them a family." said Nedley.

"I thought it was love that made a family." countered Nicole with a small smile.

"Yeah, well... That too, but mainly it's the fighting." joked Nedley, enjoying that he was getting a reaction from his deputy. "My point is, you can't make decisions based solely on the desire to avoid confrontation with Wynonna or Waverly. There will always be something to fight about, so right now, you need to think about what _you_ want, rather than what anyone else wants."

"What if I don't know what I want?" asked Nicole quietly, staring wide eyed at Nedley as if he had an answer for her.

"Then you take your time in deciding what it is you want." responded Nedley quickly. "This is an important decision that will affect your life in a big way, and I don't say that to put more pressure on you, I say that so you can understand how important this is."

"I don't-" started Nicole with a stricken look on her face.

"Don't you dare continue that sentence if it ends in "want to hurt anyone.", you understand?" questioned Nedley, bending down to meet Nicole's eye when she hung her head. "No one can make this choice for you, and it doesn't matter if what you go with hurts anyone's feelings."

"But it does though!" countered Nicole loudly, her eyes wild. "This does affect other people, and not just me!"

"Haught," said Nedley seriously. "You are so selfless, and usually, that's a great quality in a person, it's admirable, but there's a time to be selfish or else you'll be taken advantage of or stepped on."

"I can handle myself just fine." snapped Nicole, glaring at him.

"You think I'd have hired you if I thought otherwise?" questioned Nedley, arching his eyebrow. "I know you can handle yourself when the situation calls for it, but when it's a personal affair, you think of others too much rather than taking your own feelings into consideration."

"How can I think of my own feelings when I don't even know how I feel about this?" Nicole sighed, rubbing her eyes. "It's just easier to think of what they want."

"Really? Because it seems a lot harder in my opinion." remarked Nedley, rubbing his chin. "You have to choose whether to agree with Wynonna, Waverly, or Victor, and it'd just be a lot easier to go with what you want. So let's just take this one little step at a time, okay?"

"Okay." mumbled Nicole quietly.

"How do you feel about seeing Victor, and be honest because I won't be mad."

Nicole stared down at her hands, which were folded in her lap. How _did_ she feel about seeing him again? Seiing her brother brought about many unhappy memories, and seeing that almost all of their interactions were bad before, there weren't many good memories to remember. However, she could also remember the early years where the attention of the parents didn't matter.

She could vaguely recall those memories of him as a baby. With a barely-there father, and a wild mother, it was up to Nicole to watch over him, and make sure her homework was finished for the school day that was to come the very next day. She could remember the way they would team together to get things that they wanted.  There was one time that Nicole lied on the floor, and screamed bloody murder like she had been hurt, just So Victor could swipe two cookies from the jar. They'd giggle together as they munched away on the cookies as they formed more ideas to sneak different things.

They used to be so close, as close as siblings could be, but then once she had shown signs of being gifted in school, she no longer had time to spend with him between her extra work, and the attention being showered on her. Just before that point in time, they were the closest they've ever been, and it was nice while it lasted. It also hard for Nicole to full out reject Victor.

"I'm torn." said Nicole simply, without feeling.

"Between what?"

"He's spent the last few years doing everything he could to show that he was in the spotlight just to throw it in my face, and that hurt." muttered Nicole in a strangled voice.

"And?" prodded Nedley gently.

"We used to have good times, I basically raised him for the first few years of his life!" shouted Nicole, her emotions getting the best of her. "And even though he started feeling resentment, I've always loved him."

"Sounds to me like you've had more bad years than good years." remarked Nedley quietly, hoping the gentleness of his voice would soften the blow. "You already know everyone's view on this, but it's up to you on whether he deserves to prove himself or not. If you want, I will drive him to the motel in town, but if you want him gone, the entire Purgatory police department will make sure he's gone."

"I don't think I'm ready to forgive him yet... I don't want to hear anything else from him right now." whispered Nicole, but continued quickly when Nedley stood from the chair. "But I don't want him to leave just yet!"

Nedley nodded before saying, "I'll drive him over there right now."

He got to the doorway before Nicole called his name. When he turned back to her, her inner struggle was clear as day on her face.

"Am I doing the right thing?" she asked, fearful of disappointing the only father figure she had.

Nedley could hear the insecurity in her voice. And he walked to the side of her bed. She cautiously looked up into his eyes, and before she could stutter anything else out, he pulled her into a gentle hug, careful of her injuries. Nedley could feel little wet spots seeping through the front of his uniform, but he didn't care. He was used to it from holding a variety of crying women for some reason or another, whether it was on the job or at home.

"Of course you're doing the right thing." insisted Nedley delicately. "If it's what makes you happy, you'll be doing the right thing."

"I know you're disappointed." sniffled Nicole. "I know you hate him."

"Hate is such a strong word." said Nedley with a grimace. "But I am a big, strong man with big, strong feelings, so you're right, maybe I do hate him."

"See?" giggled Nicole, still sniffling. "I knew it."

"I don't care for him, but you can never disappoint me on this." countered Nedley, rubbing a hand over Nicole's back comfortingly. "In fact, I'm proud of you. You finally chose what _you_ wanted because it's what makes _you_ happy. I'm too darn proud to ever feel disappointment."

Nicole went silent again, and the sheriff knew it was because she was too choked up to force out anything else. Instead of prompting her to talk any more, Nedley chose to continue holding his deputy until she calmed down. Maybe he still had to drive Victor to the motel. Maybe he still had a shift to look forward to after his break, which was coming to an end in about half an hour. There were a lot of things on his plate, but for right now? He was exactly where he was needed at that moment, and he wasn't going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was Nedley's speech this time? Is he (or should I say, am I) still great at giving advice? Let me know, and let me know your thoughts on how Nicole's going about this? Should she have sent him on his way? Or are you happy with letting him stay but staying away from her for now?


	15. Sick, But It Makes Me Feel Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Victor flashback appears, and the anger towards Bartholomew that's been boiling inside Nicole finally rears its ugly head.

"That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" exclaimed Mr. Haught wildly, running his hands through what was left of his graying hair. He wasn't too old, but the stress was eating away at his hair.

Victor's happy grin vanished in an instant. When he told his father that he was interested in going off to study arts in college, he expected... well, something at least better than _this_. He was hoping for some pride or a firm handshake, or maybe even a quiet nod of the head! What he didn't expect, was an angry glare being shot his way.

"W-What?" stammered Victor, sure that he had heard wrong. "Isn't college important? I _want_ to go! I buckled down on my studies exactly like mom said!"

"Yeah, college is important," agreed Mr. Haught. "So long as you're going for something _important_."

"You don't understand how hard I've put effort into pieces! I've shown people my work! I could actually apply for scolarsh-" insisted Victor, his eyes pleading just as he was.

"Don't you _dare_ say anything about scholarships!" snapped Mr. Haught angrily. "Scholarships don't work in our family!"

"I wouldn't be able to afford college otherwise." countered Victor coolly, his eyes narrowed. "Just because Nicole lost her chance doesn't mean I will!"

"And ya know what?" his father spat. "She had a chance at a scholarship for something that had any meaning! That's what makes you two so damn different! She failed at doing something worthwhile, but you're succeeding in something useless and pathetic."

Victor just stared at his father. His breathing was heavy, a clear sign that he was worked up, and that's when something occurred to Victor. No matter how bad Nicole failed, she'd always be better than Victor if he accomplished so many things in something that his father deemed "a waste of time". Before he could even think of a retort, his father took in a deep breath to calm himself, and gave Victor an obviously fake smile.

"Why don't we just forget you ever brought that crap up, and then I'll offer you a proposition." said Mr. Haught, running his fingers over his balding head yet again.

Victor, who was accustomed to swallowing down his thoughts and emotions just to please the man in front of him, closed his eyes to take a calming breath. The application to his choice of college was gripped firmly (yet with intense care) in his right hand. Everything was filled out properly, and he did it with his favorite ball point pen because this was special and a big deal.

"What are you proposing?" Victor finally brought himself to ask, and before he could pull away, the application was ripped out of his hand. "What are you doing?!"

"You're gonna throw this shit in the trash." said Mr. Haught before he ripped the application to shreds. "Now, I'm gonna give you an application for my department at the station, and don't worry, I've got you a job so long as you make yourself look good on here."

The wink that he sent Victor made him sick to his stomach. He didn't want to become an officer like his father and his sister. He had to always tread on eggshells just so he could avoid disappointing his father, and as he pictured his gloomy future as an officer to make his father happy, he realized that he couldn't live a life just to make others happy.

As he watched the remains of his college application crumble to the floor, something finally struck Victor. He was glad that Nicole got away from the clutches of their father. He hadn't heard nor seen from her since she up and left, but he figured that whatever she was doing was a lot better than constantly shoving down her own feelings just so their father would be satisfied enough to parade their achievements around to make others envious.

Victor could always print out another application, but his father's words were cutting him deeply. Before he decided if he wanted to go to college or not, he had to decide whether or not the decision was worth his father's love and pride. After realizing that he actually had to choose his own happiness or his father's, he also realized how harsh he was on Nicole. She already had herself and their father to think about, it was unfair of him to put anymore on her.

 _Oh, god... What have I done?_ Victor internally screamed to himself. He was the world's biggest brat, he finally realized, and now he felt even worse. He should have seen that he would have been more happy in the background. That's where he was allowed to be himself without angering anyone even more than he already was... He didn't give them any expectations.

"Oh! Ya know what is pretty convenient? I actually have a copy of the application here at home!" grinned Mr. Haught, pulling Victor from his inner struggles. "There was a young man who wanted to apply for the job, but I'll just have to tell him the position's been filled."

"Dad," said Victor exasperatedly. "That's unfair! He wants it more than I do!"

"Life's unfair, Victor." growled Mr. Haught before he grabbed his son by the collar of his shirt. "And I thought I made myself perfectly clear that you're gonna get that job, and you're gonna at least _act_ like you want it!"

"Yes, sir," hissed Victor, tearing himself free of his grasp, and scowled when his father passed by him to go find the application, and after hearing him curse and grumble for a few minutes, he finally returned.

"There, fill it out." ordered Mr. Haught, handing him a pen.

Victor began filling it out reluctantly, using words he would _never_ describe himself with. He finally reached the last blank before his hand trembled. He glanced up at his father hesitantly.

"Dad, mom-" started Victor, desperately trying to find a way out of it.

" _Don't speak of her!_ " snarled Mr. Haught so viciously, that Victor felt a moment of fear before he assured himself that he was bigger and stronger and could fight him off now. "Ever since I threw that cheating whore-"

"Don't talk about her like that!" snapped Victor, feeling defensive for his mother even though she was a cheater... No one, not even his father (especially his father) had the right to smear her name through the mud.

"Oh?" chuckled Mr. Haught bitterly, his eyes filled with fire. "You're gonna side with _her_? What's next? You gonna side with Nicole?"

"Don't talk about her either... You have no right to, and neither do I." whispered Victor coldly.

"Since when do you side with Nicole?" questioned Mr. Haught, actually confused for a moment before he turned angry.

"You are a horrible fucking person, and you've lost the most important things a man could ever be so lucky to have!" spat Victor, his face reddening from both anger and exhilaration at finally stepping up to the man he was always so terrified of. "You lost your wife and your daughter."

"It's your whoring mother's-" started Mr. Haught, glaring down at his son.

"No!" bellowed Victor, cutting him off. "You lost mom because you never showed her you loved her! She shouldn't have cheated, there's never an excuse for that, but _goddamn it_! You didn't deserve her or Nicole anyway!"

Mr. Haught had Victor pinned to the wall by his neck, and was glaring holes into him as he punched a hole into the wall right beside his head. He grinned triumphantly when Victor flinched instinctively. Victor might have finally found his backbone, but he'd show his son that he shouldn't show it to him.

"You think I _wanted_ them? _They_ didn't deserve _me_." barked Mr. Haught, his eyes blazing. "Give me one reason why I should keep you around? You're showing me signs of your mother and sister, so why should I put up with you anymore?"

"Don't worry, I don't want to stay around you anymore." choked Victor, kicking his leg out, effectively getting his father below the belt. "And I'm glad I'm showing signs of Nicole. It means I'm finally on my way to being my _own_ person; someone who isn't controlled by an asshole like you!"

Before Mr. Haught could even respond (not that he could, he was too busy holding himself and groaning), Victor was out of the door. He stuffed the application into his back pocket, and started his car with no destination in mind. He just drove and drove, and then filled his gas tank, and then drove some more. He all day and night to think about things, and he had to make some things right. He just had to.

...

Waverly sighed before she grabbed at Nicole's hand for the fifth time. Nicole kept subconsciously scratching at her bandaged wrists, and Waverly took it upon herself to stop her every time she caught her. Nicole turned to her girlfriend, her eyes clear instead of glazed over like before, and smiled widely when Waverly brought both her wrists up to place gentle kisses on them.

"What's got you thinking so hard? You're overthinking things, and that's my job." teased Waverly with giggle, and it melted Nicole's heart.

"Several things," answered Nicole simply, and laughed at the unimpressed look she was receiving. "I'm thinking about Victor, and you and Wynonna... Even Nedley."

"You seemed a lot better after your talk with him." remarked Waverly, running her fingers through Nicole's hair, smiling when the deputy leaned into her touch.

"You want me to tell you what was said." Nicole said rather than questioned with a knowing grin, her eyes closed.

"What makes you say that?" questioned Waverly innocently.

"Because I know you and your never ending curiosity." replied Nicole, finally opening her eyes to gaze up at Waverly. "It's one of the many things I love about you."

"And your charm is one of the many things I love about you." chuckled Waverly, leaning forward to give Nicole a chaste, but sweet kiss. "I'm also curious as to when you can get out of here."

"Oh?" Nicole asked with an arched eyebrow. "And why is that?"

"Because I can't wait to take you home with me." said Waverly, biting her lower lip.

"Why, Miss Earp, are you trying to seduce me?" countered Nicole, staring at the bottom lip trapped by teeth, and almost moaned.

"There's no "trying" when it comes to seducing with me." Waverly quipped, bringing their faces closer. "I _am_ seducing you."

"I think I like that you're seducing me." whispered Nicole, their lips brushing, and then she leaned forward.

"I leave you two alone for a minute, and you're already taking advantage of my sister?" exclaimed Wynonna, startling them both.

"I think your sister's the one taking advantage of me." joked Nicole, leaning back in the bed to shoot a grin to Wynonna. "Not that I'm complaining."

" _I'm_ complaining!" countered Wynonna, throwing her arms into the air.

"You're always complaining, Wynonna." said Waverly with a smile, but she was actually ticked off at her sister for interrupting her moment alone with her girlfriend.

"It's a skill of mine." shrugged Wynonna. "I can find something to complain about in everything, and it took years of practice."

"The art of bitching?" chuckled Nicole, shaking her head incredulously. "I'm pretty sure I could give you a run for your money."

"Let the best bitch-er win." said Wynonna, laughing along with Nicole.

"Nedley took Victor to the motel." informed Waverly uselessly after they all stopped laughing, Nicole already knew.

"Yeah," said Nicole uncomfortably, he body tensing at the mention of her brother. She didn't want to talk about him and her decision around the Earps.

"Hey," said Waverly gently, running her fingers through Nicole's hair again in hopes of calming her. "Wynonna and I want to let you know that we're sorry we made you feel like we'd be mad at you if you wanted him to stay."

"Yeah, Haughtstuff, we're sorry you felt like you didn't have a choice." agreed Wynonna with an easygoing smile.

Something snapped inside Nicole at those choice of words. She couldn't recall where the sudden rush of anger came from, but all she did know was that it was boiling and blistering inside of her. She reached up to push away Waverly's hand, and to her own surprise, she snarled at the both of them.

"You're right, no one gave me a choice." she spat. "You know who else didn't give me a choice or a say or let me be in control? Bartholomew."

Waverly gasped while Wynonna gawked at her like she grew another head. Nicole felt a little guilty about blowing up at them out of nowhere. Of course they were better than Bartholomew. Almost _everyone_ was better than him, but he wasn't around anymore for her to unleash this deep-seeded anger on, and it was so very wrong to put it on the Earps, but in that moment, Nicole relished in their looks of shock.

"Nicole-" whispered Waverly, but was cut off by a bitter chuckle.

"What? You finally want me to talk now? Is that it?" countered Nicole harshly, and Waverly winced.

"That's unfair, Nicole, don't take your anger out on Waverly when she has done nothing but worry and cry for you." snapped Wynonna, her own anger rising at the look of hurt on her sister's face.

"Just... go away!" spat Nicole, regretting it immediately.

"Fine, I think you need some time to cool down... You're too haughtheaded right now."

"Seriously?" asked Nicole, a chuckle finding its way out of her without her consent. "You're gonna make that joke now?"

"I saw the opportunity, and I took it... sue me." shrugged Wynonna with a grin before she became more grim and serious.  "But honestly though, you do need time to yourself so you can figure out that since Bartholomew isn't here for you to take your anger out on, you can't just take it out on other people."

"Seems a bit hypocritical, doesn't it?" drawled Nicole, rolling her eyes.

"Take my words to heart, not my actions." muttered Wynonna. "C'mon, Waves, say goodbye to your girlfriend."

"Bye." whispered Waverly, slipping away from Nicole.

"Wait!" called Nicole, her hand outstretched, wanting to pull Waverly back, but couldn't swallow her pride enough to ask her to stay with her and never leave. "Are you gonna come back?"

Nicole hated the way her voice sounded so small and how bad it shook, but it was too important to say to not say it at all. Waverly paused in the doorway, Wynonna just outside, listening in. The insecurity in Nicole's voice was enough for Waverly to let go of her small moment of hurt and anger, but she didn't walk back into the room.

"Of course..." said Waverly, sounding like she was hesitating on something, and when she looked over to Wynonna, she decided to throw caution to the wind. "I still have to take you home after."

Nicole's face flushed, but she was smiling slightly. She could hear Wynonna asking repeatedly what Waverly meant, and by her disgusted outcry, Nicole had to guess and say that Waverly told her exactly what it meant. Then came the shame that swirled deep inside her gut. She shouldn't have blown up at them, they weren't the ones who kidnapped her. They weren't the ones who tortured her. They weren't the ones who possessed her, but for a moment, she didn't care. It was sick, but she wanted someone to hurt like she hurt. And what made her even more revolted with herself was that it made her feel better.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Nicole is finally showing signs of how her kidnapping is affecting her... It sucks, but it'd be unrealistic if she was just suddenly better. How'd you like the flashback? Was it insightful? Not? Let me know how you felt about the chapter.


	16. You're Gonna Be The Death Of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole gets released, and she nearly gets off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you continue reading, I'd like to take the time to thank everyone who's taken the time to read this story and leave comments and kudos. It's you guys who give me motivation to write when I feel too irritated or too down to feel any sort of creativity, so thank all of you guys, you're the best!

Nicole frowned as she sat at the edge of the hospital bed. It had been about two week since she'd been admitted into the hospital for stabbing herself to sever the tie between Bartholomew and herself. It had been about twelve days since Victor had come into Purgatory in search of her, and twelve days since she'd last seen him. It had been almost a full twelve days since Nicole had snapped at Waverly and Wynonna. It had been that much time since she felt so guilty.

Waverly had insisted that it was fine, that Nicole was bound to finally lose it at some point, but that didn't excuse her actions or make her feel any less guilty about taking her unexpected anger out on them. So that's what she was doing now: allowing herself to swim around in her self-loathing, and she was about to drown in it until a soft hand began running through her hair.

"Are you still on that?" questioned Waverly, taking a seat on the bed next to Nicole. "I told you, it's fine."

"But it's not, Waverly, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." exclaimed Nicole with a grimace. "I don't even know where the anger came from, it just happened."

"It was slowly building inside of you." insisted Waverly, moving to take Nicole's right hand with both of hers. "You had your anger at Bartholomew, then you had your anxiety from seeing Victor out of the blue for the first time in years, then you had your frustration at feeling like you didn't have a choice... I understand, Nicole."

"Still," muttered Nicole fretfully. "I shouldn't have taken it out on people I care about."

"No, you're right on that account." conceded Waverly with a small smile. "Tell you what, I'll let the first time slide, but the next time you take your anger out on me or Wynonna, you'll have another thing coming, got it?"

Nicole quickly nodded her head in agreement, and accepted the gentle kiss from Waverly. Nicole was deemed well enough to be released from the hospital with the strict instructions to take it easy for a couple weeks. Nedley was there to assure the doctor that she wasn't allowed to step foot in the police station until the doctor himself gave permission otherwise. Nicole had already signed all the required paperwork, so she was free to go, but she was too content with her position with Waverly to leave.

Waverly's promise of taking her home was currently at the front of Nicole's mind, and she was thankful that she wasn't attached to anymore machines that would be blaring at that exact moment. The kiss deepened, and the sound of Waverly moaning and panting was enough to spur her on. Her fingers were currently in Waverly's hair, and just when her body wanted to go any further, a sharp pain seared through her shoulder, making her yelp and groan in shock and pain.

"Are you alright?" exclaimed Waverly anxiously, her hand still resting on Nicole's throat.

"Yeah, I'm fine." assured Nicole through gritted teeth, but the way she was holding her shoulder told Waverly a different story. "Really, I just need to take it slowly."

"You'll be in safe hands." said Waverly, her voice dropping an octave, as she smirked at Nicole. "I'll just have to be gentle then."

Before Nicole could stammer out a response and call it a smooth comeback, Wynonna, Doc, and Dolls came bursting into the room, and for a moment, Nicole was grateful that she and Waverly hadn't gone any further like she wanted before. She briefly wondered whether or not the Homestead had lockable doors.

"Your face is lookin' a little haught there, Haught... What's got you thinking so hard?" Wynonna quipped, and evil grin on her face, and Nicole's face turned an even darker shade of red.

"I'd say it's kinda haught in here." joked Waverly with a giggle, and laughed harder when Nicole gave her an exasperated look.

"Why, you do look a bit haught under the collar, Miss Haught." Doc chimed in, but hid his eyes under the brim of his hat when Nicole rounded on him.

"Whatever you're thinking about must be way haught." remarked Wynonna with a large grin, and Nicole's eyes were wild, making her look deranged.

"You're look like a haught mess, deputy." commented Dolls monotonously, and Wynonna finally lost it.

She doubled over with laughter, one hand on her knee, and the other was pointing at Nicole. Part of Nicole wasn't liking the fact that she was part of a running joke for the moment, but the other part of her wanted to join in and relax. She she went with the latter, and she shook her head with a warm smile. She'd let them have their fun poking at her because truthfully, she was enjoying it as well.

"Looks to me like you're enjoying yourself, Earp." said Nedley, who just walked through the door.

"Sir, aren't you on duty?" Nicole asked, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I am," replied Nedley with a small nod of the head. "There was a fight that broke out at Shorty's, and I had to bring the troublemaker who started it to get an x-ray."

"Lemme, guess," drawled Wynonna. "It was Champ, wasn't it?"

"How'd you ever guess?" Nedley asked sarcastically. "I just wanted to stop by and see you off before I take him to spend the night at the station. Maybe it'll sober him up."

Nicole caught sight of a sulking Champ in the hallway, and said, "He must've had one helluva fight to get dinged up that bad."

"Nah, he just had a broken finger, the fading black eye is from none other than your brother." corrected Nedley, a small trace of a smirk on his lips. "He got his ass handed to him by two different Haughts."

"Victor attacked him?" gasped Nicole. "Why?"

"Same reason _everyone_ wants to fight Champ," countered Nedley with an eye roll. "He can act like a real dick sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Wynonna quipped, staring out into the hallway at Champ. "Good for Victor... I don't like him, but we've got a streak going right now. Two Haughts, let's see if he gets a third."

"I hope not." shuddered Nicole. Having her brother in Purgatory was enough, and she wasn't looking forward to anymore family reunions.

"Maybe Waverly could punch him after you two get married, and then we'll scratch a third Haught off the list." shrugged Wynonna, and Nicole and Waverly began to sputter.

"Wynonna!"

"It's _way_ too early to think about... that."

"Nicole's right, too early."

"Not that I'm totally opposed to that in the future." said Nicole without thinking.

"Yes, what she-" agreed Waverly, but trailed off when she fully comprehended what was said. "Wait, what?"

"I... oh, god."

They stared at each other, wide eyed, and Wynonna burst out in laughter at their flabbergasted expressions. "Why don't we go start the car, and give these two lovers some time to talk."

Doc nodded his head in agreement before he followed Wynonna down the hall. Dolls remained his stoic self as he made his way behind them without a word to anyone. Nedley scratched the back of his neck, and offered a sympathetic glance to his deputy before he left the room to go collect Champ and take him to the cruiser. That left Nicole and Waverly alone in the room, but they weren't looking at each other.

"I guess we better get going so they can make room for someone else." murmured Nicole awkwardly, her body tense and her fingers clenching the sheets.

"Nicole," said Waverly quietly, and waited for her girlfriend to look her way, and when she didn't, she tried to turn Nicole's head to face her. "Oh, honestly."

When Nicole wouldn't look her way, Waverly got up off the bed, and knelt down in front of her until they were looking into each others' eyes.

"Nicole, did you really mean that?" asked Waverly, her tone calm and soothing as to not scare Nicole.

"I..." started Nicole, but she trailed off when her usual confidence left her. "Well... I mean... Kinda?"

"Kinda?" repeated Waverly incredulously. "You _kinda_ see me in your future?"

"I _do_ see you in my future!" insisted Nicole, her voice strong with conviction. "And maybe I do see, uh, _that_ in our future, but long off down the road!"

"You mean marriage?" Waverly asked with an arched eyebrow and a smirk. "It's not a dirty word, Nicole, I've heard you say much worse in other indecent situations."

Nicole blushed at the racy memories before she said, "You're gonna be the death of me."

"Nicole, I'm just getting started." whispered Waverly seductively, and she walked over to the door.

"What are you doing?" stammered Nicole, her eyes widening as Waverly locked the door.

"Just lay back in the bed, and I'm about to show you that I'm not entirely opposed to marrying you in the future either."

"Again, as I said before, you're gonna be the death of me." said Nicole breathlessly, but was scooting back onto the bed as she was told.

"Are you complaining?" countered Waverly, taking a seat in Nicole's lap.

"Hell no," whispered Nicole, but it turned into a moan when Waverly leaned forward and started placing featherlike kisses down her neck.

"Just follow the doctor's orders and relax." said Waverly with a sultry grin, and started unbuttoning Nicole's shirt. "Let me take care of you."

Nicole's head fell back against the pillow, and her eyes fluttered closed as Waverly kissed down her neck and along her jaw. Her stomach muscles clenched underneath Waverly's roaming fingers. Waverly crashed her lips against Nicole's, and Nicole moaned into her mouth.

"Waverly," moaned Nicole, her hands gripping Waverly's hips, her own bucking subconsciously.

"I got you, baby." whispered Waverly, her hands cradling Nicole's face before they traveled down Nicole's body.

The button of Nicole's jeans was undone, and her breathing quickened as she heard her zipper being unzipped. Nicole opened her eyes, and Waverly was gazing down at her, her pupils blown as she watched her girlfriend writing beneath her. She scooted down until she was straddling Nicole's thighs rather than her waist, and pulled her jeans and underwear down just until they were at her thighs.

Nicole whimpered at the look that Waverly was giving her. Waverly cupped her girlfriend, and began slowly rubbing her.

"Oh, god." moaned Nicole, her eyes slamming shut, and her hips bucking up to find some kind of friction.

"Shh, you have to be quiet so we won't get caught!" hissed Waverly cautiously, her hand never slowing down.

Nicole nodded absentmindedly, but her thoughts were solely on the fingers that were now inside of her, and any restraint she had flown out the window. Nicole usually wasn't so vocal in the bedroom, but the thought of being caught sent something down her spine, and she didn't care who heard her. Waverly Earp was working her way inside of her, and _skillfully_ might she add, and there was no way she could keep quiet.

" _Nicole_ , what did I say?" whispered Waverly, glancing to the door even though the shade was down. "We'll be thrown out!"

"What are they gonna do, ban us?" countered Nicole irritably when Waverly stopped her movements. "Something tells me they can't considering this is the only hospital in Purgatory!"

"Fine," snapped Waverly, withdrawing her fingers from Nicole, and wiping them off on her _extremely_ short shorts (in Nicole's opinion).

"W-What are you doing?" stuttered Nicole, leaning up in the bed. "You can't leave me like this!"

"I can, and I am." countered Waverly, unimpressed. "If you behave, we'll continue this at the Homestead, so _come_ on."

"You think you're _so punny_." drawled Nicole with a growl.

There was a knock on the door, and the women froze before Nicole attempted to redress herself. However, the burning across her shoulder prevented that much movement, and for a moment, Nicole just laid there, stuck. The knocking on the door grew louder, so Waverly quickly helped her in pulling her jeans up and buttoning her shirt. When they deemed each other acceptable to go out in public, Waverly unlocked the door to have a flash blind her.

"I knew leaving you two alone was a mistake." announced Wynonna, chuckling as she held the camera in her hands over her head so Waverly couldn't reach it.

"Wynonna, there's nothing wrong with the picture." snapped Waverly, crossing her arms over her chest. "It doesn't prove that we did anything."

"Really? I'd say the messed up hair and the ruffled clothes on Haught pants over there say otherwise." grinned Wynonna, turning on her heel. "You two might wanna hurry up before security throws you out, and trust us, Haughtstuff, being thrown out isn't as fun as it sounds."

"It _doesn't_ sound fun!" called Nicole, finally getting up off the hospital bed.

"We have different definitions of the word fun then." called Wynonna over her shoulder before she disappeared down the hall.

"You Earps are something else." mused Nicole, grabbing Waverly's hand as they followed behind Wynonna at a slower pace.

"We certainly are." agreed Waverly, but Nicole could sense a slight undertone. "You sure you can handle us?"

Nicole pulled Waverly to a stop, and gave her a charming smile. She'd spent the last couple of weeks fretting over whether or not she was what Waverly wanted, or if she was just a phase, that she failed to see just how scared Waverly was. She didn't take into account that Waverly feared that Nicole would find the curse to be too much and bail. She feared that she'd eventually grow tired of how passionate Waverly was about her research and how much she throws herself into it. So, Nicole grabbed both of Waverly's hands with her own, and pulled her close.

"Waverly, I love you and your sister so damn much, that I see a future with you." insisted Nicole, their faces millimeters away from each other.

"Uh oh," teased Waverly, breathing in the same air that Nicole was breathing. "Are you talking about that dirty word you can't say?"

"Yes, Waverly, I'm gonna marry you some day." chuckled Nicole, but it was cut off by a pair of lips connecting with her own.

They vaguely heard the _click_ of the camera and Wynonna's soft cackles, but they didn't care in the slightest; not when all they could taste was each other. Waverly rubbed her nose against Nicole's.

"Does your door at the Homestead have a lock by any chance?" questioned Nicole, her eyes mischievous.

"It does, but the walls are paper thin." warned Waverly, her lust shining bright in her eyes.

"That works for me."

With something to look forward to, they both hurried their pace to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If only Nicole would have kept her mouth shut... How'd you like the chapter?


	17. Three's A Crowd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nedley offers Nicole encouragement before she finally faces Victor, and she's haught headed when they finally talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter... I've literally been writing all day, and it's the longest chapter.

The sun was settled just on the horizon, and the sky overhead was a mix of pinks and oranges as daylight began to dwindle. Nicole was gnawing at a thumbnail as she gazed up at the motel, unsure of what she wanted to do. She felt like she had kept Victor waiting for long enough, and a part of her feared that if she put it off long enough, her brother would grow tired of the waiting game.

Nicole felt a pang of guilt when she looked over to Nedley who was behind the wheel. He had been there for her every step of the way. He was the one who took a well aimed shot at Bartholomew! He was there with kind words with his no-bullshit tone, and she was pretty sure he had put her first a few times that he shouldn't have, and while she would forever be grateful towards Nedley, she couldn't help but feel like he was doing too much for her.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." said Nedley in his gruff voice without even looking at Nicole.

"Oh, I already have enough pictures of you... Any more, and I'll start to look kinda creepy." joked Nicole, leaning back into the passenger seat, and turning her head to look back at the motel.

"No one can ever have too many pictures of me." Nedley quipped, taking a sip of the station sludge.

"You say that now, but when some creepy guy has a shrine of you along with a piece of your hair or something, that's when it'll become disconcerting." countered Nicole, giving him a sly grin.

"I'll be flattered." muttered Nedley around the brim of his cup. "He can admire me from afar as he follows the rules to the restraining order."

Nicole shook her head as she chuckled. They relapsed into silence, and the ball of nerves inside Nicole's gut grew, and soon it was all she could think about. She was squirming in her seat, and she inconspicuously rubbed her stomach in hopes of easing the uneasiness and nausea that was crawling up from her gut. Her mouth began to water, and for a whole minute, Nicole was worried that she'd vomit all over herself and the car.

"Hey," said Nedley gently, sensing her descent into hysteria. "Why don't you tell me what's got you all twisted up so tight?"

"You know what's wrong." said Nicole flatly as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"True, but it's bothering you, so why don't you vent to me?" suggested Nedley, arching an eyebrow.

"Nah," Nicole brushed him off. "I've talked about it too much."

"It's clearly bothering you, so I think you haven't talked about it enough." countered Nedley, eyeing her from the corner of his eye.

"It's always going to bother me until I just get it over with." said Nicole in a tone that said the conversation was over, but Nedley was adamant.

"I don't think that's the viewpoint you should have while going in there." he said cautiously. "Look, if you're not ready-"

"He'll leave, Nedley!" Nicole interrupted testily. "He's been here for two weeks-"

"And he can wait two more if that's what you need." insisted Nedley, reaching his hand over to touch her shoulder, but thought better of it, and laid his hand down on the arm rest instead. "If he doesn't wait for you and leaves, this act he's putting up clearly wasn't worth your time."

"I want to go in," whispered Nicole, resting her temple against the window. "but I can't move. I can't convince myself to get out and go."

"I'm right here, Nicole, I can help if that's what you want or need." offered Nedley, forcing down another mouthful of the station's "coffee".

"I have to do this myself." murmured Nicole, unbuckling her seat belt, and her fingers were wrapped around the door handle before she paused. "Nedley... What do I do?"

Nedley glanced over at her, and just watched her closely. The uncertainty and anxiety washing over her face as she asked for the answer reminded him so much of Chrissy. His daughter used to always ask for his help up until she became friends with that damn Stephanie girl. She was such a bad influence on Chrissy, and while he usually refrained himself from speaking ill of the dead, he couldn't help but recount how much of a change she had on his daughter.

And so, as he looked at Nicole, at the insecurity and panic on her face, he couldn't help but give her a sad smile as his heart constricted. This time when he reached over to pat her, he didn't stop himself. Nedley was careful of her injured shoulder when he gently patted her arm as to avoid jostling it too much. He desperately wanted to go inside with her so he could keep an eye on Victor, but the decision wasn't his.

"All you have to do is go inside _if_ you want, and talk to him. I _will_ go with you if you allow me to, and I will get you out of there if it gets to be too much for you." said Nedley fiercely.

"He needs to be able to talk freely, and that's why I needed you to pick me up rather than Wynonna or Waverly." countered Nicole, running a hand over her weary face. "He'll feel pressured."

"Hearin' about that father of yours, I'd say he's used to pressure, so it don't matter to me whether he wants me there or not." said Nedley. Just talking about Victor made him more bitter than the sludge in his cup. "The only thing I care about is if me being in there with you makes you more comfortable."

"I... Well... Yes?" stammered Nicole, and it came out more like a question.

"Nicole," said Nedley seriously. "Do _you_ want me to go with you?"

"It'll make me feel a little better." conceded Nicole, chewing on the thumbnail once again, uncertainty shining in her eyes.

"Well," sighed Nedley, relieved. "Whenever you're ready, I am too."

Nicole finally looked him in the eye, and she gave him a small smile. It was a ghost of a smile, but it was there nonetheless, and Nedley was struck by how similar this felt to when he always helped Chrissy. They were similar in many ways; They were goodhearted, they were understanding, and they always offered second chances. Although, Nedley was sure that unlike Chrissy, maybe Nicole would listen to his advice every once in a while.

"Okay..." whispered Nicole, but her voice was strong. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

...

When Victor opened the door, he had a hopeful look on his face. His eyes lit up when he spotted Nicole, but his face turned stony when his eyes landed on Nedley. Victor opened his mouth, ready to protest, but he closed it, thinking better of it. He figured the sheriff was there for a reason, and it was Nicole's doing, so he promptly ignored Nedley altogether.

While he could do without the older man's presence, it looked like she wouldn't even be there had it not been for the moral support Nedley had to offer, so he had to begrudgingly feel some sort of gratitude towards him. Oh well, so long as Nicole was comfortable, maybe he could get through to her that he was being sincere. So, he took a deep breath, and without looking in his direction, he addressed Nedley.

"Thank you for bringing Nicole, sheriff." thanked Victor, but it sounded like he was choking on his words. "Please, come in... both of you."

"Hello, Victor," whispered Nicole, ducking her head when he looked at her.

"Victor," greeted Nedley with a grimace, like he tasted a lemon.

Victor shut the door behind them, and turned around. They were both standing awkwardly, unsure of what to say or where to sit. Victor sighed silently. He was prepared for a tense silence at first, but he could still feel the silence in his muscles and joints. He was wound up tight, and every second that crept by quietly was twisting his nerves tighter and tighter. After a moment, he finally snapped, and he decided to break the silence.

"So," he chuckled nervously. "Looks like you're outta the hospital."

"Seems that way, yeah," said Nicole awkwardly, wrapping her arms around herself, and Nedley took a step closer to her, taking her actions as a hint that she didn't feel comfortable.

"Are you comfortable with telling me why you were in the hospital?" questioned Victor slowly, and when Nicole hesitated, he quickly added, "If you don't want to tell me, I won't pressure you to."

"Right choice," nodded Nedley, glancing between the siblings.

"Victor," said Nicole, sounding tired all of a sudden. "Really, now that Waverly and Wynonna aren't here, why are you here? What do you want?"

"I realized how despicable I was towards you." said Victor grimly. "When I finally ran out and realized that I had no one to turn to and nowhere to go, I finally saw how little dad's attention was worth."

"So," drawled Nicole, rubbing her temple. "You only realized this when it directly affected you?"

"I won't lie to you," confessed Victor seriously. "That is exactly how I realized. We all know, so there's no point in saying otherwise, but you're right, if he hadn't tried to wreck the future I wanted for myself, it probably would have taken me longer to see how mean and ruthless I was to you."

"Of course," chuckled Nicole bitterly, her eyes glued to the ceiling in a desperate attempt to keep the tears at bay. "That's how it always was, wasn't it. You only ever cared if it affected you in some way."

"That's why I'm here, Nicole." insisted Victor in a soothing voice. "I'm probably the last to say it, but I was a real dick, and you still see me as one, so I'm here to try my hardest to show you that even though it took some pushing, I've realized my mistakes, and I'm going to make it all up to you."

"Why?" whispered Nicole, her voice breaking. "Why couldn't you be so apologetic before? You're only doing this because you have nowhere else to turn, and that's all I'll ever think of when I look at you."

"You're wrong!" argued Victor vehemently. "Maybe that's what opened my eyes for me to see, but it's not the reason I'm actually _doing_ anything about it! I could have seen the error of my ways, but continued on with life without ever doing anything to redeem myself in your eyes. I would have felt bad, but I would've just continued on with my life.

"But no, I saw, so I had to do something because I honestly felt like shit. While I was just driving around with no place to go, I pictured my future. I pictured two kids, a boy and a girl, exactly like us, and I imagined the way they'd fight so ruthlessly and mercilessly, and I felt so low because I'd want them to be best friends and love each other more than anything, but instead, they were acting like I did, and I was sickened."

"I tried so hard to love you." Nicole sobbed softly. "I tried, but you made it so hard for me."

"I don't think I deserved that love anyways." murmured Victor softly.

He was torn. The sight of his sobbing sister sent a pang of sorrow and horror in his chest. It was new to him. Before, if he saw his sister crying, he wouldn't feel anything about it. That thought almost made him cry himself. There were so many things that made him see how awful his former self was, and he hated him with a passion. A fire was burning inside his veins, and he felt the urge to hit himself with something hard because everything was his fault, and he was revolted with himself.

Then there was the fact that even if he tried to take a step forward to comfort her, either Nicole would back away from him, or Nedley would step towards him to protect her. Just like before, there was an uneasy silence, but this time Nicole's quiet cries filled their ears.

"Are you ready to leave?" asked Nedley quietly, keeping an eye on Victor.

"Tell me something," started Nicole in a shaky voice, ignoring Nedley's question. "Where will you go if I just give up on you like I should have done back then?"

"I don't know right now." admitted Victor. "I do know that it'll be as far away from here as you want, and I won't even try to contact you if that's what you want."

"So what? You don't have friends to stay with?" questioned Nicole incredulously.

"I lost all of them when dad's attention took up all of my time. When I told him that I was losing all my friends, he said that it was for the best." said Victor angrily as he recounted the argument they had. "He said that all I needed was the family, and anyone who failed to understand that wasn't a true friend in the first place."

"So, the man you tried so hard to please was the same person who took everything away." muttered Nicole with a faint chuckle. "Now you know _exactly_ what I went through, and if I were like you, I'd just make everything so much more unbearable for you. I can be petty. I can be cruel. I can be an asshole who just doesn't give a _fuck_!"

Both Nedley and Victor were startled by her outburst. Nedley was aware that there was already traces of anger burning just beneath the surface before Victor came along, but now, she was on the verge of erupting. He heard about how she blew up at the Earps, and he figured she needed to learn how to unleash that anger without hurting anyone, but seeing her anger burning towards Victor, he couldn't say a word to stop her.

"You were such a petty little fucker!" hissed Nicole, her fingernails digging into the fabric of the sleeves on her long sleeve shirt. "You think I asked for the spotlight? _No!_ I didn't want the attention, but I showed traits of being _good enough_ for everyone's attention! We could have shared the spotlight, but no, you wanted to cry and pout like a motherfucking baby instead of proving yourself to everyone!"

Victor just gawked at his sister. He didn't even feel an ounce of anger towards her because honestly, she was right on everything. He couldn't get mad at being called out on his shit. If anything, her words were wounding him, but he just let her verbally tear into him. He deserved it, and she deserved to unload the burden she carried for so long, and if it made her feel any better, he'd allow her to scream at him all night.

"You acted like it was all _my_ fault! You were so mad at me just because I was better than you, and you know what? I used to feel bad about thinking I was better than you at everything, but you know what? Not anymore! I _was_ better than you, and I still am! I'm a better _person_! I'm not petty or childish when someone gets something I don't. I genuinely feel proud or happy for them."

Nicole cut herself off from saying anything more. Her hands were now on her hips, and her chest was heaving. She was out of breath from ripping into her brother, but she was trying to prevent herself from sobbing again, and it was constricting her throat. She could barely swallow past the lump in her throat, and she was struggling to breath past it.The atmosphere was alive with anger and fright by the time the lump in her throat finally went down to settle inside her ribcage like a rock.

"Are you finished, Nicole?" Nedley asked quietly, afraid that he'd be next to receive her onslaught of retorts.

"I have a few more things I need to know." said Nicole, her red-rimmed eyes glued to Victor. "What in it for you?"

"What?"

"What's in it for you?" repeated Nicole slowly. "You said it yourself, you only do things that benefit you, so please enlighten me on what you get out of apologizing? You think you'll score a couch to sleep on? Because we both know this is a last fucking resort for you. So tell me! What do you get?! Is this a joke?"

"No, this isn't a joke, this isn't a last resort for me, and I'm not looking for a place to stay. Our relationship is too fragile to start living on your couch." said Victor desperately. "I'll be completely honest with you. A part of me is hoping you'll accept my pleas to show you how very remorseful I am that way I could stay here in Purgatory until I get on my feet, I'll admit that, but more importantly, I just want some type of connection with you. We don't have to act like brother and sister, Nicole, we can start off as acquaintances, then maybe work our way to friends?"

"Acquaintances?" questioned Nicole without mirth.

"That's right, we can be acquaintances, or at the very least, I can be someone who you don't glare at when you see me." Victor joked, but it was weak as was his laugh.

"That's assuming I let you stay in Purgatory." snapped Nicole, narrowing her eyes.

She was stunned by the anger that was suddenly consuming her, and she was flabbergasted by the words she was spewing. She wasn't aware that she was swallowing down those words for so long, but the second she said them, she felt relief and satisfaction. Unlike with the Earps, she didn't immediately feel regret or self-disgust. As she watched Victor gawk and stammer, she felt a twisted sense of pride in herself for turning Victor, who used to torment her before, into a stumbling mess.

"I'm sorry, Nicole..." whispered Victor, stricken. "I'm so sorry. You used to be so happy and you never raised your voice before. I made you explode in anger, and that's nothing to feel pride in. I'm disgusted with myself... I've said all I could say, and if I said anything else, we'd just be stuck in a loop. If you don't want me here, just say the word and I'll be gone."

"And if I tell you to stay?" countered Nicole, crossing her arms.

"If you told me to stay, I'd keep this room while I find some type of work." informed Victor earnestly. "If you want me here, I won't leave until I either prove to you I'm being sincere about wanting to fix things between us with no ulterior motive, or you tell me to leave."

Nicole began to pace as she mulled things over. Victor carefully sat at the end of the bed as to not attract anymore attention to himself. Nedley was standing off to the side awkwardly. He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do, so he decided to grasp his utility belt with both hands, something he's caught Nicole doing once or twice. He loathed to break the silence, but if he hoped to get out any sooner, it would have to be broken, but cautiously and with care.

"You decided on anything?" he asked, cringing. _So much for cautiously and with care._

When Nicole turned to face him, he expected to see anger directed at him, but instead, it was the same uneasiness and anxiety they held when they were in the car, and he knew instantly that she had no idea what she felt was right. With a sigh, he gently guided her by the shoulder, and began whispering into her ear.

"This is up to you, Nicole. Don't let any of the excuses he's saying influence you into kicking him outta here. If you want him gone, say so. He's a big boy, and he said himself that he'll go, but if you really want to see how sincere he is, tell him to stay. You either let him in, or you close the door right now... No one will be mad with what you choose."

"I don't know which part of me to go with. Half of me is saying that I've dealt with enough of his crap and to get him on his way, but the other half is telling me that if I close this door, it'll be locked forever, and that half doesn't want me to lose out on this."

"If you give up on him, there will always be that little voice in your head that'll question whether you did the right thing." said Nedley quietly. "If you give him a chance, he might surprise you, or he might let you down yet again. You have to ask yourself whether the risk is worth it. If he lets you down, you can always demand that he leave, and at least you tried."

"Are you saying that I should give him a chance?" questioned Nicole curiously.

"No, I'm telling you like it is, Nicole. No matter what you choose, you'll question whether or not you did the right thing. If you give him a chance, at least one of those questions won't be 'what if?', you get it?" said Nedley, and Nicole felt so lucky that she had someone who always had insight on everything she needed help with.

"Thank you, Nedley." whispered Nicole, breaking the hug after a moment.

"Any time, Nicole... I mean it." insisted Nedley, and they both turned to Victor.

"I'll give you a chance, but don't talk to me right now. _I'll_ approach _you_ when I'm ready, so if you see me in the streets, don't even look at me because I _will_ be glaring. I'm not ready for acquaintances yet."

"Understood," agreed Victor quickly, sighing in relief. "I won't talk to you until you talk to me."

"I'm glad we can finally agree on something... We couldn't do that before." muttered Nicole, but quickly pulled herself together before she exploded again. "Take me home, Nedley."

"Gotcha, I'll drive you right over to your apartment." assured Nedley, fishing his keys from his pocket.

"No, I need to be wherever Waverly is." corrected Nicole. "I need Waverly... and maybe Wynonna too, but so long as she has whiskey. I can't deal with her while sober."

"You got it." chuckled Nedley, guiding Nicole out of the motel room. "I'll take you home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nedley is always there to hit the hammer right on the nail. Especially the part where he assured Nicole that it's alright to continuously talk about a problem. If you have a problem, don't let anyone tell you that you've vented enough about it, or tell you that you talk about it too much, or just flat out tell you to shut up about it. Until you feel better, you haven't vented enough, so take Nedley's (my) advice and don't push it down for it to explode later just to make someone else happy.


	18. Lightning Bugs Shine As Bright As Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nedley takes Nicole to the Homestead, and Nicole needs space to think and cool down; Wayhaught smut occurs

Nicole waved halfheartedly to Nedley as he peeled out of the driveway of the Homestead. He tipped his hat before he took off down the deserted road, and just like that, Nicole was standing alone in front of the Earp home. There were a few lights on, and from her memory, Nicole knew that one of them was Waverly's.

With a sigh, Nicole turned her eyes to look up to the sky. Millions of twinkling stars illuminated the otherwise black sky that blanketed over the horizon. Had it not been for the porch light, she was sure that she would have barely been able to see her own hand in front of her face. The thought of consuming darkness was, in a bizarre way, comforting to Nicole.

She cast a glance over to the Homestead before she turned away from the light and comfort it had to offer. Nicole stuffed her cold hands into the pockets of her jacket, and trekked farther and farther away from the Homestead. Her eyes were glued to the unlimited vastness of the sky overhead as she took step after step. The bitter chill that nipped at her front didn't register in Nicole's mind.

All she _did_ know, was that there was a tiredness that settled deep into her bones, and that it was taking all her willpower not to fall over into the dirt. Her encounter with Victor drained her of everything, and until she regained some sort of emotional strength again, she couldn't go inside the Homestead. Nicole wasn't ready to face Waverly or Wynonna seeing as she hadn't exactly told them to their face where she was going.

Wynonna was passed out on the couch, a bottle of whiskey turned onto its side on the floor beside her. Her fingertips were still reaching for the neck of the bottle, even in her unconscious state. Waverly was in the shower, so Nicole took that as an opportunity to scribble out some half-assed note saying where she was going, and who she was going with. Booking it out of there wasn't her finest moment, but she felt like she couldn't breathe.

Everything was eating at her, from Bartholomew, to the overly saccharine acts from Waverly, to Victor. Bartholomew was burning back in Hell, and she knew that. She'd _seen_ and _talked_ to him! He was going to suffer damnation, and yet, he still had control over her in a way. All the anger built up inside of her was for him, and she couldn't help but unleash it onto unsuspecting people.

So that's why she was currently walking away from the house. Victor had left her raw and vulnerable, and until she knew how she felt about that, she didn't want to risk the chance of snapping at Waverly or Wynonna and pushing them away. She reached a hill out in the field, and that's when she finally turned around. The faint glow of the porch light was still visible, but to Nicole, it was far enough.

She fell to her knees atop the grassy mound, and eventually found herself sprawled out on her back with her right arm tucked beneath her head. Her left hand was absentmindedly picking at the weeds sprouting beside her. The bugs that came to life at night were buzzing wildly all around her and into the night, but Nicole didn't mind as long as they left her alone and she didn't hear any rustling of the grass around her.

Nicole finally settled and then looked back up into the stars. She could recall the nights she used to spend in the backyard when she was a kid. The glow of lightning bugs battled the brightness of the stars, and she used to giggle madly every time she managed to trap one between her palms. A teeny tiny Nicole would always shut one eye and poke out her tongue in intense concentration as she peered into the space between her thumbs.

The yellowish-green glow always shone bright into her eye, and she'd never let go until it began crawling around inside her hands. That was always the end of the line for Nicole; She could handle the glow and the beauty, but the weird legs running across her skin reminded her that she indeed had a bug in her hands, and she definitely had a fear for creepy crawlies.

As if reading her mind, a handful of yellow lights glided through the air just over her face, and she marveled at the sharp contrast between the glow and the blackness that surrounded the entire property. Nicole carefully lifted her head to free her right arm, and she reached out into the sky. The littlest lightning bug flapped over her her outreached pointer finger, and landed onto it.

Nicole stared, open-mouthed, at the bug on the edge of her finger, and watched as it scurried across her skin. Being older than the kid she was before, she built up a tolerance for such insects, but for a moment, she was that little child who was fascinated by the simplest things such as the light from a lightning bug, and she felt a rush of disgust at the tiny legs crawling across the back of her hand.

Nicole instinctively swatted her hand, and once the insect flew away in fright, she felt regret. The officer sat up in disappointment, and continued to watch the little show the lightning bugs put on. After a moment, she tried again, and yet again, it was the smallest one that came back to her.

"Sorry about before," muttered Nicole as she twisted and turned her fingers to keep the bug from crawling off. "I was just... uncomfortable."

The bug crawled from the back of her hand to her palm, and Nicole gently brought her hands together to trap it. The yellow light shone through the spaces between her fingers, and Nicole grinned, suddenly finding herself in her backyard again. When she brought her hands up to her face, she closed one eye, and her tongue poked out from the corner of her mouth.

She peered into the darkness in her palms with one eye, and shook her hands cautiously. The glow lit up once more, and Nicole watched as the lightning bug scurried around, looking for an escape. Unlike in her backyard, Nicole laughed heartily at the ticklish feeling it gave. Her laughter grew louder and longer, and after a minute, Nicole was on her back, in the same position as before.

She shifted the bug onto her left hand so she could tuck her right arm back under her head. She bent her left arm at the crook of her elbow, and just gazed at the flickering light crawling around her fingers. Soon, the lightning bug flapped its wings slowly before it took off into the night sky to follow the others. Nicole was left alone in the darkness once again with only the stars to keep her company.

"Nicole," said a voice out of nowhere, startling her violently. "What are you doing out here?"

Nicole craned her neck to find Waverly peering down at her in confusion and concern. Nicole sighed, and turned back to the stars.

"I don't know." she answered honestly. She wasn't quite sure what she was doing or when she was going to leave the hill.

"You don't know..." parroted Waverly quietly before she carefully sat down beside Nicole. "Well, I'll just have to sit here with you until you figure it out."

"Waves, you aren't even wearing anything warm." argued Nicole. "You'll get sick."

"I'll have you know that I have a high tolerance for the cold." boasted Waverly proudly, and Nicole couldn't help but smile.

"Fine," she conceded, sitting up to take off her jacket. "But at least take my jacket... Can't have you out here proving me right now can we?"

Waverly rolled her eyes with a giggle, but took the jacket anyways. It was bigger on her considering it was a tad bit spacious for Nicole herself, but she eventually popped her hands out through the sleeves. With a satisfied nod of the head, Waverly laid back, and gently pulled Nicole with her. The officer was more than willing to open up her arms to hold Waverly to her chest.

"Ya know," said Waverly with a matter-of-fact tone. "I didn't see your note at first."

"Huh?"

"Your note... Telling me where you went? I didn't see it at first, and when I couldn't find you, I panicked."

"Oh," muttered Nicole, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry."

"I saw Nedley bringing you up here, and I watched you walking away from the house. I was prepared to give you a piece of my mind, but now I'm not so sure." said Waverly quietly, snuggling closer to Nicole.

"Why's that?" questioned Nicole, relieved that she wasn't going to be receiving an earful for how stupid her idea was.

"I can tell something's bothering you. You would've came right inside if there wasn't, so I know something must've went bad with Victor." remarked Waverly, craning her neck to place a soft kiss against Nicole's chin. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I told him to stay after I tore him a new one." stated Nicole offhandedly. "That's all I want to say right now."

"Okay," responded Waverly slowly, taking a moment to comprehend what she said. "We don't have to talk at all."

"I'll tell you some other time." insisted Nicole. "But I don't feel up to it right now."

"Alright... Are you ready to go home?" asked Waverly, leaning up onto her elbows so she could lean over Nicole. She had a suggestive smile on her face.

"I'm already home." countered Nicole, weaving her fingers through Waverly's hair, and crashed their lips together. "I love you... so much."

"I love you more." whispered Waverly huskily, her eyes closed with her forehead resting against Nicole's. "Let's go somewhere warmer."

"I'd say it's getting pretty haught right here." chuckled Nicole, and Waverly laughed right along with her.

"Wynonna's rubbing off on you." remarked Waverly with a shake of her head.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" asked Nicole, arching an eyebrow.

"It's both, but you said you didn't want to talk, and right now there's something more interesting we could be doing with our mouths." whispered Waverly, leaning further onto Nicole.

Nicole moaned as a leg slipped between her thighs, and before Waverly knew it, she was being dragged down the hill by her hand. They were both laughing into the night as lightning bugs flew across the sky, offering up a little more light.

...

The only noise downstairs was the TV blaring about some product that wasn't in stores. The wind picked up outside, and was rattling the window panes of Waverly's bedroom window, but it was paid no mind from the two occupants of the room. Waverly was too busy grinding down against Nicole as she sat in her lap. Nicole was just as distracted as she was, and was moaning at the hips that were rolling against her own.

"It's been some time, hasn't it?" whispered Nicole breathlessly, and stifled a moan as Waverly gently sucked on her bottom lip.

"Some time," agreed Waverly absentmindedly, pushing Nicole's opened shirt off her shoulders.

Nicole tensed very subtly, but Waverly was aware of the lack of grinding instantly. She was about to ask what was wrong, but she caught sight of the white bandages covering her left shoulder and heart. The mood was gone, but the dampness in her underwear was still there, and Waverly hoped she could quickly comfort Nicole enough for the mood to come back.

"Nicole," whispered Waverly, battling back her lust. "Do you not want to?"

"God, yes, I want you so bad." groaned Nicole, reaching up to kiss Waverly passionately. "But like the doctor said, I can't strain myself."

"That won't be a problem." assured Waverly.

Nicole's eyes widened as Waverly gently pushed her onto her back by a hand on her chest. She bit her lip hard when Waverly began rocking back and forth, like she was swaying to music Nicole herself couldn't hear. Her hands roamed over her own body, and soon, Waverly's shirt was pulled up over her head, and was flying somewhere behind them. Nicole was sure her lip was bleeding from how hard she was biting it, and she couldn't hold back a whimper when Waverly reached behind her back to take off her bra.

"I think we need to even this out a little." Waverly purred, gently ushering Nicole back up so she could unclasp her bra. "There... _much_ better."

Nicole felt her nipples hardened as the chill of the room brushed across her bare upper body. Her hands were taking purchase on her girlfriend's hips as they resumed grinding against each other.

"The pants need to go." said Nicole urgently.

Waverly nodded quickly, her eyes closed, but her hands still flew to the front of her tight jeans. She made quick work as she unbuttoned and unzipped them, and Nicole assisted her by pulling them down her hips, and she also found herself bare of any clothing. Being the more experienced one of the couple, Nicole was usually the one who led their risque activities, but feeling and seeing Waverly taking control of the reigns was quite the turn on.

Lips were attacking her neck, and the tongue licking down her collarbone made Nicole shiver in delight. The same stars she was gazing at earlier was dancing behind her eyelids as Waverly took one of her nipples into her mouth. A dainty hand was palming her other breast, and Nicole was a writhing mess. A thumb brushed against her nipple as Waverly continued her descent down her body.

There was a different fire burning inside Nicole, and the evidence of that heat was trickling down her inner thigh. Waverly wordlessly prompted Nicole to open her eyes, and when she did, their eyes connected. The breath was ripped from Nicole's lungs as she watched Waverly planting open-mouthed kisses all across her abdomen to her pubic bone, all while maintaining eye contact.

Soft lips wrapped around her clit, and Nicole was positive that if Wynonna wasn't passed out drunk, she would have been banging on the locked door from how loud she gasped and moaned. Waverly placed and open-mouthed kiss right onto her center, and before she could spur her on, two fingers slipped easily inside her. Her fingers were digging into the sheets, and her back arched off the bed.

"Oh, god!" gasped Nicole, her eyes slamming shut as light danced along her eyelids.

Waverly moaned herself, and it sent vibrations throughout Nicole's core. The air was getting thicker, and Nicole found it getting harder to breathe through her gasps and the building pressure in her gut. Waverly continued to suck and nibble gently on her clit as she thrust her fingers inside Nicole.

"Waverly!" sighed Nicole, running her hand through Waverly's hair, and guiding her face closer to where she needed attention most.

Waverly was more than happy to oblige, and sucked harder while she worked her way deeper and harder into her writhing girlfriend. The pants and groans were coming more regularly, and it didn't take that much longer for Nicole's orgasm to hit her like a truck. Stars danced all across her vision as her back arched, and after her orgasm wore off, she slowly fell back onto the bed.

"God," panted Nicole, catching her breath. "I love that mouth of yours."

"It has many uses." shrugged Waverly, her pupils still blown.

"Hop up here, and I can show you how great I am with mine." suggested Nicole with a smirk.

"I hope you prove yourself right." said Waverly as she climbed up the bed until she was hovering over Nicole's face.

"I'm always right." insisted Nicole, reaching up to grab Waverly's hips so she could guide her down.

Waverly gasped, her hands firmly grasping the headboard so she could hold herself up as to not full out sit on her girlfriend's face. She hung her head to look down at Nicole working her just the right way with just her tongue alone. That skillful tongue was drawing random shapes and patterns inside of her and along her walls, and Waverly could tell that Nicole was _not_ in a teasing mood.

She spelt several things inside of her, and at some points, Waverly thought Nicole insisted on spelling in cursive, so for every squiggly swirl, she bucked down harder before she remembered to pull herself back up. Nicole would chuckle every time Waverly would lose herself in the haze before she brought herself back into reality to ride her face.

Nicole's fingers dug into her girlfriend's hips, and she could tell that Waverly was reaching her peak. As she eased Waverly over the edge, Nicole sucked on her clit before she went back to spelling with her tongue inside of her. She took careful consideration with each letter as she spelt out 'I love you' and soon Waverly was screaming her name as her hips bucked erratically in hopes of prolonging the pleasure.

"Would you say that was a ten out of ten?" questioned Nicole smugly as Waverly laid her shaking body next to hers.

"I don't think ten even covers it." gasped Waverly, her chest heaving with every breath she took, and Nicole's attention was solely on her heaving breasts. "My eyes are up here, Nicole."

"I know," said Nicole, not moving her attention.

"You're incorrigible," chuckled Waverly, raising her arms over her head as she stretched.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway." countered Nicole, finally breaking her eyes away to look Waverly in the eye.

"Well, you're always right." Waverly quipped, bringing Nicole into a deep kiss. "You up for a round two?"

"Is that even a question?"

Round two led to a round three before the couple finally drifted off to sleep, and Wynonna was downstairs chugging another bottle of whiskey while cursing Nicole inside her head. She was definitely going to make Nicole pay for traumatizing her, but for right now, she was content to just slip into a alcohol-induced coma. Getting even was just going to have to wait until daylight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom, wayhaught smut... You're welcome. Smut aside, how'd you enjoy the chapter?


	19. You've Been Hurt, But It Won't Be By Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna pulls a prank, Nicole bites her tongue, and the trio run into Victor, and if that isn't uncomfortable enough, the four encounter someone else unpleasant.

The sun slowly made its way up past the horizon as morning chased away the night. The faint pink of daybreak was lighting up the sky beautifully, but no one was really awake to appreciate the beauty of the first light. Although, Nicole was soon rolling around as consciousness crept up on her, but she tried her hardest to cling to the last remnants of sleep, but it was a futile attempt.

The sharp breeze filtered in through the cracks of the window pane, and Nicole shivered as her bare body became ensnared by the bitter chill. She blindly fumbled to get a grip on the comforter that was wrapped around her waist. Once she finally got a good grasp around it with her fist, she yanked it up. Nicole wasn't prepared for the comforter to come loose from her hand, and she never expected to hit herself right on the nose.

Nicole's eyes blinked open blearily, and she glared at her own hand before she reached up to rub at her sore nose. A warm, naked body shifted against her own, and the irritation she already felt towards the day dissipated. A bright smile overtook Nicole's face, and the radiance of it battled the radiance of the sun itself. She glanced down at the flowing brunette hair that was sprawled across her chest.

Her arms wrapped around Waverly, and she brought her girlfriend impossibly closer. Nicole placed a lingering kiss on Waverly's head before she carefully pulled herself out from underneath her sleeping girlfriend. Waverly usually fell asleep in one position and stayed that way throughout the night. Nicole appreciated that about her, but while she didn't kick around or take up the entire bed, she slept like a rock.

So, Nicole was having a little difficulty sliding out from under Waverly and doing it carefully. There was nothing careful about practically shoving the younger woman off of her. However, staying true to how she usually slept, Waverly barely shuffled around. With a sigh of relief, Nicole tip-toed around the room to find her clothes. In retrospect, she wasn't quite sure why she was creeping around silently in the first place since Waverly could sleep through a hurricane.

That was something completely different between the two Earp sisters, Nicole realized when she carefully headed down the stairs to put on some breakfast. Her footsteps echoed off every step she descended, and by the time she reached the landing, Wynonna was in the kitchen, staring at her. There were dark bags under her bloodshot eyes, and if looks could kill, she'd be in a shallow grave by now.

"Um," hesitated Nicole, unsure of what to say to the look she was getting. "How're you feeling, Wynonna?"

"Morning, Haught," muttered Wynonna, still staring at Nicole.

Nicole could tell that the older woman was enduring a killer headache, or so the empty bottle and half of another one said. Nicole was actually surprised that Wynonna was even awake considering she expected her to be passed out all the way through lunch.

"Good morning, Wynonna... I was just about to make some breakfast." said Nicole, attempting to sound mildly chipper as to avoid causing any ringing in the hungover Earp's ears. "Would you like me to make you some?"

"Whatcha making there? Haught cakes?" asked Wynonna.

Nicole chuckled at the pun, but stopped short when the usual laughter that joined hers didn't come. Wynonna was rubbing her temple, but was still looking at Nicole like she had done something to offend her, but she wasn't quite sure what she had done.

"Are you alright?" she asked tentatively.

"Oh, I was just thinking about buying that new self-sweeper... It really takes a weight off, ya know?" mused Wynonna, a smirk cracking through her stony features.

"Uh, do you even clean?" countered Nicole, bemused by what was going on.

"Not really," shrugged Wynonna with a frown, but a wicked smirk slowly morphing on her face. "I saw it on an infomercial last night."

Nicole pinched the bridge of her nose before opening her mouth to shoot off more questions about Wynonna's bizarre behavior, but her mouth instantly became dry. Her head shot up, and she stared dumbly at Wynonna. Her mind was elsewhere last night when her and Waverly hurried past the living room and up the stairs, but she remembered catching a glimpse of some infomercial playing on the TV.

"I..." Nicole said weakly, but trailed off when Wynonna eased Peacemaker from its holster that seemed to be permanently attached to her hips.

"Look, Haught... I think of you as family and all, but that's my baby sister you're defiling, and you're just going to do that with me downstairs no less?" questioned Wynonna, her eyes never leaving Peacemaker as she twirled it around her fingers. "That, I don't like."

"I thought you were passed out drunk." defended Nicole, her mouth dry. _Of course Wynonna would have woken up! She's basically trained herself to wake up at the drop of a pen while around Purgatory!_

"So you thought just because I was asleep you could do whatever you wanted with my sister?" countered Wynonna, arching an eyebrow and finally tearing her eyes away from the gun in her hands.

"No!" rushed Nicole, shaking her head quickly. "That's not what I meant!"

"Then why don't you tell me what you meant." suggested Wynonna, clearly unimpressed.

"Well, it's been... I mean... A person has needs... Oh, god... Uh... Well, when two people love each other very much-" stammered Nicole, unsure of what to say.

"I know what sex is!" snapped Wynonna, a disgusted look on her face. "I don't need to learn about the birds and the bees."

"Look, I don't know what you want me to say, Wynonna!" exclaimed Nicole, throwing her arms over her head in exasperation (or at least her right arm since she could barely raise her left one).

"I want you to state your name, and then admit that you can't keep it in your pants." commanded Wynonna seriously.

"That's really going to make you feel better?" drawled Nicole with a scowl.

Wynonna merely arched an eyebrow, and leaned back in the chair with her arms crossed over her chest. Nicole knew they would be there all day when the eldest Earp propped her feet up on the table.

"I can do this all day." said Wynonna, almost as if she read Nicole's thoughts, and crossed one ankle over the other.

With a resigned sigh, Nicole said, "I, Nicole Haught, can't keep it in my pants."

"And?" pressed Wynonna when Nicole didn't continue.

"And what? That's what you wanted me to say." said Nicole, growing irritated by Wynonna's games. "What more do you want me to say? That I have no control over myself and I'll jump your bones at the drop of a hat?"

"Actually," said Wynonna, and she started laughing while she reached behind herself. "that was perfect."

"Huh?"

Wynonna suddenly had her phone in her hands, and began tapping at the screen with a triumphant grin on her face. After a moment, Nicole heard her own voice cut through the silence.

" _I, Nicole Haught, can't keep it in my pants._ " Wynonna chuckled before she tapped at the screen again. " _I have no control over myself and I'll jump your bones at the drop of a hat._ "

"That actually worked out pretty great." said Wynonna before she fell into a fit of laughter as she replayed those two parts over and over again. "Don't worry, I know how to edit the useless parts out."

"You're so childish." muttered Nicole, crossing her arms as embarrassment blossomed in her chest as it colored her cheeks.

"Who's childish?" yawned Waverly, clambering down the staircase louder than Nicole had.

" _Well, it's been... I mean... A person has needs... Oh, god... Uh... Well, when two people love each other very much-_ "

"Ah... Of course it's Wynonna." murmured Waverly, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Good morning." She stood on her tip toes to kiss Nicole.

"Careful, baby girl!" exclaimed Wynonna before she tapped her phone screen. " _I have no control over myself and I'll jump your bones at the drop of a hat._ "

"What did you do, Wynonna?" questioned Waverly with an eye roll, but was eyeing Nicole curiously.

"I am appalled that you'd think I did anything! It was all Nicole! See?" Wynonna tapped her screen. " _I, Nicole Haught, can't keep it in my pants._ "

"Uh..." started Waverly, glancing between her blushing girlfriend and her cackling sister.

"Wynonna was, uh, awake last night." muttered Nicole, hanging her head in defeat.

"Wait, so you heard everything?" questioned Waverly, arching an eyebrow, and Wynonna nodded.

"Unfortunately, yes, but now I have blackmail, and wasn't there a meeting today at the station, Haught?" questioned Wynonna rhetorically, her finger tapping against her chin as she pretended to be deep in thought. "I think the guys would need to liven up the meeting, and what better way to than finding out that a member of the squad can't keep it in their pants?"

"Wynonna, you wouldn't," hissed Nicole lowly, her eyes narrowing.

"Maybe a few of the guys need the 'birds and the bees' talk, wouldn't you agree?" Wynonna quipped, and her grin was wolfish.

"Please, Wynonna..." pleaded Nicole, deciding to change tactic.

"You're looking a bit anxious, Haught..." chuckled Wynonna, but sobered up when Waverly sent her a death glare. "Fine, I won't show this to them, _but_ , just know that I will always have it on my phone, and Dolls is getting a copy, and maybe I'll even send it to Waverly... If you want a clip yourself, all you have to do is ask, Haught cakes... Speaking of which, weren't you going to make breakfast?"

"You really trust me not to poison your food?" drawled Nicole bitterly, but started pulling out pans all while mumbling to herself.

"You really think I can't send this to everyone before the poison reaches my system?" challenged Wynonna, her finger hovering over her screen threateningly.

"It's not worth attempting." Nicole muttered as she dug through the refrigerator.

"That's what I thought." replied Wynonna smugly. "Oh, and Haught?"

"What?"

"If you ever hurt my sister, or defile her knowing damn well I'm right downstairs with the hearing of a guard dog, you'll have to make your peace... Understood?" said Wynonna nonchalantly.

"I don't plan on doing _either_ of those things." insisted Nicole seriously. _I certainly learned from this mistake._

"Now that we've reached that agreement," said Wynonna before she burst out laughing. "You should have seen your face, dude. You were so scared!"

"That tends to happen when-" started Nicole bitterly, but she forced herself to bite her tongue.

She was so close to saying 'When a crazy Earp is waving a gun at me', but she couldn't say that. She knew she'd immediately regret it when Wynonna's laughter would stop instantly. She'd regret it when Waverly would gasp and glance over at her tense sister. She'd regret it when Wynonna would tersely shrug it off in favor of downing the other half of her bottle of whiskey.

Nicole craned her neck to look over her shoulder at the smiling Earps. Wynonna was still laughing to herself about the little prank she pulled, and Waverly was leaning against the threshold with a grin of her own as she watched the easy-going mood Wynonna was in this morning. The scene was a serene one at that. The Earps were enjoying themselves, and ever since Willa, Nicole wasn't sure when the last time she'd seen the two so calm and at ease.

So no, Nicole would never say such a petty thing just because Wynonna managed to catch a stupid recording of her. The two sisters had endured a lifetime of anger, hatred, and sorrow, and she'd be damned if she made them endure her bitterness on top of that. As Nicole watched Wynonna and Waverly laughing together, she told herself that she would try some sort of exercise or something to control her anger.

The Earps had been hurt by so many people, and Nicole would never allow herself to be one of them. So for right now, she took a deep breath, and turned back to making breakfast, a slow smile making its way to her face.

"What was that, Haught pants?" questioned Wynonna, catching her breath,

"That tends to happen when big, scary sisters are on the prowl." Nicole said instead, and turned to give Wynonna a silly smile.

"They don't call me a guard dog for nothing." stated Wynonna proudly, intertwining her fingers behind her head.

 "Literally no one calls you that." Waverly piped up and then tried to look innocent when Wynonna turned to glare at her.

"You can't just cut me down like that when I'm in the middle of scary, overprotective sister mode, baby girl!" Wynonna whined.

Nicole chuckled at the sisters, her full attention on them, and she only turned back to the stove when she smelt something burning. She cursed loudly in surprise, and quickly turned off the burner. When she threw the pan onto a different burner, she stared miserably down at the charred whatever it was she was cooking. It didn't really look like anything edible, so with a defeated sigh, she turned to the snickering sisters.

"Well," she said, trying to sound lighthearted. "Who's up for heading to the diner for breakfast?"

"Totally,"

"If you also insist on paying, then I'm in!"

"Wynonna," Nicole and Waverly muttered simultaneously.

...

Nicole and Waverly held hands as they trailed behind Wynonna. The were in the middle of a light conversation (with the addition of a few comments about the recording on Wynonna's part) when they entered the diner. Nicole's calm demeanor was quickly replaced by dread once her eyes scanned over the diner. The cop in her told her to always keep an eye out even in simple outings.

So when her eyes landed on the hunched figure of Victor, her smile quickly slipped away, and the lines between her eyebrows became more prominent as she frowned deeply. She suddenly stopped walking, and since her hand was in Waverly's she came to a sudden halt as well. She would have questioned what the hold up was, but her eyes happened to land on the other Haught as well.

"What the fuck?" questioned Wynonna loudly, grabbing everyone's attention.

A few townspeople muttered something about 'them crazy Earps'. The waitress glared at Wynonna for her crude distraction while she placed a stack of pancakes in front of the giggling little child, and the kid's mother was covering her ears despite the little girl already hearing what was said. Victor's head snapped up, the menu falling from his hands. His eyes glanced between Wynonna and Waverly, and they eventually settled on his sister.

"Maybe we should go?" offered Waverly, taking it upon herself to be the mediator when she saw how uncomfortable Nicole was and how Wynonna looked like she was about to assault Victor.

"No!" shouted Victor before he regained his bearings. "I mean, please stay, I'll go."

"Good, because I wasn't about to leave." Wynonna quipped edgily. Every pair of eyes were watching the display, and every mouth was preparing to shoot off with gossip.

"Uh, alright," said Victor, more submissive than he was during their previous encounter. "You three enjoy your breakfast."

Waverly nodded once to show she appreciated the comment when it was obvious Nicole and Wynonna weren't going to say anything. Just when Victor pushed his way out of the booth with the intention of returning the menu to the waitress, the bell above the door rung, signaling the arrival of another customer.

"Oh great, I came to have breakfast, and now I have to see the weird Earp, her backstabbing sister, the bitch who stole my girlfriend, _and_ the unwanted outsider!" snapped Champ testily when he caught sight of the four.

"Just when I thought I could stomach some breakfast, your presence says otherwise." drawled Wynonna with an eye roll. "Great, we were about to get rid of this cockroach, now we have to endure this ass."

"Champ," warned Waverly, tightening her hold on Nicole's hand, something Champ caught.

"I can't believe you just moved on so fast without the courtesy of mourning our relationship." spat Champ, crossing his arms angrily.

"Seriously?" questioned Nicole incredulously, genuinely wondering if the boy-man in front of her was that stupid. "You moved on with anything with a pulse and skirt while you were _still_ in a relationship with her!"

"Did I ask for your opinion, freak?" hissed Champ, taking a step towards her, and grabbing her by her collar.

Nicole usually would have enjoyed taking an opportunity to beat Champ down a peg, but her brain short-wired after he spat out the homophobic slur and then took a step forward. She was pretty used to those bigoted people who were so narrow-minded that they couldn't fit the idea of two people loving each other despite being the same gender into their heads.

It was nothing new, but in this instant, she wasn't in the diner anymore. The homophobic snarl along with the threatening step forward sent her back with Samuel. She remembered the cool blade slicing into her flesh, and she remembered every hateful word he threw at her. She didn't see Champ anymore, no she was tied down to the table by barbed wire, and Samuel was hovering over her.

"Yer a freak, ya bitch." snarled Samuel, his eyes burning red with intense hatred.

Nicole whimpered, and pulled her hand free of Waverly's so she could cover her face from any assault coming. Her legs were shaking uncontrollably as she back away. She couldn't hear the concerned voice of Waverly, and she couldn't hear the angry yells coming from Wynonna. She sure as hell didn't hear the fist that collided with Champ's jaw, or the loud _thud_ as his body flew to the ground.

When she slowly opened her eyes after counting to sixty inside her head, she saw Victor cradling his right hand with his left as he towered over the unconscious body of Champ. If Nicole wasn't so panicky, she would have laughed at the array of emotions crossing quickly across Wynonna's face. Wynonna was torn between anger, amusement, indifference, and awe, and she managed to show every emotion at once.

"Nicole?" called Waverly quietly, trying not to startle Nicole any more than she already was. "Baby, are you okay? Do you need to leave?"

"I..." started Nicole weakly, glancing around at all the eyes on them. "Please?"

"C'mon, honey, let's get you out of here." whispered Waverly, gently kissing Nicole's cheek to further ground her.

"Oh, no ya don't!" shrieked the waitress furiously. "I've already called the station, and they sent the sheriff, and he's comin' down to settle this mess right now!"

"Oh, great," muttered Victor ruefully. "I'm already on his bad side, this isn't going to exactly put me over the top."

"Get over it," said Wynonna, quickly regaining her hatred towards him despite how awesome it was to see him knock Champ's lights out. "Try being on his bad side for years, then we'll talk."

"Oh, we're _all_ gonna be doing some talking." said Nedley, walking into the diner. "You three ladies wait for me outside while Victor and I deal with this mess."

Nicole grimaced as Waverly took her hand to lead her out of the diner. Wynonna, never one to let the whispers and stares affect her too much, swaggered out of the door, leaving the bell ringing loudly. Nicole and Waverly leaned against the large window, and Wynonna was pacing around the sidewalk in front of the couple.

"Dude, we're in the clear." assured Wynonna easily. "Nedley loves you, and when he finds out that Champ was throwing around that homophobic shit, he's gonna let us off easily. God, where were you back then, huh? I could've used you as a get outta jail free card so many times!"

"Wynonna," sighed Waverly, running a hand over her face. She was suddenly tired enough to crawl back into bed with Nicole. "How are you doing, honey?"

Nicole shrugged, not really wanting to say what crossed her mind. She didn't want to talk about Samuel just as much as she loathed talking about Bartholomew, and she was so tired of reliving it, and she was so tired of hearing every bigoted slur he said to her just to bleed it out later when he cut into her. There was a lump in Nicole's throat, and she began to rapidly blink back the sudden tears lining her eyes.

"Dude," started Wynonna when she saw the tears, but was cut off by Nedley and Victor carrying Champ to the patrol car.

"Victor filled me in on what happened." grunted Nedley, pushing Champ into the backseat before slamming the door closed. "I'll be taking Champ to the station for harassment."

"It's nothing I haven't heard before, Nedley." muttered Nicole, glaring down at the cracked sidewalk. "And it's nothing I won't hear again, so what's the point?"

"He intended to hurt you!" insisted Victor strongly, but zipped his mouth when everyone turned to him. "He can still get in trouble for that, right?"

"He put his hands on you Nicole." agreed Nedley. "I've offered this boy so many chances, but he's getting on my last nerve, and insulting my deputy and putting his hands on you with the intent to harm you is my final straw, Nicole."

"I guess," whispered Nicole, turning her teary eyes to Waverly. "Can we just go?"

"If that's all, Nedley?" questioned Waverly, but she didn't really wait for an answer before she and Wynonna ushered Nicole towards the Jeep.

"Thanks," murmured Nicole as she passed by Victor, and he was smart enough to just nod.

"Well..." said Nedley slowly. "You're certainly on a roll, aren't you?"

"I swear I didn't mean to cause any trouble." rushed Victor earnestly, not wanting anymore trouble.

"I mean with Champ... You've punched this poor bastard twice now... I'm sure there are some people who're jealous, Wynonna in particular." chuckled Nedley, opening the door to his cruiser and taking a seat behind the wheel.

"Um, it's an honor?" said Victor uncertainly, watching Nedley close the door before starting it to roll down the window.

"It certainly is," said Nedley before he drove off, leaving a confused, but slightly thrilled Victor in the dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say quite a lot happened in this chapter from Wynonna's prank, Nicole finding it in herself to try anything as to not hurt the Earps, to Nicole reliving Samuel all over again to another Haught beat down for Champ... How'd you like the chapter? What was your favorite part?


	20. Don't Go Cradlin' That Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole has a panic attack, and that leads to her opening up a little bit to an unlikely someone

Nicole's eyes were glued to the open window. She wouldn't turn to look at either of the Earps despite the gentle insists from her girlfriend and the disarming jokes from Wynonna. Nicole wouldn't even talk the entire car ride back to the Homestead; she just stared out the window with unseeing eyes, her hair flying every which way in the wind.

As the tires drove over the gravel of the driveway, Nicole rustled around in her seat due to the bumpy ride. The Jeep barely came to a stop when Nicole quickly unbuckled her seat belt. Her shaky fingers were tugging at the door handle by the time Waverly even took the keys out of the ignition. Nicole wouldn't look in her direction as she pushed open the door. All she knew was that she needed to get out of the car fast.

Nicole could feel how fast her heart was beating in her chest, and her airways were tightening. There was an itch just beneath her skin, and no matter how hard she scratched, she couldn't quite reach it. The fine hairs on her neck were raised as she felt eyes on her. She couldn't handle it anymore. The looks were becoming too much, she couldn't get enough air into her lungs, and that damn itch was spreading all over her body.

There were small black spots dancing across her vision, and when she reached up to rub her eyes with quite a bit of force, they changed to a bright white against the darkness behind her eyelids. The dark circles swam to the edges of her peripheral vision, and it threatened to take away her vision entirely.

With her vision coming and going, the next sense that was altered was her hearing. As her head turned sluggishly to the side, she could see Waverly moving her lips. She began repeating herself until her eyebrows narrowed and she looked as though she were yelling now. She was shouting something, but Nicole couldn't catch it. All she could hear was her heart thumping wildly. All she could hear was her own blood pumping in her ears. All she could hear was shallow breathing, but she couldn't decipher whose it was.

It didn't even register in her mind that it was herself who was breathing so erratically because she was so focused on the shakiness of her legs. Her muscles were so tight that when she took a slow step forward, everything snapped. Nicole lost her footing as her legs gave out. With no hearing and a hazy vision at best, the world spun out of control as her face was suddenly coming closer and closer to the ground.

A strong pair of arms caught her by the waist before they settled her down carefully. Being put onto her back did nothing to alleviate the pressure bearing down on her chest. Nicole sluggishly pushed herself up onto her elbows so she could slowly pull herself up, but several hands were holding onto her. They were supposed to be gentle touches filled with caution, worry, and love, but in Nicole's mind, the hands were full of hate as they pushed and shoved her.

Her eyes slammed shut as she whimpered in fright. Gone were the calls of fear and worry coming from a scared Waverly, and all she could make out were taunting cackles laced with glee as hands held her down. Her wrists burned, reminding her of the barbed wire.

"Please," sobbed Nicole. "Not the barbed wire."

The hands quickly let her go, and the overbearing sense of someone standing over her was relieved. Nicole curled into herself as she scratched at her stinging wrists. Soft hands swiftly grabbed her own to stop her from harming herself any, but the softness wasn't that of Waverly's inside her short-circuited brain. No, they were rough and calloused from decades of clawing out of Hell.

Nicole tore away, and clamped her hands between her thighs in hopes of hiding her exposed wrists. She knew that Bartholomew or Samuel would tie her down again the first chance they'd get. She could still feel the intense burning as they set the blowtorch against the metal. The laughter was getting louder and louder, and it was overpowering most of her senses.

The cackles were all she could hear. It was reverberating throughout her head. It was all she could feel. Nicole could feel the vibrations of the laughter brushing over her arms and neck. When she cracked open an eye, all she could see was Bartholomew and Samuel grinning down at her as they chuckled at her misery and pain.

"Leave me alone, you're supposed to be dead." whimpered Nicole, her hands covering her ears.

No matter how hard she pressed her hands over her ears, they couldn't block out the laughter. They couldn't even muffle them considering it was all happening in her head. Nicole swore that the laughter was traumatizing her, it was that bad in her mind, but once the laughter died down, the revenants began whispering in her ear. She could hear the hateful words as well as feel them as the hatred blanketed over her.

Nicole changed her mind. She thought the taunting chuckles were bad, but the bitter snarls were so much worse. Everything Samuel yelled and beat into her before were at the forefront of her mind, and then there was screaming. It was an awful scream that sent chills down a spine. It was the scream that hurt everyone's throat just thinking about how hard it ripped free.

The scream was one that brought tears to anyone's eyes as they thought of how soul-crushing it sounded. The scream was so loud, it filtered in through the sinister whispers, and it hurt Nicole's ears. She felt her eardrums vibrating from how hard the scream was. Nicole was momentarily startled, and when she focused on who was screaming, she was stunned to realize it was herself.

Nicole's eyes widened, and the screaming stopped, although her mouth was hanging open in a silent scream. There was crying. Nicole wasn't sure who was crying, but when she shakily reached up to feel her cheeks, they were wet. However, they were silent tears. So the sobbing belonged to someone else entirely. Nicole blinked owlishly, and slowly turned her head.

Every movement hurt her sore muscles, but the ache in her tired bones was pushed to the back of her mind when something wet hit her forehead. She blinked in confusion, but another drop splashed against her cheek, and then another hit her just under her eye. Ever so slowly, the blackness crept out of her sight, and then she saw a sobbing Waverly.

Nicole found her head in her lap as tentative fingers uncertainly touched her face. Waverly expected Nicole to pull away in fear, thinking it was Bartholomew or Samuel. When she didn't, Waverly opened her eyes to see Nicole staring up at her in confusion and uncertainty.

"Waverly?" questioned Nicole, her voice hoarse from her raw throat. "I don't know what's going on."

Waverly just cried harder, running her unsteady hand through Nicole's hair. Wynonna was on her knees beside Waverly, her eyes wide in panic and uneasiness. Doc was by Nicole's side, his hands far away from Nicole as he fiddled with his hat.

"Um, what's the last thing you remember?" Wynonna asked slowly.

"I had to get out of the car." said Nicole, closing her eyes as she recounted everything she could remember before Bartholomew and Samuel were suddenly reaching for her. "I was walking, but I couldn't see or breathe or hear anything."

"Is that it?" pressed Wynonna, giving Nicole a look that said knew there was more.

"I was screaming... I didn't know who was screaming at first, but it was me." whispered Nicole, her voice still raw.

"You thought we were them." sobbed Waverly quietly. "We tried to help you, but you thought we were them."

"I..." Nicole started uncertainly, but trailed off as words failed her.

"Miss Haught," Doc chimed in carefully. "I do believe that no matter how hard you try to push this down, there is no way to escape the past."

"Just... don't," whispered Nicole, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Nicole," started Waverly, and she started rubbing circles on Nicole's cheek to relieve some of the upcoming anger. "You know we won't force you to do anything you don't want to do, right?"

"I hope so," muttered Nicole, her eyes still closed and her body still itchy.

"We can't force you to talk about anything, but we only want you to resolve this in a healthy way, and I can tell there's something burning on the tip of your tongue, so don't swallow it down, honey, please." insisted Waverly, sniffling.

 "I don't want to tell you what they said... what they _did_." whispered Nicole, gazing up at Waverly. "I'm not ready for you to know."

"You don't have to tell me." said Waverly. "There's other people who love you and will listen, like Nedley."

"I don't want to tell him either." mumbled Nicole, looking away. "I see him as a father, and there's things you just don't feel comfortable telling your father, like what some psychotic demons did to you when they kidnapped you."

"I'm always here!" insisted Wynonna, waving her arms around. "And I'll even keep the jokes to a minimum!"

"As tempting as that offer sounds," drawled Nicole with an eye roll. "we both know that comforting people just isn't your thing, and I respect that. We can't all be those type of people who know exactly what to say and do, and I won't put that pressure of comforting onto you because it won't end well for either of us."

"I wish it was in my nature." grumbled Wynonna with a shrug.

"I do find myself to be quite the listener." suggested Doc earnestly. "And I'm well aware of Bartholomew and Samuel from back in Wyatt's days."

"Uh," stammered Nicole, unsure.

Doc was a pretty great guy. He was a bit tactless when it came to some things (mainly modern technology), but his knowledge went way beyond the modern times (even though he spent most of his time down in a well). Nicole and Doc haven't really socialized with each other much, but Nicole was well aware of his fierce loyalty to the Earps, and that was a plus in her book. If there was ever anyone she could trust to care for Waverly besides herself and Wynonna, it would be Doc freakin' Holliday.

"I don't know if your advice would be just a bit outdated there, cowboy." Wynonna quipped, and Doc frowned at her.

"I'll have you know that my wisdom is like fine wine, Wynonna." countered Doc, his mustache twitching. "The longer it settles, the better it becomes."

"Speaking of wine, do you have any whiskey? I kinda ran out, and if there's ever a good temporary fix for Haught, it'd be that." insisted Wynonna.

"Do tell me how someone just 'kinda' runs out of whiskey." countered Doc, arching an eyebrow.

"Well, that tends to happen with these two here get together unsupervised while thinking you're asleep!" exclaimed Wynonna, pulling out her phone. " _I, Nicole Haught, can't keep it in my pants._ "

"I hardly think that was appropriate right now." drawled Doc, setting his hat atop his head so he could hide his eyes from a blushing Nicole.

"Goddamn it, Wynonna!" hissed Nicole, finally sitting up just so she could launch herself at the older woman. "That's it, give me the phone!"

" _I have no control over myself and I'll jump your bones at the drop of a hat._ "

"Wynonna! Stop playing it!"

" _When two people love each other very much-_ "

"Perhaps we should break this up?" remarked Doc, glancing over at Waverly.

"You're right..." agreed Waverly with a sigh. "But I am so getting a copy of that recording."

...

Nicole gently rocked back and forth in the rocking chair on the porch. Waverly was practically attached to her hip all day since her panic attack earlier. When Nicole glanced down, there was always a hand in hers, and it would momentarily bring a smile to her face. However, it would soon slip away as slowly as it came when she'd look over at her girlfriend. No one talked about her panic attack, but it was at the front of everyone's mind, and Nicole knew that, so that's why after hours of enduring the subtle eyes that would glance her way only when she had her back turned, she finally slipped out onto the porch for some air.

The sun had settled just below the horizon to make room for the full moon that shone through the thin clouds that covered the pitch black sky. The clouds hid the stars, but they couldn't drown out the moon. She finally tore her eyes away when she heard the loud squeak of the screen door.

Doc let the door slam closed behind him, and Nicole just rolled her eyes. There was just something about men and not giving a damn about letting the screen door slam. Doc struck a match and held it up against the end of his cigar. As he waved out the flame, he flicked the burnt out match far into the yard. The orange glow of the lit cigar colored across his face, and their eyes met.

"When Wynonna told me that the whiskey would be to ease your troubled mind, I did not know that she'd polish off the bottle her own damn self." muttered Doc, smoke billowing through the air with every word he spoke.

"Yeah, I can't really partake in hard liquor while taking medication anyways." shrugged Nicole, her head falling back against the chair as she rocked back and forth.

"That girl can certainly give me a run for my money, and I'm usually stumbling drunk by ten in the morning." mumbled Doc, chuckling around the cigar dangling from his lips.

"She has a way with liquor." Nicole quipped, enjoying the breeze that blew the trees side-to-side.

"I agree with you there." said Doc, exhaling a large puff of smoke before he leaned against the railing so he could fully look at Nicole. "But there's one main reason why a woman cradles a bottle harder than a man could."

"Why is that, Doc?" Nicole asked, but the dread pooling in her gut was telling her she knew which direction he was steering the conversation.

"It's when she sees unspeakable troubles that most men don't see." said Doc seriously, staring into her behind his cigar. "It's when she endures unspeakable horrors that some monsters that call themselves men act upon."

"Wynonna's strong," Nicole challenged.

"That is another thing I can agree on." agreed Doc, inclining his head. "But we both know I'm not talking just about Wynonna. You're strong yourself, Miss Haught."

"Please, just call me Nicole, Doc." chuckled Nicole softly.

"As you wish, _Nicole_ , but I mean what I say when I call you strong." insisted Doc, looking up to stare at the moon as he chose his words carefully. "Some people don't do well under such gruesome acts, but you handled yourself well."

"You're saying I held up nicely under torture." countered Nicole sourly, making Doc wince.

"I did not mean to word it like that, but yes, that's what I meant." he said lamely.

"Let's not beat around the bush here, Doc." Nicole sighed. "What are you trying to say?"

"The world sure has done Wynonna wrong, so there's no wonder why she can drink me under the table, and that's a damn right shame." said Doc, taking another puff off his cigar. "And the world has tried to do to you what it did to Wynonna, but the difference is, there's more people in your corner than there was in hers growing up. The only friend she really knew like the back of her hand was the bottom of a bottle."

Nicole remained silent as she let his words sink in. She wasn't quite sure where he was going with this, but all he managed to do was make her heart constrict for Wynonna. She felt the urge to run inside and wrap her arms around Wynonna and let her know that she was loved now, that she had people in her corner now, but she remained seated in the rocking chair, just looking up to the sky.

"The world might have dealt you an unlucky hand, but you're not down for the count yet, Nicole." Doc continued, snuffing out the cigar on the bottom of his boot. "Wynonna has plenty of admirable traits, but don't develop some of her habits. Don't go cradlin' that bottle, Nicole. There's no need to drown your sorrows when there's people at the ready to help shoulder them with you."

"That's just it, Doc, like you said, the Earps have dealt with some harsh stuff, so why should I go and add my problems onto that?" countered Nicole, her hands gripping the arms of the chair tight enough to turn her knuckles white.

"Because you're part of their family now." replied Doc simply, like he was discussing the weather. "And families don't discount each others' problems just to spare the other. They all feel each others' pain and comfort one another. I'll have you know that Waverly takes Wynonna's problems as if they were her own. That girl has a big heart that feels for everyone, and you should feel lucky that it belongs to you."

"I pinch myself every day just to prove to myself that this is real life." Nicole whispered, giving Doc a small smile. "Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll wake up and she's not mine, and that scares me sometimes."

"Might I be correct in saying that Samuel confronted you on your relationship with Waverly?" questioned Doc gently, and frowned deeply when Nicole's eyes widened in disbelief.

"How'd you know that?" she stammered.

"As I said before, I knew him and Bartholomew way back in the day, and his views were stationary. He believed a life should be lived so long as it was in the confines of rules and religion." said Doc grimly. "He didn't believe in such things like a woman supporting a family or two people of the same gender in a romantic relationship."

"Samuel said things to me." whispered Nicole as she picked at her fingernails. "He let me know just how little he thought of me before he told me that Waverly would see that I'm not what she really wants... then he started cutting into me. Everything hurt, not just the cutting, but what he said, too. He made me insecure about Waverly's love, and he made me feel like less of a person because I choose the same gender."

"Have you ever thought of telling Waverly what he said? She could reassure you better than anyone else ever could." suggested Doc. "But you must know just how much Waverly cares for you?"

"Yeah, I know," muttered Nicole, suddenly feeling doubtful. "But what happens if she suddenly sees a hot _guy_ and she realizes that I'm not him, that I don't have what he has, and I can't give her what he can."

"What if she doesn't want what he has? What if she doesn't want what he can give her?" countered Doc. "Besides, you give her so much more than anyone in her life ever has. You've given her love, friendship, a shoulder to cry on... You've given her a better reality."

"A better reality?"

"That's right. You see, I've come to know Waverly a great deal to know that she's a dreamer, and she always will be. She dreams big, and about different things, but since she grew to love you, she's more than happy to come back down to reality with you. Waverly still has her head up in the clouds from time to time, but she doesn't have to live up there to be happy anymore when she has you down here." said Doc, turning to stand by the door.

"Doc?" said Nicole, bringing him to a stop. "Thank you, just... thanks."

"Trust me, Nicole, you need to tell her everything. Let it be at your own time and pace, but she's your dreamer, and you're her reality... Not even Bartholomew and Samuel can take that away." insisted Doc.

"I will... Once it's not so painful to talk about." said Nicole, hanging her head.

"This will always be a sensitive topic for you, so don't let that hold you back." said Doc, letting go of the screen door so he could face her. "It'll always hurt when you think back on it, so don't wait for the perfect moment because there's never going to be one."

"I'll keep that in mind... but can I ask you something?" Nicole asked slowly.

"Of course, you can ask me anything." Doc encouraged, nodding his head.

"You come from the same time as Samuel... How're you so accepting when no one else was?" questioned Nicole skeptically.

"When you live out your days inside of a bleak darkness with nothing but your rage, bitterness, and thoughts to keep you company, you tend to not let those little things matter to you much when you finally taste the sweetness of freedom on your tongue." responded Doc with a deprecating frown as he thought about his past decades of life.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." murmured Nicole, eyeing him earnestly.

"I'm sorry you had to go through what you did." replied Doc. "And I want you to know that there's nothing wrong with you for loving Waverly. No matter what Samuel or that god awful Champ fella says, who are they to judge you when they aren't worth the dirt beneath your shoe? Narrow-minded people are certainly a wonder to me... Their minds are closed while their mouths are opened when it should be the other way around."

"Look at that, another thing we agree on." chuckled Nicole.

"But know this, Nicole," said Doc, growing serious as he flicked the brim of his hat up so he could look her in the eye. "I've rode many miles with ole Wyatt, and I can say with utmost certainty that he'd approve of the woman who holds his great granddaughter's heart. You've proved yourself more than any man ever could, and I'd say he'd agree with me."

"I'm really glad we got to talking, Doc." said Nicole, brushing her suddenly watering eyes as she pushed herself out of the chair to walk through the screen door that Doc was holding open for her. "Your advice isn't as outdated as Wynonna led me to believe."

"Fine wine, Nicole, fine wine,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a good thing Nicole unloaded some stuff from her shoulders because as you can tell, it was starting to get to her. How'd you like the chapter? Did you like that Nicole opened up to Doc? Who'd you like to see her open up to next?


	21. Only The Good Suffer In Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nightmare, a silent comfort, Wynaught because why not? Along with just a little slice of Nicole/Dolls bonding.

Waverly shot up in bed, her eyes as wild as her hair. The sweat running down her chest made her tank top cling uncomfortably to her skin. The blanket was tangled around her waist and thighs, and Waverly couldn't breathe. She was trapped in the blankets, and while it was a little chilly outside, she was sweltering.

Quickly ripping herself free of her claustrophobic hell, Waverly sprawled back out against her mattress, her limbs laying in all different directions as she tried to feel as free and unrestricted as possible. Her glassy eyes were stuck staring at the ceiling as she tried to regain a more natural form of breathing instead of her erratic short puffs of air.

Waverly reached up to wipe away the sweat trickling down her face and neck, and grimaced at her slightly soaked strands of hair. She glanced out beyond her window, but she couldn't see anything in the darkness settled outside. With a frown, she turned her head to look at her clock, and the glowing red numbers told her in was a little bit past three in the morning.

A single sob burst through her clenched teeth, but she slapped her hand over her mouth to keep the rest at bay. With her free hand, she subconsciously reached out desperately across the bed in hopes of feeling a familiar warmth, but the bed was cold to the touch, and Waverly suddenly felt cold all over. She instantly remembered that Nicole headed back to her apartment to retrieve some clothes, but decided to just stay there for the night seeing as it was getting late.

Waverly's shoulders shook as she sat up in bed. Silent tears were streaming down her face as she stared at the empty space of the bed. It looked so wrong without Nicole filling the space, and since Waverly was in the aftershocks of such a gruesome nightmare, she felt so afraid and hollow without her favorite officer. That brought Waverly back to the terror that filled her dreams, and she began crying even harder, but still silently.

She had dreamed that they were too late to save Nicole. Every time Waverly closed her eyes, she could still see the fear and hurt and anger on her girlfriend's face. She remembered how Nicole had just lied on the ground in a pool of her own blood, her glassy eyes staring up into the sky. Waverly had taken shaky steps towards her fallen body, her hand over her mouth in shock.

"I trusted you." Nicole had said.

Waverly instantly stopped in her tracks, and Nicole's unseeing eyes were suddenly moving until they landed on her. The scowl that had marred her features looked so wrong and out of place on Nicole's pretty face. Waverly had stammered out useless apologies, but the bitter chuckle sent jolts of pain and remorse up and down her spine.

"I loved you, and you just let me die?" Nicole had hissed, and it was like a punch to Waverly's gut, and she staggered, almost falling to her knees.

"No!" she remembered wheezing out. "I tried! I tried so hard! Please, I love you so much, don't leave me!"

"You think I want to die?" Nicole had countered in a low, predatory tone. "It's all because of you goddamn Earps that I'm in this mess!"

The air had been ripped out of Waverly's lungs, but she still managed to say, "Nicole..."

"It's all because of you and your sister that I was left for dead out in the freezing cold in the middle of a ditch. I died out there all alone, and it was because of this curse, it's because of you!" Nicole had snapped, her eyes suddenly blazing red as she pushed herself out of the pool of blood. "Now I was kidnapped and tortured just because I'm associated with the likes of you two. You really are cursed."

Nicole was about to pounce on Waverly, but that was when the nightmare had ended with her shooting up in bed with a silent scream on her lips. Tears obscured Waverly's vision, but that didn't matter too much considering she wouldn't be paying anything any attention whatsoever. She was too caught up in her own mind as she forcibly held the sobs back with both of her hands.

Waverly had been called many things throughout her life. Freak, weirdo, Wynonna's little sister, and Champ's girlfriend were a few labels that had been stamped across her forehead. However, there was one thing she hadn't been associated with since she had been a child clinging to Gus' apron with tears leaking down her cheeks as she crushed her one-eyed stuffed bear against her chest as Wynonna was taken away in the back of Nedley's patrol car: pure, unadulterated terror.

Through her life, she had felt scared about little things like not being able to fit in, and she felt fear that Champ would leave her along with her newfound popularity if she so much as opened up her mouth about anything she was passionate about. And yet, as she sat in bed clutching at her face so she could conceal her tears and heartbreak, she's never felt so wholesomely terrified.

There was just a certain fear at knowing you love something that could be ripped away at the touch of death, and it made it even worse to know that she had been so close to losing Nicole _twice_. With Jack, she stared at Nicole with tearful eyes from the doorway, and she looked so vulnerable and beaten up that she wanted to just run away and cry... so she did. But it was in that moment in that doorway that she realized just how much she cared about the officer, and Waverly had the sinking realization that she had almost lost Nicole before she even had her.

And then they were happy... Or at least as happy as they could be with revenants roaming around every corner and recovering from a crazy sister shooting your girlfriend in the chest, but they had each other and they were content... And then it was torn away as easily as it came together, and Waverly was a mess, diving into research for hours on end with no breaks just to give herself something to do other than wallow in misery and terror.

Once she finally got her girlfriend back, she really thought Nicole was free from them, but she was so very wrong. As soul-wrenching as it was to say, Nicole might never be free from Bartholomew and Samuel, and Nicole wouldn't even let Waverly fully in. Every attempt was brushed off, and while Waverly knew she couldn't force her girlfriend to open up and knew when to stop pushing and prying, she felt helpless.

How can you help someone who doesn't want your help? How can you know what's wrong when they won't tell you what's bothering them? How can you offer support when you can't tell what's helping or hurting? There were so many unanswered questions, and Waverly wasn't one to let go questions unanswered, but in this situation, Nicole had all the answers and she was clamped tighter than a clam, and it was both frustrating and saddening.

Waverly fell back onto the bed, and buried her face into her pillow. Her whole body was shaking with the last remnants of fear and panic along with her full-body sobs that she refused to make audible. She so badly wanted to help Nicole, but Nicole was forcing herself to suffer in silence just to spare her, and that crippled Waverly. And the fact that Waverly forced herself to choke down all her sorrow and fear as well wasn't helping anything either. They were both at a standstill, as if acting like nothing happened at all. The were both suffering in silence, and no one was offering the support needed.

Tears and sweat were mixing on her face, but she couldn't bring herself to wipe anything away. In her silent sob-fest, Waverly didn't hear the front door open and close quietly. She also didn't hear the startled gasps or the muttered apologies downstairs. She sure as hell didn't hear the creaks and groans of the staircase as someone not-so-silently ascended the steps. Her bedroom door opened with a groan, and Waverly's body went rigid.

The person carefully shut it behind them, and took a seat at the foot of the bed. Waverly remained quiet and rigid as she listened closely to the familiar sigh that she so loved to hear, especially when the person was writhing under her.

"N-Nicole?" she whimpered, and Nicole went rigid herself.

"Waverly?"

Waverly tried so hard to keep calm, but the sobs were wracking her body once more, and Nicole could tell so by the way the bed shook. Waverly heard shoes hitting the ground, and then there was a hand gently rubbing small circles between her shoulder blades. Waverly lifted her face from the pillow, and she could barely see the outline of Nicole's body, but it was still a glorious sight to behold.

Waverly flung herself forward, and clung to Nicole's body. Nicole was startled to say in the least. When she came over in the middle of the night, it was because she was admittedly too frightened to be on her own, and regretted choosing to stay. In the end, she eventually gave up, and made the drive all the way to the Homestead. She was expecting to explain herself to Wynonna, but she was sure that Waverly would be asleep.

"What's wrong, baby?" whispered Nicole, running her fingers through Waverly's hair as the younger woman cried into her neck.

"I love you." sobbed Waverly, pulling Nicole closer.

"I love you, too, but why are you crying?" repeated Nicole gently, turning her head to kiss Waverly on her forehead.

"No, you don't understand, Nicole," said Waverly desperately, and Nicole thought she sounded a bit manic. " _I love you_... I can't live without you, I need you!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Waves." assured Nicole, although she was confused about what had her girlfriend so terrified. "Please answer me this time when I ask you what's wrong."

"Nightmare," was all Waverly whispered as she continued to cry into Nicole's neck, and decided against opening up about her own problems.

"Oh," muttered Nicole.

"Why are you here?" questioned Waverly, but quickly backtracked when it sounded too accusing. "Not that I don't want you here! I so do! I'm actually glad you're here, I really needed you, but why-"

"Waves," interrupted Nicole with a faint chuckle at how cute Waverly was when she rambled, but turned somber. "I... I was scared."

"... Nicole...?"

"I thought that I'd be fine... I thought I could handle being on my own for a _day_ ," drawled Nicole, feeling a sense of self-deprecation. "but then every little sound would keep me awake, and every shadow was something lurking around to get me, and now I can't do it... I'm too afraid."

Waverly opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it. Nicole didn't need words right now. Neither of them did. They'd both need to have a lengthy conversation later, but in that moment, the best comfort Waverly could offer was her own warmth and love. Her hands went from clinging to the front of Nicole's shirt to pushing on her back to bring her closer.

Waverly brought her face out from Nicole's neck, and a thin strip of moonlight peered in through the window, and shone across Waverly's tear-stained face. Nicole cupped her face with her hands, and brushed away the dampness on her cheeks with her thumbs. She brought their faces closer together, and gave her a soft kiss full of love, sorrow, and regret to which Waverly returned with as much feeling.

"I love you." repeated Waverly, closing her eyes and she pressed their foreheads together.

"I'll always love you." responded Nicole, sounding very tired and very relaxed with Waverly's presence around her. "You wanna talk about that nightmare?"

"I don't think either of us are ready to talk about the nightmare tonight." said Waverly, throwing a leg around Nicole's waist. "We can talk in the morning, but right now, let's go to sleep."

"Mhm..." agreed Nicole, and she found that she was able to fall asleep easily.

...

" _I, Nicole Haught, can't keep it in my pants._ "

Nicole's eyes flew open, but she quickly squinted past the blinding sunlight. Waverly was curled up in front of her, her face tucked into Nicole's neck. The officer blinked in confusion, and turned to look at the clock on Waverly's bedside table. It was nine thirty, and seeing as she didn't have work until she was cleared for duty, she briefly wondered who or what dared to wake her up from her slumber.

" _I, Nicole Haught, can't keep it in my pants._ "

Nicole turned to look around the room, preparing to tear into Wynonna, but her eyebrows furrowed when she didn't find her. It was only then that she registered the faint buzzing of her phone vibrating against wood. When Nicole turned onto her back, she reached blindly for her phone. It was ringing, and she ground her teeth in irritation when Wynonna's name flashed across her screen.

"You switched my ringtone?!" snarled Nicole once she answered.

"Heh... yeah," chuckled Wynonna, and Nicole scowled as she waited about a whole minute for Wynonna to quit laughing. "Anyways, there's a reason I'm calling."

"Please," drawled Nicole sardonically. "We both know that you only called for me to find out you switched my ringtone... How long have you been waiting for that?"

"I'd rather not say." muttered Wynonna. "And while I admit that I did want you to hurry and find out about it, Dolls wants the three of us to meet out by the Purgatory sign... This kinda wasn't worth it, I wanted you to be in like a meeting or something. Damn it, Dolls..."

"What does he want?" questioned Nicole, replacing her body with a pillow, and smiled as Waverly snuggled deep into it.

"You can ask him when you get out here." countered Wynonna, clearly a little miffed about wasting her chance, and then hung up.

With a sigh, Nicole began getting dressed. As she buttoned up her shirt, she contemplated leaving Waverly a note of her whereabouts, but quickly shook away the thought. That didn't work so well last time, and something really shook Waverly last night. Something told Nicole that it wouldn't be smart to just up and leave without telling her girlfriend where she was going after she had a rough night.

"Waverly," called Nicole, shaking her leg relentlessly, and after a few minutes of poking and prodding, Waverly finally cracked open an eye.

"Too tired," yawned Waverly, burying her face into the pillow.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that I'm leaving." said Nicole, smirking when Waverly shot up.

"Where?" she asked, stifling a yawn, but throwing off the blanket.

"Dolls wants me and Wynonna to meet up with him at the Purgatory sign." informed Nicole, plopping onto the foot of the bed so she could slip on her shoes. "I don't know what he wants, but I guess duty calls?"

"What? No, it can't be an _actual_ duty... He knows you aren't up for it."

"Well, he wants something." muttered Nicole with a frown.

"I'm coming with you." stated Waverly, and Nicole opened her mouth, but the glare she received prompted her to shut her mouth and nod vigorously.

"Hurry up then, we can't keep them waiting." insisted Nicole.

...

"It certainly took you two forever!" exclaimed Wynonna when they were within earshot.

"Waverly wanted to prove to me that we really could keep you two waiting." grumbled Nicole, sending Waverly an exasperated glance.

"If you try to rush me, I will only drag my feet just to spite you." countered Waverly offhandedly, and Wynonna nodded grimly.

"She really does that, and now I'm not so surprised." said Wynonna, narrowing her eyes at Waverly's innocent smile. "But Dolls is over here, and boy does he have a surprise for you... Lucky..."

She continued to mutter under her breath as she led the couple over to Dolls. He had a table set up, and he had a wide variety of guns lying neatly atop the surface. He was standing tall with his hands behind his back, and cleared his throat when the three women reached him.

"Haught, it has been brought to my attention that you are having trouble with your internalized anger." he said right off the bat.

"Wynonna..." hissed Nicole lowly, and Wynonna held her hands up placidly with an easy-going grin.

"I have taken it upon myself-" started Dolls.

"With my idea of course!" cut in Wynonna with a thumbs up and a wink towards Nicole. "You need to release some of that stress by shooting something, and while I suggested using a picture of Champ, Dolls said that wouldn't be the right way to go about it."

"It wouldn't be healthy to picture anyone's face besides Bartholomew and Samuel's while unleashing a deep-seeded fury." countered Dolls sensibly. "Now if you want, why don't you step forward and pick your weapon."

Wynonna beat Nicole as she rushed forward in excitement. Nicole chuckled at her child-like glee, but once she reached the table, she was filled with child-like wonder.

"Is that-" started Nicole and Waverly at the same time.

"-A flamethrower!" announced Wynonna happily, looking as though she were about to start hopping up and down with delight.

"That's right, it's sort of against protocol to pull this out for personal purposes, but I haven't really followed procedure since I came to Purgatory and met the Earps." said Dolls monotonously.

"Awe, that's so sweet!" squealed Waverly, but stopped short at the frown Dolls gave her. "I mean _not_ sweet? I kinda don't know what you want me to say."

"I don't want anyone to say anything about this, that's the point." countered Dolls, lifting up the flamethrower and the gas tank as to avoid Wynonna quickly snatching it up for herself. "Wait your turn."

"Did you hear that?!" exclaimed Wynonna, shaking Waverly by the shoulders. "We get a turn!"

Nicole carefully took the flamethrower as Dolls slipped the straps over her shoulders. He gently patted her back once before he took a step back, throwing his arm out to pull the two Earps back and away from the targets. They stood behind him, bouncing around excitedly.

"Get a move on, Haught! I want a turn!" yelped Wynonna, her eyes alight with happiness.

Nicole rolled her eyes, but carelessly pulled the trigger. To her astonishment, the flames practically flew out of the nozzle, and instantly caught the paper target on fire. Wynonna whooped her approval, but Nicole was having too much of her own fun to really hear her.

As she turned to the next target, she paused. There was a purpose to this, and it was to unleash some anger in a way that won't hurt anyone else. Nicole closed her eyes while taking in a deep, steadying breath. When she opened her eyes, the target was Bartholomew, and he was grinning madly at her, a scalpel in his hand as he traced over the blade with a finger. Her wrists and the skin over her heart tingled and burned.

"You are nothing..." chuckled Bartholomew, his eyes burning red and his voice dropping lower. "You are damaged, and you will _always_ belong to me."

"You don't own me." whispered Nicole before she pulled the trigger again.

The flames went farther and for longer as she put full pressure on the trigger. The target had long ago sizzled and burnt to a crisp, but she wasn't done. Bartholomew was still standing, and he still had that _goddamn_ smile on his face, and she wouldn't stop until he burned. Nicole blinked, and he was gone, and instead, there was a little fire scorching across the ground. She felt a pulse of fear, but it was quickly put out with an extinguisher that Dolls suddenly pulled out.

"I had a feeling I would need this." he muttered to himself. "Glad I always go with my instincts seeing as they're always right."

"Damn, that was some haught stuff!" exclaimed Wynonna with a laugh.

"Keep going!" insisted Waverly, bouncing up and down.

And that's just what Nicole did. She turned to the next target, and Samuel was glaring at her. His eyes were red and he was scowling at her. The blowtorch was in his hands, and his frown soon morphed into a wicked smirk.

"Yer gonna get what's comin' to ya, bitch!" he snarled, holding the blowtorch threateningly. "I'm gonna be the one to do ya in!"

"Let's see what your blowtorch can do against my flamethrower, bitch." Nicole quipped quietly to herself, and grinned when she pulled the trigger yet again.

The flames erupted over Samuel's skin as he tried to match the flames with the little one of his own. Nicole giggled at his pathetic attempts, and she pressed harder, relishing in the way the flames ensnared Samuel. He turned to ash and floated into the wind, and that was only when she let go of the trigger. Dolls quickly extinguished the flames roaring, and Nicole's shoulders sagged.

"You, uh, finished?" questioned Wynonna earnestly.

"Be my guest." said Haught, tugging off the straps and handing the flamethrower to the oldest Earp. "I might as well test out everything... This is really fun."

"Thank you!" Wynonna exclaimed gleefully. "I could kiss you if you weren't dating my sister!"

"Damn right," interjected Waverly coming up to pull Nicole into a searing kiss for good measure. "That's my job."

"That's gross," whined Wynonna, but her disgust was gone as quick as it came as she turned around to face the targets. "And this is gonna be the best!"

It really was the best. The group of four had stayed out past lunch just shooting at targets, and no one had to know just what Nicole pictured right before she pulled the trigger every time. By the time the Earp sisters and Nicole made their way to the Homestead, Nicole's shoulders felt a little less heavy, and the smile on her face wasn't ready to slip away as quickly as it usually did these days. She smiled on through the day, even when she took her pills for the night

"That certainly was the most fun I've had in awhile." said Nicole, taking a sip of her soda as Wynonna took a swig of Jack Daniels.

"It really was fun." sighed Wynonna, letting her head fall to the side so she could look over at Nicole. "Hey, Nicole?"

"Yeah?" questioned Nicole, giving Wynonna her full attention now.

"I love you, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know... I love you, too."

Wynonna nodded, glad that was over with, and punched her on her uninjured shoulder before she took another mouthful of whiskey.

"Do you think if I went all out and pulled the water works, Dolls would bring out the flamethrower again?" questioned Wynonna, the moment gone, but not forgotten.

"If you don't try it, I'll be disappointed." said Nicole seriously.

"I'm gonna do it."

You do that, Wynonna, I'm in your corner one hundred percent."

"Thanks, Haught chocolate,"

"How creative,"

"Bite me!" exclaimed Wynonna, punching her shoulder again. "It's the best I can do on short notice."

"Wynonna? That was actually kinda funny." conceded Nicole with a chuckle and the shake of her head.

"I'm funny."

"That you are,"

"You making fun of me?"

"Are you sober enough to realize it?"

"...No... I should go to bed."

"Goodnight, Wynonna."

"Night, Haught pocket."

"Wynonna... stop, just... no." said Nicole, cringing.

"Whatever... Try not to defile my sister while I'm asleep, or I'll take away that 'I love you' and replace it with hate as I kill you."

Nicole chuckled, and went to gather the throw blanket from the chair. She carefully covered Wynonna's sprawled out form, and knelt down in front of her. She leaned forward, and with a smirk, she whispered, "I make no promises."

Waverly was confused when Nicole came bursting into the room while Wynonna was downstairs yelling obscenities that the town might have been able to hear out into the far distance. She arched her eyebrow in a silent question, but Nicole shook her head with a grin, and shrugged her shoulders. Waverly shook her head at her as she crawled into bed, and held up the blanket silently, and Nicole wasted no time in diving in.

"So? How do you feel after shooting everything from targets to the sign itself?" giggled Waverly, and Nicole smiled as they snuggled closer together.

"I feel like a weight has been lifted, and now I think we should really go to sleep before Wynonna kills me."

"I'll never understand you guys' relationship." muttered Waverly, reaching over Nicole to turn the lamp off.

"Nah, we love each other." insisted Nicole, closing her eyes as darkness settled in around them.

"I'm glad... I love the both of you."

"And I love you, too, baby girl." slurred Wynonna, leaning in the doorway.

Nicole jumped at Wynonna's sudden presence, and grimaced when Wynonna fell onto the bed in between them. She snuggled in, and sighed happily.

"Isn't this great?" questioned Wynonna, lying on her back and pulling both women close. "Just Waverly, Nicole, and the _big_ , _scary_ sister with the big ass gun who is also being the designated barrier tonight."

"I take back my love." muttered Nicole, pulling away and lying on her side, facing away from the Earp girls.

"That's alright, I have enough love for the both of us!" exclaimed Wynonna, snuggling up behind her, throwing her arm around Nicole.

Nicole sighed, but it turned into a groan when she heard soft snores coming from her girlfriend's sister. She tried to push her away, but only marginally succeeded.

"I'm gonna kill her." growled Nicole, raising up to look at Waverly, but Waverly merely shrugged before she cuddled up next to her sister.

"No you won't, you _love_ her!"

"Oh, god..."

And that's how Nicole ended up sleeping in an already too small bed with both Earps. As much as she wanted to complain, she couldn't bring herself to, not when her chest felt so light. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing... It definitely wouldn't be happening again, but no, it wasn't a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wayhaught really needs to talk things out... And I do promise that that is coming, but that flamethrower! There so has to be a flamethrower in season two, it'll make the Earps so happy.


	22. A Sharper Tongue With That Shorter Temper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrissy making an appearance was bound to happen, and she lays down some hard truth from an outsider's point of view; Victor and Nicole take a step forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far, every piece of advice or comfort has been from someone tied to the situation or aware of it, so I thought I'd let Nicole have a little chat from someone outside of the circle who isn't even aware of revenants

Dread pooled in Nicole's gut as she steeled herself to raise her fist and knock. Releasing a calming breath, she went through with it, and took a step back. She wasn't quite sure why she her nerves were fraying. It was just Nedley, and he'd offered her some real good advice as well as a sturdy shoulder to cry on. Maybe it was just the fact that it was her boss?

Nicole figured that had to be it. Even though Nedley was a great man with a big heart, he was still over her head, and there was just something strange about being in your boss' house that puts you on edge. However, she knew she had to come over to collect Calamity Jane. Her cat had been taking temporary shelter in his home since she'd been in the hospital, and while he was more than happy to take care of Calamity at first, her "ferocious tiger", as he liked to call her, was driving him crazy.

She remembered hearing the pleading in his voice when he called her about an hour earlier. He tried to sound casual and nonchalant when he asked her when she intended to come retrieve Calamity, but she could hear the desperation leaking through, and she didn't really blame Nedley. When she told him some time ago that she didn't like men, she wholeheartedly meant it.

Nicole could hear heavy footsteps behind the door, and she tried to look unaffected by stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket. _It's Nedley! Stop acting uncomfortable and nervous._ When the door opened, the hard face of Nedley's peered out. He didn't bother hiding his relief when he spotted her, and cracked the door open farther as a silent invitation.

"You've come to collect your cat I suppose." said Nedley, leading her into his living room.

"Now, Nedley, you know it's because I just can't stay away from you." Nicole quipped, trying to bring a tone of lightheartedness to the atmosphere.

"That's what all the ladies say." responded Nedley with a nod.

"I could say the same." Nicole shot back with a chuckle.

"I'm sure they do, but take a seat." said Nedley. "I'll go get Chrissy to get your cat."

Nicole watched as he left through the threshold, leaving her to stand awkwardly in the center of the living room, and she eyed the room carefully. She always felt flustered when she visited someone's house for the first time. She wasn't sure where it was appropriate to sit, and in the end, she settled into the wicker rocker near the fire place. The entire atmosphere felt cozy, and she wasn't sure what she was expecting, but the room was everything Nedley.

The figurines and trinkets scattered across the shelf nailed up over the fire place had a feminine touch to the room along with the stitched pillows and family pictures. The frilly throw blanket hanging on the back of the couch wasn't something she expected to find in Nedley's home, but then again, with two women in the house, it wasn't that surprising.

She could spot Nedley's few touches along the room. She made sure no one was coming before she reached up to run a single finger across the shelf, and it felt rough to the touch. It was bumpy in some places and uneven in some, but it just added character. Nicole just had a gut feeling that Nedley had constructed the shelf and hung it himself. When her eyes landed on a pair of antlers mounted on a plague hanging on the wall, she instantly knew that was Nedley's touch as well.

"C'mere, Calamity," cooed Chrissy from a different room, and Nicole felt the tiniest pang of jealousy before she shook it off without much effort.

Nedley had told her that Chrissy had taken a liking to Calamity Jane, and he insisted that she should take her cat back before his daughter formed a bond with Calamity. He wasn't a cat person, and especially felt aloof about the 'ferocious' ones. The last thing he wanted to do was be forced to buy one for Chrissy, and he was afraid that the longer Calamity stayed, the more Chrissy would want one of her own.

The faint purring that reached her ears made Nicole smile softly, and Chrissy soon entered the room with a calm, albeit lazy cat curled in her arms. She took a seat on the couch cushion closest to Nicole. Nedley poked his head into the room, but shrunk away the littlest bit when Calamity hissed at him while swatting lazily in his direction. He winced, subconsciously rubbing at the scratch on his cheek.

"I'll, uh, leave you ladies to it then... I'll be... in here if you need anything." he muttered before slipping away, much to Calamity's pleasure.

"Your cat really hates my dad." said Chrissy with a smile.

"He shouldn't take it personal." chuckled Nicole. "She hates all men equally."

"Don't we all," joked Chrissy with a snicker. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm still kicking," replied Nicole, shrugging one shoulder.

"I'm glad you're alright." insisted Chrissy genuinely. "My dad wouldn't tell me what happened, but it must've been pretty bad for Waverly to freak out."

"Thank- what?" started Nicole, but cut herself off when she fully heard what Chrissy said.

"Yeah, I tried calling her one day to see if she wanted to hang out, but she sounded hysterical, and I wasn't about to just let her panic alone." said Chrissy, arching an eyebrow as if to explain that it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well," said Nicole, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "I'd like to thank you for being there for her when I couldn't."

"Of course you couldn't... You needed help yourself, and there's no shame in admitting that you need help." said Chrissy seriously while scratching Calamity behind the ear.

"Uh, yeah, I know," mumbled Nicole, shifting awkwardly in her seat.

"I can tell you don't want to tell me what happened to you, so I won't really ask." said Chrissy, still petting a purring Calamity.

"Right," drawled Nicole, looking everywhere but the younger woman in front of her. "But now I know you're curious."

"You knew I was curious since the beginning of our conversation." chuckled Chrissy, glancing at her with a mischievous gleam in her eye. "And while I _am_ curious, I'm also aware that it's none of my business."

"Look," said Nicole with a sigh. "I don't even feel comfortable talking to Waverly about this, so don't think I won't tell you just because it's none of your business. I just really don't like talking about it."

"I don't blame you." shrugged Chrissy with a small frown. "I don't really expect you to tell Waverly right now."

"You... don't?" questioned Nicole quizzically. So far, everyone had told her she needed to come clean, and yet, here was one of Waverly's _best friends_ telling her it wasn't expected of her.

"Not at all," replied Chrissy with a small nod, rearranging Calamity in her arms. "I can tell what happened to you was traumatic, and you don't want her to see you any differently or think of you as weak."

"You think I'm weak?" questioned Nicole, suddenly defensive.

"No, but I can tell _you_ think so... I don't know why, but you do, don't you?" countered Chrissy, and when Nicole didn't answer, she continued. "You survived... I don't know what you survived, but you did. Knowing you from what my dad says, I believe you didn't become a survivor easily. You _fought_ for your life."

" _No_ _!_ " snapped Nicole, having heard enough. "Everyone keeps saying that, but they weren't there with me! They didn't see the way I screamed and cried and begged to just die!"

The silence that followed was deafening, and the only thing that broke the tense quiet was Nicole's stunned gasp. She had no intention of ever letting that slip out of her mouth to anyone, and yet she basically screamed it to a woman she barely even knew, and it was her boss' daughter, her girlfriend's best friend of all people! _What the fuck is wrong with me?! How could I say that to her?!_

"I can tell by the look on your face that you hate yourself for admitting that to a stranger." whispered Chrissy, almost as if she read Nicole's thoughts, and Calamity was watching Nicole curiously. "But sometimes it's easier this way."

"What are you going on about?" snapped Nicole, visibly shaken, but Chrissy wasn't offended.

"It's harder to talk about something traumatic to people you love and people who love you back. There'll be tears, guilt, sadness, all sorts of feelings, and you'd rather not open that can of worms just yet. You just want to stay in this empty bliss where no one talks about it in full depth, almost like it didn't happen because you know it's just going to be a rough hill to climb, and the fall on the other side is steep." said Chrissy carefully, petting Calamity when the cat grew restless.

"I don't like feeling vulnerable in front of Waverly." grumbled Nicole, crossing her arms, almost as if to protect herself from the conversation.

"Kind of like how you're feeling now?" countered Chrissy offhandedly, and refused to make eye contact.

"I-" started Nicole at a shout, but stopped herself with a sigh. Chrissy was just trying to offer some helpful insight, and she shouldn't be so harsh. "Yeah... I don't want to feel like this with Waverly."

"I don't think you should talk to her yet." insisted Chrissy, finally setting a meowing Calamity to the side. "People might be telling you differently, _Waverly_ might be telling you differently, but I'm looking out for my friend when I say you shouldn't."

"And why is that?" Nicole asked, narrowing her eyes. "You think I'll snap and hurt her?"

"Maybe, but I'm not talking in a physical sense. You're talking to me right now, and you're getting snappy and defensive, and I'm basically a stranger to you so I'm not getting offended by your outbursts, but Waverly is too caring and sensitive when it comes to those she's in a relationship with. You'll get snippy and say something that'll hurt her feelings and it'll put a strain on the relationship." remarked Chrissy, eyeing Nicole warily.

"I'd never-" defended Nicole, but was interrupted.

"Hurt her? I firmly believe you'd never hurt her _intentionally_ , but what happens when Waverly says something that gets you all defensive? What happens when-"

" _Enough!_ " barked Nicole angrily.

"I'm pushing your buttons, aren't I? What'll happen when Waverly pushes your buttons?" countered Chrissy, leaning forward to look into Nicole's eyes.

"You're doing it intentionally! She'd never push me on purpose!" snapped Nicole, the wicker bending and snapping in her now clenched fists.

"You don't know that she won't." said Chrissy seriously. "What if she suddenly decides that she's done waiting for you to go at your own pace, huh? You'd like to think that you'd calmly tell her to give you some space, but you can't even keep your temper now."

"I love her! Of course I'd-"

"Bite your tongue? Because I don't think you could to be honest, and that's nothing on you. You are a great person, inside and out, but you can't keep denying that _something_ horrible happened to you, and it changed you."

"I'm still me!" yelled Nicole, her voice breaking, and hurried footsteps echoed along the walls.

"Dad! I got this, go back to your room!" shouted Chrissy, and smiled when she heard her dad grumbling something about "I'm the one who sends you to your room." before she turned back to Nicole.

"I'm still the nice person I was." insisted Nicole desperately, tears lining her eyes.

"Nicole," sighed Chrissy before she tentatively reached out to lie her hand on top of Nicole's shaky one. "I hear such good things about you from my best friend _and_ my dad, so you don't have to try and convince me of anything because I already know. You still love and care for Waverly more than I've ever seen Champ care about her, and you've finally made her as happy as she deserves. So no, you're still the same on that front, but you have a shorter temper and a sharper tongue."

"I try not to, I try my hardest to hold my tongue." sighed Nicole, pulling her hand away so she could rub her eyes.

"And it isn't healthy to keep everything inside." said Chrissy gently.

"What?! You've been on my ass about not being able to bite my tongue, and now you're telling me that I shouldn't hold it in?" snapped Nicole, feeling irritated and ready to leave.

"I've been on your ass about how defensive and hurtful you can be." corrected Chrissy with a frown. "And you can't push down what you're feeling. As cliche as it sounds, keep a journal, or write letters that you just tear to shreds afterwards, or something! You need to let your angry thoughts out, but not speak them to the person you're angry at. These thoughts will just linger and grow until you resent them."

"I could never-"

"Resent the Earps?" interrupted Chrissy.

"Okay, how the hell do you do that?" Nicole quipped exasperatedly.

"I _am_ my dad's daughter after all." shrugged Chrissy with a small smile. "But seriously Nicole, I don't know if you could, you don't know if you could, but do you really want to test it? Is it really worth risking?"

"No... Anything that hurts the Earps isn't worth risking." said Nicole fiercely.

"Good," said Chrissy simply, and she leaned back into the couch so she could grab Calamity. "Just think about what I said. You need to find a way to release some angry thoughts that way you aren't so snippy and defensive before you can tell Waverly what happened. She just wants to help you because she loves you so damn much. She doesn't deserve a snark jab just because you get all defensive."

"You're kinda making me sound like an asshole." Nicole muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, I'm trying to prevent you from becoming an asshole." Chrissy corrected once again. "I'm just telling you like it is because Waverly's my best friend. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve the title of best friend considering how rude I was to her because I wanted to impress Stephanie, but I'm lucky she was forgiving."

"She really is." agreed Nicole, a warm smile gracing her features as she got a far away look in her eye.

"Anyway, I've seen her endure so much crap. She's been hurt so many times, and I can say that I've both seen and put her through some crap, and I'm no way proud of that. I should have stood by her side back then when everyone teased and tormented her just because of her last name, and no one said anything or batted an eye when Champ would chat up some different girl every other night. It was all so fucked up how she had to step on eggshells to be adored while he could 'do no wrong' even though he was the biggest prick alive." grumbled Chrissy, nostalgia kicking her ass.

"I swear, I'm gonna beat the shit out of him." muttered Nicole.

"Didn't you already do that?" grinned Chrissy. "That's besides the point, and the point _is_ , Waverly's been hurt by people her entire life. She smiles so wide and so often that sometimes you just forget that she was once the outcast that everyone labeled as they pleased. I understand that you've been through some deep shit and that you have the right to be angry and sad, but don't add yourself to that long list."

"Never," swore Nicole seriously.

"I want to believe you, I really do... Waverly believes you, _Wynonna_ believes you, and it's hard work to gain her trust, but the real question is if _you_ believe you can trust yourself. Just picture it, Nicole, can you honestly look me in the eye and say that if Waverly keeps poking the fire that's burning inside of you, do you really believe that you won't blow up?" questioned Chrissy, maintaining eye contact.

Nicole opened her mouth, ready to wholeheartedly prove herself, but the word 'Yes' died on her tongue. How could she say that? How could she say that she'd never snap and explode and unleash her anger on Waverly when she had already done that? Sure, she bit her tongue in the kitchen that morning that Wynonna managed to get that recording, but only just. She wasn't positive if she could do it again.

"No... I can't say for sure that I wouldn't." admitted Nicole quietly, ashamed.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up, Nicole." insisted Chrissy earnestly. "Admitting that to me as well as yourself was a _huge_ step. Instead of lying to us both, you took the time to think about it, and pictured it, and that took a lot of guts to admit. I'm sure you already know by now, but as Waverly's best friend, I approve of you, and now I approve even more."

"What should I do?" asked Nicole, pleasantly surprised when Chrissy's words were actually making sense to her.

"Are you the type to write in journals?"

"I always try to every once in a while, but I end up forgetting all about it." shrugged Nicole.

"Writing letters?"

"Don't know... I could try, but it doesn't seem as effective in my situation." dismissed Nicole with a sigh.

"I'll help,"

"You'll... help..."

"Of course!" grinned Chrissy, her ideas shining in her eyes. "We can just talk like we did today. I'll push and push, until your short temper lessens. Hopefully one day you won't get defensive."

"I don't know," said Nicole, unsure.

"Like I said earlier, sometimes it's just easier to talk to someone who's outside of the loop. I can tell Waverly feels guilty about what happened, and you can't deal with that right now. Right now, you need someone who cuts through the feelings, and lays it out like it is. My dad can do that, but he's a part of whatever happened. I'm happy to help." said Chrissy.

"Maybe," relented Nicole with a smile. "Do me a favor though? Don't tell Waverly about what we talked about."

"Normally I wouldn't keep a secret from her when it comes to you, but until you're ready, I won't say anything." conceded Chrissy. "Well, I can tell when a conversation is dying, so here's your cat."

"You really know how to end a conversation on a good note." chuckled Nicole, taking a squirming Calamity into her arms. "Tell ya what, I'll come over every other week, and when I do, I'll bring Calamity Jane with me... Your dad told me you've taken a shining to her."

"Shouldn't the father's approval be necessary?" yelped Nedley, walking into the room.

"Daddy, please!" pleaded Chrissy, her pout on full display. "I like Calamity!"

"Well she doesn't like me!" argued Nedley.

"Um, I should go," drawled Nicole, hoisting herself up out of the chair. "Let me know when you want me to come over."

Nicole hurried over to the door, and just when she reached for the doorknob, her phone began ringing.

" _I, Nicole Haught, can't keep-_ "

Her phone was thrown out the door.

...

Nicole grimaced as she ran her fingers across her cracked phone screen. She was walking down the sidewalk, her eyes cast down at the phone in her hand. Wynonna called her to ask if she could run into town and pick up some Chinese food and liquor.  With the both brown paper bags in her arms, she continued on down the sidewalk until she reached her car.

Or that was the plan at least. Nicole collided with a solid body, and everything was sent flying from her hands... except the liquor... You _never_ drop the liquor. She closed her eyes, not yet ready to see her wasted money spilled all over the concrete. Someone cleared their throat, and she finally opened her eyes to find Victor with her brown bag and phone in his hands.

"That would've been a disaster." Victor joked, laughing awkwardly as he carefully passed her the bag.

"Yeah, it would've been... Thanks." agreed Nicole, just as awkward.

"Well, uh, I hope you enjoy your dinner." said Victor, turning his eyes to the pavement under his feet as he began walking off.

"Hey, Victor..." called Nicole, turning around to look at her brother. "I just wanted to thank you again for defending me at the diner."

"It was no problem." insisted Victor quickly. "He deserved it, no one has the right to talk to you or your new family like that."

"You knocked him out." stated Nicole like he didn't know, like he wasn't the one who punched Champ.

"Of course I did... This is your home, your safe haven, and no one gets to make you feel like you don't belong or feel uncomfortable here whether that's him or me."

"Victor..."

"I get it, that's a can of worms for another time. I'll let you get on your way." relented Victor, turning on his heel and walking farther along down the sidewalk.

"I'm ready to stop glaring when I see you!" called Nicole.

Victor kept walking, but said, "I'll take it as a victory."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I want for Nicole to really take Chrissy's words into account. We know that Nicole would never hurt Waverly INTENTIONALLY. But as previous chapters will tell you, she's learning to control herself, but she does get defensive and snippy, and Waverly doesn't deserve that when they're finally laying everything out for each other. They both need to be calm and collected as possible so they can share mutual love and support.


	23. We Can't All Be Wynonna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is putting a strain on Wayhaught's relationship; Nicole opens up rather than close herself off

Quite of few things happened in the span of one month. Nicole had met up with Chrissy almost every day, and each time she had Calamity Jane in her arms. As it turned out, Chrissy threatened to get a cat of her own if Nedley didn't allow Calamity over during their little sessions. Each time Nedley would mumble something about leaving them to their 'girl time' while he slunk away to the master bedroom.

Chrissy insisted time and time again that Nicole was making progress. Nicole never believed her at the time seeing as she was always left raw and irritated at the end of the session. Chrissy was always patient and kind, offering small smiles here and there before she subtly tore into Nicole. It was never a blow with the intent to severely damage the officer, but it was prods with enough force to fuel the fire burning in her veins.

Nicole still didn't feel like she was ready to talk to Waverly, but after three weeks, she began to notice herself that her sharp edges were beginning to file down. She was even able to handle a drunken Wynonna. The oldest Earp had many drunken personalities. There was the stumbling idiot, the giggly jokester, the wailing crier, and (to Nicole's dislike) the suspicious finger-pointer.

Wynonna was always so paranoid, and Nicole didn't blame her one bit for the way she was. When Wynonna drank to stifle the paranoia, it only resulted in bringing out her suspicion, and she always loved to point the finger at Nicole over petty little things like who ate the last piece of pizza she was saving, or who stole the remote, to which she'd eventually find hidden between the cushions of the couch, and then she'd suddenly remember that she stashed it there herself so Nicole couldn't steal it.

"I'm always one step ahead of you." Wynonna had slurred, waving a finger threateningly. "Just think about that next time you wanna steal the remote."

"I never stole the remote, Wynonna." Nicole muttered in response.

"That's because I'm always a step ahead of you, weren't you listening?" Wynonna demanded before she passed out right in the middle of halfheartedly threatening Nicole.

Her sessions with Chrissy were working, but it felt like she was only taking one step forward at a time. When she complained about that to the sheriff's daughter, Chrissy only smiled and insisted that they already ascended a staircase, and that lifted Nicole's spirits enough that Waverly was curious as to what had her girlfriend in a good mood. Nicole would feel a pang of guilt when she'd lie and say she just felt happier. She _would_ tell Waverly when she told her everything else, but for the moment, she just wanted something for herself that no one else knew about or bugged her about.

"I'm just glad that you're feeling better." insisted Waverly even though there was a gleam of suspicion in her eyes.

And just like that, Nicole's mood would dampen with the weight of guilt. She desperately wanted to assuage the suspicion in her girlfriend's demeanor. She was well aware of what had Waverly so suspicious, and it hurt Nicole that Champ left such a print on her girlfriend's mind.

"You make me happy, you know that?" Nicole would assure, insists, _plead_. "I'm happy because of _you_."

"Of course I know... You make me happier than I've ever been." Waverly would respond, but it would sound just as desperate, like she was pleading for Nicole to believe her.

Then they'd share a smile that was so clearly fake, but neither would comment on it. Then they'd share a kiss that was just as desperate, just as pleading. Then they'd breathe a sigh of relief when they'd hear Wynonna barging inside of the Homestead while whistling brokenly with Peacemaker twirling on her pointer finger. Then they'd share a forced laugh as they heard a string of obscenities after a loud bang echoed throughout the house as Peacemaker collided with the floor.

Another positive thing that came out of the last month was the budding relationship she was building with Victor. They were making baby steps, but just like Chrissy said before, they already climbed a staircase. They went from Nicole glaring in his direction to sharing polite smiles when they made eye contact. Now, they have friendly conversations if they ever run into each other.

It would be meaningless topics, but they meant the world to Nicole, and she had a feeling they meant just as much to Victor. His eyes would light up every time he would see her, and while he was excited about their new pace, he never overstepped the boundaries set. Victor would offer a wave and a smile, but he'd never approach... He left that to Nicole, and for that, she was grateful.

A few weeks brought about a new case. Nicole wasn't foolish enough to believe that revenant activity would cease with Bartholomew and Samuel burning in Hell. She only wished the revenants would take a time-out of sorts because as much as she hated to admit it, she needed a breather, and not just some rest and relaxation. She needed the cruel world to stop spinning for just a minute so she could regain some bearings.

But life wouldn't be life if it were that easy. The world wouldn't stop spinning just for one person. A terrible thing would happen, but the days would still come and go for everyone else. Wynonna seemed pumped up for yet another case, but with about another sixty-something more cases to come, Nicole figured the excitement was hard-wired into her brain by force on her own part.

Once a month passed, Nicole was deemed acceptable to do paperwork, and it wasn't just due to her physical health. Her mental state screamed that she wasn't prepared, and the results of her psych evaluation was proof enough. She wasn't cleared for field work, and a part of Nicole was relieved while the other part was disgusted in her respite.

She was at war with herself when she'd watch Wynonna, Dolls, and sometimes Doc would stroll out the door with their shoulders set as they headed towards their next assignment, their next target, their next _kill_. Nicole wanted to get out there to prove herself. She was taken down during her _first_ Black Badge assignment, and she didn't want that hanging over her head anymore.

And yet... Nicole could breathe easily. She was content with Wynonna going out and taking care of another monster. One of the same monsters who _tortured_ Nicole. While she wanted to assist Wynonna with these damn revenants, a part of her was afraid, scared, _horrified_. What if they got her like Bartholomew and Samuel did? What if they hurt her worse than they did? What if she didn't _survive_?

"Nicole...?" called Waverly carefully.

Nicole was suddenly brought to the present. She was standing up, her chair knocked over behind her. Her knuckles were pale as she gripped the table with enough force to make it feel like she was about to break either the table or her own knuckles. Nicole blinked owlishly before she loosened her tight grip. Her fingers cramped as she uncurled them.

"I'm fine," assured Nicole, moving to retrieve her chair.

Waverly watched her with worried eyes from her seat beside her. They were both in the BBD office with articles strewn across the table in front of them. Waverly had insisted that she could use a little assistance when Nicole asked her if she could help. It was better than scribbling out boring paperwork.

"Are you sure?" prodded Waverly gently, not wanting to push too much.

"I..." started Nicole, but trailed off as she recounted tips from Chrissy.

_"What should you do when Waverly pushes you?" asked Chrissy, petting Calamity between the ears._

_"Calmly tell her that I don't want to talk about it." responded Nicole with confidence._

_"You could do that, but you want to know what I think you should do instead?" countered Chrissy._

_"Didn't you tell me to say that to her?" Nicole deadpanned._

_"You're right, I did offer that advice, and this is me offering you some more, so do you want it or not?" Chrissy snapped, eyeing Nicole to see if there was an ounce of anger at being snapped at, and eased up with a grin when there was only acceptance._

_"Alright, you're the teacher here," conceded Nicole._

_"About time you realized that." joked Chrissy before turning serious. "Instead of dismissing her concern when you don't want to talk about what she's pressing, try opening up about a different layer."_

_"Different layer?"_

_"Choose the lesser of two evils, and go with that. Don't leave her hanging until you're ready, Nicole. Give her_ something _to cling to."_

Nicole stared at her expecting girlfriend. Waverly looked so guarded with her concern, and that made Nicole sigh. Waverly loved and cared about her, and it was wrong of Nicole to make her feel like she should be wary of questioning. It was then that Nicole decided not to use Chrissy's advice. She wouldn't swerve past the concern now with something else because she was just going to say what was on her mind now.

"I'm torn," was all Nicole said with a heavy sigh.

"About?" pressed Waverly cautiously.

"I see your sister and Dolls go about on their business to take down another revenant, and I'm just stuck here doing paperwork, and I'm relieved about the fact that I can't go help, but at the same time I'm mad that I'm relieved." answered Nicole bitterly, refusing to meet Waverly's eye.

"Why are you relieved?" questioned Waverly, turning to face Nicole fully.

Nicole squirmed in her chair. She opened up, and she was foolish enough to think that would be it. They were delving deeper and deeper into it, and Nicole was feeling uncomfortable, but at the look of genuine concern, worry, and hesitation on Waverly's face, she pressed on.

"I'm relieved because I'm afraid to go back out into the field with those monsters who can do exactly what Bartholomew and Samuel did. I'm horrified that they'll get me like they did. I'm scared I won't make it out the next time." whispered Nicole, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Why are you mad that you're relieved?" continued Waverly, struggling to prevent herself from clinging to the woman in front of her who suddenly looked so small. Waverly was aware that Nicole wasn't ready for sympathy and coddling, and it was because she didn't want to seem as small as she did.

"Because I didn't even last one damn mission!" exclaimed Nicole, rubbing her eyes as frustrated tears formed in her eyes. "I see Wynonna taking down revenants like it's her job, which it kinda is, but it's my job now, too, and I couldn't even handle one case... I failed and now I'm relieved because I don't have to do it again, and that makes me furious."

Waverly watched as Nicole groaned into her hands. This was probably the most Nicole had opened up about since being free from Bartholomew's clutches. With a slow pace, as if trying not to scare off a frightened deer, Waverly reached out, and stroked Nicole's arm, trying to coax her face out of her hands. She tensed beneath her touch, but eventually relaxed enough to look at Waverly.

"I can tell you think of yourself as a failure, but you _aren't_. And Wynonna goes about her business like it doesn't affect her, but I've seen how much it chews her up and spits her out, Nicole. She's been hurt too," the memory of Jack made them both shudder. "And it gets to her just like it's getting to you. You don't think she'd feel relieved if there was anyone out there to take the reigns from time to time?" questioned Waverly, now caressing Nicole's back lovingly.

"But she still goes out there to get the job done despite that." countered Nicole exasperatedly.

"Because no one else can or will," insisted Waverly, running her fingers through Nicole's hair, something that always calmed the both of them. "And you see what that's doing to her, Nicole. The only way she can get to sleep at night is by drinking herself into a coma."

"I know."

"We can't all be Wynonna, Nicole, and no one is expecting you to be." insisted Waverly, pulling herself closer, and gently grabbed Nicole's chin so she could turn her head. "I don't need another Wynonna... I want _you_."

"I'm not me anymore, Waves." Nicole sighed dejectedly. "I'm broken."

"Let me fix you." whispered Waverly, her eyes shining as she rested her forehead against Nicole's.

"It's not that easy, Waverly, I wish it _was_ , but it isn't." argued Nicole gently, but didn't move away.

"And it's not as hard as you're making it, Nicole." countered Waverly.

Nicole breathed heavily through her nose as she closed her eyes. She was really starting to appreciate Chrissy's help. She wouldn't have been able to sit as calmly as she was now had it not been for her.

_"Do you know what to do if Waverly says something too far and it sends you over the edge?" Chrissy asked._

_"I don't," answered Nicole begrudgingly._

_"You need to breathe in, close your eyes, and pull away." said Chrissy. "And once you can talk without your voice shaking, you turn to her and say-"_

"I would like you to please stop." begged Nicole.

Waverly eyes went blank, but she pulled away nonetheless. She turned away from Nicole, and went back to the articles without a word. With hands off of her, Nicole felt lighter, like she could breathe. She could practically feel the tension in Waverly's body like it was her own. Nicole felt many things; She felt sick to her stomach, she felt anxious about Waverly's response, and she felt a sense of self-loathing so intense that if she were standing, it would have brought her to her knees.

But there was something she wasn't feeling at the moment: sorry.

...

If there was one thing that proved how much of an Earp you were, it was how well you were able to hold your liquor. If anyone were to see Waverly now, there wouldn't be a doubt in their minds that she was an Earp through and through. She was nestled into a blanket on the couch, and there was Wynonna's favorite bottle cradled in her palm.

Nedley had pulled Nicole away from her before they left, and Waverly would be lying if she didn't feel a little relieved when Nicole told her that he wanted to give her a ride somewhere. Suspicion crept up and down her spine like wandering fingers, but she forced herself to forget about it. She'd spent years learning how to swallow down her suspicion with Champ.

_Don't go there... Nicole isn't Champ!_

With a steady stream of whisky flowing through her veins, she couldn't really help but blurring them together. A sob tumbled from her lips, and before she knew it, another followed, and then another... Then another... Until finally the bottle crashed to the ground and Waverly curled into herself as she fell into a fit of sobs.

The nightmare she had a month ago was at the front of her mind once more. She did such a wonderful job of ignoring it that it was like she was having it all over again for the first time. Nicole's words in her dream were echoing in her ears, and they were so loud that Waverly craned her neck to see if Nicole was actually there. But she wasn't there, and Waverly was all alone.

_"It's all because of you."_

_"You really are cursed."_

_"I died all alone."_

_"I was kidnapped and tortured just because I was associated with the likes of you two."_

_"I trusted you."_

_"Cursed..."_

_"All because of you..."_

Waverly screamed in anguish as she ripped at her hair. Maybe Nicole finally realized that. Maybe she really did blame her and Wynonna. It certainly felt that way because Waverly could feel Nicole slipping through her fingers. The blanket was ripped away from her body, and when she looked up in shock, Wynonna was looking down at her in worry and fear. It only made Waverly cry harder, and then she was in Wynonna's arms.

"What happened, baby girl?" questioned Wynonna in a low voice.

"I'm losing her, Wynonna." cried Waverly, burying her face in her sister's shoulder as she sobbed. "She's slipping away and she doesn't even care."

"You know that's not true, Waves!" argued Wynonna. "Everyone can see the way she looks at you! She puts you on a pedestal, baby girl."

"I know she's doing something behind my back, Wynonna, I can _feel_ it." insisted Waverly, sniffling. "I used to always feel it."

"What?" hissed Wynonna, suddenly feeling very hostile. "She better not be doing anything or I swear to all things holy that I'll break her legs so she physically won't be able to run around on you!"

"I don't know if she's cheating!" snapped Waverly. "I just don't know what she's doing, but I know that she's doing _something_."

Wynonna was at a loss for words, so she just held her baby sister while she sobbed into her shoulder. She didn't bother trying to whisper reassurances into her ear considering they would go unheard anyway. She just pulled her closer to her body and rocked back and forth as if that would be enough to shake away the bad thoughts. From the doorway, Nicole sighed quietly to herself before she slipped back out... She just finished a session with Chrissy, but she needed another one right now, and it needed to last longer than before.

...

It was nearing ten o' clock when she finally trudged through the door. When she left the Nedley's home, her shoulders felt light, and there were no traces of irritation. All she could think about was Waverly's sobs. All she could hear was the accusations and the threat, and it broke Nicole's heart. She needed to be there for Waverly, and she needed to let Waverly be there for her.

It didn't surprise her that Waverly figured out soon enough that she was up to something, but the fact that she was being compared to Champ fucking Hardy was the final blow, the final nail in the coffin, the last straw. She would _not_ let Waverly slip away, and she would not be pushing Waverly away anymore. So when Chrissy gave her a firm nod of the head, Nicole tore out of the driveway, and headed to the Homestead.

Wynonna had Peacemaker in one hand, and held Waverly's hand in the other. They were still on the couch, but Waverly was a lot more sober than before, and when she leveled her hard gaze to Nicole, it made her flinch.

"Want to tell us where you've been?" questioned Wynonna, her voice as hard as steel and as cold as ice.

"I've been at Nedley's." answered Nicole honestly.

"Lemme guess," drawled Wynonna with an eye roll. "If we were to call him, he'd back you up, wouldn't he?"

"I wasn't there for Nedley, I was there with Chrissy." responded Nicole. "That's where I've been for the past month."

"That's a low blow, Nicole," hissed Wynonna, pushing herself off the couch. "I never expected you to act like Champ, but he never went and slept with Waverly's _best friend_!"

"I've been meeting up with Chrissy for a month, but we never did anything like that." assured Nicole, wringing her hands. "She's been helping me with my anger, and it started when I went to go pick up Calamity Jane that one day."

"So you've been talking to _Chrissy_ rather than _me_?" snapped Waverly, her eyes narrowing as she stared at Nicole.

"More like she's been pissing me off for the past month." joked Nicole, but sobered up when no one laughed. "And I had to... She helped me see that I'm capable of hurting you, and I never want to do that."

"That was kind of counterproductive considering you're fucking hurting her now!" shouted Wynonna, crossing her arms.

"Yes, I see that, that's why I went twice today so I could practice controlling myself more." said Nicole, staring into Wynonna's eyes in hopes of conveying her honesty. "I've been practicing almost every day for a month, and I'm less hostile now, I can handle explaining things now!"

"You didn't feel that way earlier today." Waverly deadpanned, crossing her arms as well. "What made you so desperate to change all of a sudden?"

"When I found you crying into Wynonna's shoulder about the fact that you're losing me." said Nicole sadly. "You'll never lose me, Waves! I love you too much to slip away, and the fact that you think I'm no better than Champ was the final straw. I needed one last session."

"For what, Nicole?" snapped Waverly, suddenly very exasperated and very tired all at once. "For what?"

"Can we go upstairs? Alone?" pleaded Nicole, eyeing Wynonna anxiously. "I'm gonna tell you what happened to me while I was with Bartholomew and Samuel... I'm gonna tell you _everything_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it... After almost two months since Bartholomew and Samuel, Nicole is finally going to explain to Waverly what happened. How was the chapter? What was your favorite part?
> 
> Also, as a little warning now, I know that I'm not one to keep you all waiting seeing as I'm usually posting around a couple days between chapters, but I don't really know when I'll have the next chapter with the talk posted. I'm not really in a good place at the moment, and I'm not really feeling like myself for the time being. I WILL NOT write something not up to par (especially something this important) while I'm not up to it seeing as I refuse to disappoint all of you. I want to be my usual self when I write something that powerful as the explanation between Nicole and Waverly since you've all waited so patiently for it. That's why I apologize if this chapter wasn't up to par, but I swear I will have the next one up sometime as soon as I can. Until then, you all know how much I appreciate your thoughts. I love all you faithful readers, and until next time, thank all of the support you've given me. Keep a look out.


	24. Bleeding Is A Luxury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention! Before you start reading, there's two things that I'd like to say:
> 
> The first thing is that I'd like to take the time to thank you and assure you that I indeed got some help sooner than I expected, and I'm feeling like I'm on the right track to being myself. I appreciate everyone of this entire fandom and all my readers who stay with me with every update, but I thank YOU, you who's reading this right now. If I could express my limitless appreciation to every single one of you, I would do that a thousand times over, but I can't, but I can do this... I can say that I thank all of you as a whole, but I appreciate you who's reading this right now, I thank you who's excited about the update, I love you who's waiting for my rambling to cut off, and I adore you who's shown me such support whether it was by a comment, a kudos, or a simple read... I loved all the support, and everyone of this entire fandom is great, and you who's reading this now, you're just fucking awesome.
> 
> Second, this chapter delves deeper into what happened to Nicole, so it gets pretty violent, so be warned. I don't intend to trigger or make anyone uncomfortable, so despite the fact that all of you've stuck around and I feel like if you've made it this far you can handle this, I don't want to assume and give no warning. Better safe than sorry!

The fine hairs on the back of Nicole's neck were at attention. It felt as though thousands of tiny needles were prickling just beneath her skin as she tried to shoulder the heavy weight of the Earps' stares. Wynonna was eyeing her, trying to find a good reason as to why she should be there right along with Waverly, but was coming up empty.

Waverly, who was so ready to accuse and grill Nicole, became flustered. The fact that Nicole was ready to open up about what happened to her sent a jolt of guilt down her spine. Where she felt anger and bitterness before, she felt shame and remorse now. The fact that even the _thought_ of Nicole being in any way similar to Champ made Waverly sick to her stomach.

The pettiness and jealousy she felt towards Chrissy for being the one Nicole went to for help was now replaced with self-hatred. Nicole was only trying to better herself in a way that made her comfortable, and now Waverly made her feel as though she had to rush in more sessions just to make her happy. The realization that she had pushed Nicole by comparing her to Champ was like a slap to the face, and she actually took a step back.

"Nicole..." whispered Waverly, horrified. "I-I shouldn't have made you feel bad for getting help even if it was from someone who wasn't me. I shouldn't have gotten so offended."

"It doesn't matter, Waverly... I'd feel a little jealous if it were me." said Nicole offhandedly. "Besides, that isn't what's bothering you... is it?"

Waverly swallowed thickly, her eyes burning as she blinked. She was drowning in her emotions, and the softness of Nicole's eyes weren't exactly a life saver. No, the gentleness of her gaze was like a foot pushing her head deeper down into the depths that were threatening to overwhelm her, and she had to look away before she responded.

"I put you in the same category as Champ." whimpered Waverly, her voice tight from the lump in her throat.

"Actually, that was Wynonna." interjected Nicole with a soft smile.

"I was looking out for my baby sister." growled Wynonna, glaring at Nicole.

"No harm in that," conceded Nicole gently before she turned to Waverly. "Can we go upstairs?"

"Nicole," started Waverly slowly. "If you aren't ready... If I pushed you into thinking you had to tell me now-"

"No... I need to get it out now." said Nicole fiercely, but faltered a moment later. "Please..."

"Only if you're one hundred percent sure, Nicole. I'll drop the subject until-" insisted Waverly, but Nicole cut her off.

"Stop... I shouldn't make you feel like you have to tread on eggshells around me. You shouldn't have to watch what you say or think about your sentence before you say it because you're afraid I'll blow up. Chrissy told me I had the right to be angry and afraid, but I can't take that out on you." said Nicole, hanging her head. "I was so sure that I'd never hurt you, but she showed me that I'm capable of doing it."

"Just because you're capable of doing it doesn't mean that you _will_." said Waverly earnestly.

"Just because I _think_ that I won't hurt you doesn't mean I'll bite my tongue." countered Nicole, sighing heavily. "Don't be mad at Chrissy, Waverly. She really helped me, and I know a part of you is mad that it wasn't you who fully brought me to where I am now, but I made her swear that she'd keep our sessions a secret. I just didn't want to feel pressured to get better automatically."

"I won't get angry at her." promised Waverly, but was already imagining the conversation she'd be having with her best friend the next time they got together.

"Well," interjected Wynonna, mainly to make her presence known. "Now that we've established that Nicole isn't a two-timing bi-"

"Wynonna!" Waverly interrupted.

"I guess I can stop picturing where I'll bury your body." said Wynonna casually, a grin in place before it slipped away as she looked at Nicole with concern. "You okay, Haught?"

"I marvel at how quick your demeanor changes." said Nicole, half-awed and half-amused.

"I gotta keep you on your toes." winked Wynonna. "The boys dig it."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what Doc and Dolls love about you." drawled Nicole.

"Hey! Don't you dare say the word 'love'." warned Wynonna. "But yeah, having a killer body certainly helps me, too."

"Anyway," exclaimed Nicole with an eye roll. "Waverly?"

Waverly, who was watching the back-and-forth banter between her sister and her girlfriend, slowly nodded her head, and stepped forward. She took Nicole hand in hers, and carefully brought her open palm to her lips. When she looked up into Nicole's eyes, she nodded silently.

"I..." Nicole trailed off dumbly. "I know I'm ready to tell you what happened, but I didn't ask if _you're_ ready to _hear_ it."

It was true, she never thought of asking Waverly if she was prepared to take in everything she had to say. She just figured that Waverly would be ready to listen whenever she was ready to talk about it. Her uncertainty washed away the second Waverly nodded vigorously.

"Of course... Whatever happened happened, and I want, no, _need_ to know what you went through." said Waverly seriously. "It's a part of you now, even if we don't like it, and I want to know everything about you... Even the bad, scary parts."

"Okay, lead the way then." said Nicole gently after she pulled Waverly in for a searing kiss.

"I guess I'll be here." muttered Wynonna, but neither listened to her as they ascended the stairs.

...

Nicole sobbed as her wrists throbbed. The barbed wire was tearing into the burn welts on her flesh, and she couldn't fight back the tears anymore. The skin over her heart stung with every stuttering breath she took, and the carved heart burned just as horribly as her wrists. If she wasn't tied down, she'd have curled into herself while waiting for whatever else they had planned for her.

Nicole had long ago gave up on hoping she'd be found on time. She believed she was going to die at Bartholomew and Samuel's hands, and they made sure she felt everything until the serene calmness of death claimed her. The two revenants momentarily left Nicole to her own devices, but she felt no relief or comfort in the absence. They'd come back, and they'd come back harder and meaner than before.

A familiar cackle echoed in her ears, and it sent a shudder down her spine. Nicole bit her lip to conceal the whimper that hung on the tip of her tongue just behind her clamped lips. The door was long ago broken, just barely hanging by the hinges from the amount of force behind the several slams, so the laugh was the only indication that anyone was in the room with her.

Samuel was looming over her with a wild look in his red eyes. His yellowing teeth showed as his lips twisted in a feral snarl. He grabbed her chin with a surprisingly gentle grip. His thumb brushed over her cheek as he noticed the tear stains trailing from her eyes. His own eyes narrowed, and his blackened fingernails dug into her cheeks.

"You've been cryin'?" he snarled, eyeing her curiously. "You've had it pretty damn easy compared to these other bitches."

He waved his arm behind him to indicate the different body parts strewn around the room. There was an arm in the corner of the room, and from reading the words tattooed across the skin several times in the span of being restrained in the room, she deciphered that the woman had a young son. The name 'Brandon' was scrawled onto the flesh along with 'July 11, 2014', and just looking at it made Nicole sick to her stomach.

"These women... They had families!" exclaimed Nicole with a faint sob.

"They had families?" questioned Samuel, fury underlining his curious tone. " _I_ had a family! You think that stopped Wyatt? Hell fuckin' no! Why should they get mercy?"

"You've been put down for a reason!" argued Nicole, the fight somewhat back inside her.

"'Put down'? Bitches get 'put down', and I ain't no bitch." growled Samuel, moving to scrape his fingernails across her welts on her wrist, and relished in Nicole's whimpers.

"You're certainly acting like one!" hissed Nicole through clenched teeth, and Samuel pulled away.

"You think yer so funny, don't ya?" snarled Samuel before he picked up two severed hands and began clapping them together. "That was hilarious, lemme give you a round of applause."

He dropped the hands, and was hovering over Nicole in an insist. His fingers dug into the carved heart, and it brought about a fresh wave of blood. Nicole cried out in pain, and another chuckle mingled in with Samuel's.

"Now, now, Samuel... Don't _ruin_ my art. I worked so hard." murmured Bartholomew, but his tone was serious. "You can touch her anywhere else, but you will _not_ tamper with my carving, I thought we discussed this."

"Fine," growled Samuel, turning back to Nicole. "If it were up to me, I'd give you a real reason to cry."

Nicole flinched as his fist collided with the table beside her head. His hand soon relaxed, and his fingers fanned out across the surface, the tips of his thumb and pointer finger disappearing into fiery tresses.

"If it were up to me, I'd tear you apart and laugh as you rot away." hissed Samuel, his other hand moving to grab her throat.

At first, his fingertips gently caressed the flesh of her throat. It was slow, almost like he was memorizing every detail of it. His fingers wrapped around her throat tightly, and spots danced across her vision. As quickly as it came, the tight grasp was gone, and his fingernails clawed down her collarbone, leaving a trail of red marks in their wake.

"If it were up to me, I'd show you exactly what you've been missin'."

"Samuel," barked Bartholomew, his eyes narrowing into a death glare. "How many times do I _insist_ that you refrain yourself from such asinine acts like that?"

"How many times do I listen?" countered Samuel, his eyes never leaving a trembling Nicole.

"Do whatever you please, but you will restrain yourself from partaking in such horrendous activities." commanded Bartholomew.

"So touchy," muttered Samuel, rolling his eyes. "Fine, I'll just have to have fun in some other way."

Nicole shook in fright as Samuel took the barbed wire into his hand, and ripped it off with ease, his skin never breaking upon contact. Once both hands were free, Nicole could at least say she attempted to fight, but Samuel just hauled her up by the front of her unbuttoned shirt as if she were a mere ragdoll.

She was thrown to the floor with a boot pressed firmly into her gut. Nicole glanced up, and swallowed down her terror at the manic gleam in her attacker's eye before he brought his foot up, and slammed it down into her abdomen with enough force to rip the air from her lungs. Tears obscured her vision as the foot was forced down again and again.

Nicole could practically feel the bruises that were going to form later on, and just when she thought she was about to faint from the agony exploding in her abdomen and ribs, Samuel suddenly ceased his onslaught, and peered down at her in frustration.

"This ain't fun enough!" he snarled at Bartholomew. "What's the damn point in beatin' 'er ass if there's rules?"

"The rule is that you cannot kill her, Samuel." drawled Bartholomew acidly. "It seems like a wide range to me."

Samuel growled, and reached down to yank Nicole to her feet. Her back collided with the broken door, and she groaned when the handle dug into the small of her back. His frustration and fury was radiating off him in waves, and his putrid breath was all she could smell. Dread settled like a rock inside Nicole's gut as she basically saw an idea form in Samuel's eyes.

"Hey, Bart?"

"What, Samuel?" growled Bartholomew, growing irritated by the nickname.

"Hang 'er from the ceiling for me, and I'll be right back." grinned Samuel, his yellow teeth on full display.

Bartholomew was suddenly standing over her, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he was also intrigued. Without even sparing Nicole a glance, he had the front of her unbuttoned uniform shirt in his hands, and he was leading her to the center of the room where a pair of shackles were dangling from the ceiling. The metal was frigid against her warm wrists.

Nicole couldn't hold back the shocked whimper as the shackles dug into her blisters. Fresh blood oozed from the wounds, and Nicole couldn't bring herself to look up as she felt warm liquid trickling down her arms. She lashed out with her feet, trying her hardest to find some sort of surface to push herself up on. Bartholomew chuckled lowly to himself as he idly watched the display.

There was a reverberating smack, and Nicole's head shot up. Samuel was standing in the doorway with a thick leather belt in his hands. With inhuman speed, he stepped up to Nicole, and laughed mockingly as she flailed about. She tried to glare down at him, but it had no affect whatsoever. Samuel twirled the leather belt around in his hands as he stalked around her dangling form as if he were a predator sizing up his prey.

"It's been such a long time since I was a human." remarked Samuel casually.

"I'm startin' to believe you were never human, even back then." spat Nicole, her accent thickening due to her stress.

"Someone's thinkin' they're big enough to talk back to me?" chuckled Samuel incredulously, like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard in his life. "You won't be so brave when yer insides are scattered across the floor, ya bitch."

The leather smacked against Nicole's outer thigh with inhuman strength, and Nicole cried out in pain. The harsh sting of the blow didn't have time to dull down to a sharp throb before another swing hit her hard, and it felt as though fire was spreading up and down her leg.

"Aren't talkin' a big game now, are ya?" crooned Samuel heatedly. "You are nothin', ya hear me? Nothin'... I'm sure yer friends think so too seein' as they ain't here."

"They'll come for me." argued Nicole weakly, not fully believing the words herself.

"See, that's where yer wrong." chuckled Samuel, reeling his arm back and unleashing another strong blow, this time to Nicole's sore abdomen. "You think you mean somethin' to them? What do you offer that they don't already have? That pretty little thing has all the research, that deputy fella has resources, the heir has that gun, and ol' Doc Holliday himself has information... What do _you_ have? Nothin'. Who says they're even _lookin'_ for ya?"

Nicole had nothing to say to that. She hung her head low, and didn't see Samuel turning the belt around. The rather large buckle swung heavily through the air, and she had no warning when it collided with her side. Perhaps if her shirt was buttoned properly, the fabric would have been thick enough to keep prevent the sharp edges from cutting shallowly into her flesh. Blood was leaking out of her wound, and was spilling down her skin. It mirrored the fresh wave of tears that rushed down her cheeks without her permission. All Nicole heard for the next hour was the harsh laughter and the slaps as leather met her skin.

...

Nicole's eyes were glazed over as she stared out the window. Unbeknownst to her, her fingers were ghosting over the small scar on her side. Waverly stood by the closed door, just watching Nicole's movements. They hadn't spoken a word since they reached the bedroom five minutes ago. The moment Nicole sat on the foot of the bed, it looked like she fell into a memory, and a cruel one at that.

Waverly swallowed thickly. She thought she was so desperate to hear Nicole's story before, but seeing how desolate her girlfriend was, Waverly wasn't so sure she was prepared for what she was about to hear. While the silence was loud enough to be heard, Waverly wouldn't be the one to break it; That was Nicole's right.

"Bartholomew was horrible." murmured Nicole quietly. "He took over my body and sent me to Hell, but it was always Samuel I feared most."

Waverly's eyes fluttered shut on their own accord. She was well aware of how disgustingly horrid Bartholomew was. He became the monster she loathed most in her entire life, and she had quite a few demons that still haunted her. She didn't have much time to consider Samuel in the short time she saw him between meeting him and Bartholomew shooting him and Wynonna sending him to Hell. To hear that he scared and hurt Nicole more than Bartholomew had, it sent shivers down Waverly's spine.

"He had fun torturing me to the point where I couldn't even think or scream. He was mad that he couldn't kill me, so he was very creative in finding ways to push me to the brink of death, but not enough to actually kill me." continued Nicole hollowly. "But that still wasn't enough to satisfy him... He thought it was unfair that Bartholomew got to leave his mark on me physically, so he decided to leave his scars mentally _and_ emotionally."

Waverly could already feel the first sob forming and shaping in her throat, but she never granted it permission to find its way out of her mouth. Hearing her cry wasn't what Nicole needed at the moment, and Waverly was afraid that the littlest interruption would cause Nicole to swallow everything back down and zip her lips tightly. She only allowed herself to take one tiny step closer to the bed.

"Samuel said hurtful things to me between blows. That was always the funnest part for him... He liked to punctuate every insult with a slap or a punch or a kick." said Nicole mechanically. "His favorite insult was about our relationship. Samuel told me time and time again that you'd just leave me... That this "lifestyle" isn't for you and you'd come to realize that soon enough when you found the right  _man_. He made me feel replaceable."

Waverly's shoulders shook from the sobs trying to fight their way out of her mouth. It was taking everything in her to keep her tears and sobs at bay, but Waverly knew that the more Nicole talked, the sooner she'd fall apart. She chanced another small step forward.

"I don't know, maybe I am replaceable." muttered Nicole, glancing down at her hands, and jumped a little when soft hands took hold of hers.

" _No_!" exclaimed Waverly, her voice shaking as much as it was breaking. "You will _never_ be _replaceable_. The thought of losing you in any way hurts me in such a way that I can't breathe. I can't live without you, Nicole!"

Nicole smiled gently before she ducked her head. Her hair fell to curtain her face, hiding it from view, and Waverly felt the urge to brush it away. However, something told her that Nicole felt at ease with her face blocked, so she fought against her urge, and just waited silently for her girlfriend to continue.

"Samuel liked to tell me that you guys would never find me, that y'all didn't even care enough to look... That it wouldn't matter if I wasn't found in the first place." Nicole pressed on sadly. "I held on to the hope of you guys rescuing me on time for a while, but it's so hard to believe when you're tied down with barbed wire and the exact opposite is being beaten into you for some time."

Waverly heard the hitch in Nicole's voice as she forced herself to relive what had happened to her. Waverly pulled her hands free so she could clap them over her mouth. She was aware of the barbed wire, but it still stung Waverly to hear about. The broken sobs were so close now. They were just behind her teeth, and Waverly couldn't say anything because she was afraid that if she so much as opened her mouth, her cries would free fall, and she wouldn't be able to rein them back in.

She could only watch as Nicole leaned forward with her elbows digging into her thighs. Her head fell into her hands. Waverly paused for a moment before she carefully reached out her hand to place onto Nicole's back. Her heart shattered into little pieces inside her chest when she felt Nicole's back shaking. _Oh, baby._

"He made me feel so worthless and frightened, and that was _just_ Samuel. It didn't help any when Bartholomew joined in." Nicole cried as she vigorously scrubbed at her eyes. "Do you know how I got this?"

Waverly whispered a 'no' when Nicole pointed to her chest.

"He took a scalpel, and he held it over a flame, and just when he grew tired of my screams when he held the blade flat against my skin, he began carving into me." hiccuped Nicole, and Waverly sobbed once before she slapped a hand over her mouth again. "You can cry if you want... Don't hold back on my part."

Nicole didn't have time to finish her sentence before Waverly sobbed over and over again. Her shoulders shook violently from the force of them, her stomach heaved from the force of them. Strong arms were suddenly wrapped around her shaking frame, and Waverly buried her face into the crook of Nicole's neck. A part of her felt guilty. It was _her_ job to comfort and hold Nicole, yet there she was, crying and sobbing so hard that Nicole had to hold her together as she fell to pieces.

"I-I'm s-sorry," cried Waverly between breaths. "I'm s-supposed to h-help you!"

"Waverly," sighed Nicole, burying her face in Waverly's hair. "You _are_ helping me. I had to get this out to the most important person in my life, and just listening to me is taking a load off. It makes me feel better knowing that you care about me enough to have this sort of reaction."

Waverly pulled back and eyed Nicole suspiciously. She didn't believe that she was helping any by crying into her shoulder, but Waverly felt that it wouldn't go very well to argue with Nicole at the moment seeing as they were both feeling raw and emotional.

"I'm sorry," whispered Waverly subconsciously.

"For what?"

Waverly cringed inwardly for letting the apology slip. There were so many things in which she was apologizing for, and she knew Nicole enough to know that she wouldn't accept any of the reasons. She felt the need to apologize for what had happened to her. Waverly felt like simply _knowing_ her warranted an apology. However, this was about Nicole, and she shouldn't be drowning in her own self-pity.

"If only you didn't even know me and Wynonna... You wouldn't-" started Waverly sorrowfully, but Nicole wouldn't let her finish.

"As horrible as what happened to me was, I don't regret getting to know you and Wynonna for a minute." Nicole interrupted fiercely. "Life would be pretty bland without you in it, Waverly Earp."

"It would also be safer!" Waverly argued while running a hand through her hair.

"No one can be safe all the time, Waves, you know that. Accidents happen, it's real unfortunate, but they do happen." insisted Nicole, running her fingers over Waverly's chin. "Why would I deny myself the happiness that comes with you being in my life just for safety that isn't even real?"

"Do you ever blame me, Nicole?" questioned Waverly, pulling away to look Nicole in the eye. "Do you ever just take a moment to realize that most of the bad things that happened to you is because you're around me or Wynonna?"

"I'm aware that it was revenants that took me on both occasions, and I'm also aware that they come with the territory, like some sort of weird package deal, but they aren't enough to make me run for the hills." assured Nicole with a small chuckle. "Haven't you been listening? If I was scared off by the thought of revenants, it wouldn't have gotten to me so much when he made me question our relationship."

"I love you." whispered Waverly, her voice tight as she surged forward to cling to Nicole. "Do you want to go on? We can stop now if you'd like."

"I might as well continue. I'm only ever going to say all this one time and I'd rather do it all at once." said Nicole.

"Okay," mumbled Waverly, leaning her head gently over Nicole's heart, and let the steady beat comfort her.

...

There were no more tears left to cry. Her throat was so raw and torn that it physically hurt to sob. It hurt to breathe, hurt to think, and it was even agonizing to feel _anything_. Her entire body was sore and bruised, but Nicole didn't care; she couldn't.

Nicole forced herself to push down any emotion. The only thing she allowed herself to feel was the agonizing pain that made itself known in every inch of her being. All she wanted was for the torture to stop, and seeing as no one was even looking for her, it only left one thing: death. Nicole closed her eyes, and only let herself fall into the pain in hopes that it would bring death sooner.

Bartholomew and Samuel bent her will. They wouldn't allow her to eat, sleep, and if Samuel had it his way, she wouldn't even be allowed to breathe. They had full control over her and everything she did. Her actions weren't her own anymore, her _life_ wasn't her own. She wasn't allowed to feel anything other than complete sorrow and pain, and she wasn't allowed to have happy thoughts. Samuel was _sure_ of that.

But there was one thing they had no control over. There was one thing that she could do freely without them taking it away from her. She could bleed. Bartholomew and Samuel took several things away from her; Her strength, her will, her freedom, her happiness... But they could never take away her ability to bleed. It was all she had left, and it was all she could do.

To Nicole, bleeding was a luxury, and she relished in it. The revenants had forgotten all about the barbed wire seeing as Nicole couldn't move any part of her body. As she crumpled on the ground surrounded by rotting body parts, Nicole focused solely on her own pool of blood. It was a deep scarlet color, almost black from the dull bulb that was flickering.

It took a lot of Nicole's remaining energy to swipe a single finger through the growing pool. Her hand shook as she stared, almost reverently so, down at the thick crimson that dribbled down her pointer finger. She touched her fingers together before separating them just to watch the thin strings of blood stretch before breaking entirely.

The hand dropped into the puddle with a slap, and drops of blood flew in every direction, even onto Nicole's face. It was so crazy that Nicole began to chuckle quietly to herself despite the protest of her searing throat. The chuckles grew in volume until they were manic howls. When Bartholomew and Samuel rushed into the room with confusion written all over their faces, Nicole was curled into a ball, and was a sobbing mess.

"Please," sobbed Nicole desperately. "I can't do it anymore. Please just kill me and get it over with."

"I'm afraid we can't do that." said Bartholomew offhandedly.

"What?!" snarled Samuel, his voice deepening drastically. "The bitch is _askin'_ for it, Bart! Lemme kill 'er!"

"And lose our bargaining chip?" snapped Bartholomew in frustration. "Do you never think about things in the long run?"

"Why think about the future when I can live in the now?" hissed Samuel, his fists clenching by his sides.

"The only reason we snatched Miss Haught is because of her ties with the Earps, you pea-sized brain fucker!" bellowed Bartholomew, his patience quickly slipping away like water through fingers.

The air changed significantly. The atmosphere before was tense and electric, like the calm before the storm, but now it was explosive. The affects were immediate; the fine hairs on Nicole's arms were raised, and her spine wouldn't bend. Bartholomew and Samuel were shouting insults towards each other, and while it was uncomfortable to be the third-wheel to an argument, it was terrifying to witness such an animalistic back-and-forth between the demons. Nicole just hoped the storm would come quickly and mercifully rip everything apart.

...

"I wanted to die." Nicole choked out, her eyes burning every time she blinked. "Some people are queasy at the sight of blood, and some are immune to it... but I loved the sight of it."

Waverly's mouth fell open the tiniest bit as she stared at Nicole with wide eyes. She didn't expect to hear that come from her girlfriend's mouth. She never expected anyone to really say they enjoyed the sight of their own blood, and while it was a bit disturbing, Waverly pushed her uneasiness aside.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said." chuckled Nicole flatly. "Bartholomew and Samuel controlled everything I did, everything that would happen to me, and they took everything from me, but they could never take away my ability to bleed. That was all I had left that they could _never_ take away from me, so it became kinda sacred in a way. It was my safety blanket."

Waverly felt another wave of tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. She swallowed thickly past the lump in her throat, and turned her eyes to the ceiling in hopes of keeping the wetness in her eyes away. Once she counted every single board of the ceiling, she finally braced herself for more of the story.

"Do you know how hard it is to hear people tell me how brave and strong I am for surviving the kidnapping and torture when all I did was cry and beg and plead to die?" cried Nicole, her voice wavering and cracking in several places. "I was anything but brave and strong, Waverly... I was terrified and weak."

"Stop right there," ordered Waverly fiercely. "Just because you were scared of being _tortured_ doesn't mean you're weak, Nicole. It means you're human! Everyone is afraid of something, and being afraid of two psychotic revenants doesn't sound crazy at all."

"I screamed and begged for death, Waverly!" insisted Nicole brokenly. "I _wanted_ to die, and yet I'm alive... I bet those other women cried and pleaded for someone to _save_ them. They wanted to live, but they all died while I got to survive. What kind of unfair crap is that?"

"You're going to drive yourself crazy with that." said Waverly with a frown. "You can never know what those other women thought-"

"Oh, I think I can seeing as I went through it, too." interrupted Nicole, but there was no malice lacing her words. She was just so drained.

"All people go through tragedy differently, Nicole." countered Waverly thoughtfully. "You can never know what went through _their_ minds. You aren't responsible for what happened to them either, so you shouldn't be feeling this survivor's guilt."

"If I don't carry this guilt, who will?" questioned Nicole with a sigh. "They're all dead and no one even feels bad about it except me."

"It's not your job to carry around this guilt." insisted Waverly. "Just because you lived doesn't mean it's your fault that they didn't. It's Bartholomew and Samuel's fault, and they are exactly where they belong."

"It's not enough." mumbled Nicole with a sigh. "Those women deserve so much more. Their families deserve so much more! _I_ deserve more."

"You do deserve more, and they deserve more." agreed Waverly seriously, her fingers gently running through Nicole's hair. "So what is it that you want, sweetheart?"

"I want to be free... _They_ want to be free." said Nicole with a sniffle. "We'll never be free, Waverly... not entirely. What is freedom when you have to constantly look over your shoulder? What is freedom when you can't fall asleep because you have to repeatedly open your eyes to reassure yourself that no one's there? What is freedom when you look at your body and see the evidence of what they did? I'll never be free."

Waverly was at a loss for words. The stinging in her eyes gave way to the tears leaving trails on her face. The youngest Earp was usually so precise and accurate with her words when she wanted to get her point across or get her way, but she was floundering in her broken vocabulary as she watched Nicole retreating into herself. All Waverly could do was watch as the walls rebuilt around her girlfriend, and all she had was a toothpick for a chisel.

Waverly let out a shuddering breath before she scooted closer to Nicole on the bed. She remembered back then in the barn. It seemed so long ago and like it was just yesterday all at the same time. She was so exhausted with everything in her life. At first, she was so excited to have another chance with Willa, but then the cruel memories filtered into her brain, and then it was like it was back in her childhood with Wynonna following along with her tormentor.

Then there was the fact that she so desperately wanted to tell Wynonna about her relationship with Nicole. Waverly wanted to have more faith in her sister's open-mindedness, but the thought of Wynonna's love for her dwindling because of her sexuality was a terrifying one. Then the pressure she put on herself to quickly come out weighed heavily on her mind and shoulders. Waverly was so sure that Nicole was getting frustrated with her for how long it was taking her to unveil their relationship, even though Nicole herself assured her time and time again.

Just like back then, Waverly mirrored Nicole's actions, and moved closer. She reached up to gently brush away the hair hiding her face, and when Nicole glanced up, blinking owlishly, Waverly placed the lightest of kisses to her jaw. When she pulled back, Nicole had her eyes closed, and was leaning forward to connect their lips. It was only when they both needed air did they separate.

"If you have people who love you, isn't that a step closer to freedom?" Waverly whispered, her lips barely brushing against Nicole's. "I'll look over your shoulder for you. I won't close my eyes at night so you _can_. As for your body, we'll work through that together. I'll never let you feel anything less than beautiful and breathtaking."

"What about the other women? What about their families? What about _Brandon_?" questioned Nicole, her voice hitching on the name.

"Who's Brandon?" Waverly asked, cocking her head in confusion.

"I saw his name tattooed on one of the severed arms." Nicole choked out past the lump in her throat. "He's probably missing his mom."

"Nedley is looking into the case, Nicole." said Waverly, resting their foreheads together. "Let him take care-"

"But I need to help!" insisted Nicole, her voice rising. "I was taken like they were, it's my-"

"Don't you dare say "responsibility", Nicole, because it's not your responsibility." argued Waverly. "I understand that you feel this survivor's guilt, and what happened to them is tragic, I feel sad thinking about their fates, too, but did you physically harm those women?"

"No, but-"

"Did you... slaughter them?" Waverly countered, pausing to steel herself to say it.

"I'd never-"

"Did you kill all those women?"

"No!"

"Then give me one good reason as to why this is your fault." Waverly deadpanned.

"Because! I..." snapped Nicole, but trailed off when she couldn't think of a different reason other than the ones she'd already said.

"Bartholomew and Samuel were the monsters who hurt them... not you. Their reasons were their own, and their actions were their own. You had _nothing_ to do with those women, Nicole, surely you know that deep down."

Nicole said nothing. She turned her head away to look out the window, and just stared out into the bleak blackness that was enveloping the Homestead. There were no stars visible to break through the eerie blanket of darkness. From inside the house, Nicole couldn't even see the moon, and the thought of no light was frightening.

"I still see them sometimes." muttered Nicole after a minute of silence. "When I'm walking down the street, I see one of them out of the corner of my eye, and when I turn to double check, they aren't there, but my heart still beats fast. When I close my eyes, I'm afraid to open them because I think one of them will be there when I open my eyes. When the night gets real dark like this, I _hear_ them lurking in the shadows."

"Tell me what you need, Nicole." pressed Waverly while she pulled gently at Nicole's chin to get the officer to look at her. "What do you need to feel safe? I'll do anything."

"Stay with me?"

Waverly's smile with gentle, but it was also sad, and it mirrored in her eyes. She wordlessly nodded her head, and guided Nicole to lean back onto the bed. She carefully put a hand on Nicole's chest, and pushed herself up off the bed so she could kneel down and unlace Nicole's shoes. Once Waverly threw those over her shoulder with a _thud_ , she rested one knee on the bed while she reached forward to unbutton her girlfriend's jeans.

There was nothing sexual about undressing Nicole. The moans that usually accompanied the undressing were replaced by a blank stare up at the ceiling. When the pants were removed, next went the shirt, and then Waverly stripped down herself. Soon, they were both lying underneath the blanket, Nicole flat on her back with Waverly's head tucked under her chin and an arm thrown across her stomach.

"You can close your eyes." offered Waverly quietly. "I'll never let anything get you again, you can trust me."

"M'kay," whispered Nicole.

When Waverly peered up at Nicole, her eyes were still opened and glued to the ceiling. She sighed to herself before she cuddled back up to Nicole. Her fingers were idly drawing random figures across her bare stomach, and they ghosted over the small scar that Nicole was touching before. Waverly leaned up onto her elbow, and moved forward so she could press her lips against the mark marring her girlfriend's skin.

"You know how I got that?" Nicole asked, and continued when Waverly shook her head. "They hung me from the ceiling, and Samuel brought out a thick leather belt. Once he hit me a few times, he used the buckle."

"From time to time I wish I could've been the one to break the curse, and this is the most I've ever wanted to be the heir." growled Waverly angrily. "I wish I could've shot that shit ticket myself."

Nicole's lips twitched slightly, and her fingers found their way into Waverly's hair. Waverly pulled back, and offered a small nod before she leaned herself back onto the bed beside Nicole. Their fingers intertwined between them, and after a quiet moment of just staring up at the wooden boards overhead, Waverly finally released the words that were trying to pry her lips apart.

"For the last month, I've been so afraid that one day you'd wake up and blame me and Wynonna for what happened to you." Waverly whispered quietly, refusing to break the calmness that settled upon them by raising her voice. " _I_ started to blame myself for what happened to you."

"I could never blame you." Nicole whispered right back. "Like you said before, Bartholomew and Samuel's actions are their own."

"But their reasons are their own, too, and the only reason they took you was because of me and Wynonna." countered Waverly, covering her face with both her hands.

"Hey," said Nicole, pulling Waverly's hands away from her face. "I'm alive, okay? I'm a little dinged up, but I'm alive. Feel my heart?"

Nicole took one of Waverly's hands into her own, and guided it to her chest. She spread her palm flat onto the thick gauze wrapped over her heart, and watched Waverly's reaction when they finally felt the faint rhythm of her pounding heart.

"I can never control it when I'm around you." grinned Nicole, sending Waverly a wink.

"You can never turn down your charm, can you?" teased Waverly with a snort, but she quickly turned serious. "Are you feeling alright?"

"No," responded Nicole in a matter-of-fact tone. "But I will be eventually. Are _you_ alright?"

"Nope," answered Waverly with a shrug, and turned onto her side to look at Nicole. "But I will be."

"You wanna get better together?" questioned Nicole with a sarcastic grin.

"Always," whispered Waverly with a radiant smile, and she squeezed Nicole's hand. "Close your eyes, Nicole... Let me protect you."

Nicole hummed lowly, and after getting a reassuring glance from Waverly, she finally closed her eyes. Her initial reaction was to fling them open and look around, but when she did, Waverly shushed her gently, and began running her fingers through Nicole's hair. It happened a few more times, but after the fourth time, Nicole finally relaxed with Waverly's fingers running along her scalp while she hummed a soft tune in her ear.

"I love you, Nicole, and I'm never letting you go again." whispered Waverly, and she planted a soft kiss on both eyelids, both cheeks, and left a lingering kiss on her lips.

"Don't let me go," mumbled Nicole, finally slipping into unconsciousness, and she let Waverly fight off her demons, even if it was just for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it folks... Longest chapter by far, even longer than my one-shot... I hope it was worth the wait, I hope it was as powerful as promised, and a darker part of me hopes you cried. Did you? Lemme know.
> 
> Also, Avrilsky gave me a shout out, so here's mine. I'm pretty sure that a lot of people have read Avrilsky's work 'From Afar', but if you haven't, why not? If you love slow burn (that really is slow, but it burns so fantastically) with a wayhaught endgame and a slice of some kick ass Nicole backstory, that's the story you just have to check out after this one.


	25. Gotta Cross Bridges That You Burned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimpses into the past with Victor, and a pleasant argument

It was two mornings after she opened up to Waverly, laying everything onto the table, and Nicole was sitting across from Victor. They were occupying a table in the back of Shorty's which was under different management after Bobo was blown back to Hell. It was still pretty loud and slightly difficult to hear, but it was relatively private.

The day before, Nicole ran into Victor while at the little market gathering ingredients for dinner, and after sharing a few smiles and sentences, Nicole decided to invite him to get a beer at the local saloon. Victor was thrilled, and even after years of hostility and blatant disregard, Nicole could still recall the way his dark eyes would sparkle when he held back his enthusiasm the best he could.

Waverly and Wynonna joined along, but chose a different table as to give the two Haughts privacy. Waverly had wrapped her arms around Nicole's neck while peppering her lips with small kisses. Nicole had smiled all throughout the onslaught of kisses, and Waverly let her know that she was in the vicinity if she was needed, and Wynonna nodded her agreement with a genuine smile. The Earps really did know how to offer their services without being overbearing.

Victor set down his half-empty glass onto the table that had years worth of rings scattered across the surface. Nicole simply ran her finger over the condensation dripping down her glass. She was off the medication now, and she was ready to take full advantage. They sat in a silence that started out as comfortable, but was soon steering into awkward.

"So,"

"I-"

Victor and Nicole chuckled uncomfortably as they both interrupted the other. Victor wordlessly waved his hand as an offer to go first. Nicole took a deep breath, and forced her shoulders to relax. For the first time in a while, Waverly helped her relieve some of the pressure she became used to carrying around on her shoulders, and she wasn't about to add on more.

"Look, we can be here just as friends." insisted Nicole, gently patting her hand on top of the glass. "We've been getting along as such for some time now, so why put this unnecessary pressure on it?"

"Yeah, you're right," agreed Victor swiftly. "So, uh, how was your day?"

"'How was your day?' Seriously?" questioned Nicole before she laughed a little. "This conversation is doomed to fail if you start off with that."

"It wasn't my finest opener, I admit," grumbled Victor, but was smiling inwardly at the fact he brought a laugh out of Nicole. "But it's better than 'How about this weather?', don't you think?"

Victor couldn't hold back his triumphant smile as Nicole began to laugh yet again. He wasn't the best when it came to reading Nicole, and that was on him, but he was trying to be better. Although, he was attuned to certain things about her, and she couldn't hide how haunted her eyes had become. Victor was perfectly aware that _something_ happened to his sister seeing as she landed herself into the hospital when he first came into town, and it was obviously horrible.

Nicole looked so... normal to him, and that startled Victor and made him uneasy. She looked how she did when she finally dropped her packed bags onto the floor by the front door all those years ago, her eyes red as she sniffled, and told their father that she had had enough and that she was leaving. Her eyes held a deep-seeded hurt and anger, and her shoulders were slumped, like she was defeated and she didn't give a damn at all.

When their father said nothing, and only offered her a mere shrug of his shoulders, Nicole scoffed quietly to herself, and turned her eyes to the ceiling. It was a habit of hers when she was about to cry and she wanted to remain strong and keep the tears back. When she stumbled out the door, and gently closed it behind herself, that's when Victor truly knew she was gone. If she was simply furious, she would have slammed the door only to sneak back in later on into the night, but when she merely closed it, it was a sign that she had given up, that she didn't care anymore.

So when Nicole reminded Victor of how she used to look in their final days together, he knew that something was wrong, and her mind was troubled. As their little chats grew longer and more often, he would catch more things, and it only fueled his desire to help his sister. That, and the fact that he hoped that if he got closer to Nicole, she'd let him in on what was really going on around Purgatory. Something just wasn't right about the new place that Nicole called home, and he wanted to know what.

"Yeah, I flat out would've just got up and left if you'd have used that line." chuckled Nicole, taking a drink of her beer. "So tell me, what have you been getting up to in Purgatory?"

"Well, I've been struggling to find work around here." muttered Victor with a frown. "Everyone around here sees me as the outsider, and by just glancing at me, they think I'm not "country" enough to get my hands dirty by being a ranch hand."

Victor was actually used to hard labor. Throughout his years in high school, he took part in several programs that taught him how to weld, taught him the basics of carpentry, and taught him the fundamentals of electrical wiring. It looked fantastic on his applications for college, but it was also handy to know how to do those type of things. But at first glance, it wouldn't be a dead giveaway, and unfortunately in Purgatory, first glances were everything for outsiders.

"Yeah, Purgatory's like that." sighed Nicole sympathetically, remembering the looks that were shot her way when she first arrived in Purgatory. "I heard that Tom was hiring."

Tom was the owner of the store on the corner of town where one could buy everything for a planned camping trip. He had backpacks, tents, fishing poles... It was basically heaven for the standard outdoors man. Victor nodded thoughtfully, and smiled with a far-off look in his eye.

"Remember when... nevermind." dismissed Victor quickly, looking away while cringing internally. _We're here as friends! Don't bring up memories so fast!_

"Uh, go ahead," insisted Nicole cautiously. There weren't many fantastic memories with the two siblings, but there were some, and she was sure that Victor would be smart enough to steer clear of the bad ones for the moment.

"Remember back when we were small kids and we went camping?" Victor asked carefully, and Nicole thought back before nodding her head with a little grin.

...

If there was one word that could describe Nicole Haught, it would be adventurous, and in Victor's opinion, she was his hero. Anything that she conquered first, he scampered after to copy.

When Nicole slept out in the backyard, the next night he begged his big sister to sleep out there with him to keep him company. When Nicole slid down the staircase on nothing but a pillow which resulted in a broken arm, he cried on her behalf, made sure he was the very first to sign her cast, and pulled out a bigger pillow as he slid down himself.

So when Nicole scampered up to their father with her eyes bright, and begged him to take them camping, Victor was by her side, pulling the puppy dog pout in hopes of swaying his answer in their favor. Mr. Haught sighed heavily while he set aside his evening paper. His mouth was set in a grim line as he prepared himself to shoot down their request, but Nicole was attuned to his expressions and body language when he was about to let them down, and she was adamant.

"Daddy, _please_!" begged Nicole, tears lining her eyes.

"Please, daddy?" pleaded Victor, his bottom lip sticking out.

Mr. Haught pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed heavily through his nose. His paper had long been crumpled in his balled up fist. His wife was sitting on the couch while she cradled her glass of bourbon. She was massaging her temple as she sipped on her drink.

"Carol, can you please tell your children why we can't go camping?" barked Mr. Haught.

"I don't know, Richard, maybe camping would be a good bonding experience for you and the kids." suggested Carol, her eyes never opening.

"Me?" snapped Richard angrily. "What about _you_? Aren't you going with us?"

"You hear that Victor?" exclaimed Nicole excitedly (plus she wanted to get herself and her brother out of the argument that was coming on). "Daddy said we're going camping!"

"Yeah!" shouted Victor excitedly, and took off up the stairs. "I'm gonna go start packing!"

"Do tell me why you won't be joining us, Carol, seeing as you were so insistent about it." hissed Richard, the paper tearing in his fists.

"Someone has to stay and look after the house, dear." dismissed Carol with the wave of her hand as she took another sip of her drink.

"Oh, really? What will you be up to while I'm gone?" pressed Richard, and Nicole knew she should have took off after her brother, but she couldn't quite bring herself to leave the living room, and it didn't matter since her parents never seemed to care enough to contain themselves in front of their kids.

"I'm going to be doing what I always do when you're gone." answered Carol, her smirk barely withheld. "I'm going to be taking care of the house and cleaning up after these little heathens."

"I'm quite aware of _who_ you'll be doing." spat Richard, and Nicole took off to her room.

It was two weeks before Mr. Haught, Nicole, and Victor arrived at the camp sight with their bags packed. Once everything was set up, their father crawled inside of the tent, and told them to be good or else. He would never finish that threat, but he didn't have to. But the two kids were too excited to really care about the consequences of their actions, so the second they heard Mr. Haught's horrendous snores, Nicole was guiding Victor throughout the woods.

Nicole held Victor's hand tightly as they crawled over logs and ducked under low-hanging branches. The wildlife that surrounded them were scared off by their loud noises, so they didn't really pass by any animals as they trekked further and further into the woods. Every now and again Nicole would pause to climb up a tree, and then she would hang upside down on the branches in front of a giggling Victor.

"Nicole, look!" announced Victor as he pointed forward. "It's an ocean!"

"That's not an ocean, Vicki, that's a lake." corrected Nicole.

"Don't call me that!" grumbled Victor. "That's a girl's name."

"C'mon, Vicki," said Nicole, ignoring his muttering as she took off towards the lake.

Nicole knelt down near the lakeside, and stuck her hand through the murky surface. The sharp chill of the water was a big contrast from the humid June air, and it was inviting. She was soon lying on her front as she plunged her arm into the water. The water rippled as she waved her arm lazily around. Nicole pulled back, repulsed, when her palm glided over something slimy on the bed of the lake.

"Hey, Nicki! Watch this!" called Victor.

Nicole wiped her hand on her pant leg with a grimace, and when she glanced over at her brother, she did a double take. His entire head was submerged in the water, but before she could really pull him out and scold him, he quickly pulled his head from the lake, and fell onto his backside as he sputtered in shock.

"Victor? What happened?" demanded Nicole, and she was kneeling beside her brother, and patted him on his back.

"Wow!" whispered Victor, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. "Nicole, a fish touched my face! It was so awesome!"

"Really? 'Cause you looked a little shocked and scared." teased Nicole with a chuckle. "At least we know that your big head can be used as bait for dinner."

"Hey!"

"What are you two doing?!" bellowed Mr. Haught out of nowhere, and both Nicole and Victor jumped.

Mr. Haught was towering over his kids as he glared down at them. Both his eyes were wide in anger, but his right one was twitching uncontrollably. His stance screamed fury, and both siblings cowered away.

"Um, catching dinner?" squeaked Victor, but flinched when his father's gaze landed on him.

"Well? Where's this _dinner_?" snapped Mr. Haught.

"Uh, he said 'catching', not 'caught'." deadpanned Nicole. She didn't always stand up to her father, but the times she did, her mouth was a lot smarter than she was.

"What did you say?" demanded Mr. Haught in a whisper, and Nicole sighed, her irritation giving way to her fear.

"Nothing," mumbled Nicole, and turned back to the lake.

"You two really want to stay out here and drown?" hissed Mr. Haught, shaking his head as he backed away. "Fine, go ahead."

"Don't worry about us." drawled Nicole in frustration. "I'll look after Victor... something you don't do."

But Mr. Haught was already gone. The mood was ruined, and Victor glanced down sadly. He fiddled with his thumbs, but Nicole covered his hands with her own. She silently picked up a rock at her feet, and she threw it against the surface of the water. Victor's eyes widened in surprise when it skipped across the surface, and he stood up so quickly that he stumbled a little, but Nicole was there to catch him.

"Teach me how to do that!"

Nicole chuckled, and they spent the next two hours flinging rocks into the lake before Victor dunked his head back into the lake despite Nicole's protests. His hand darted through the surface along with his head, and when he resurfaced, he was holding a wiggling fish proudly in his hand that was raised victoriously into the air.

"Dinner!" called Victor happily.

"That's my little brother." smiled Nicole, and hugged him tightly before they headed back to the camp.

...

"Yeah, seems like every good memory has bad parts to counteract it." mumbled Nicole, but she still had a smile on her face. "I hadn't been camping in a long while."

"Me neither," responded Victor.

There was a thick silence suddenly despite the boisterous crowd around them. Victor didn't want to assume anything and offer to make any plans for another camping trip for old time sake, and Nicole wasn't ready to accept the offer if he made it, so they both stayed quiet. There was a ring of water around the bottom of Nicole's glass, and she lifted her glass to wipe it away just so she could have something to do. Victor noticed, and cleared his throat.

"Remember when-"

"Is this trip down memory lane now?" questioned Nicole with an arched eyebrow, and Victor's cheeks colored brightly as he averted his eyes.

"N-no, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" Victor apologized, but Nicole cut him off again.

"Victor, I was joking." assured Nicole, and stuck her hand out, but placed it on the table top rather than his own hand. "What were you talking about?"

"Do you remember when I was seven, and the boys down the street invited me to their sleepover, and I got scared?"

...

Nicole grumbled as her eyes opened blearily. By the way it was dark outside her window, she knew it was still night, and at first, she wasn't sure what woke her up. Her bedside clock said that it was two in the morning, and a flash of frustration ran through her. Whatever dared wake her was about to-

_Ring._

Nicole blinked once, and then furrowed her eyebrows as she flung the blanket off. She wasn't sure why anyone would be calling the house this late, and she figured she'd spare whoever was at the other end of the line from her father's wrath if he were to wake up. She quickly opened her door, dashed downstairs, and picked up the phone just as it was on its final rings.

"Hello?" said Nicole curiously, and she heard a sniffle.

"Nicole?" whispered Victor, his breath catching.

"Victor? What happened? Are you okay?" questioned Nicole rapidly, her hand tangling in the twisty cord as she stared anxiously at the wall.

"I'm scared, Nicole." cried Victor quietly. "Could you tell daddy to come get me?"

Nicole sighed, and squeezed her eyes shut. She leaned back against the wall, and her head gently fell against it. Victor's quiet pleas were whispered into her ear through the receiver, and she slowly opened her eyes to stare up at the ceiling.

"Nicole, please, I don't want to be here anymore, and they made me watch a scary movie!" insisted Victor desperately.

"Victor, you know he's just going to tell you to suck it up and man through it." countered Nicole carefully, and ran a hand through her hair.

"Fine," sniffed Victor, and he was about to hang up when Nicole stopped him quickly.

"That's why _I'm_ going to come and get you. Hold tight, Vic." she whispered, and hung up.

Nicole slipped on her shoes, and quietly opened the door. Her eyes were glued to the ceiling as she carefully closed the door, and once the front door was fully shut, she took off down the road. She knew exactly where the boy's house was, and it was about a ten minute walk. The streetlamps were shining brightly, and tiny insects were flapping around the light, almost in a trance.

The only sounds were Nicole's breathing and her footsteps. Everyone on the block was usually in bed by midnight, so there was no one to run into or tattle on her to her father come morning. The cool autumn air brushed through Nicole's hair with every step she took, and she was beginning to regret leaving her coat at the house, but she was in a rush to get Victor home as quickly as possible.

When she finally arrived at the house, Victor came bounding from the porch, the light shining off his jet black hair. He threw his arms around his big sister, and she felt cool against his warm face. When Nicole pulled back, he was blushing brightly.

"What's got your face looking like that?" questioned Nicole with a wink.

"Do you think I'm a baby?" Victor asked, his head hanging in shame. "Daddy would tell me how much of a girl I'm acting."

"Hey," said Nicole gently, and rested a hand on his shoulder. "It doesn't matter what he thinks."

"Yes it does." responded Victor quietly. "Daddy's opinion is everything to us."

Nicole didn't say anything. He was right on that front, but Victor's feelings meant so much more to her than their father's thoughts at the moment, so she simply took her little brother into her arms, and they embraced right in the middle of a yard that wasn't even theirs. When Nicole pulled away, Victor rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, and she took his other one as they pressed on into the night towards their house.

"C'mon, if we hurry up, I'll let you make a pallet on my floor." offered Nicole, and suddenly Victor was in front of her.

"Hurry up, slowpoke!" called Victor over his shoulder.

"Be quiet or we'll get in trouble!" hissed Nicole, but the smile on her face showed that she was anything but angry.

That night, Victor knocked out easily, but not before he assured a suddenly panicked Nicole that he did, in fact, leave a note on the boy's bedside table about his whereabouts. The next morning, she turned onto her side and glared down at him when she was awoken by their father's angry shouts about receiving a panicked phone call from the parents.

...

"You were such a little shit." chuckled Nicole, signaling the bartender for another round.

"I learned from the best." Victor joked with a grin.

"Nice to know I taught you something," Nicole quipped with a smile of her own.

"You've certainly taught me a lot of things." insisted Victor, and looked away when his grin faltered.

Nicole caught it, but didn't say anything. They weren't at that stage, and for that, Victor was grateful. How could he tell his sister about the guilt that suddenly took residence inside his gut. These good memories were counterproductive. They were bittersweet, and while it brought a small smile to both their faces, once the nostalgia wore off, it only made him realize how much horrible his actions were. But he was trying now, and he was willing to cross bridges that he had burned long ago.

How can you tell the person you basically bullied that _you_ were feeling bad about what happened? Of course they had it worse off than you, but when the weight of what you did settled down, it was crushing, and that's what Victor was feeling. He felt a gaping hole in his chest that was slowly stitching together, but then it was torn clean open once more at the remembrance of his pettiness. Nicole was always such a good sister, and he took that for granted.

"I-" started Victor, but he cut himself off sharply. He had no right to say those three words, even if he remembered the times he used to say it without a second thought.

"Hmm?" hummed Nicole, her eyes gravitating towards his after the bartender stalked away.

"I... I'm glad you're happy here." shouted Victor over the noise. "I'm glad you found Waverly, she's quite the catch."

"Damn right she is!" exclaimed Nicole with a wide smile, her eyes bright, and Victor knew that she had quite a few glasses while they were reliving their past memories while he himself only had one. "She's also _my_ girlfriend, so don't be getting any ideas."

Victor held up his hands as a sign of peace before he crossed his arms over his chest. He leaned back in his chair, and crossed his legs across his part of the table. His eyes scanned across Shorty's, and landed on his sister's girlfriend along with her own sister. Wynonna was certainly drunk, and Waverly was laughing at something she was blabbering about. Their eyes met through the thick crowd of people, and he nodded his head with a small smile.

Waverly returned the smile, and waved a little, but once her eyes landed on Nicole, she arched her eyebrow. Victor glanced over at his sister, and his eyes widened. Her glass was knocked over and was trailing across the table and was spilling onto the floor. Nicole's head was resting on her arm, and her eyes were closed.

"Uh, Nicole?" called Victor loudly, and when he received no answer, he sighed heavily.

"How did I know that I'd be stuck being the designated driver?" teased Waverly, suddenly standing by the table. "Could you help me get her in the car while I rope in Wynonna?"

"Of course," insisted Victor quickly, and winced when his feet fell to the ground heavily in his enthusiasm. "Yours is the Jeep out front right?"

Waverly nodded, and cursed when she turned around to catch Wynonna standing up on the table. "Excuse me, I have to get her."

Victor chuckled when Waverly stormed off to yell at Wynonna about all the safety issues that came along with dancing atop a rickety table that's probably been there since Wyatt's days. Victor shook his head, and continued to struggle getting Nicole onto her feet long enough to throw her arm around his shoulder. Seeing himself assisting his drunk sister brought about one particular memory.

It was one that Nicole wasn't aware that he knew about. For his early stages of childhood, Nicole tried so hard to shield him away from the horrid habits of their parents. However, there were times every now and again where even Nicole couldn't protect his eyes from seeing.

...

Nicole sighed heavily while she ran her fingers through her hair. Victor tiptoed down the staircase after his sister shooed him away. He wasn't quite sure why he was sent away. He was content with playing his video games downstairs while his mom slept away noisily on the couch. She slept so deeply that she didn't even realize she dropped her glass and its contents all over the carpet.

So when Nicole stepped into the living room and sent him to his room, he was too annoyed to actually listen. Victor crept towards the threshold, and peered into the room. Nicole had her back to him, but by how tense she looked, he could tell his sister was irritated. Nicole picked up the fallen glass, but didn't bother with the seeping stain; Victor knew that there were a lot of stains covering the carpet in different designs.

Nicole slammed the glass down with a little too much force, and their mom woke with a start. Victor cowered away in fear that he'd be caught, but he made sure he had a clear view. Nicole crossed her arms across her chest and she glared down at their mom.

"Is it time for breakfast already?" grumbled Mrs. Haught, and she slowly pushed herself up.

"No," said Nicole unevenly. "It's past Victor's bedtime, and you're the one who's sleeping, mom."

Their mom groaned, and leaned forward to cradle her throbbing head in her hands. Victor could hear her swearing under her breath, and he covered his mouth with his hand. He was taught that swearing earned you a real good lashing, so to hear one of the words he learned not to say coming from her mouth was a real shock to him.

"Did you send him up to bed then?" demanded Mrs. Haught, massaging the back of her head.

"Yes," responded Nicole shortly. "Mom-"

"Don't start with me, Nicole." warned Mrs. Haught with a glare. "You know that mommy isn't exactly in the right mind to hear your negativity."

"You mean you aren't sober enough for this." deadpanned Nicole. "And you don't want me to bring you back to reality by telling you how you shouldn't get this drunk in front of Victor."

"Cut the crap, Nicole." groaned Mrs. Haught, hiccuping slightly. "I don't have to sit here and hear this."

"But you're too drunk to get up the stairs on your own, s I guess you're going to hear it anyway." drawled Nicole bitterly.

"Don't talk to your mother like that!" screeched Mrs. Haught. "I get enough crap from your father. What makes you think I want to hear it from you?"

Nicole rolled her eyes, but threw their mom's arm over her shoulder anyway. Victor gulped, and quickly ran up the stairs, taking two at a time. He hid in his room, but left his door cracked so he could still hear the argument between his sister and his mom. He didn't know why they were both so mad. Mom was just asleep, and it wasn't anything new! She was always asleep so Victor barely saw her most days.

"Please, mom, _please_ cut down on how much you drink." begged Nicole, changing tactics. "If not for me, do it for Victor. He needs his mom."

"I'm right here." snapped Mrs. Haught, her head lolling on her shoulders. "He knows his mommy cares about him."

"Does he?" countered Nicole heatedly. "How would he know when you spend most of the time in bed? You barely crawl out of bed in the morning to make him breakfast, and then you're back in your room."

"Victor!" called Mrs. Haught, and Victor jumped back, afraid he'd been seen. "You know I love you."

"Shut up!" hissed Nicole. "I can't let him see you like this!"

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" snapped Mrs. Haught, pulling free from her daughter's grasp. "I'm the adult here, you do not speak to me like that."

"Are you?" argued Nicole, her irritation dripping from her tone like acid. "It seems to me like I'm acting more mature than you are."

A loud smack echoed down the stairs, and Victor couldn't hold back his startled gasp before he clapped his hands over his mouth. Nicole stumbled back in shock while clutching her stinging cheek. Their mom didn't seem affected by what she had done. In fact, she was indifferent to the matter entirely, and she continued to stumble up the staircase without looking back at the hurt on Nicole's face.

"Come now, dear," said Mrs. Haught over her shoulder. "Surely you knew what would happen if you kept running your mouth after I specifically insisted that you stop. You really are like your father."

"Funny, he tells me I act like you." remarked Nicole hollowly.

Victor frowned, and looked down at his feet with a grimace. He always hated it when their parents compared them to the other. Their father was always sitting the siblings down and explaining how awful their mom was. To know that he saw similarities between either himself or Nicole and their mom, they knew he meant it as an insult.

"You are nothing like me." said Mrs. Haught acidly. "You are exactly like him, and I _hate_ him."

With that said, the master bedroom slammed shut. Nicole sat down onto one of the steps, and held her head in her hands. Her shoulders shook, and Victor desperately wanted to go to her, but wouldn't she be mad? Nicole would know that he was listening after she specifically told him to go to bed. Victor was torn, and didn't know what to do, but the decision was made for him when he saw Nicole push herself up.

Just as Victor dove into bed and curled up with his back facing the door, it creaked open farther, and the thin strip of light grew wider. A hand found its way into his hair, and he heard a weary sigh. Victor could tell his sister was so exhausted, and he didn't understand why before, but watching how she interacted with their mom, he understood a little bit.

Victor knew that after a deep sleep, their mom seemed to forget everything from the night before, and he expected no less tomorrow. She wouldn't remember any of the horrible things she had said, and Nicole wouldn't bring them up. She'd merely offer their mom a tight-lipped smile in the morning followed by a clipped 'good morning', and before, Victor was none the wiser. But now, he could catch the little things that were hidden from him before.

"Goodnight, Victor... At least someone is sober enough to tell you that at night." sighed Nicole before she pushed herself away and to the doorway, and shut the door while mumbling, "I love you."

...

By the time Victor reached Waverly's car, his face was stony. He was old enough to understand everything he didn't as a child, and he wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse. Nicole mumbled incoherently before she fell back asleep, and Victor couldn't help but smile at how completely _different_ Nicole was from their mother.

Bother their parents were wrong when they said that Nicole resembled the other. No, Nicole was so much better than both of them combined. Nicole didn't drink to forget reality like their mom did. She didn't blame anyone else when things went wrong like their father did. Nicole didn't have to find her happiness at the bottom of the bottle or in tearing down others, and that was what made her so much more than them.

"I love you, you know?" whispered Victor sadly. "I haven't said it in a long while, and I don't deserve to say it now, but I really do love you, and I'll prove it to you one day, and I'll never make you think otherwise when you see it."

"What do we have here?" snarled a familiar voice that set Victor's jaw on edge.

Champ Hardy came stumbling out of Shorty's. He had seen Nicole and Waverly's little display earlier before she wandered off with the outsider, and it sent anger boiling deep in his gut. His game was off for the rest of the night, and while he was used to hustling people out of their money in games of pool, he lost his fair share that night as he kept glaring at Nicole and the outsider.

"Go away," seethed Victor, his emotions already getting the best of him.

"Make me," taunted Champ, taking a step into their personal space. "I don't think she can even stand up on her own let alone stand up to me."

"She doesn't need to, I will." challenged Victor. "I've done it twice before, I'll do it again if you hurt her."

"Oh, we'll see about-"

"Champ!" yelled Waverly, appearing suddenly outside with a stumbling Wynonna behind her. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm showing this motherf-" started Champ, but Waverly interrupted him.

"Wynonna, get in the car." said Waverly calmly. "Now."

"Babe-" started Champ.

"Don't, I'm not your _babe_ anymore, and I never will be." said Waverly, her voice still eerily calm. "And you've harassed Nicole and Victor for the last time, do you understand me, Champ?"

"C'mon, Waverly-" tried Champ yet again, but Waverly wasn't having it.

" _No_!" snapped Waverly shrilly. "You hurt Nicole back at the diner, and I've had enough of this Champ, enough! Stop taking your anger out on my girlfriend, or you'll be very sorry."

"This is just a phase, Waves, and when you come back to me, you do know I'll make you grovel just a bit." said Champ, crossing his arms.

Waverly's mouth fell open as she stared at her ex-boyfriend in shock. It took a full minute before Waverly could even react to what he said, and by that time, Champ was smirking victoriously. Waverly quickly looked at Nicole, and an intense wave of relief washed of her when she saw her girlfriend passed out in the front seat of her Jeep.

Waverly was still raw herself from hearing Nicole's story, and knowing that she was insecure about their relationship because of fucking Samuel was a harsh blow. But if Nicole had heard what Champ said and was reminded of everything Samuel hissed at her, Waverly would've made sure that Champ paid.

"See?" Champ asked rhetorically. "You know it as well as I do... You'll be back, and of course I'll take you back because I love-"

Champ never finished his sentence. Waverly's hand stung as she waved it gently while cringing. Champ's eyes were as wide as saucers as he held his cheek in shock. After a minute of silence, Champ's face changed into a look of anger, and then Waverly kicked out. Champ fell to his knees when her foot hit him below the waist, and he gasped as he held himself.

"Don't you ever question my relationship with Nicole again, or I'll let Wynonna deal with you, and she's been waiting to have a go at you." hissed Waverly as she glared down at the whimpering mess at her feet. "I love her, and you'll stay away from her, and if she tells me that you so much as breathed in the same air as her, I will get my shotgun, and you remember how much of a good shot I am, don't you?"

Champ nodded weakly, and Waverly smiled sweetly.

"This isn't a phase, and I will _never_ leave her for you." insisted Waverly seriously before she rounded her car to get into the driver's seat. "Thanks for helping me, Victor. Goodbye, Champ."

Victor gave her a wave as the Jeep peeled out of the lot. He turned to smirk at Champ, and received a pathetic glare in response.

"If you ever hurt my sister again, you'll never see the light of day, I swear it on my life." he warned before he got into his car, and left Champ alone to wallow in his self-pity and pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's actually this program that teaches you these different skills while you do high school like I described for Victor that I took part in when I was in high school, and it's really neat.
> 
> I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter. It felt like it took forever to write and I spent most of the time deleting and second guessing everything I put down, so how did you like it? Did you like the memories? Not so much? Also, a certain someone who some might love and some might hate will be making an occurrence next chapter, so stay tuned for that.


	26. Take A Load Off My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole realizes that despite taking a load off her shoulders by opening up to Waverly, that doesn't magically make her better, but a little chat snaps something inside of her. A little insight from someone makes Nicole appreciate Waverly so much more... plus smut

When Nicole slept, her subconscious thoughts were consumed by fire. When all was quiet in the dead of night, all she could hear were the whimpers and agonized groans just beyond the roar of the fire. Hands still grabbed and clawed at Nicole's body in hopes of either pulling themselves out of Hell or dragging her down into the fiery inferno. Every night when Nicole's eyes shot open, the remnants of her nightmares wearing off, her flesh burned.

After Waverly unceremoniously dropped Nicole onto the bed and she slipped back into unconsciousness, that night was no different. When her eyes shot open, her skin was on fire. Sweat drenched through her shirt, and it swelled on her brow, hairs clinging to her forehead. The night was dark, even more than usual.

The star light was snuffed by the clouds blanketing the inky black sky. The clouds were so thick that it even muffled the moonlight. The bedroom light was cut off along with the bedside lamp. There was only darkness, and it brought along an overwhelming sense of panic in Nicole.

Since childhood, she had learned not to bolt up in bed with a scream tearing from her throat. No one would come for her anyway. The only signs of distress Nicole allowed herself to show were her ragged breaths, her tense body, and her wild eyes. If no one was looking at her, they'd never realize.

Nicole didn't even register her pounding headache throbbing just behind her eyes. She was too focused on the shadows dancing around the room. There were faint moans and whimpers echoing in the corners, and when Nicole looked, figures were shaping and forming. Some had their arms outstretched, as if they were reaching out for help.

In her mind, things were moving, and so they were. In her mind, the figures were crying and sobbing while begging for help, for redemption, and so they were choking messes in Waverly's room, and they were seeking help from _her_. In Nicole's mind, there was something touching her, and so there were fingers crawling up and down her arms.

Nicole's breathing hitched as she stared, wide-eyed, at the shaking figures huddled in all the corners. The gurgled choking sounds were getting louder and louder, and for a moment, it was resonating off her skull while picking at her brain. It was so amplified that Nicole couldn't even hear Waverly's soft breathing next to her.

Then the shadows were moving closer, trapping her in and making her feel smaller and more vulnerable. The shadowy hands were reaching for her, begging with her, and then they were on top of her, pinning her down. Nicole couldn't catch her breath, and she was mere seconds away from spiraling into a hyperventilating doom.

Nicole was immobilized, and it was only causing further alarm. The shadows' fingers were gliding all across her skin, and it left trails of fire in their wake. Everything burned! She hadn't felt this heated since she'd actually been in Hell with Bobo and Bartholomew.

At the thought of those two revenants, the shadows vanished into thin air, and they were replaced by two looming figures. Bartholomew and Bobo were huddled in the corners now, and the former was wearing a twisted smirk that was laced with disgust while the latter looked indifferent to the whole situation.

"I always knew I had a place in your mind." chuckled Bartholomew lowly, taking a tantalizing step forward to the bed. "I am sure that I settled in quite nicely, and I will not be vanquished from it so easily."

With every heavy footfall, Nicole's gut twisted a little bit more, and her stomach was coiled so tightly that she was surprised it wasn't caving into itself. Bartholomew had his spine straight and his arms crossed behind his back. The smile on his face was cold and calculating as his eyes roamed over her paralyzed body.

"I must say, it is quite the honor to own your heart, but now your mind belongs to me as well, and it fills my dead heart with a malevolent satisfaction." grinned Bartholomew, and he was suddenly standing over Nicole. "Despite what you think, despite what you believe, I might be in Hell, but I will never leave. I am in Hell, but I am always watching and I will be waiting for you for eternity."

And then he was gone in a wisp of smoke, just as the shadows had before him. Nicole's mouth opened, but all that came out was a choked gag. Her fingers were twitching by her sides. Nicole's eyes swiveled over to Bobo since she couldn't even move her neck. He was leaning against the corner as he picked at a hangnail with his teeth. He was the epitome of indifference.

"Nice to see you again, Haught." said Bobo once he was finished. "No, please, don't get up."

He chuckled sardonically as he crisscrossed around the room. His eyes zeroed in on and skimmed over several things in the room. Eventually, he stopped on Waverly's beloved, most treasured, stuffed bear. Bobo paused, and then he was caressing the rough body.

"It's been so long since I've been in here, and yet I still remember this little guy." muttered Bobo, and he stuck his finger through the empty eye hole. "Little guy has an injury... Such a nasty older sister... You and Willa were so different in so many ways. Want to throw in your opinion on that?"

Nicole's windpipe felt like it was being crushed. Her throat was closing up, and she was afraid that it would never open again. Bobo was cackling to himself as his glimmering eyes danced across Nicole's face.

"Willa was the center of attention, just like you were, but the difference was that you had to claw and fight to get the attention... She was born into the spotlight. You both despised the attention once the both of you got a taste of the pressure that came with it. You were caring towards your little dick of a brother, whereas Willa wasn't content with having the spotlight and not flaunting it around in young Waverly's face."

Nicole fought hard against her restricted throat, but it wasn't enough to form comprehensible words, just gurgled whimpers. Bobo moved away from the stuffed animal, and walked closer to the bed, his posture calm and relaxed. He gazed down at Waverly's curled figure, and he reached down to take a single strand and twirl it between his fingers.

"We were best friends, did she tell you?" Bobo queried, not really expecting an answer. In the month of recovery between getting shot by Willa and getting kidnapped by Bartholomew and Samuel, Waverly had explained just about everything about herself and the curse, so Nicole did know all about Bobo's connection to Waverly. "Ward ignored Waverly so thoroughly that it was like she didn't even exist, so I took it upon myself to be her friend, and it did have its pluses."

Bobo dropped the strand of hair, and reached up to scratch at his beard. His eyes soon burned red before he absentmindedly strolled around the room yet again. His fingers were still plucking at his beard by the time he turned back to look at both women; one immobilized on the bed while descending into hysteria, and the other was curled up asleep with no idea what was going on.

"It was so easy, you know... It was so easy to weasel my way into her life, and it was so easy to get what I wanted from her because she was just _so_ desperate for the approval of someone. She never got it from Ward, she never got it from her mother, she never got it from Willa, and Wynonna was too stupid and blind to see past the companionship of Willa to give Waverly any sort of attention." said Bobo in a matter-of-fact tone.

Despite getting the facts of Waverly's childhood from Waverly herself, it still struck a chord in Nicole's heart. Despite the fact that Nicole always wrapped Waverly in her arms tightly as if to put her chipped pieces back together, it still made Nicole question whether she did enough to prove to her girlfriend that she was loved and cherished so deeply. Despite how things have changed since her childhood, Nicole wondered if Waverly was still as haunted by her own demons as she was.

"I wanted to take Waverly with me, I thought about going back for her, but my priority was Willa, and Ward was so stupid enough to basically hand her to me on a silver platter. If she wasn't the key to my escape, I would have nothing to do with that bitch." muttered Bobo acidly, but quickly recovered. "The Earps have been nothing more than inconveniences to me, but my _best friend_ was so much more than what her family gave her credit for."

The fright bubbling inside the pit of her stomach battled with the sorrow and anger flowing through her veins. Nicole so desperately wanted to move, she never wanted anything more, but it felt like hands were reaching up through the mattress and holding her down for easy pickings.

"There are three people that I have loathed, hated, and despised more than any other worthless pieces of filth that I've come to associate with." said Bobo, going back to casually lean in the corner. "Wyatt, Wynonna, and then there's you... Wyatt killed me, Wynonna sent me to Hell, and you kept me here."

Nicole would have tensed if her muscles weren't already locked up tight. She wasn't even capable of glaring, but the fiery anger burning inside of her chest was still present, and it burnt her heart with a fury.

"You're looking a little mad there, Haught... Cat got your tongue or should I have it cut right out of your mouth?" Bobo asked rhetorically before snorting. "I don't take kindly to people who've wronged me, and trust me when I say that I have a list I'm going to take pleasure in handling when I get out of here, and I _will_ get out once Wynonna's dead, and then I'm coming for you, Haught."

Bobo pushed himself out of the corner, and narrowed his eyes, as if he was trying to look deep down into Nicole as he took slow steps forward. For every step he took, the little needles prickling just beneath her skin dug farther into her, and she marveled at how she wasn't bleeding onto anything and everything by that point.

"I'm going to make what Bartholomew and Samuel did to you seem like it was child's play." snickered Bobo, running a finger up Nicole's arm, and it felt like a flame dancing over her flesh. "When I'm done turning you inside out and leaving your bones for the crows, I'll come back for Waverly. She'll hate me at first, but I'll get her in the end, and do you know why I'll try so hard? Go on, ask me why."

He was bent over by this point. His beard was tickling Nicole's cheek as he leaned towards her ear as if to whisper a secret.

"It's not enough for me to simply kill you and for Wynonna to be dead... No, death isn't cruel enough. I want to get you two exactly where it hurts, and that's that sweet little girl right next to you." whispered Bobo, and Nicole could hear the smirk in his voice, and it was confirmed when he pulled back to look her in the eye. "I like the way you hurt inside, Haught, and I will make you hurt for all eternity. Just wait and see, and be sure to give Waverly my love."

And then he was gone along with the fingers holding her down.

...

Nicole shot up in bed. Her eyes were unseeing, and her hands were balled into fists by her side with the sheets clenched tightly in the grasp. There was no expression on her face, just a blank mask as she started trembling a bit before she was full-on shaking uncontrollably. The headache pounding viciously against her temple made her lightheaded and her brain fuzzy.

She fell back against the bed, her muscles too weak to support her upper body. Her forehead was covered in sweat, and when she reached up to wipe it away, her hand was shaking violently. Nicole's neck turned every which way as if to assure herself that nothing was lurking just beyond her line of sight. It was eerily similar to her dream from how dark the night was to the echoing groans resonating through the house, but the groaning was coming from the old house creaking in the wind.

Nicole rolled onto her side, and just stared at Waverly. Waverly was curled onto her side facing Nicole. The blanket was tucked underneath her chin, and her hair was splayed across the pillow and over her face. Nicole reached out with her still shaky hand, pushed away the hair in her eyes, and laughed weakly when her nose wrinkled up in her sleep.

After assuring herself that Waverly was out for the count and safe, Nicole peeled herself out of the bed, gathered some extra clothes, and headed to the bathroom. Once she flicked on the light and her eyes adjusted to the brightness, she sighed at her appearance. Her bright eyes were dull and red, and she then knew that the moisture on her face wasn't all sweat, but tears as well.

Her usual vibrant hair hung limp around her face. Her face... she was so pale that she wondered how it was possible to be so clammy and shaky when it felt like Hell itself had burned her. Her eyes fell on the exposed carving etched over her heart. It had scabbed over and scarred, and Nicole felt sick when she looked at it.

After cursing the mirror as if it were an enemy, Nicole turned away to start the shower. She felt sweaty and disgusting, and she needed to get out of her clothes quickly. Hopefully the steam and warmth would quell the throbbing ache behind her eyes.

With her clothes on the floor, Nicole stepped under the steady stream of water, and winced when the heat hit her cold skin, yet she made no move to lower the temperature. She spent time shampooing and conditioning her hair, and once she was done with that, she leaned back against the cool tile, and repressed a shiver.

Tiny water droplets clung to her eyelashes as she blinked rapidly. The puff of steam billowing in the small shower hit Nicole in the face, and she could tell her cheeks were red. Just as warm air filled her lungs as she sighed, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Nicole?" came Waverly's voice, thick from sleep. "Are you alright? It's three in the morning, what are you doing in the shower?"

"I just felt like it." replied Nicole, and she patted herself on the back for keeping her voice steady and casual.

"Is that so?" Waverly deadpanned. "Do you mind if I join you then?"

"Oh, uh, well," stammered Nicole, now cursing herself for tripping over her words. "You don't have any clothes."

"I live right up the stairs Nicole, and there are towels to wrap around my body." countered Waverly, and Nicole could basically hear her eyes rolling. "You wanna come up with a different excuse?"

"I'm about to get out?" Nicole more or less asked, and when she was met with silence, she sighed. "Get in here."

"Good," responded Waverly in less than a second, and she was already bare and climbing into the shower.

"Someone was eager," Nicole joked, but even she could hear how tight her voice was.

"What's wrong?" questioned Waverly seriously, never breaking eye contact with Nicole despite the fact they were both naked.

Nicole glanced between both of Waverly's eyes, just taking her in, and then Waverly was surprised when she was enveloped into a crushing hug. Nicole held Waverly's face to her neck, and wrapped her arms tightly around the younger woman's waist. Waverly said nothing, knowing Nicole would talk when she was ready.

So she just held onto Nicole as they swayed back and forth absentmindedly underneath the cascading water. She could feel the tension in her girlfriend's shoulders, so she snaked her hands up her back, and started massaging away the kinks and knots that were coiled tightly. Nicole released a shuddered sigh as she pulled away to look into Waverly's eyes.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Nicole asked earnestly.

"I do," answered Waverly after a moment. "You know that I love you, right? No matter what anyone says or thinks, I'll never leave."

Nicole nodded, swallowing thickly. It was silent save for the thunderous pitter patter of the shower jet. After a moment, Waverly tentatively broke through the shower raining down.

"Was it a nightmare?" she asked lowly, wanting to whisper but wanting to be heard past the shower.

"Yeah," responded Nicole hollowly. "It felt so... real."

"You don't think..." started Waverly, horrified, but she trailed off.

"No, this was a dream, not a possession or a premonition or whatever, but it was still so specific and terrifying." confided Nicole in a small voice.

"Want to talk about it?" pried Waverly gently.

Nicole opened her mouth, but no words were forming. Waverly could tell by the shift in her body language that Nicole was growing uneasy, but she waited for her to either open up or close herself off. A war was waging just behind Nicole's eyes. She wanted to explain to Waverly what had happened, what was said, but it was so hard to do that when part of it was about Waverly. How could Nicole bring herself to talk about something that made Waverly so uncomfortable?

"It started off with fire." said Nicole slowly, deciding to start off and go from there.

"Nicole," interrupted Waverly, alarmed. "Are you sure-"

"I'm sure," insisted Nicole before sighing heavily and running a hand through her soaked hair. "I pretty much always dream about fire, but this time I heard the suffering of the damned. They were groaning and then they were touching me, and they were choking and-"

"Shh, Nicole," soothed Waverly, pressing her palm against Nicole's rapidly beating heart, and repressed the wince when she felt the indention of the carved heart beneath her hand. "Take deep breaths, honey, that's it."

"I just... I thought... I _hoped_ I would be a lot better by getting all that off my chest, but Bartholomew's still haunting me, and he even said so himself!" exclaimed Nicole brokenly. "I at least thought maybe the night terrors would go away."

"Hey," said Waverly gently, lowering her head to meet Nicole's eye after she hung her head. "Before, you were bottling everything inside without releasing it and adding more pressure on top of it, but now, you have me to talk to, so you'll never have to keep it all inside anymore."

"Sometimes talking doesn't fix the problem, Waverly." countered Nicole pointedly, and sighed. "Just... what do I do?"

"What do you want right now, Nicole?" pressed Waverly. "What's wrong right now?"

"I need you." whispered Nicole, her head inclining slowly. "I need to not think for just a minute, and I need you to know I love you."

"You said that talking doesn't solve everything." said Waverly, her voice dropping lowly. "Show me."

Nicole pressed her lips to Waverly's, and it was slow and full of love. Waverly tangled her hands through Nicole's wet hair, and the thick air became even thicker. Nicole's hands slid over Waverly's slick waist and down her hips. A moan was shared between the two of them, and then the kiss grew as hot as the shower.

Nicole flipped their positions so that Waverly was now the one pressed against the tile wall, and a shudder wracked through her body before the blood boiling in her veins warmed her back up. A tongue swiped across Waverly's bottom lip, and she gasped, allowing the tongue to slip into her mouth and mingle with hers.

There was a moan, and neither knew for sure who it came from, and they couldn't bring themselves to care. Nicole trapped Waverly against the wall by planting her hands against the tile wall on either side of her head. Waverly bit her lip seductively, and pulled the officer in closer by her waist. Nicole groaned at the sight of the bottom lip tucked between her teeth, and didn't hesitate to press her lips firmly against Waverly's.

Waverly sighed happily into the kiss, and raked her nails gently down Nicole's back, which was already red from the steady jet of water hitting against it. The sigh quickly turned into a low moan as teeth, a tongue, and lips attacked her neck. The faint sting of a bite was eased away by the quick swipe of a tongue, and it was finished off with a kiss, and the same pattern was repeated all the way across her collarbone.

Waverly's eyes flew open when her nipple was enclosed in a warm mouth. Nicole hissed at the pain and pleasure of her girlfriend pulling tightly at her drenched hair, but she continued to flick the nipple with her tongue while massaging the other breast.

Waverly's hips jerked forward with a mind of its own, and she groaned in frustration when the thigh between her legs was too slippery from the shower to get the friction she so desperately needed. Nicole just chuckled to herself before she nipped and kissed her way down the taut muscles of Waverly's stomach.

When she looked down past her heaving chest, Waverly saw the wink and smirk directed up at her, and her legs shook with anticipation. Thankfully she didn't have to wait through much stalling when Nicole pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her entrance. Her head fell back against the wall, and she couldn't hold back the whimper when Nicole's tongue brushed across her clit at an agonizingly slow pace.

"Please," begged Waverly breathlessly. "Faster, harder!"

Nicole wasn't one to disappoint, and she wasn't about to start then. With her hands firmly grasping Waverly's hips as to stop her from grinding down onto her face, Nicole slid her tongue into Waverly, and relished in the squeak that she pulled out if her.

Waverly gasped and tried to breathe past the thick steam wrapping around them, but it was too hard to focus when Nicole's fingers were suddenly pumping inside of her, and her mind went blank. The pressure was building within the pit of her gut, and she knew that Nicole could feel it too if her smirk was anything to go by.

"What do _you_ want, Waverly?" grinned Nicole while she peered up at her, but Waverly wasn't capable of speaking two words. ""C'mon, Waves, you gotta tell me what you want."

Waverly could only gasp and moan at the way Nicole's fingers worked brilliantly inside of her, but she groaned her disapproval when the pace was slowed down to a rate that wouldn't get her off. She gritted her teeth, and turned down to look at her grinning girlfriend, and suddenly she was capable of speaking two words.

"Fuck me,"

"I'm already fucking you." countered Nicole with a teasing smile. "What do you want, babe?"

"Make me come!" pleaded Waverly, almost sobbing.

Nicole opened her mouth to talk some more, but thought better of it when she saw the tightness of Waverly's jaw. Instead, she wrapped her lips around her throbbing clit, and did just as Waverly had asked.

...

Nicole was on her back with Waverly's arm thrown across her stomach and her leg hiked high around her waist. The gentle warmness of her breath danced across Nicole's collarbone as she nearly slipped into unconsciousness. Nicole ran her fingers through her slightly damp hair, and just stared up at the ceiling.

"Sometimes I watch you while you're doing the simplest of things." whispered Nicole, unsure if Waverly was awake enough to be listening.

"Hmm," sighed Waverly absentmindedly, her eyes still closed.

"When you're reading through a file or skimming through your research and you have an intense look of concentration on your face... I just can't help but be captivated by you." continued Nicole to herself.

"Hmm," repeated Waverly, but this time softer.

"And then there are other times where I just can't help but stare like when you're doing the dishes or just watching the sky or just daydreaming, and I always see this fleeting look in your eye." said Nicole sadly. "You're always so upbeat and happy on the outside that sometimes I forget that the widest of smiles hide the deepest pains."

By this point, there was no denying that Waverly drifted off to sleep, but Nicole continued to run her hand through her hair as she pressed on.

"I think that people just assume that you're always so happy that they never take the time to really look into your eyes." sighed Nicole, her eyes fluttering shut. "They never take the time to see the decades worth of hurt and pain hidden in them that I manage to see from time to time."

Nicole carefully rolled Waverly onto her back. She leaned up on her elbow so she could look down and watch the peaceful nothingness on Waverly's expressionless face as she slept on. Nicole glanced down at her bare chest, not with a look of lust, but just to assure herself of the steady rise and fall of her chest.

Nicole reached out to gently touch Waverly's face with her fingertips, and memorized the way her lip twitched and the way her eyes tightened the littlest bit. Her hand carefully lowered down her throat, over her collarbone, between her breasts, and settled on her hip. Nicole tucked her head under Waverly's chin, and hugged her close.

"After everything with Bartholomew, Samuel, and Bobo, I only really paid attention to myself. I focused on how _I_ felt, and how much _I_ hurt that I completely didn't pay any attention to your feelings some of the time. I acted like you've never had any significant interactions with revenants, and I felt like I deserved all the attention, all the worry, all the doting... but now I see that life goes on, and there are other revenants out there that could do to someone else what Bartholomew and Samuel did to me... that that could happen to _you_ , and I won't let that happen, I swear." ranted Nicole, her voice wavering throughout.

Nicole swallowed down the lump settled on her windpipe, and pulled Waverly closer. It was true, since Nicole had escaped from the clutches of the revenants, there were parts of her that she liked to ignore. The darker part of her felt like she deserved everything due to what happened to her. The selfish part of her felt like she was owed the world. And yet...

There were the Earps. They were born into something that they never would have agreed to. Nicole wasn't that much of a believer when it came to "true callings" and "legacies", but she couldn't deny that the revenants were their destiny considering that they came along with being born. They were screwed from birth, and yet Wynonna didn't act like everything should be handed to her simply because she was cursed.

Waverly didn't act like the world should fall at her feet or that she needed to be doted on because of how much heartache and suffering she went through. No, Wynonna carried on because that was her job, her "legacy", and there was no one else to handle it. Waverly carried on with life while trying to be happy, trying to conceal how hurt she actually was because no one else would understand.

But things were different now for all three of them. Wynonna didn't have to do things on her own. She had the help of Nicole, Dolls, Waverly, and Doc. Waverly wasn't alone anymore, and she had a family to show how she really felt, and had people who truly cared about her no matter what. Nicole was exactly like Waverly... She had the family she never had growing up, and what better family than ones who understood exactly what happened to her?

"I'm ready, Waverly." whispered Nicole sincerely. "I'm going to go into the station first thing tomorrow, and I'm taking another psych evaluation. I can't let what happened to me dictate the way I live, or else that still gives Bartholomew and Samuel control over me. Besides, there's more revenants to take care of, and I'll be damned if anymore come back from Hell. I _won't_ let anything happen to you or Wynonna as long as I'm around."

Waverly rolled onto her side while snoring the tiniest bit. Nicole smiled softly at her back, and pushed herself close enough to wrap her arms around Waverly. She pressed her forehead against the bare shoulder, and closed her eyes.

"I'm going to make it my mission to show you every day just how much I love you. You'll never have to question me, not ever again, and I won't stop showing you how much I care, not even when that haunted look that crosses your eyes from time to time is gone. We're going to be okay, Waverly, I promise." whispered Nicole, feeling exhaustion clinging to her as well. Just as she was about to fall asleep, she mumbled, "I'm going to marry you someday, Waverly Earp."

And then she allowed the darkness to consume her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks... another chapter down, and we're nearing the end. There's one more chapter that's going to pack quite a punch (pun intended), and then after that will be an epilogue.
> 
> But tell me your thoughts on this chapter, you know how much I love you guys' opinions.


	27. Broken When I'm Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Psych evaluation, both Haughts bonding, and one more beat down for Champ (honestly, that might get its own tag)

Nicole's stomach churned uneasily from the tension pricking at her gut. Waverly glanced up from her research, seeming to sense her girlfriend's uneasiness. The couple was in the BBD office. Wynonna had pulled Waverly away from the Homestead because she needed information on the newest revenant that was wreaking havoc on Purgatory, and naturally the youngest Earp dragged Nicole along.

"Everything's going to be okay, Nicole." insisted Waverly gently, grabbing Nicole's hand to run her thumb across her knuckles.

"You don't know that." countered Nicole dolefully. "What if everything goes _wrong_?"

"You'll just have to wait for the next evaluation." answered Waverly honestly. "There's nothing wrong with having to take the test multiple times, Nicole."

"It means I'm too mental to go back to work." muttered Nicole ruefully. "And despite the fact that Nedley likes me and all, he needs deputies who can actually get out in the field! If I don't get on track, I'll be fired."

"Don't say that!" demanded Waverly. "What happened to you was tragic, and no one blames you for failing the evaluation. You aren't 'mental', and you won't get fired. Just go in there and answer honestly."

"That's what I'm afraid of," mumbled Nicole miserably. "What if honesty _isn't_ the best policy during the evaluation? I don't even know what she's going to ask!"

Their conversation was cut off when Wynonna came waltzing into the office. There was a doughnut stuffed into her mouth, and there was another one in her left hand. She stopped short when she noticed the amused look on her sister's face. There were an array of emotions on Nicole's face; nervousness, amusement, anxiety, and if Wynonna looked close enough, she could see the nausea written across her features.

"Wow, Nicole, you're looking a little green." commented Wynonna, her eyebrow arched as she finished off her first doughnut.

"She's nervous about her psych evaluation." Waverly chimed in, and offered Nicole an innocent smile when Nicole gave her an exasperated look. "What? Maybe Wynonna can give you advice! I can't really give good advice since I've never had a psych evaluation... I wonder what it's like."

"Baby girl," interrupted Wynonna, seeing that Waverly could ramble on forever if she wasn't stopped. "Those things suck! They ask you like deep questions and stuff."

"That's kinda the point of them." said Waverly innocuously. "Otherwise it would be pointless, right?"

"Okay, so not the point," dismissed Wynonna with a frown. "What gives them the right to ask such personal questions?"

"Um, their certifications?" countered Waverly with an eye roll. "You're supposed to be reassuring Nicole."

"There's not much I can offer you, Haughtstuff." shrugged Wynonna. "I've pretty much failed mine, and needed some strings pulled, ya know?"

"I'm screwed," muttered Nicole fretfully. "I was so ready to come in and do this, but then I got here and started questioning myself."

"Hey, don't question yourself." insisted Wynonna. "That's the evaluator's job."

"Wynonna," snapped Waverly in irritation. "You aren't being very helpful."

"I'm not good at comforting." remarked Wynonna ruefully. "I can offer quips, but that's about it... Look, go in there and give them what they want to hear."

"Shouldn't she answer honestly?" muttered Waverly, crossing her arms in her chair.

"In this situation, no, it isn't." deadpanned Wynonna, taking a bite out of the doughnut in her hand. "You have no idea what this person is going to bring up and drag into the light, so instead of stammering and trying to make your honest answer seem acceptable, give them what they want to hear."

I guess," murmured Nicole thoughtfully just as there was a knock on the door.

"Earps," greeted Nedley when he popped his head in after receiving approval to enter. "Officer Haught, Ms. Cassidy just arrived and is requesting to see you for your psych evaluation."

The churning in Nicole's stomach returned worse than before. If it were possible, she would have gone a few shades paler. She couldn't move at first because her legs felt like lead. Her mouth began to water, and Nicole had to swallow a few times to assure herself that no vomit would come out once she opened her mouth.

"I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be." stammered Nicole with a forced chuckle.

"You'll do fine." assured Waverly, leaning over the arm of her chair to press a firm kiss to Nicole's lips. "I believe in you, but no pressure, you understand?"

"Remember what I said, Haught." nodded Wynonna when Nicole walked closer to the door. "Do what I said and you'll do great."

Nedley was watching her closely, and held the door open once she got closer. Nicole wordlessly nodded her thanks while offering a weak smile. Once the door closed, everything suddenly felt too uncomfortably real. It was one thing to talk about how nerve-wracking the whole ordeal was while she was fretting with Waverly and Wynonna, but it was different when she felt the closing of the door signaling that she was alone.

There was a dull burn hollowing out the pit of her gut, and the fire aching inside of her chest spread all throughout her stomach. It was a great deal of effort to pick up each leg and put it in front of the other. Her tongue suddenly felt too big to fit properly behind her teeth. Her hands were clammy... wait, what was she supposed to do with her hands? She didn't know what to do with herself.

"Hey," whispered Nedley, eyeing the room carefully before he leaned in closer. It wouldn't do him any good give off signs of favoritism. "Don't worry, alright? I'll be watching the whole time from the other side of the mirror."

"Are you even allowed to do that?" questioned Nicole with a tiny chuckle to which Nedley shrugged at.

"Don't know, and don't care," said Nedley. "I've seen Deputy Marshal Dolls do it, so why not I? Besides, you're my deputy, and I should get to look in right? Maybe offer you silent support by just knowing I'm there with you?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." whispered Nicole, straightening her spine when she noticed a stout woman dressed in an overpriced power suit sitting in one of the questioning rooms. "You wanna throw in a quick fatherly talk before I go in there?"

"Now, Nicole, you go in there and do your best." grinned Nedley warmly. "No matter what happens, I could never be disappointed, and no one else will either. I'll be out here and I'll be giving you the fatherly support you lacked before coming to ol' Purgatory... Go in there, deputy."

Nicole squared her shoulders, smiled at the little pat on her back, and stepped into the room. Ms. Cassidy didn't even turn to look at Nicole, and that already gave her a bad feeling. She gazed over at the two-way mirror, and nodded to herself knowing her boss and father-figure was watching out for her just past her reflection, and somewhere past him, her girlfriend was rooting for her.

...

"Are you easily awakened by noise?" questioned Ms. Cassidy monotonously, her eyes never leaving the monitor in front of her face.

Nicole narrowed her eyes as she bit her lip thoughtfully. She tried to recall her nights, but when she was required to talk about them, her mind went suddenly blank and she couldn't quite remember. Sighing internally, Nicole decided to go with Wynonna's advice. When in doubt, give the people what they want.

"Not usually?" answered Nicole, unsure. "I guess it depends on how loud the noise is."

There... That was easy enough and believable. Nicole looked at Ms. Cassidy, and suddenly her confidence trailed away like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs. The intense look of boredom and indifference on her face was still present, and it made Nicole question everything about her answer. Was it believable? Was it _too_ easy?

"Do you work under a great deal of tension?" continued Ms. Cassidy, not even reading too much into Nicole's answer.

The utter look of disinterest lit a fire inside Nicole. This was supposed to be her evaluator, and shouldn't they at least show _some_ sign that they want to be there? Before she knew what she was saying, there was a sarcastic jab dancing on the end of her tongue.

"Well, I _am_ a police officer." drawled Nicole bitterly. "If I didn't feel tension or pressure, I wouldn't be doing my job right, now would I?"

Ms. Cassidy merely arched an eyebrow before her mask of calm fell back over her face. She quickly scribbled something down inside of a notebook, and then her eyes turned back to the screen before her. Nicole fiddled with the wire attached to her arm. She didn't understand why she had to wear it, and she didn't feel comfortable with her answers being recorded with her vital signs.

"Is your sleep fitful and disturbed?" queried Ms. Cassidy quickly, never glancing in Nicole's general direction once.

Nicole opened her mouth, her eyebrows furrowing. Her uneasiness was so obviously written on her face that she was momentarily relieved that Ms. Cassidy wouldn't even look at her. Nicole cleared her throat, and tried to regain a steady heartbeat. There was no way she could answer honestly!

"Oh, uh, well, when I go to sleep, I'm out cold." joked Nicole, her voice suddenly higher before she cleared her throat. "So if it's fitful, I wouldn't know."

The joke fell flat, even in Nicole's ears. She could practically hear Nedley slapping his forehead in exasperation. Ms. Cassidy peered down at her paper before she glanced back up at the screen. Nicole's swallowed thickly when she narrowed her eyes, shook her head the tiniest bit, and scribbled some more in her notebook.

"Do you have nightmares every few nights?" continued Ms. Cassidy with a voice that could put anyone to sleep.

Nicole froze. _I have them nearly_ every _night!_ _But I can't possibly tell her that, can I?_ After releasing a calm, steadying breath, Nicole thought about the best way to answer the question... and then she started questioning herself all over again. _Oh god, am I answering too slowly? Does she know I'm lying? Wait... am I answering to quickly? That's a sign of telling lies! Enough!_

Nicole screwed her eyes shut, and tried to shut out her own voice inside of her head. Her hands began to shake, so she stuffed them between her thighs to conceal how shaken she became. Her neck was becoming warm beneath her stifling collar, so she raised a shaky finger to pull the fabric away from her skin.

"Miss Haught, could you _please_ answer the question?" drawled Ms. Cassidy, finally looking up to send Nicole a mild glare.

"Who doesn't have nightmares sometimes?" snapped Nicole defensively, and it was like all her hard work with Chrissy was nonexistent. "Just because I have a nightmare from time to time doesn't mean I'm crazy!"

Nicole audibly squeaked when she realized too late that she should stop talking. The scratching noise of pen on paper could be heard, and Nicole put her head in her hands. _That's it... Might as well quit now because I failed!_

"Do you get angry most of the time?" Ms. Cassidy asked, and Nicole nearly laughed at the absurdity of the question seeing as she snapped at the evaluator seconds before.

"I like to think of myself as a calm and collected person, but I do have my moments from time to time." answered Nicole honestly.

The tension in her shoulders eased the littlest bit seeing as she finally answered a question honestly. Ms. Cassidy narrowed her eyes as she wrote more down, and Nicole looked around her to the mirror. Almost as if try to look through herself, Nicole tried her hardest to catch any sign of Nedley on the other side, but to no avail.

"When someone does you wrong, do you feel the need to get them back because of the principle?" Ms. Cassidy probed.

Nicole shook her head in frustration. These questions were stupid, and she didn't feel like answering them, but she was aware of how guilty she would look if she flat out refused every single one of them. Nicole kept her eyes on the table, refusing to look up and acknowledge that she was basically being ignored.

"If you're asking me if I seek out revenge, then the answer is no." muttered Nicole, but continued begrudgingly. "But I will be angry about it, and get snippy, but _never_ will I stoop to their level!"

"Whose level, Miss Haught?" Ms. Cassidy deadpanned.

"Whoever does me wrong!" spat Nicole defensively, unwilling to give out any names or information. Ms. Cassidy nodded once.

"Once in a while, do you think about things that are too horrible to talk about?" pressed Ms. Cassidy.

Nicole's nails were biting into her palm with enough force, that she knew there would be deep indents there. The sharp throbbing in her palms forced her mind to return to the task at hand and not spiral down into hysteria. _Of course there're things too bad to talk about! I've been tortured for fuck's sake!_ But instead of shouting that at the portly woman, Nicole quelled her anger by flexing out her numb fingers, reveling in the dull ache of her numb joints coming back to life.

"I don't have to tell everyone about _everything_ , Ms. Cassidy." countered Nicole coolly. " _Everyone_ has things they don't talk about."

"Do you see things that no one else sees?" Ms. Cassidy resumed as though Nicole didn't answer.

In Nicole's mind's eye, she could see herself walking down the street. She could see herself stopping abruptly. She could see her face morphing into a look of fleeting horror before she blinked and an unreadable mask fell over her face. Everyone surrounding her walked on, unaware of the turmoil churning within Nicole, nor did they care.

"No," lied Nicole evenly, and offered nothing else.

"Do you think no one understands you?"

"Ma'am, I'm a complicated puzzle that few decipher, but I am quite capable of being cracked." deflected Nicole offhandedly, and smirked at the unimpressed look she received.

"Should a person be guided by their dreams or take warning from them?" questioned Ms. Cassidy tonelessly.

_"I'm going to make what Bartholomew and Samuel did to you seem like child's play... When I'm done turning you inside out and leaving your bones for the crows, I'll come back for Waverly...I like the way you hurt inside Haught, and I will make you hurt for all eternity."_

"They're just dreams," choked Nicole, squeezing her eyes shut. "They can't hurt us, so we shouldn't pay them any mind."

Ms. Cassidy paused a moment, not looking at the screen, yet not necessarily glancing at her notebook. After a moment, her pen connected with the paper, and she was listing off more questions.

"Was your father a good man?"

Nicole's head snapped up, and she stared at the evaluator as if she sprouted another head. Who the fuck did she think she was? What possessed her to think she had any right to bring up her family affairs? Was she allowed to? Was this a simple question that she took too much to heart? Just like the evaluator, Nicole had way too many questions.

"How is that even relevant?" demanded Nicole heatedly.

"I was informed that your upbringing was... less than average." drawled Ms. Cassidy.

"'Less than average?' What's _that_ supposed to mean?" hissed Nicole angrily.

"You know exactly what it means, Miss Haught, now if you would answer the question so we can move on?" Ms. Cassidy deadpanned.

"No," spat Nicole through gritted teeth, her fingers gripping the table tightly. "He wasn't a good man at all."

"Do you love your father?"

"That's enough!" commanded Nedley, suddenly bursting into the room. "That is an irrelevant question, and it has nothing to do with how stable she is to return to work. I don't give a damn how she feels about her father, that's her own personal business, so you'd do best to keep well enough alone about it."

"I've gotten all I need to." drawled Ms. Cassidy with a scowl as she collected her things.

Nicole ripped the wire off. Ms. Cassidy tugged and put everything away, and then she was out the door without so much as a 'goodbye'. The chair Nicole was sitting in suddenly felt too hard and uncomfortable. The light suddenly seemed too dim. The walls were suddenly boxing her in, and the table was suddenly pressed up against her too tightly. To put it plainly, Nicole just felt _off_.

The departure of Ms. Cassidy felt like a weight had been lifted, and yet the absence felt like her intestines were twisted in a firm knot. Nicole had no idea how she did, and if it were up to Ms. Cassidy, Nicole might have to go through the test a few more times. Nicole set her elbows atop the table mechanically, like she was in a trance. Her face was wiped away of any emotion, and her eyes were blank as she stared unseeingly down at the table, her head in her hands.

The feeling of loneliness crept across the room like a predator, and it ghosted over Nicole before clinging to every inch of her body. The uncertainty and anxiety she felt were like chains on each wrist, and it was pulling her down into the depths of her nausea. Where were the Earps? Since Bartholomew and Samuel, they were always with her at one point or another, and she grew to depend on their presence.

 _But you can't be with them all the time!_ Nicole squeezed her eyes shut, cursing the rational part of her brain. _Who says I can't?_ There was an internal war battling inside of her head, and the headache that dulled down since the morning was starting to throb behind her temple once again. _Do you really expect to have them by your side twenty-four seven?_ Nicole started to tremble in her seat. _We're a family._ The voice was growing louder, then softer... Harsher, then calmer. _Family? Or your crutch?_

"Nic?" called a voice from the doorway, and when Nicole's head snapped up, Waverly was watching her with a mixture of worry and concern. "How're you feeling? Nedley told me what happened."

"I don't know," muttered Nicole, the loneliness slowly retreating. "I don't even know how I did!"

"It's _okay_ , Nicole..." soothed Waverly, pushing herself off the doorway and walking into the room. "I know that you might be disappointed if you fail, but no one else is, alright? Stop beating yourself up about it... There's always next time, and you don't know for certain that you failed!"

"Ask Nedley," chuckled Nicole bitterly. "He'll tell you exactly how I did."

"I'd say your answers weren't the worst I'd ever heard." said Nedley from the doorway. "You sure did lose your temper at times, but I wouldn't say it was a _complete_ fail."

"That's comforting," drawled Nicole sardonically. "Nice to know I only failed a little bit."

The knot in the pit of her stomach twisted uncomfortably. Waverly was right, if she failed, she'd be severely disappointed in herself. The bundle of nerves lodged in her chest wouldn't ease with all the comforting words she'd hear. All her friends and family would mean well, but her main problem was with herself, not anyone else.

"Ya know, I think I feel my hangover coming back, so I need another drink." grumbled Nicole, pushing herself out of the sturdy chair.

"It's one in the afternoon." Waverly deadpanned.

"I'm sure Wynonna would love to come along with me regardless of the time." Nicole quipped, pushing the chair in and stepping past Waverly, but her girlfriend grasped her forearm.

"You aren't doing this." said Waverly seriously. "You are not resorting to drinking, do you hear me? Don't let that woman get to you like this, Nicole."

"How can I not?" countered Nicole, irritation leaking into her voice.

"You've made so much improvement with Chrissy, and I won't let you throw it all away because of her!" insisted Waverly, her own frustration underlining her tone. "I've been so proud of of how much you're trying to get back on track... Don't go back to being aloof and angry."

"I just need to get out of here." muttered Nicole warily, and then she was gone.

"She was doing so good." exclaimed Waverly woefully, and Nedley stepped to her, and placed an uncertain hand on Waverly's shoulder.

"Nicole just feels a little wounded in her pride, and she needs some space to lick her wounds in peace." assured Nedley with a sigh. "She feels a little raw and vulnerable from having so many personal things being brought up at one time, and she needs some time to herself. It doesn't mean she's falling into nasty habits."

"I hope," mumbled Waverly, her eyes glued to the threshold Nicole stormed out of.

...

The sky was a dull gray as the wind blew. Nicole felt more at ease as she glanced up at the cloudy sky overhead. She had walked all through town, purposefully keeping her eyes off of Shorty's. She had time to cool down and think, and Waverly had a point. If she became dependent on alcohol, it would soon become her crutch.

Instead, she decided to walk throughout town to clear her head, and she soon took notice to how gray the sky was, and it captivated her rattled mind. She eventually reached the patch of grass just on the outskirts of the town. It was close enough to be able to see people waltzing in and out of shops, or people stopping to speak to people on the streets.

"Room for two on the grass?" asked a familiar voice, but the suddenness still startled Nicole nonetheless.

"Victor!" exclaimed Nicole, her heart racing in her chest. Her brother smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," apologized Victor, settling down on the patch of grass beside the older Haught. "Why are you all the way out here?"

"I needed to think." responded Nicole with a sigh, and smiled when he didn't press.

"How's Waverly?" he asked instead. He hadn't spent too much time with his sister's girlfriend, but he still liked the woman, and he thought she was perfect for his sister.

"I, uh, she's alright," stammered Nicole regretfully, cringing at how she shrugged off her girlfriend's insists.

"'Alright'?" repeated Victor curiously, his eyebrow arching, but he didn't comment. "Well that's... good? I'm glad she's doing fine, I really like her."

"I think you might be growing on her as well." remarked Nicole with a small smile. "It's Wynonna you need to work on."

"And I won't stop trying with her." insisted Victor, and they lapsed into a calm silence.

Victor sat crisscross on the grass, and he was picking at random weeds poking up through the dirt. Nicole watched as he twirled the weed over both pointer fingers, and she was struck by a vision of a much younger Victor who had dirt on his cheek, and his tongue poking out through his closed lips. When the tiny Victor looked over at her, he grinned, and she could see a couple teeth missing.

"Is there something on my face?" he questioned sarcastically.

"Yeah, you got a little dirt right-" replied Nicole, but stopped when she blinked and an older Victor was arching an eyebrow at her. "Never mind."

Victor nodded slowly before he said, "Are you okay, Nicole?"

The hesitation and uneasiness was clear as day on his face. It took all his courage to ask her how she was feeling in fear that he might be going too far. With a sigh, Nicole turned away.

"Do you love our father?" she questioned after a pregnant pause.

Victor's eyebrows shot up, and were almost hidden under his unruly mane of black hair. He wasn't quite sure what he expected to come out of her mouth, but bringing up their father and questioning his love for him was never on that list of possibilities. His lip twitched as he thought of the best way to put his words together.

"Well..." he paused, eyeing his sister carefully. "There were times that I hated him more than anyone I've ever known. He was such a huge asshole that it sickened me when people appraised him. He was abusive, and I don't think he even cared about anything unless it was for his own wants."

"So you don't love him?" pressed Nicole, finally looking back at her brother who shook his head solemnly.

"He was the worst person I've ever known, and no one should have to say that about their own father... but I still love him, or at least a part of me still does." answered Victor cautiously. "Does that make me stupid?"

"No," chuckled Nicole feebly, her voice watery. "It only makes you the same as me."

"You love him?" whispered Victor, making sure no one could hear them despite the fact they were far enough for privacy.

"Maybe we _are_ stupid." choked Nicole, her eyes wet. "He doesn't deserve our love."

Victor reached out slowly, giving Nicole a chance to shrug him off, and when she didn't, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. After a tense moment, he pulled her closer, and her head fell onto his shoulder.

"I can tell how tense you are by your shoulder." mumbled Nicole.

"Just testing out the boundaries." Victor quipped before he rubbed his hand up and down his sister's back. "He _doesn't_ deserve our love, but you know what? I've come to realize that we don't get to decide who we love or hate. Our brains don't control how we feel, our hearts do, and Nicole, you have such a big heart that it cares for almost everyone... Do you remember when we were younger, and you found that little puppy that crawled out of the sewer drain down our street?"

"Yeah, that poor guy was covered in grass burrs from his head to his paws, and I couldn't even see his fur." recalled Nicole, her eyes distant.

"And what did you do?" questioned Victor. "You spent hours picking those damn stickers out of his fur, you gave him a bath, and you nursed him back to health because you couldn't stand the thought of him being uncomfortable."

"I named him Stickers until someone snatched him." mumbled Nicole sadly.

"The point is," piped up Victor, steering the conversation back on track when he noticed how sad she suddenly was. "Stickers wasn't your dog, but your heart wouldn't let you stand by and watch him limping around with grass burrs stuck all over his body or let him starve... You care too much, and that weighs out more than your hate."

"But he was so awful," interjected Nicole quietly.

"He was also our daddy at one time before he became 'father'." countered Victor, squeezing Nicole closer to his side. "Don't feel guilty about loving him, Nicole... It only makes you so much more than he ever was, and I admire you so much for that."

"Victor?" whispered Nicole.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you... I really needed this." insisted Nicole, pulling away to look at him.

"Any time," replied Victor earnestly.

"Do you..." started Nicole uncertainly, and Victor sat silently, letting her continue at her own pace. "Do you ever want to, I don't know... Have a drink with me and my friends or something?"

Victor didn't answer at first. He turned his head up to the sky, and appreciated how gray it looked, just as his sister did. He was a little stunned by the invitation. This was what he worked so hard for, and he was almost there... He almost had his redemption, and the relief he felt made itself known in the form of a lump in his throat.

"I'd love to," coughed Victor. "Maybe tonight?"

...

When Shorty bought the bar, he didn't think to purchase larger tables. He figured booths were enough, and threw away the idea of investing in tables that fit more than two people, three at most. It took two tables to squeeze in six people, and that was _really_ pushing it. Victor was sitting on Nicole's left, almost shoulder-to-shoulder, and Waverly was at her right, their hands embraced under the table.

Wynonna was sitting next to Waverly, and was eyeing Victor carefully, still not one hundred percent trustful of him. Doc was sitting across from Wynonna, and next to Victor. He was puffing on his cigar, shaking his glass, and eyeing its contents with a critiquing eye. Dolls sat across from Nicole, and by the look on his face, one would think he was indifferent to the whole thing, but he actually felt awkward and stiff.

"Maybe this was too many people, and too soon." muttered Nicole awkwardly.

"What, no!" exclaimed Waverly, her giggle a little forced. "I'm glad we're actually starting over, Victor."

Victor glanced up, his mouth full of beer, and he quickly nodded his head in agreement as he set his glass down. He swallowed, and then properly responded.

"The pleasure's all mine, really." he shrugged. "It's nice to start anew with the people who care about my sister."

"That we do," chimed in Doc, nodding his head in Nicole's direction. "She's one mighty fine woman."

"She's my deputy." interjected Dolls, nodding stiffly.

"And...?" drawled Wynonna with an eye roll.

"I thought we were stating facts." shrugged Dolls, unimpressed.

"Aww, you think Nicole's a 'mighty fine woman'?" squealed Waverly, grinning widely. Dolls nodded once, and turned back to his own glass.

"So," piped up Wynonna, circling the top of her glass with a finger. "Besides the fact you were a huge douche nozzle, tell us about yourself."

"Wynonna," scolded Nicole and Waverly simultaneously.

"No, that's alright, I deserved that." interrupted Victor with a frown. "Well, there's nothing much to tell besides that I love art. I've actually painted some things that interest people... I had a scholarship, but that didn't work out."

"Why not?" probed Waverly curiously.

"Well, uh..." said Victor, but how was he supposed to say that it fell through because his father wouldn't let him do it? He was a sore topic that everyone pretty much avoided talking about, and it would make the conversation now awkward if it wasn't already. "Things got in the way."

"You mean your father got in the way." corrected Wynonna knowingly.

"Yes," agreed Victor with a sigh. "But I guess if that didn't happen, I wouldn't be here in Purgatory right now, and fixing things with Nicole."

"You sure that's a bright side?" joked Nicole, but was really feeling bad about Victor losing his chance.

"If I knew then that I'd be here now, I'd probably do it again." said Victor with a shrug.

"Touching words if I do say so myself," drawled Doc, drowning his cigar in his cheap beer before he exhaled a puff of smoke. "But I must say, and I do mean this wholeheartedly, that I like to think of Nicole as a part of this little system we've got going on right here, and I don't take kindly to people who hurt this system, no matter if you share blood. Must I say more?"

"No," insisted Victor with a vigorous shake of his head. "You've made yourself perfectly clear."

"Good," nodded Doc. "Because threatening people is a lot of work."

"How impressive," Wynonna quipped sarcastically, and she flicked the brim of Doc's hat. "I'd be shaking if I was him... Dolls, you wanna threaten him a little?"

 "If you hurt my deputy, I just want you to know that I have practice with getting rid of evidence." said Dolls monotonously, his eyes never leaving Victor's. "And I'm damn good at it... If you want proof, well... There's no one to ask about it."

The table was suddenly quiet. Victor had no doubt that there was some truth to Dolls' warning. Doc arched an eyebrow before he nodded, impressed. Wynonna had her mouth hanging open before she burst out laughing. Waverly was glancing between Dolls, Victor, and Nicole, and Nicole just sighed before she stood up.

"I think we need another round." she said slowly. "Wanna help me with that, Waves?"

"Sure,"

Nicole gave her brother a reassuring smile when he looked up at her with wide eyes that were filled with anxiety. She patted him affectionately on his shoulder before she grabbed Waverly's hand to lead her up to the bar. There was a woman working behind the bar, and Nicole saw her around town every now and again, but never took the time to really learn her name, but she was always serving up smiles along with serving up cheap beer.

"Hey, Melanie, can we get another round?" called Waverly, her voice loud enough to be heard past the crowd and the music blaring.

"Sure thing," replied Melanie with a megawatt grin that just prompted the tips to come rolling along.

"Hey," said Nicole, low enough to only be heard by Waverly, but loud enough so she wouldn't have to repeat herself. "I'm sorry about earlier. I was just-"

"I get it," interrupted Waverly with a shrug. "I was worried that you just completely blew off Chrissy's hard work for that woman."

"I know, I know," rambled Nicole with a frown, but stopped when Melanie returned with six fresh glasses, and held them under the tap. "Everything just left my brain, and I knew I just had to get away before I blew up or something."

"Again," said Waverly, smiling to Melanie as she reached out to grab the glasses that were filled. "I get it. I guess taking a walk and getting some air isn't a totally bad method of stress-relieving, but I just don't want you falling into bad habits... but you kinda did go off about nothing."

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" probed Nicole, eyebrows furrowing. She certainly thought she had a reason to act the way she did.

"Nedley was going to call you tomorrow, but I overheard, so you can just act surprised tomorrow." said Waverly, excitement shining in her eyes. "You passed your evaluation!"

"I... what?"

"I guess vague responses work." shrugged Waverly with an eye roll before her smile returned full force. "But you did it, babe, I knew you could!"

"This night certainly got better." exclaimed Nicole with a smile of her own, her dimples showing.

"Exactly," nodded Waverly before she chuckled a little. "See? You worried over nothing, so that led to you getting all on edge."

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask Chrissy for more help?" remarked Nicole while reaching out to grab a glass in each hand, and grasped a third firmly between her fingertips, Waverly mirroring her actions.

"Do you mind if I ever come along?" asked Waverly casually, ready to accept whatever answer she received.

Nicole bit the inside of her cheek as she contemplated what to say. It was like she was split in two, and both sides of her were in an argument yet again. She liked to think that having Waverly there would add some sort of calming presence that she'd enjoy. On the other hand, her sessions with Chrissy were for the exact _opposite_. Nicole wouldn't want to fully let herself go and feel that anger with her there.

"I'd really love to, Waves, believe me, I would... but I wouldn't be able to really concentrate with you there." said Nicole softly, and added on some flirtation to soften the blow. "All I'd be able to do is pay attention to you... You really are captivating you know."

Waverly gave her a sly grin as they weaved their way through the crowd. Waverly remembered how packed Shorty's used to get sometimes, and it was those points where she didn't really miss her job as the favorite bartender. Just as they reached the table and handed out the drinks, Waverly pulled Nicole in by the collar of her shirt, and smirked impishly before she pressed their lips together firmly.

Victor stared forward, his lips pressed in a firm line as he tried to ignore his sister kissing her girlfriend. Doc pulled his hat low, and cradled his glass between his hands. Dolls looked away, politely giving them as much privacy as he could despite them being in a crowded bar. While everyone else was courteous enough to glance away, Wynonna was catcalling and whistling at the display loud enough to gain the attention of some of the other patrons.

"Could you take that somewhere else?" called Champ, the bar suddenly going quiet save for the music. "Some people are trying to drink here in peace."

Waverly pulled away from Nicole, but kept her collar firmly in her hand. She turned her head to give Champ a withering look that held so much anger that he took a step back. In the entirety of their relationship, she hadn't looked so furious with him, even when she found out about all the times he cheated on her.

"You didn't seem to mind kissing in public when we were a couple." snapped Waverly, acid dripping from her voice.

"Waverly," deadpanned Champ with a chuckle, like it was obvious and she was a little stupid for not knowing. "You know why it's different."

"Really?" drawled Nicole indifferently. "You wouldn't have a problem if we asked you to join."

Champ opened his mouth, paused for a moment, and then a sly grin twisted his lips. "I mean... Are you asking for real?"

"Listen here, Hardy," called Wynonna, still sitting down, but watching the scene like a hawk. "Everyone around this town knows how _unfaithful_ you can be, so I don't think anyone wants to sleep with you."

"Unfaithful?" repeated a blonde woman just behind Champ. "Is she right? You know what, I'm leaving."

"Hannah, wait!" insisted Champ, trying to reach out and stop her.

"My name's Hayley!" spat the woman, slapping Champ before she stormed off.

"Might wanna get yourself tested!" yelled Wynonna loudly, and smirked at the redness coloring Champ's cheek that soon matched the other one in a blush when the bar erupted into laughter.

" _What the fuck?!_ " hissed Champ, rounding on Wynonna, but stopped abruptly when Doc had his gun pointed lazily at him, and Dolls was cracking his knuckles threateningly.

"I'm only looking out for "Hannah"." Wynonna quipped, a smirk playing at the edges of her lips.

"You just lost me a sure thing." hissed Champ hotly.

"I don't think that's the right kind of mind frame you should use when talking about a woman." drawled Victor, his eyes narrowed.

"Did I ask what you thought about it?" countered Champ dismissively, looking Victor up and down in disgust. "I should have known that anyone related to _her_ would like to stick their nose into _my_ personal life."

"I'll have you know," interrupted Nicole casually, deciding to ignore the irking voice picking at her, questioning how he knew they were related. "That I was respectful of the principle of you two being in a relationship, but I never respected you. So while I thought that you were scum, I didn't do anything... _You_ lost her because you're a dick, plain and simple."

The bar was unnaturally quiet as the patrons -drunk, buzzed, or sober- watched on with great interest. It was quite rare to get some good gossip, so everyone was getting their full. Champ looked around at all the eyes settled on him, and he squirmed anxiously. He couldn't let them get away with making a fool of him in front of everyone! He just couldn't.

"Why did you two even come here?" snapped Champ defensively, his fists clenching by his sides. "You two are nothing but trouble! You," he pointed at Nicole. "ruined everything! And someone else must agree with me because I remember you getting all busted up!"

Nicole's smirk slipped, and her face was stony as she gave Champ a death glare. Champ tried to laugh it off, but grew uneasy when he noticed the other five pairs of eyes glaring at him as well. Doc's grip on his pistol tightened, and suddenly it was aimed at Champ with deadly precision. Dolls' calm facade was replaced with a deep frown as he prepared to stand up. Waverly's grip on the front of Nicole's shirt tightened, and she was torn between enveloping her girlfriend in her arms or knocking her ex-boyfriend's lights out. Victor was suddenly on his feet, his chair flying to the ground in his rush to defend his sister.

But it was Wynonna who reached Champ first. Her hand balled the front of his shirt, and suddenly his face was brought right into her fist. There was a loud _crack_ , and then suddenly there was blood flowing from Champ's nose. His hands flew to his broken nose, and left his stomach wide open, and then Wynonna rammed her fist into his gut. He doubled over, groaning in pain.

Nicole placed her hand on the small of Waverly's back, and used the other to reach behind her to grab her full glass of beer. Champ glanced up only to look away in shock as the cold beer spilled over his hair, down his forehead, and soaked through his shirt. Victor stood beside Wynonna, and grinned cruelly down at Champ, who was trying to scurry away. Victor stuck his foot out, and chuckled when Champ tripped and crashed to the floor.

"Now look who's all busted up." Wynonna quipped, glaring down at the whimpering mess at her feet. "You really don't learn, do you? Hopefully we finally beat some sense into you."

Champ just groaned as a few men who were watching the display hauled him up to his feet, dragged him away, and threw him out the door. The tension in Nicole's back eased a bit, and she turned to give Waverly a full-blown grin.

"You okay?" whispered Waverly, conscious of the stares they were getting.

Nicole turned to see Victor and Wynonna sharing a high-five with smirks on their faces. Her head turned the other way to see Doc holstering his gun while offering Nicole a smile and a nod. Dolls relaxed in his seat, and inclined his head the littlest bit before he took a sip from his glass. Eventually the other patrons turned back to their own drinks, and then life went on... It always did, no matter what big event happened, and that was alright because Nicole was exactly where she belonged: with her family.

"I've never been better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how much I love your thoughts.
> 
> On a completely different note, is there anyone else who's a little wrecked by the Carmilla series finale? I can't possibly be the only one, right? What will I do without them? What is life? I was listening to my playlist as I finished up this chapter, and yeah, I do have the theme song on my playlist, and I swear, it played just to taunt me... or because it's just on shuffle and randomly played... but still! It hurts. Okay, mini rant over.


	28. Eight Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my mind, I imagine Nicole to be 23.

_Eight years later_

 

Resolve and dedication were an intense combination. There was a fine line between anger and obsession, and there were several times throughout the passing years that Nicole staggered along that line. Pure resignation and utter desperation seemed to go hand-in-hand sometimes. Well, that's what the Black Badge Division could tell you after eight years of raw determination towards the endgame.

Time is supposed to heal, and scars were meant to fade, and Nicole could attest to that to some degree. And yet... there were times that had her out in the heat, or trudging through the frigid snow, and it was during those specific times that proved the theory of healing and fading to be not completely true. Whether Nicole's skin became sun-kissed or paled a lighter shade than usual, the marks marring her flesh stood out more noticeably.

But after eight long years, she was able to look at them without cringing. She wasn't so ashamed of the marks anymore, because that's the truth behind the statement of time; Time didn't heal in all cases, but it made certain things more bearable, more tolerable. And time helped with dealing with her mental scars as well. The dark didn't reach for her anymore. Bartholomew and Samuel weren't lurking around every corner, just waiting for the perfect moment to strike. The loud whimpers were now mere whispers.

Life had moved on, and cases still came. Death still happened, and justice still fell upon those monsters. It had become a sort of second nature to those working for the Black Badge to rein in their emotions, to look the other way. The sound of the Earth's crust opening up in a gaping crevice that released roaring fire that consumed was like their maxim in a way. It was repetitive, it was their motto basically. With every portal to Hell that was opened, the weight weighing down on their shoulders lifted the slightest bit.

But there were some cases that chipped away at either Wynonna, Waverly, Nicole, Dolls, or Doc. Despite the expressionless masks they put up during every case, there were instances that gripped the edges, and ripped the mask clean off, leaving them bare, vulnerable, and filled with sorrow. Years had passed -five to be exact- but no one would ever forget Reginald Braxton.

Waverly would never forget skimming through her research. She'd never forget the carefulness in which she reserved just for those crinkled, yellowed files that were weathered with time. It still made her sick to her stomach when she thought about the triumphant smile on her face when her fingertips brushed along the correct file, only to slip away quicker than Doc could draw his gun when she read along the scrawl written haphazardly.

Waverly could still feel the lump in the back of her throat. She remembered trying to choke it down with a cough, but it wouldn't leave as she gazed down into the fearful eyes of the child in the picture. Reginald was only seven years old when his picture was taken... when he died by Peacemaker all those decades ago.

Reginald was desperate. His family was close to nothing, and what little he had, he had to take care of. People did stupid things for the people they love, so how could anyone fault a little _seven-year-old_? It was a simple case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Reginald was a ghost in the night, and whatever his fingers happened upon, he would snatch away with ease, and sell it later on the next day. However, there was one instant where he robbed an elderly woman, only for her to awake deep into the night. The fright from catching the quick shadow looming over her was too much for her heart, and then Reginald was gone.

It was nothing personal really, it was just the matter of needing money for food and other necessities. The guilt that plagued him never really faded, but he told himself day in and day out that he did what he had to do to help his family. One cold night, Reginald happened upon the wrong house. It was the house of a murderer that Wyatt caught wind of. A scuffle took place, the gun went off, and the little boy dropped as easily and as lightly as a feather.

After years of putting down revenants, Wynonna's hand never shook when she cocked Peacemaker, ready to give the final blow. She was always steady, a fire in her eyes that mirrored the flames licking up at the revenant's feet before it swallowed them whole. The day she found Reginald, her hand shook fiercely.

From the very moment they met him, Dolls was always made of stone it seemed. It took prodding to finally make him crack a smile, and it took great work to make him laugh, but it was much harder to get him to show any signs of despair. That day, Dolls' shoulders were more rigid than usual. He closed his eyes, his jaw clenched, and felt not only sorry for Reginald, but sorry that Wynonna herself couldn't look away.

Nicole had grasped Waverly's hand tightly, and watched her girlfriend weep into Doc's shoulder. Doc had long since taken his hat off to show respect, and he held it awkwardly in one hand, while he gently patted Waverly on the back with the other one. Nicole couldn't bring herself to watch as Reginald's eyes filled with tears as he begged and pleaded with Wynonna.

"Please," Reginald had sobbed, his hand outstretched towards Wynonna. "I didn't mean to, I swear!"

"I'm sorry, but I have to do this." choked Wynonna, her hand shaking.

"Why?" Reginald had whimpered, his eyes wide and full of fright... just like in his picture.

"I need to do it to save my family."

It was like a light had been switched. Reginald's sobs and pleas stopped abruptly, and cruel acceptance settled over him. He understood more than some what it was like to go to great lengths to protect one's family. He stood on shaky legs, but his nod was firm. Wynonna had muttered her catchphrase, and then he was gone, not even bothering to scream.

The death of Reginald (he was already dead, but Wynonna was still plagued as if she had killed him) was still a constant itch that dug deep beneath the skin, and no matter how hard they scratched, it was too far to reach. Time, it seemed, never fully healed the mental strain of Reginald, but five years was enough time to make it bearable, but it was still a scar that marked them all.

No matter how devastating Reginald's case was, no matter how hard it hit, there was another case handed to them the very next day. Revenants stopped for no one, _death_ never took a pause. Purgatory still remained weird, and the death toll was rising with every day, and that meant Wynonna didn't have time to resort to her old ways. Not that it mattered... Killing Reginald was harder than any liquor she could get her hands on anyway.

Seventy-seven... That was the cursed number, at least for the Earp's anyway, but it seemed like their lucky number was eight. Wynonna was thirty-five, Waverly was twenty-nine, and Nicole was thirty-one before they could take a breath, before they could really settle down in peace. After eight years, seventy-seven kills, and too many bottles of liquor to count, the curse had been broken.

Nicole hadn't expected anything different, but the overwhelming sense of relief was still enough to bring her to her knees when the ground closed up with Jefferey Hamilton still clawing and spitting obscenities. Wynonna stared at the spot for a span of twenty seconds before she dropped Peacemaker, and threw her hands over her head victoriously. Waverly's body collided with hers, and the sister's were spinning in circles while laughing madly all the while.

...

"I recognize a far away look when I see one." remarked a gruff voice, startling Nicole from her memories.

Nicole spun around in her chair to see Nedley leaning against the doorway. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, his thumbs hooked into his belt loops. His graying hair had turned into a pale white over time, and his mustache and stubble and grown out into a full santa-like look, but he always glared when he was compared to jolly ol' Saint Nick.

"Just thinking," said Nicole wistfully, leaning back into her chair with a sigh.

"Uh oh," joked Nedley, pushing off the threshold, and stepped farther into the room. "Sometimes thinking isn't for the best."

"Doesn't keep me from doing it," shrugged Nicole, watching as he hobbled up to the desk, and took a seat in one of the cushioned chairs. "What are you doing here?"

"Aren't you glad to see me? I knew your entire day would brighten just by seeing my face." teased Nedley, groaning as his joints cracked and popped as he settled down into the chair. "I came to check you out on your first day as sheriff."

"Really?" drawled Nicole with an eye roll. "I think you just can't deal with the thought of retirement."

"That is so not true." said Nedley dismissively, his arms crossing over his chest. "I'm just here to make sure you got things in order, deputy... or should I say _sheriff_. I don't just hand over the reins willy-nilly, Nicole."

"Of course not," agreed Nicole sarcastically, smiling sly over the desk. "But you're just afraid that I'll do a better job than you on my first day."

"Like that's even possible," scoffed Nedley, leaning forward in his seat. "I'm just making sure the boys aren't giving you a hard time."

"Schultz!" called Nicole loudly, and smirked when a mousy-looking man popped his head in quickly. "Once you're finished up on the paperwork for that report that Mrs. Mason called in about those boys picking on her livestock, I need you to patrol tonight... You know how it is on weekends around here."

"Boy, do I!" agreed Schultz with an eye roll. "You got it, boss."

"I think I got things covered." said Nicole, leaning back into her chair with a smirk and a wink. "Any other reason as to why you're in my office?"

Nedley sighed, and leaned back in his chair as well. He was getting old, so there was no denying that retiring was for the best, but it was still hard to let go of the reins when he was grasping them for such a long time. Then again, ever since Dolls came into town all those years ago, he wasn't quite sure who held the reins over the quirky town. But the respect that his title gave him was comforting. People looked to him for answers, whether he had them or not, and while that was stressful in itself, it was also wonderful to know that people turned to him in time of need... They trusted him enough, and that was worth the sleepless nights, the disgusting sludge he had to consume every morning to keep himself going, and the balding that came along with the job.

But to see Nicole settled nicely into his old seat was enough to quell his regret and uneasiness about his retirement. He didn't trust enough people to take over for him, but the only wise option was Nicole, and he sighed heavily in relief when she agreed to take the job when the time came for him to step down. That time came sooner than later, and it was a tough transition for both of them.

"I just... needed a moment to really say goodbye to this place." muttered Nedley grimly.

"Oh, Nedley," sighed Nicole with a sad smile. "You can always come in whenever you like!"

"Damn right," Nedley quipped halfheartedly. "But it's different, and you know why."

"Yeah... I do," whispered Nicole, reaching out and placing her hand over his on the desk.

"I'll certainly miss this job, but I know Purgatory is in fine hands." insisted Nedley, flipping his hand over so he could grasp at Nicole's. "That softens the blow."

"I'll be sure to make you proud, sir." said Nicole, squeezing Nedley's hand tightly.

"Nicole, you've done that long ago." countered Nedley with a lopsided grin. "There's no way you can make me anymore proud than I already am."

"I've always liked a challenge." joked Nicole, rising from her chair as Nedley did from his.

"Alright, I guess I'll let you get back to work." coughed Nedley, clearing his throat. "Love you, kiddo."

"I'm not a 'kiddo' anymore." grinned Nicole, flicking her black stetson up out of her eyes. "But I love you, too."

"There's a lot of love going around in here." said a familiar voice suddenly.

Nicole turned to look over Nedley's shoulder, and smiled brightly when she spotted her brother leaning against the doorway just as Nedley had done minutes before. He was dressed in faded jeans and a plain shirt that had flecks of paint coloring the cloth. Victor ran a hand through his unruly hair that was still unkempt after all the years that passed.

"Victor!" yelped Nicole, and was suddenly crushing him in a hug before he could blink. "You didn't call to tell me you were coming!"

"Yeah, well, it wouldn't have been a surprise if I did." replied Victor casually, and laughed when his sister pulled back to give him an unimpressed look. "Well, college is out for break, and I figured I'd come spend it with my family."

Victor had stayed in Purgatory for about four years before he decided that the burden of their father's disapproval wasn't worth throwing away his love for art. Nicole and Waverly were just as excited for Victor when he waved around his scholarship for the college in Toronto. It was only when he packed his bag into his car, ready to say goodbye, did it really hit Nicole that her brother was leaving.

The good memories that they built over the years certainly made up for all the horrid ones during their childhood. A small part of Nicole (although she never allowed that part to show) was afraid that once he left, he'd be gone for good that time. She was afraid that now that things were going so smoothly between them again, old habits would leak through, and her brother would slip through the cracks.

"Alright, now that we're alone, what's wrong?" Victor had asked when he slammed the trunk closed. He hopped up to sit atop the trunk, and patted the space beside him. "I can tell something's bothering you, so spill."

Over the years, Victor became less wary of pressing Nicole for answers. Nicole had just shaken her head before she hopped up to sit beside her brother. With his arm thrown around her shoulder, she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Promise me that this isn't like last time." whispered Nicole, staring down at her shoes. "All I can see is myself all packed up and leaving, and we both know how that ended."

""Nicole," said Victor, leaning back in shock. "That's never gonna happen again, I promise."

"I don't want you to leave and never come back after I got you back." sniffed Nicole, reaching up to rub at her eyes irately.

"Nicole," said Victor firmly, slipping off the trunk so he could meet her eyes. "I _swear_ that this won't be like before. I will call you everyday to tell you how classes are going, and I'll Skype with you and Waverly every week, understand? I don't think I could ever say goodbye again."

Nicole slumped forward, but Victor was there to catch her. Her arms fell across his neck as she buried her head in his shoulder. Victor held her tightly, and let the nerves that were eating at him to finally come to light as they held each other for the comfort they both needed.

"I love you," Nicole had mumbled, muffled by his jacket.

"I love you, too." Victor had whispered back.

"Oh?" said Nicole teasingly, shaking away the memory, and was suddenly was in her new office. "Why don't you tell me about this family, and I'll take you to them."

"Maybe you'll know my sister," joked Victor, playing along. "She has red hair, she works for the police department, plus she's this real pain in the ass."

"She sounds pretty top shelf to me." said Nicole with a grin, and turned when Nedley cleared his throat.

"I'll be heading on out." said Nedley, pushing his way over to the siblings. "Victor, it's great to see you again, son."

"Missed you, Nedley," grinned Victor, reaching out to pat the older man on the shoulder.

"Everyone always does," Nedley quipped before he shuffled out of the doorway. "How long you staying for? You know you're always invited to visit me and Chrissy. I think she'll be glad to see you in town. She hasn't been up for much of anything since her mom passed, but maybe you could cheer her up."

"I'm sorry about your wife, Nedley." offered Victor with a deep frown pulling his lips downward.

"Yeah," sighed Nedley, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah..."

"Maybe we'll all head over to your house sometime while Victor's in town." suggested Nicole lightly, trying to bring the mood up before it dragged everyone down.

"We'd like that." mumbled Nedley with a nod. "You two behave yourselves... Everyone knows how you two are together."

"Yes, sir," said Nicole and Victor simultaneously, and watched the ex-sheriff hobble out of the station.

"He's certainly getting old." commented Victor offhandedly.

"Victor, shut up," grumbled Nicole with an eye roll.

"Will do, sheriff," conceded Victor, raising his hands peacefully with a light grin on his face.

"I've been the sheriff of Purgatory for a grand total of half an hour, and you're like the fortieth person to crack some wise ass comment." muttered Nicole, taking a seat back in her chair as Victor remained in the doorway.

"Oh, I have more up my sleeve at the ready." grinned Victor smugly.

"Keep talking shit and I'll have you arrested." muttered Nicole, resting her chin on her fist.

"That's called abusing your power, and that's frowned upon." countered Victor with a sneer. "What would the townspeople think when they find out their new sheriff is unfair? They'd riot in the streets! Fights would break out!"

"They could riot all they want behind bars." countered Nicole with a chuckle.

"Abusing power," chuckled Victor himself. "What would your wife say?"

"She _loves_ my new title." smirked Nicole, her eyes suddenly focused on nothing but a past memory. "She _really loves_ my new title."

"Sick," muttered Victor with a scowl. "I don't need to know that."

"Then get out of my office." grinned Nicole, propping her feet up on the desk and crossing them at the ankles.

"How professional," jabbed Victor sardonically, taking a seat on the couch lined up on the left wall.

"You don't want to sit there." said Nicole in a matter-of-fact tone. "Waverly insisted on giving me quite a 'good luck' on my first day."

"What the fuck?!" snapped Victor, hopping up off the couch in disgust. "You've been here for half an hour, and I'm pretty sure you've had only a minute to yourself!"

"It was a minute of awesomeness." said Nicole with a blissful smile.

"Okay, I'm getting out of here!" groaned Victor, clapping his hands over his ears. "My fragile ears can't take anymore."

"Waverly's over at the diner with Chrissy this morning. She's supposed to be bringing me breakfast after she's done." said Nicole, crossing her arms behind her head. "Why don't you pop in and say hello... She'll be excited to see you."

"Sure thing," said Victor, a glimmer of excitement shining in his eyes.

"I'll see you tonight, Victor." said Nicole, rearranging herself so she was sitting properly with her legs under the desk and her arms were crossed over the mahogany. "You picked the perfect day to visit seeing as we're having a little barbecue."

"That's the whole reason I came home." Victor quipped with a smile as he whirled around on his heel. "Of course I'll be there!"

"Love you," yelled Nicole loudly, rolling her eyes at his receding back.

"Love you, too, sheriff!" called Victor without turning back.

...

The sky was a mixture of pink hues, violet streaks, and orange shading by the time Nicole's tires trekked over the gravelly driveway of the Homestead. Waverly's Jeep was parked on the edges of the grass. It had long ago faded to a dull pinkish red rather than the striking crimson it was before. A beaten up Toyota Corolla was parked beside the Jeep.

Nicole turned off the engine, and sat back in the driver's seat. Her eyes landed on the window, and she could see Victor settled on the couch with Wynonna sitting on the other end. Both their eyes were glued to the television, their lips moving only occasionally. She knew Doc and Dolls were somewhere on the property or inside the house.

The front door opened up. Waverly stood, looking out at Nicole. The golden light framed her figure, and Nicole's breath evaded her. A smile found its way to her lips without her knowledge, but she wasn't complaining. It thrilled her how even after eight years, Waverly still managed to steal her breath without even trying, and she found that it was in those moments where Waverly was the most breathtaking.

It was the moments, early in the morning with the first lights barely touch over the ground, that Nicole loved. She loved opening her eyes to find Waverly's face to be inches from her own. Waverly was stunning all the time, but it was when she was completely free of any stress or makeup, drool pooling on the pillow, and hair sprawled over her face that she was the most gorgeous to Nicole.

It was the moments where she was so enraptured in something that she tuned the rest of the world out. When her eyes narrowed and her nose crinkled in concentration, Nicole always had to just stop and watch her for a moment. When Waverly's lips pursed in thought, Nicole would always follow along with a sigh. Waverly would always turn to her, startled from her reverie, and would ask her what was wrong. The answer was always a silly grin and the shake of her head.

It was the moments where Waverly thought no one was watching, but Nicole was... she always was. There was a carefree smile that flicked across her face every now and again that sent Nicole's heart racing. Then there were other times where her eyes clouded over, and a frown furrowed her brows. Nicole knew those to be memories dancing behind her deep brown eyes, but even when Waverly was hurting, even when a certain memory haunted her, Nicole thought she was so damn awe-inspiring.

And don't get Nicole started on when Waverly went into a full depth explanation on something she was deeply passionate about. The fire smoldering in her eyes when she giggled or waved her hands for emphasis still sent butterflies flapping around in the pit of Nicole's stomach. Nicole could only watch in awe as Waverly rambled away about whatever caught her attention, but she didn't mind at all. She could listen to Waverly listing off words she didn't even know from the dictionary, and she'd still hang onto every word with rapt attention. Those were just a few of the _many_ instances that Nicole found Waverly to be the most beautiful woman in the world, and it were those exact times that proved Nicole had found the one for her.

Nicole's eyes came into focus as she noticed Waverly reaching back to close the front door behind herself. She wrapped her jacket closer to her body, and then she was setting on her way over to where Nicole was in the driveway.

"What are you waiting for?" questioned Waverly when she opened up the passenger side door. "You know your brother's in there, right? I'm surprised you aren't pushing me out the way to get to him."

"Oh, I'll certainly do that in a minute." joked Nicole, her hand still resting on the gear shift.

"I guess I'll just wait out here for that." said Waverly with a laugh as she climbed into the car and shut the door. "How was your day?"

"Stressful? But this morning certainly prepared me for the day better than the station sludge ever could." said Nicole with a laugh of her own.

"It was my pleasure to help." purred Waverly seductively.

"No doubt it was a pleasure," smirked Nicole, flashing her dimples. "I'm pretty sure the entire station knew what was up by all of your moaning, Waves."

"And yet, they didn't do a damn thing, did they?" countered Waverly with a smirk of her own.

"What will I do with you, Waverly Earp?"

"I'm pretty sure it's Waverly Earp- _Haught_ now." grinned Waverly, pushing herself over the arm rest to plant a kiss firmly against Nicole's lips.

"I knew I'd make a Haught outta you." Nicole quipped, kissing Waverly back with just as much vigor.

"Something told me you would, too." whispered Waverly, her fingers taking Nicole's braid out so she could run her fingernails along her scalp. "Why don't you come inside? The food will probably get cold if we don't hurry."

"The food will probably be gone long before it gets cold if your sister and my brother have anything to say about it." remarked Nicole.

"Even worse, we have to get in there." said Waverly with mock horror. "Besides, we have to go tell them the announcement, and seeing as your brother picked the perfect time to visit, I'd say we should do it tonight."

"Probably," nodded Nicole, pulling the keys from the ignition. "What are you just sitting around for then? We have a barbecue to take part of!"

Waverly scoffed as she shoved open the door to follow after Nicole. There were two slams, one after the other, and Nicole stood at the front of the car with her hand outstretched, waiting for her wife. Waverly offered her own megawatt smile that sent Nicole's heart into overdrive. Their fingers interlocked, and it still amazed them how easily they fit together... like they were meant to hold hands. Not that Nicole would ever admit to such a sickeningly sappy thing.

Waverly wrapped one arm around Nicole's waist, and rested her free hand just beneath the top buttons of her uniform that were unbuttoned like they've always been. Her fingertips caressed the scar over Nicole's heart while looking her deeply in the eyes.

"I love you... so damn much." whispered Waverly, leaning her forehead against her wife's collarbone.

"And I love you." Nicole whispered right back, and her hand fluttered down to rest on Waverly's stomach. "And I'll love this little guy or girl."

Waverly pulled away from Nicole, but grabbed her right hand as she led her over to the house. Victor was in the doorway, ushering them forward along with the protests of his stomach.

"C'mon! We're all hungry!" he whined, and soon Wynonna was beside him nodding vigorously.

"I could've eaten my share plus the both of yours in the amount of time it's taking to get inside!" barked Wynonna, her arms crossed.

"Our family is crazy." muttered Waverly, but there was a warm smile twisting her lips upward before she stuck her tongue out at her sister just to receive it right back from Wynonna.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." insisted Nicole as they pushed through the groaning pair in the doorway.

"Good evening, Nicole," greeted Doc, nodding his head. "I do believe the first day is always the most stressful, but there is nothing that good food and good company cannot fix."

"Ya know, you really are full of wisdom, Doc." mused Nicole, a glimmer in her eye.

"Fine wine, Nicole," Doc smiled, repeating himself from all those years ago.

As the pinks, purples, and oranges gave way to the dark black of night, Nicole, Waverly, Wynonna, Victor, Doc, and Dolls all tucked into the food. The banter was light, but Nicole didn't participate. She wanted to just sit back and watch the way Victor and Wynonna laughed about something that happened on the TV. She watched as Doc and Dolls muttered about one thing, and completely switch to something else. She chose to look over and watch the way Waverly watched the group with a wide smile. It was in times like this that made the statement "Time heals all wounds" true.

With her quirky family surrounding her, and her wife with a life inside of her at her side, Nicole felt healed in every way. It might just be for a moment, and life might come knocking by the time the next sunrise melted away the night, but at that moment, Nicole was free... She was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks. Thank you to every single one of my commenters... You know who you are. Thank you to all my readers, and thank you to everyone who left a kudos. You guys are the best, and I love you guys... This really is a great fandom that I love being a part of and writing for. This story might be over, but I'm not done. Hopefully all of you stick around for whatever else that I come up with. Thanks again for the support... I meant the world.


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